The Cowboy's Choice

by Janalyn Knight

  She evaluated her tummy. It had settled some and she was actually hungry. "Yes, that sounds wonderful."

  When the waitress returned with water glasses, he ordered a bottle of cabernet sauvignon. He smiled, his gaze sweeping over her, as if he couldn't get enough.

  When their wine came, their waitress poured them each a glass and Adam raised his to her. "To tonight, and making new memories together."

  Her breath hitched. Did she dare make new memories with him? Would her secret—her agonizing past—be safe? She held her glass to his. This was dangerous ground, but as she looked at the handsome, gentle man across from her, she couldn't bring herself to regret it.

  While they ate, with voice lowered, Adam told her of some of the funny cases that had come through the ER. A vibrating pleasure ring stuck on a man's engorged penis. And, yes, those little blue pills can really cause a trip to the emergency room.

  Trying not to laugh, she enjoyed his stories, and even more, the look of joy on his face as he spoke of his work.

  He said, "Tell me about your job back in San Diego."

  After a long swallow of wine, she set her knife and fork on the edge of her plate. "I was a trial attorney for criminal cases. As exciting as that was, occasionally, it made me unhappy. I was good at it, and if the prosecutor wasn't on the ball, sometimes my clients got away with murder, literally."

  She took another sip of wine, knowing many people would judge her for this. "Of course, I wouldn't know if they were guilty or not when I took a case. It was only after—when I'd hired investigators and obtained all the evidence—that I would see the whole picture. Then it was pretty clear as to whether I was defending an innocent person or not. Either way, I had to defend my client to the best of my ability, with the hope that the prosecutor would do his or her job better."

  Adam nodded. "That couldn't have been easy."

  "No, it wasn't, but it's one of the things you need to accept if you're a defense attorney. Your client deserves the best defense in your power to give him, despite his innocence or guilt."

  He smiled. "Well, I hope the pay was worth it, at least."

  "It paid well. Seeing the variety of cases Dad handled and the small, in comparison, fees he charged is strange. He even did quite a bit of pro bono work, especially for young mothers. In fact, I've gotten involved with a battered women's shelter here in town where he did a lot of his pro bono work. In San Diego, I volunteered my time at a rape crisis center and battered women's shelter, so I understand the needs of these women." Her hand tightened on the stem of her glass, swallowing hard at a terrible memory.

  Chris Kingsley had been smooth—giving no hint of his cruel nature for months. After losing her daughter and suffering the crippling guilt that followed, having a man like Chris in her life seemed like a God-send. Lara had moved in with him and he made all of the decisions, handled their money, even told her how to dress. He called her every couple of hours to check on her and never left her side when he got home from work.

  However, he expected her undivided attention and, over time, her grades suffered so much that her college scholarship was in jeopardy. After fixing Chris’s favorite dinner one evening, she told him how she’d fallen behind in school and that she would be spending several hours each night from then on doing school work. He exploded, raping her and beating her so badly she’d lost consciousness. She found he’d gone out when she woke and she called 911.

  She spent two weeks in the hospital with a broken arm and internal injuries. She’d never been able to trust enough to date a man again. Lara exhaled and pushed the memory back where it always lurked.

  Unaware of her troubled thoughts, Adam continued, "Many of those battered women come through the ER. Unfortunately, they seldom press charges because of fear of the perpetrator. It's heartbreaking."

  He understood. What those women faced in filing charges took incredible courage. The counseling they received at the center sometimes helped them follow through with taking legal action against their aggressor. "I just took on a big responsibility as program manager of the new clinic they're setting up at the shelter here in Ft. Stockton. As you're aware, the women often come with injuries and health problems, and their children need regular medical care as well. The clinic will also serve the low-income families in the surrounding community."

  Peering over the rim of his glass, he took a swallow of wine. "So, where are you at in the planning?"

  "We have the idea, and we have the space. Our grant person applied for grants last year, and we should hear back soon on those."

  "So, at the beginning, really. Do you have a medical advisor yet?"

