Think Like a Monk

by Jay Shetty

  We overstimulate the dopamine (reward) channel: Robert H. Lustig, The Hacking of the American Mind: The Science Behind the Corporate Takeover of Our Bodies and Brains (New York: Avery, 2017).

  SEVEN: THE MIND

  the mind is compared to a drunken monkey: Nārāyana, Hitopadeśa (New York: Penguin Classics, 2007).

  roughly seventy thousand separate thoughts each day: “How Many Thoughts Do We Have Per Minute?,” Reference, accessed November 12, 2019, https://www.reference.com/world-view/many-thoughts-per-minute-cb7fcf22ebbf8466.

  about three seconds at a time: Ernst Pöppel, “Trust as Basic for the Concept of Causality: A Biological Speculation,” presentation, accessed November 12, 2019, http://www.paralimes.ntu.edu.sg/NewsnEvents/Causality%20-%20Reality/Documents/Ernst%20Poppel.pdf.

  “your brain is not reacting to events in the world”: Lisa Barrett, “Lisa Barrett on How Emotions Are Made,” interview by Ginger Campbell, Brain Science with Ginger Campbell, MD, episode 135, July 31, 2017, https://brainsciencepodcast.com/bsp/2017/135-emotions-barrett.

  our minds as monkeys: Piya Tan, “Samyutta Nikaya: The Connected Sayings of the Buddha, Translated with Notes in the Sutta Discovery Series,” Buddhism Network, accessed January 22, 2020, http://buddhismnetwork.com/2016/12/28/samyutta-nikaya/.

  “As irrigators lead water”: Verse 6.80 from The Dhammapada, introduction and translation by Eknath Easwaran (Tomales, CA: Nilgiri Press, 2007), 126.

  “For him who has conquered the mind”: Verse 6.6 from A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, Bhagavad Gita As It Is (The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International, Inc.). https://apps.apple.com/us/app/bhagavad-gita-as-it-is/id1080562426.

  An enemy, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is: Paperback Oxford English Dictionary (Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press, 2012).

  weight of a bad decision isn’t just metaphorical: Martin V. Day and D. Ramona Bobocel, “The Weight of a Guilty Conscience: Subjective Body Weight as an Embodiment of Guilt,”PLoS ONE 8, no. 7 (July 2013), doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0069546.

  what researchers call our “should-self”: Max. H. Bazerman, Ann E. Tenbrunsel, and Kimberly Wade-Benzoni, “Negotiating with Yourself and Losing: Making Decisions with Competing Internal Preferences,” Academy of Management Review 23, no. 2 (April 1, 1998): 225–241, doi: 10.5465/amr.1998.533224.

  in our everyday swirl of thoughts: The Dhammapada, introduction and translation by Eknath Easwaran (Tomales, CA: Nilgiri Press, 2007), 65–66.

  a chariot being driven by five horses: Katha Upanishad, Third Valli, 3–6, from The Upanishads, trans. Vernon Katz and Thomas Egenes (New York: Tarcher Perigee, 2015), 55–57.

  Shaolin monks are a wonderful example: Elliot Figueira, “How Shaolin Monks Develop Their Mental and Physical Mastery,” BBN, accessed November 12, 2019, https://www.bbncommunity.com/how-shaolin-monks-develop-their-mental-and-physical-mastery/.

  secured a thermal stimulator to their wrists: Daniel Goleman and Richard J. Davidson, Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain, and Body (New York: Penguin Random House, 2017).

  decided to busk outside a DC subway station: Gene Weingarten, “Pearls Before Breakfast: Can One of the Nation’s Great Musicians Cut Through the Fog of a D.C. Rush Hour? Let’s Find Out,” Washington Post, April 8, 2007, https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/pearls-before-breakfast-can-one-of-the-nations-great-musicians-cut-through-the-fog-of-a-dc-rush-hour-lets-find-out/2014/09/23/8a6d46da-4331-11e4-b47c-f5889e061e5f_story.html.

  asked them to locate specific items: Gary Lupyan and Daniel Swingley, “Self-Directed Speech Affects Visual Search Performance,” Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology (June 1, 2012), doi: 10.1080/17470218.2011.647039.

