The Cowboy's Choice

by Janalyn Knight

  She didn't seem to mind his nearness and smiled up at him as she said, "I heard back from the board. They're thrilled with your offer to become our Medical Advisor. Thanks again for that, Adam."

  He touched her arm, his fingers buzzing at the contact. "That's great. I'd love to get my hands on a set of plans for the clinic space. Can you make that happen?"

  Her eyes dilated. Lips parting, she leaned toward him a fraction. "I think so. I'll see what I can do."

  He wasn't misreading. She wanted him, too. Taking her hand, he pulled her to him. Wrapping his arms around her, he hugged her gently, kissing the top of her head. "I'm glad you came tonight, Lara. Having you here with me is incredible." Her body was warm and soft, and he wanted more than just this, but knew he needed to go slow. Sighing, he released her. One brick at a time.

  She stepped back, biting her lip. "I'm happy to be here." Her gaze, less guarded than before, said she was.

  He smiled. "Come sit with me. I need to baste dinner or they won't taste right." He'd made a garlic oriental marinade spiked with fresh squeezed orange juice to brush the kabobs with.

  As he tended to their meal, she asked, "How are your mom and dad?"

  "I don't know. I skipped dinner at the ranch this week. I couldn't get you off my mind."

  A pink flush rose up her neck, and she looked at her wine glass, twirling the stem. "I confess, I've had the same problem."

  His pulse beat faster at her admission, and he kept up a light conversation as he basted the skewers. Taking the kabobs off the grill a few minutes later, he placed them on a platter and set them on the center of the table. After bringing the salad and bottle of wine out, he sat down beside her. Raising his glass, he said, "To us."

  Her eyes widened, but she tapped his glass. "To us."

  Her words, spoken quietly but with surety, gave him confidence that she had relaxed—opened herself more. His chest hardened as he thought of kissing her again. Tonight, he hoped she lowered her guard. That she trusted him enough to let him in. He handed her the plate of kabobs. "Help yourself. I've cooked these before, and they're simple, but delicious. It's only shrimp, pineapple and green pepper but the sauce infuses it with a tangy garlicy flavor."

  She took one then added some salad to her plate. "So, do you eat out a lot or cook like this for yourself?" Her gaze, warm and interested, made him want to lean in and kiss her full lips. He needed her near him. Why hadn't he put the place settings side by side?

  He took two kabobs and some salad and then topped off their wine. "It depends. When I'm working, I usually stop and pick dinner up, or microwave something. When I'm off, many times I'll cook." He smiled, putting all his powers of persuasion in his eyes. "You need to come over more often. I hate cooking for one."

  She smiled, holding his gaze an extra beat. "I have the same problem. Cooking for just one person, it's like, why bother? Although, eating out can really add on the calories."

  "Pft. Like you have to worry." His eyes let her know he liked what he saw.

  Her tongue flitted across her lip as she looked down.

  Damn, he wanted to pull her on his lap and kiss that gorgeous mouth. His hand tightened on his glass as he took a swallow of wine. He scraped the food off his skewer and picked up a shrimp, chomping it in half to distract himself.

  His phone rang. Dammit! Demi had been relentless today, after leaving him alone for days. He declined the call, then pulled up her contact and blocked her number, which he should have done sooner, but he'd been too busy to take the time.

  Lara asked, "Problem?"

  He frowned. "Not anymore."

  Thankfully, she talked about work and asked him about the ER, and soon they'd finished dinner.

  As he stood to clear the table, she said, "Let me help."

  At the sink, when her arm brushed his, tingles raced across his chest. He took her shoulders, turning her to him, looking into her eyes. Lowering his mouth to hers, he placed a tender kiss on her lips, slid down to her slender throat and kissed her in the hollow there. He didn't want to stop, he itched to remove her clothes, take her in his arms and carry her to his bed.

  She clasped his face then kissed him gently. "I'm ready for that swim."

  Heart racing, it was all he could do to let her go. He took her hand, "Come on then. I’ll finish these later."