  "Not per se, but we do have an RN who will work at the clinic when we open it."

  He poured more wine for himself and raised the bottle. "Can I top you off?"

  She held out her glass.

  After pouring her wine, he said, "What if I volunteered as your medical advisor?"

  She sucked in her bottom lip. That would mean working with him. Her pulse picked up. The longer she was with him, the less resistance she had to the way he affected her. But, having a medical advisor would be a fantastic benefit for the clinic. "Adam, that's a generous offer. Thank you. I'll bring it to the board and get back to you."

  He shrugged. "I just want to do something to make a difference for the women I see week after week. Understanding more about the shelter and its services might help me get them out of an abusive situation. And knowing that they'll receive medical care if they do leave their relationship, will be a relief."

  She leaned toward him, her lips parted. He was a man worthy of trust and always had been. It was her faith that was lacking. She had no belief in forgiveness. "You're a good man, Adam Govain."

  He reached for her hand. "I'm looking forward to working with you."

  The pressure of his fingers set her belly fluttering. She wanted more than this single touch. Fighting her attraction was hopeless. It wasn't just his body that made him irresistible to her. It was his beautiful soul. Sighing, she clasped his hand. "We'll make a great team."

  After dinner, he drove her home and walked her to her door. As she got out her keys, he leaned his shoulder against the wall. "Invite me in, Lara."

  She met his gaze. He stood there, so confident, so relaxed, so unbelievably handsome. Oh, hell. "Won't you come in, Adam?"

  He grinned and pushed off the wall. "I'd love to."

  Flipping on lights as they walked, she said, "How about wine? I have a pinot noir that would be nice tonight."

  "Sure." He followed her into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, his hands in his pockets.

  She glanced at him as she took glasses from the cabinet. His eyes watched her every move. Wetting her lips, she poured them each a glass. Her body revved in anticipation. But, of what? How could there be a future for them if she could never be fully honest? When she handed him the glass, his fingers grazed hers and a jolt of heat shot through her.

  He smiled lazily, and she was lost.

  Tingling all over, she said, "Let's go to the living room."

  He followed her to the couch and sat down next to her, raising his glass, his eyes warm—his feelings for her bared. "To tonight."

  Her heart slammed against her chest. What did he mean by that? Tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth, she tapped her glass to his.

  He grinned and took a swallow. "Lara, I don't bite."

  Letting out her breath, she sipped her wine. She was being an idiot. "I know that." With a shaky smile, she said, "I'm a little—no, a lot—out of practice at this."

  He took her hand and squeezed it. “There is no this, there's just us. Okay?"

  She nodded. "Right."

  He continued to hold her hand. With only a lamp lighting the room, shadows created a warm, comfortable space around them. After another drink of wine, he let go of her hand and slid his arm around her shoulders, encouraging her to move closer to him.

  Her mouth went dry. A flush of desire swept through h
er.

  He pulled her gently into his chest and kissed the top of her head. "I've wanted to do this since I first saw you. I'll protect you, Lara." Setting his glass down, he tilted her chin so that she met his gaze. "I want to be your safe place now."

  Her heart clenched with pain, sadness, but most of all regret. She blinked her eyes which threatened to overflow. He was the last person on earth who could fill that role.

  "I won't pressure you." He pulled her against him again, running his fingertips slowly up and down her arm. Picking up his wine, he relaxed against the back of the couch.

  The thing was, she did feel safe. At least, as long as she forgot her secret. She'd never felt more protected than when she was with Adam. She was a screwed-up mess, and had been for years. Sipping her wine, she leaned into him, her body humming in response to his caress and to what his gaze had offered her.

  He finished his wine and set the glass on the table. "I'm sure you'd like to go to bed. Thanks for inviting me in." He grinned. "Not that you had much choice."

  She smiled. "You're a persuasive guy."

  He stood and held out a hand to help her up. "Thank you for agreeing to dinner. I know I've been persistent. But then, you know me, I go after what I want." Drawing her a step closer, he whispered, "And I want you ... no, I need you, Lara."