  “helps you clarify your thoughts”: Linda Sapadin, “Talking to Yourself: A Sign of Sanity,” Psych Central, October 2, 2018, https://psychcentral.com/blog/talking-to-yourself-a-sign-of-sanity/.

  writing their “deepest thoughts and feelings”: James W. Pennebaker and Janel D. Seagal, “Forming a Story: The Health Benefits of Narrative,” Journal of Clinical Psychology 55, no. 10 (1999): 1243–1254.

  Krysta MacGray was terrified of flying: www.krystamacgray.com and personal interview, July 10, 2019.

  “how to be present to the moment”: Richard Rohr, “Living in the Now: Practicing Presence,” Center for Action and Comtemplation, November 24, 2017, https://cac.org/practicing-presence-2017-11-24/.

  “be here now”: Ram Dass, Be Here Now (New York: Harmony, 1978).

  The Gita defines detachment: Verses 2.48 and 12.12 from the Bhagavad Gita, introduction and translation by Eknath Easwaran (Tomales, CA: Nilgiri Press, 2007), 94, 208.

  “Detachment is not that you own nothing”: This quote is attributed to Alī Ibn Abi Talib, the cousin and son-in-law of Muhammad, the last prophet of Islam.

  fasted for 423 days: Bhavika Jain, “Jain Monk Completes 423 Days of Fasting,” Times of India, November 1, 2015, http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/49616061.cms?utm_source=contentofinterest&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=cppst.

  Japanese style of self-mummification: Krissy Howard, “The Japanese Monks Who Mummified Themselves While Still Alive,” All That’s Interesting, October 25, 2016, https://allthatsinteresting.com/sokushinbutsu.

  ran a mile in 3:59.4 minutes: “Sir Roger Bannister: First Person to Run a Mile in Under Four Minutes Dies at 88,” BBC, March 4, 2018, https://www.bbc.com/sport/athletics/43273249.

  “If you ruminate on sadness and negativity”: Matthieu Ricard, interview by Jay Shetty, #FollowTheReader with Jay Shetty, HuffPost, October 10, 2016, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HZznrniwL8&feature=youtu.be.

  Cultivate buddhi: Jayaram V, “The Seven Fundamental Teachings of the Bhagavad-Gita,” Hinduwebsite.com, accessed January 22, 2020, https://www.hinduwebsite.com/seventeachings.asp.

  EIGHT: EGO

  They are forever free: Verse 2.71 from the Bhagavad Gita, introduction and translation by Eknath Easwaran (Tomales, CA: Nilgri Press, 2007), 97.

  distinction between the ego and the false ego: Verses 7.4 and 16.18 from The Bhagavad Gita, introduction and translation by Eknath Easwaran (Tomales, CA: Nilgiri Press, 2007), 152, 240.

  “Pride of wealth destroys wealth”: Some sources attribute this to commentaries on the Sama Veda.

  “the most damaging fall for the soul”: Dennis Okholm, Dangerous Passions, Deadly Sins: Learning from the Psychology of Ancient Monks (Grand Rapids, MI: Brazos Press, 2014), 161.

  “Perfect yogis are they who”: Verse 6.32 from A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, Bhagavad Gita As It Is (The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International, Inc.), https://apps.apple.com/us/app/bhagavad-gita-as-it-is/id1080562426.