  On the patio, he stripped off his t-shirt and couldn't help himself. His gaze locked on Lara as she pulled her shirt over her head and stepped out of her shorts, exposing a bright turquoise bikini which set off her tanned skin and dark hair beautifully. She must have gotten lots of sun in California. "You’re beautiful."

  She smiled. "Thanks. How deep is the pool?"

  Unable to take his eyes off her, he said, "Three feet on this side, ten feet on the deep end." Dammit, he was getting hard and he couldn't hide it in a swimsuit. "Race you." He ran to the far side and dove in, Lara right behind him.

  As he popped up to the surface, her head appeared a few feet away. He laughed, "Still can't turn down a challenge, huh?"

  She grinned, "No way, buster." Slicking her hair back, treading water, she looked at him.

  He swam to her, gazing into her eyes. "How do you like my pool?"

  She moved her hands to his shoulders, "Very nice."

  Slipping his hands around her waist, he pulled her to him. "I love it."

  Her lips parted and she blinked slowly, staring up at him.

  He brushed his lips to hers. Her mouth opened to his kiss, warm and welcoming. He explored her, tasted her, until she took control, teasing his lips with soft flicks of her tongue as he kept them afloat. Goosebumps blew up all over him. He drew her thighs around his waist, hard now and wanting her body pressing against him. She locked her legs, squeezing him and he thrust his pelvis forward without thinking.

  She gasped.

  He took her face in his hands, his kiss coaxing, confident as he poured everything he had into it. Let me in. You're safe with me.

  She kissed him back, slipping her arms around his neck, her lips hungry, demanding.

  Yes. Yes, Lara. He desperately wanted to make love to her, but even more than that, he needed her to know he loved her. He pulled back. Her lips were lush and red from kissing him. "I love you. I never stopped loving you. You can trust me." He cupped her face in his hand. "I'll take care of you."

  She looked into his eyes, and with the smallest of smiles, she nodded and drew him in for a gentle kiss.

  He said, "Come on," and swam for the shallow end. The splash of her strokes followed him. When he got to the towels, he smiled and tossed her one. "Hurry."

  She raised her brows, but complied, first wringing her hair dry in the towel, then drying her body off.

  He stopped her. "We'll just get wet again."

  She grinned. "What?"

  He jogged to his bathroom, Lara in tow. Shutting the door, he went into the huge tile shower and turned on the big square shower head full blast, setting the temperature to warm. He'd be heating up Lara plenty. Grinning at her, he tugged down his swim trunks. "Last one in's a rotten egg."

  Laughing, she ripped the bow from her top and unhooked the back, slinging it off. Down came the tiny bottoms and she stepped into the shower beside him. Bumping him with her hip, she said, "Scoot over. I'm cold."

  He cracked up. "I'll heat the water more, but I warn you, you'll be asking me to turn it down, girl."

  She laughed. "Really?"

  "For sure."

  "You never lacked for confidence, Govain."

  He grinned and pulled her to him, the water plastering their hair back, his cock hard. "Don't break my heart, babe. Kiss me." He rubbed his length against her and she leaned into him. He could smell her perfume in the shower's steam. Lifting her so that she was eye to eye to him, he kissed her deeply as she wrapped her legs around his waist. God, he wanted her. He reached for the condom in the soap dish and handed it to her. "Safety first."

  She smiled. "Thanks for remembering." Tearing open the package, she w
orked it on him, her hands shaking.

  Raising her higher, he slipped his tip to her opening. It was slick—ready for him. He looked into her eyes and kissed her softly. "I love you, Lara." Lowering her slowly, he filled her completely. Damn, she was tight.

  She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. He thrust his hips forward and she moaned. Grasping his face, she kissed him eagerly, nipping and sucking and dipping inside him.

  The sharp need of her kiss aroused him even more. He pushed her back against the wall and thrust into her. God, she was everything he'd dreamed she would be. Pulling out, he shoved into her again.

  Clasping his neck, she said, "I want you."

  His heart leapt. Fire shot through his limbs. He kissed her hard, thrusting his tongue deep as he pounded her with his hips, the water splashing chaotically off his back.