  Standing so near, hearing those words, her resistance caved like a hollow shell. She raised her hand to his cheek, looked into his eyes and let him see her, opening the window into her pain the tiniest crack. "I've missed you, Adam."

  He whisked her into his arms. "I never dreamed I'd see you again."

  She slipped her arms around his neck. "I thought I'd lost you. But you're here."

  He eased her back and looked into her eyes. "I'm here, baby. I'll always be here for you." Cradling her head in his hands, he lowered his lips to hers.

  His gentleness aroused her more than a lust-filled kiss. He made her hunger for him—for more. She kissed him back, her tongue dancing with his.

  He moaned and slid his hand to her butt, pulling her closer.

  She clasped his face, tracing his lips with the tip of her tongue, then dipping inside. Teasing him, she nipped his lip and laid soft kisses along his neck, drawing him down so that she could whisper in his ear. "Thank you for dinner tonight. And, for caring for me." Her feelings too strong—too much—she placed a last kiss behind his ear, and stepped back.

  He smiled, breathing quickly, no longer the in-control Adam who had strolled through her door. "I'll call you, Lara." Drawing her fingers up for a final kiss, he walked out the door.

  She sighed, still standing in the spot where he'd left her. She was well and truly in it now.

  Chapter Six

  ADAM LEFT LARA'S HOUSE, burning with an urgent need to possess her. Leaving her after that one kiss had been nearly impossible. Only knowing that she wasn't ready for more had given him the strength to turn away. That she had returned his kiss, had let down the barrier that protected her just a little, would have to be enough, at least for now.

  As he drove home, he yanked at his pants leg, giving more room at his crotch. Damn, she made him hard. That hadn't changed. Sleep tonight wouldn't come easily. He went hot at the thought of her kiss—her tongue searching his mouth. She knew what he liked. Had always known. He'd wanted to lift her into his arms and carry her to the bedroom. Make love to her until sunrise came through the window. If he gave her time—took it slow—he prayed that would happen.

  Back at his house, he stripped and put on swim trunks, needing to expend the energy that burned inside him. He dove into the pool, the cold water driving thoughts of Lara from his head. Lap after lap he sliced through the water, his body an engine propelling him swiftly from one end to the other. After twenty-five laps, he stopped at the edge, gasping and free of the urge to return to Lara and coerce her into making love to him.

  He climbed out and dried off. Spent, he walked in the house and made a drink. Returning to the dark patio, he slumped in a chair and let the bourbon slide down his throat, its heat dropping into his stomach, warming him, as his love for Lara warmed his heart. What a void his life had been before she returned to Ft. Stockton. She’d cracked his life wide open. Exposed it for the grey, loveless existence it was. No way could he go back to living that way. He had to break into Lara's safe place and show her that she could rely on him—love him—instead.

  THE NEXT DAY, HE FREQUENTLY lost focus as he worked through his patient load. Many cases that came through the small-town ER weren't exactly emergencies but things like broken legs, which didn't tax his skills. At those times, no sooner was his task done than his mind turned to Lara—how she'd felt in his arms, the feel of her taut butt under his fingers, her soft lips on his mouth. No woman had ever affected him like this. His twelve-hour shift dragged on until he was finally able to leave at seven.

  Eve had invited him for dinner at the ranch, but he'd declined, unable to face sitting still and making small talk when all he could do was think of Lara. Caleb kept him stocked with beef, so when Adam got home, he put a T-bone on the grill. Adding spices to the steak, he curled his toes, enjoying the cool slate floor of the patio. Though it was fall, the temperatures still stayed in the eighties most days. In West Texas there were really only two seasons—a little bit of winter and a whole lot of summer.

  Later, after changing to his swim trunks, he flipped the meat over, more relaxed than he'd been all day. Taking his drink to the table, he flopped in the chair beside it and dialed Lara.

  His heart did a flip flop when she answered. He’d yearned to hear her voice all day. If only she were with him instead of on the other end of the phone. He settled further into his chair. "How are you?"