  In her popular TED Talk: Julia Galef, “Why You Think You’re Right Even If You’re Wrong,” TEDx PSU, February 2016, https://www.ted.com/talks/julia_galef_why_you_think_you_re_right_even_if_you_re_wrong/transcript#t-68800.

  cofounder of Netflix, offered to sell: Ken Auletta, “Outside the Box: Netflix and the Future of Television,” New Yorker, January 26, 2014, https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/02/03/outside-the-box-2; Paul R. LaMonica, “Netflix Joins the Exclusive $100 Billion Club,” CNN, July 23, 2018, https://money.cnn.com/2018/01/23/investing/netflix-100-billion-market-value/index.html.

  who had come to inquire about Zen: Osho, A Bird on the Wing: Zen Anecdotes for Everyday Life (India: Osho Media International, 2013).

  “Remember you are a man”: Mary Beard, The Roman Triumph (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2009).

  In an interview, Robert Downey Jr.: Robert Downey Jr., interview, Cambridge Union, December 19, 2014, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rmpysp5mWlg.

  he is like a firefly: Srimad-Bhagavatam, The Summum Bonum, 14.9-10.

  Mary Johnson’s son, Laramiun Byrd: Steve Hartman, “Love Thy Neighbor: Son’s Killer Moves in Next Door,” CBS News, June 8, 2011, https://www.cbsnews.com/news/love-thy-neighbor-sons-killer-moves-next-door/; “Woman Shows Incredible Mercy as Her Son
’s Killer Moves In Next Door,” Daily Mail, June 8, 2011, https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2000704/Woman-shows-incredible-mercy-sons-killer-moves-door.html; “Mary Johnson and Oshea Israel,” The Forgiveness Project, accessed November 12, 2019, https://www.theforgivenessproject.com/stories/mary-johnson-oshea-israel/.

  “What belongs to you today”: Kamlesh J. Wadher, Nature’s Science and Secrets of Success (India: Educreation Publishing, 2016); Verse 2.14 from the Bhagavad Gita, introduction and translation by Eknath Easwaran (Tomales, CA: Nilgiri Press, 2007), 90.

  “Being literally undone by failure”: Thomas Moore, Care of the Soul: A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life (New York: Harper Perennial, 1992), 197.

  Sara Blakely wanted to go to law school: Sarah Lewis, The Rise: Creativity, the Gift of Failure, and the Search for Mastery (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2014), 111; “Spanx Startup Story,” Fundable, accessed November 12, 2019, https://www.fundable.com/learn/startup-stories/spanx.

  Olympic swimming gold medalist: “Goal Setting Activities of Olympic Athletes (And What They Can Teach the Rest of Us),” Develop Good Habits, September 30, 2019, https://www.developgoodhabits.com/goal-setting-activities/.

  a children’s rights activist: Rajesh Viswanathan, “Children Should Become Their Own Voices,” ParentCircle, accessed November 12, 2019, https://www.parentcircle.com/article/children-should-become-their-own-voices/.

  MEDITATION: VISUALIZE

  people who imagined contracting a muscle: Vinoth K. Ranganathan, Vlodek Siemionow, Jing Z. Liu, Vinod Sahgal, and Guang H. Yue, “From Mental Power to Muscle Power—Gaining Strength by Using the Mind,” Neuropsychologia 42, no. 7 (2004): 944–956, doi: 10.1016/j.neuropsychologia.2003.11.018.

  NINE: GRATITUDE

  defines gratitude as the feeling of appreciation: “What Is Gratitude?” A Network for Grateful Living, accessed November 12, 2019, https://gratefulness.org/resource/what-is-gratitude/.

  keep journals during the day: Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough, “Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 84, no. 2 (2003): 377–389, doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.84.2.377.

  we truly can’t focus on positive and negative: Alex Korb, “The Grateful Brain: The Neuroscience of Giving Thanks,” Psychology Today, November 20, 2012, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/prefrontal-nudity/201211/the-grateful-brain.

  veterans with high levels of gratitude: Todd B. Kashdan, Gitendra Uswatte, and Terri Julian, “Gratitude and Hedonic and Eudaimonic Well-Being in Vietnam War Veterans,” Behaviour Research and Therapy 44, no. 2 (February 2006): 177–199, doi: 10.1016/j.brat.2005.01.005.