  "Adam," Lara's moan vibrated straight to his cock and she clutched him tight with her legs.

  He drove into her, his joy, his excitement growing. His muscles knotted, pressure building, the agony of pleasure almost more than he could stand.

  Lara suddenly lifted her head, sucking in a breath and calling his name. She contracted around him, spasming, and sending him over the edge.

  He burst in a bone-deep growl of pleasure, thrusting one, two more times, unleashing his love into her. Head thrown back, he held still, wanting the moment to last. Myriad feelings overwhelmed him. Intense love for the beautiful woman in his arms, an overpowering sense of loss because of the years that they'd been apart, and hope that Lara loved him now, as he loved her.

  A moment later, she slid her feet to the floor and grinned at him. "You've still got it, Govain." She took a wobbly step.

  He reached for her elbow. "Take it easy there, cowgirl."

  "Cowgirl?"

  "Yeah, you just rode your big stud."

  She laughed. "You'll never change."

  He handed her the shampoo while he grabbed the soap. "Nope."

  "I hope you have conditioner."

  "The shampoo is a conditioner. Does that count?"

  She sighed. "Oh, I'm in trouble. Without conditioner, combing this hair is impossible."

  He leaned in and kissed her, water splashing them both in the face. "I'll help. I used to be pretty good at that, if you'll remember." He'd loved brushing her hair and running the long strands through his fingers.

  Her smile gentle, she said, "I do remember that. Thanks."

  Later, as she dried her hair with a towel, he said, "Can you stay tonight?"

  Her eyes widened and a wariness came to her expression. "I shouldn't."

  When she didn't offer an explanation, he said, "I'll go get your bag." Despite the fact that she couldn't stay, his heart was so full, so happy, he stopped a moment in the living room, letting the feeling wash over him. He hadn't felt like this since he'd last made love to Lara. His life had come full circle. Grabbing her bag, he headed back to the woman he loved.

  She eyed his naked body as he walked up to her. "You're still the same—don't care if you have clothes on or not."

  He grinned. "Nope."

  She shook her head and smiled, opening her bag and taking out clean clothes.

  He threw on some shorts and a t-shirt and climbed up on the bed, scooting until his back was against the head board. "Come up here when you're done, and I'll comb your hair."

  A couple of minutes later, she settled between his spread legs.

  He kissed the top of her head and took her brush from her. "Just relax, babe. I've got this."

  She sighed. "I love it when you do my hair. You're so gentle. Combing out this mess is a pain in the butt, and I dread it. Thank you, Adam."

  He began at the back, taking a long lock in his hand. Starting at the bottom, he brushed the tangles out, slowly working his way to the scalp. The scent of her perfume filled his nostrils, turning him on as it always had. Lara didn't have a signature perfume, but had a way of choosing those that complimented her chemistry in a striking way. Strand after thick strand, he brushed his way through her hair. Winding the silky locks through his fingers brought back lazy, loving memories of lost summer days.

  Her neck and shoulders relaxed, and if she were a cat, she would have purred.

  He combed through her hair one last time and kissed her cheek. "All done, my love."

  She sat up straight. "You almost put me to sleep." She turned toward him and rose to her knees. Looking into his eyes, she pressed her lips to his, the kiss long and leisurely.

  Desire burned through his nerves again. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, returning her kiss, teasing her lips, wanting her to remember when she was gone how much she wanted him.

  She drew back and cupped his face in her hands, her eyes shuttered. "Thank you for tonight, Adam. It was a magical evening." She slid off the bed and grabbed her bag.

  Reaching for her hand he said, “I’ve got you now, Lara. I want to help. I don’t want you in pain. We have to talk, sweetheart.”

  She lowered her eyes and drew her hand away.

  He walked her to the door, his heart already missing her.

  She opened it, then turned to him.

  Dammit. That wariness was back in her eyes. He raised his hand in a wave. The door shut behind her, and she may as well have entered a jail cell. She was still in her safe place. Two steps forward, one step back.