  "I'm enjoying a glass of wine with my feet kicked up on the coffee table. Now that I'm starting to get a handle on my dad's case load, I don't need to stay late at the office very often anymore."

  Her contented, low-pitched voice strummed his nerves, setting them humming. Just speaking with her turned him on. "I'm glad. It can't have been easy for you." He swallowed more bourbon, easing further down in his chair.

  She paused. "No, it wasn't, and seeing my mother so torn up is even harder. I'm not sure how to help her." Her voice uneven, she continued. "I see her every couple of days, and I've told her I'm here if she wants to talk. Mostly she doesn't."

  God, he hated it that Lara was hurting, and he was here and she was there. "The same goes for you. I'm here if you want to talk. For anything you need."

  "Thank you," she said quietly.

  She seemed no closer to confiding in him. "Why don't you come for dinner tomorrow night? Wear your swim suit. I'll put something on the grill, and we'll cool off in the pool."

  Again, she paused. A full twenty seconds later, she said, "What can I bring?"

  He laughed, almost giddy at the thought of having her here, alone with him at his home. "Not a thing." And it was true. Lara Cole was all he needed.

  "Any particular time?"

  He grinned. Was now too soon? "How about seven forty-five?" Thank God she'd agreed to come. He ate quickly and changed into street clothes again, heading to the grocery store for tomorrow’s dinner ingredients. Lara's slight figure told him that she usually ate light, so he returned home with items to make something he hoped would appeal to her tastes. Now he had to make it through another whole day before he could see her again.

  They'd shared one kiss. He'd make sure they took another step toward intimacy before she left at the end of the night. Eventually, she would tell him what hurt her. He would break down her barrier, one brick at a time.

  After putting on a pair of shorts, he mixed himself a drink and sat on the patio. Tomorrow night, he wanted more than a single kiss. Would Lara want that too? An onslaught of memories of Lara in a bikini hit him. Her ripe young body had given meaning to the word curve. The weight of her full breasts had strained the strings of the top that tied behind her neck. Did she still wear a bikini? God, he hoped so. His heart kic
ked up its beat as he envisioned her wearing one now. He licked his lips and took a last swallow of bourbon before heading into the kitchen to prep dinner for tomorrow.

  WHEN THE DOORBELL RANG the following evening, Adam threw his tea towel on the counter and went to answer the door, eager to set eyes on Lara. He opened it to a vision from his dreams. She stood before him in cut offs and a t-shirt. Was that a bikini tied around her neck? A backpack hung from one shoulder and her long, dark curls fell down her back. "Come in. Dinner's ready to go on the grill. I hope you're hungry." He couldn't take his eyes from her.

  She smiled. "I am," and stepped inside.

  He walked behind her, taken back thirteen years, as her sexy ass swayed in her denim short-shorts, her long, beautifully-shaped legs snagging his gaze. Damn, she was still hot as hell.

  "Take a left up ahead," he said, "Let me get you some wine. I opened a bottle of Chardonnay in the kitchen.” After pouring two glasses, he took the bag of shrimp out of the fridge and dumped the marinade in the sink. Quickly adding the ingredients to the kabob sticks, he handed Lara a glass of wine and led her to the patio.

  She walked into the yard and stood on the slate walkway that edged the pool. "Adam, this place is gorgeous, and what a wonderful pool. I love the cascading waterfall. It sounds lovely."

  He talked as he laid the kabobs on the fire. "I spend a lot of time out here. It's relaxing, though I feel guilty about the amount of water it takes to keep everything green. Walking on grass is such a luxury. If you remember, everything at the ranch was xeriscaped, using very little water. That's what my parents believe in."

  "Do you care for all of this yourself or do you have help?"

  "I have a yard man and a pool man. That way I can spend my time actually enjoying myself out here." Closing the lid on the grill, he walked out to stand beside her. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. The kebobs don't take long to cook." He wanted to slip his arm around her shoulders and pull her close. Even more, he wanted to nuzzle her neck and nip her behind that perfect little ear the way he knew drove her wild. He moved a little closer.