  “If [thankfulness] were a drug”: Mikaela Conley, “Thankfulness Linked to Positive Changes in Brain and Body,” ABC News, November 23, 2011, https://abcnews.go.com/Health/science-thankfulness/story?id=15008148.

  “Monks. You should train yourselves”: Samyutta Nikaya, Sutta Pitaka, 20.21.

  In one ritual observance: Joanna Macy, World as Lover, World as Self: Courage for Global Justice and Ecological Renewal (Berkeley, CA: Parallax Press, 2007), 78–83.

  “the mind of poverty”: Roshi Joan Halifax, “Practicing Gratefulness by Roshi Joan Halifax,” Upaya Institute and Zen Center, October 18, 2017, https://www.upaya.org/2017/10/practicing-gratefulness-by-roshi-joan-halifax/.

  Brian Acton exemplifies: Bill Murphy Jr., “Facebook and Twitter Turned Him Down. Now He’s Worth $4 Billion,” Inc., accessed November 13, 2019, https://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/facebook-and-twitter-turned-him-down-now-hes-worth-4-billion.html; Brian Acton (@brianacton), Twitter post, May 23, 2009, https://twitter.com/brianacton/status/1895942068; Brian Acton (@brianacton), Twitter post, August 3, 2009, https://twitter.com/brianacton/status/3109544383.

  “When one door of happiness closes”: “Helen Keller,” Biography, accessed November 13, 2019, https://www.biography.com/activist/helen-keller; Helen Keller, We Bereaved (New York: L. Fulenwider, 1929).

  “People usually think that gratitude”: Rob Sidon, “The Gospel of Gratitude According to David Steindl-Rast,” Common Ground, November 2017, 42–49, http://onlinedigitaleditions2.com/commonground/archive/web-11-2017/.

  “Be kinder to yourself”: Pema Chödrön, Practicing Peace in Times of War (Boston: Shambhala, 2007).

  whether kindness is contagious: James H. Fowler and Nicholas A. Christakis, “Cooperative Behavior Cascades in Human Social Networks,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 107, no. 12 (March 23, 2010): 5334–5338, doi: 10.1073/pnas.0913149107.

  people on the Chicago commuter: Nicholas Epley and Juliana Schroeder, “Mistakenly Seeking Solitude,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 143, no. 5 (October 2014): 1980–1999, doi: 10.1037/a0037323.

  volunteering can result in lower feelings of depression: Caroline E. Jenkinson, Andy P. Dickens, Kerry Jones, Jo Thompson-Coon, Rod S. Taylor, Morwenna Rogers, Clare L. Bambra, Iain Lang, and Suzanne H. Richards, “Is Volunteering a Public Health Intervention? A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of the Health and Survival of Volunteers,” BMG Public Health 13, no. 773 (August 23, 2013), doi: 10.1186/1471-2458-13-773.

  TEN: RELATIONSHIPS

  “Every person”: Thich Nhat Hanh, How to Love (Berkeley, CA: Parallax Press, 2014).

  longevity was tied to several aspects of community: Dan Buettner, “Power 9: Reverse Engineering Longevity,” Blue Zones, accessed November 13, 2019, https://www.bluezones.com/2016/11/power-9/.

  a field study of military leadership in Iraq: Michael D. Matthews, “The 3 C’s of Trust: The Core Elements of Trust Are Competence, Character, and Caring,” Psychology Today, May 3, 2016, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/head-strong/201605/the-3-c-s-trust.

  “The golden way is to be friends with the world”: K. S. Baharati, Encyclopaedia of Gandhian Thought (India: Anmol Publications, 2006).