  Chapter Seven

  LARA STRODE TO HER car, doubt whipping her like the Texas wind. For a while tonight, it had seemed like old times. Adam wasn't just her lover—he was her best friend. How easily she'd fallen back into that time and place. All the love she felt for him had filled her heart and the ecstasy of his lovemaking still rocked her.

  When Adam, always the honest one, had professed his love, an unwanted crack had appeared in her protection. She ignored it, wanting him too much. When he asked her to sleep over, her world split wide open. She couldn't pretend anymore. Loving him, taking his honesty while keeping a desperate secret of her own, wasn't right. Of course, she couldn't stay. She would treat tonight as a beautiful dream. Nothing more.

  Back at home, she slipped into a night gown and poured a glass of wine in the kitchen before returning to her bed. Leaning against the headboard in a room lit only by moonlight, she sipped, unable to forget the touch of Adam's hands on her body, the sensation of him inside her. He was the only man who had ever brushed her hair. The sensuous feeling of his fingers sifting through the strands had left her limp with pleasure.

  Her text tone sounded, and she picked up her phone. Adam.

  Lara, I can't stand this empty bed. I need you here beside me. I want you cuddled in my arms, your head on my chest, your sweet mouth near so I can kiss you goodnight. You're what's been missing from my life. I was half a man, and now I'm whole again. I sense your worry, and I'm not sure why, but I won't hurt you. I would never do that. Trust me. Trust yourself to love me as I love you. Adam

  She read it again. His honesty was a knife to her chest. She couldn't match it. She would have given their baby away. Then she lost her. If Lara had been a better mother, maybe her baby girl would be alive. The years since had done nothing to ease her shame. How could she tell Adam of her betrayal—that she kept the knowledge of his daughter from him? Knowing him now, that truth would destroy him. She couldn't do it.

  Adam, I don't know what I was thinking tonight. I let myself dream. I shouldn't have. You're such a wonderful man. Thank you for loving me still. But I can't go there. It's not right, and I won't do it. Lara

  He responded immediately.

  Why, Lara? Why isn't it right? I'll understand, whatever it is. Just tell me what's hurting you. Is it not right because you're somehow married? Help me understand. Let me be here for you, Lara. You're not alone now. You have me. I'm not going anywhere.

  Married? Is that what he thought?

  I'm not married. Never have been. I can't say anymore. Not to you. Not ever. Good night, Adam.

  A minute later, he finally replied.
/>
  I'm glad you're not married. Good night.

  She laid the phone against her chest, needing the contact with him, if only with his words. He would have wanted their daughter, but having her would have destroyed his life. Adam wouldn't be the man she knew now. She wouldn't be who she was either. But, really, was that such a loss? For years she'd thought she had it together. That her past was behind her. It only took seeing Adam Govain again to show her how wrong she was.

  She emptied her glass and set it on the nightstand, the wine in her belly no comfort at all. When she'd returned to Ft. Stockton, Adam was the last person she expected to find. In her thoughts, he was always a successful doctor back East somewhere, not living here in Texas. If she had come home more frequently, her parents might have mentioned him in passing. Though she had a very busy career, that hadn't been the real reason she visited so seldom. Her memories kept her away, and she wasn't proud of the fact, especially now that her father was gone, and she'd never spend time with him again. She could add being a bad daughter alongside being a bad mother in her list of faults.

  Turning over, she closed her eyes, the old hopeless feeling swallowing her. It was too bad her mother couldn't have borne more children. Here she was stuck with a useless daughter in her time of grief. As Lara had thousands of times before, she prayed, asking God for his forgiveness. If she had only wanted her baby more, or done something different, her baby girl might be alive today ....

  ADAM MADE IT THROUGH his twelve-hour shift the next day like a sleep walker. Thank goodness no real traumas came through the doors. His head wasn't in the game. Lara's words reverberated through his brain. What was not right? Why couldn't she talk to him? She made it seem like it was him specifically she couldn't talk to. What the hell did that mean? And it had sounded like she was saying goodbye. He couldn't lose her now. Not when he'd found her again. He left the hospital, and though he hadn't eaten lunch, he didn't stop for dinner. His stomach was a burning bag of acid.