  “People come into your life”: Jean Dominique Martin, “People Come Into Your Life for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime,” accessed November 14, 2019, http://youmeandspirit.blogspot.com/2009/08/ebb-and-flow.html.

  couples get stuck in ongoing conflict: John Gottman, “John Gottman on Trust and Betrayal,” Greater Good Magazine, October 29, 2011, https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/john_gottman_on_trust_and_betrayal.

  people are dishonest: Bella M. DePaulo, Deborah A. Kashy, Susan E. Kirkendol, Melissa M. Wyer, and Jennifer A. Epstein, “Lying in Everyday Life,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 70, no. 5 (June 1996): 979–995, doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.70.5.979.

  we lie to impress: Bella DePaolo, The Lies We Tell and the Clues We Miss: Professional Papers (CreateSpace, 2009).

  trust people we find attractive: Dawn Dorsey, “Rice Study Suggests People Are More Trusting of Attractive Strangers,” Rice University, September 21, 2006, https://news.rice.edu/2006/09/21/rice-study-suggests-people-are-more-trusting-of-attractive-strangers/.

  “We found that attractive subjects gain a ‘beauty premium’ ”: Dawn Dorsey, “Rice Study Suggests People Are More Trusting of Attractive Strangers,” Rice News, September 21, 2006, http://news.rice.edu/2006/09/21/rice-study-suggests-people-are-more-trusting-of-attractive-strangers/.

  a blank piece of paper: Don Meyer, “Fox-Hole Test,” CoachMeyer.com, accessed November 13, 2019, https://www.coachmeyer.com/Information/Players_Corner/Fox%20Hole%20Test.pdf.

  “Celibacy by conscious choice”: www.malamadrone.com and personal interview, September 7, 2019.

  “two sides of man’s being alone”: Paul Tillich, The Eternal Now (New York: Scribner, 1963).

  the impact of mothers’ time: Melissa A. Milke, Kei M. Nomaguchi, and Kathleen E. Denny, “Does the Amount of Time Mothers Spend with Children or Adolescents Matter?” Journal of Marriage and Family 77, no. 2 (April 2015): 355–372, doi: 10.1111/jomf.12170.

  six loving exchanges: Sri Upadesamrta: The Ambrosial Advice of Sri Rupa Gosvami (India: Gaudiya Vedanta Publicati
ons, 2003), https://archive.org/details/upadesamrta/page/n1.

  Harvard Grant Study: Joshua Wolf Shenk, “What Makes Us Happy? Is There a Formula—Some Mix of Love, Work, and Psychological Adaptation—for a Good Life?” Atlantic, June 2009, https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/06/what-makes-us-happy/307439/.

  “we get crushes on others”: Thich Nhat Hanh, How to Love (Berkeley, CA: Parallax Press, 2014).

  According to Massive Attack: Massive Attack, “Teardrop,” Mezzanine, Circa/Virgin, April 27, 1998; Dan in Real Life, directed by Peter Hedges, Touchstone Pictures, Focus Features, and Jon Shestack Productions, 2007.

  “until you heal the wounds of your past”: IyanlaVanzant, “How to Heal the Wounds of Your Past,” Oprah’s Life Class, October 11, 2011, http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/iyanla-vanzant-how-to-heal-the-wounds-of-your-past.

  couples strengthen their bonds: Arthur Aron, Christina C. Norman, Elaine N. Aron, Colin McKenna, and Richard E. Heyman, “Couples’ Shared Participation in Novel and Arousing Activities and Experienced Relationship Quality,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 78, no. 2 (2000): 273–84, doi: 10.1037//0022-3514.78.2.273.

  we often mistake attachment for love: Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo, “The Difference Between Genuine Love and Attachment,” accessed November 13, 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kUoTS3Yo4g.

  followed incoming college freshmen: Sanjay Srivastava, Maya Tamir, Kelly M. McGonigal, Oliver P. John, and James J. Gross, “The Social Costs of Emotional Suppression: A Prospective Study of the Transition to College,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 96, no. 4 (August 22, 2014): 883–897, doi: 10.1037/a0014755.

  ELEVEN: SERVICE

  “The ignorant work for their own profit”: Verse 3.25 from The Bhagavad Gita, introduction and translation by Eknath Easwaran (Tomales, CA: Nilgiri Press, 2007), 107.