by Emily Albert
The man in the circle of guards smiled. It was pure and meaningful, and it made Lenna want to run in the other direction.
He has returned. He’s trying to take it all from you.
Her guardian sounded even more sure than the guard, and it knocked the breath out of her.
“Hey, you! Why are you smiling? If you think you can conspire against me, you’re dead wrong!”
The smile left the man’s face. He looked at her in some sort of awe, like she was so much more than he had expected. Lenna could feel herself glowing.
The guard said, “We’re doing nothing of the sort, your Highness. I remember him, is all. We grew up at the same time. It’s awfully nice to see him again.”
The main castle door creaked open from behind Lenna. She heard someone walking briskly toward them. She turned around to see Vince Alton, scanning the area eagerly. He slowed to a stop when he got close enough to see the guarded man and let out a sigh. “That’s him, all right.” He smiled and let out a hearty laugh, then pushed past the guards to get to him.
The man looked shocked but delighted, glancing around as if he didn’t know how everyone would react. “Hello, Vince.” His smile came back when no one made any moves to stop the regent. They stared, taking in the sight of each other until Vince clapped him on the back. Then he changed his mind and hugged him. “It’s so good to see you, old friend,” Lenna heard Vince whisper.
When the two parted, the look on both of their faces was so ecstatic that it seemed wildly out of place. Lenna cleared her throat. Slowly, their euphoria faded. They both muttered apologies. She wasn’t sure where to go from here. Meeting a man who claimed to be her father was not something she was prepared for. She thought Ollivan would never return.
For a while, all she could do was stare at him. Everyone around looked at each other uncomfortably, but the man returned her unwavering gaze. He started to tear up, but still did not look away. He said very quietly, “Lenna, my lion… It’s nice to meet you. I’ve missed you.”
Lenna was frozen. A strange instinct she didn’t recognize told her that this man looking at her with tears in his eyes was her father. His fair skin and thin, light hair made him look nothing like his children; he would have been unrecognizable had he not made himself known.
She felt sad, and astounded, and terrified, but most of all, she felt the years of anger that had built up inside of her. She was angry that he left. She was angry that he didn’t come back her whole childhood. She was angry that he thought he deserved to come and meet her and Remy now. She was angry that he looked nothing like her and could still call himself her father.
Make him leave. You have to make him leave. He has only hurt you, and he will only hurt you again. Real people, remember? You have already let me down once.
Remembering hurt caused by real people made her remember her mother. She saw her lying in the fire, pale and motionless as her skin burned up. Before that, Lenna had walked into her room only to see her dead and covered in her own vomit. She felt the same stab in her chest she had felt while sitting on the floor, unable to think, move, or speak as she watched people flood into her mother’s room. Before Remy killed Fay, Lenna nursed her mother’s broken heart. Her death started with her frantic grief for this man.
Lenna twitched and flared her nostrils.
Go ahead. He deserves it for leaving the country. He will bring you down with him.
“Move,” Lenna growled to all the guards. She advanced toward Ollivan slowly, clenching her fists. “You killed my mother. You killed her—don’t you know that? You left us all, you weak coward! You left, and you made her miss you, and you killed her! How can you live with yourself! How can you show your face here?”
Young guards backed away from Ollivan, but the older ones stood in front of him. The guard with the scarred face crossed his arms, looking stoic and fearless.
“I said move! Are you disobeying me?” She stopped walking, but her eyes still looked wild. “Move!”
The scarred man looked down at her and said evenly, “There will be no fighting today. Our lost king—your father—has returned, and it is a time to celebrate. Step back.”
There was a deep, strong rumbling in Lenna’s head as she looked at the handful of people defending Ollivan. The words They defy you came out of the sound.
As she both heard and felt the violent, angry thundering, her temper wore thin. Her nails dug into her palms and she took one step closer. “I am your princess, soon to be your queen. If you choose to defy me, I will have you dragged away and hanged this second.”
“You are indeed my princess, but this man was my king.” He glanced at Ollivan. “He is my king. I believe you will make a strong, admirable ruler if you become Queen, but this man I would fight and die for. So if I do have to die defending him, so be it. I know my brothers guarding him with me will not obey you if tell them to take me away. I’m fairly certain they would sooner die along with me. But if you would like to have one of your obedient fledglings string me up, well, I guess I can’t stop you.”
He looked at Lenna’s fuming red face for a moment before saying, “I truly mean no disrespect. I’d prefer if this wasn’t a choice between my king and my princess. I’d prefer no fighting or bad blood. All I’m saying is that this man deserves to be invited in, fed, and heard out before any assumptions are made about his mistakes or intentions.”
He is no king. He left. Do not let him in. They defy you. Fight.
Lenna’s fists remained tight and her chest heaved. She held a dangerous, challenging stare. The men continued to stare back, unfazed.
They think you’re a child. They think you are incapable. Weak. Innocent. They think they can best you and have the lost king return. Don’t let them.
He killed her mother. He killed their family. He left, and he ruined everything. He dared to stand here in front of his daughter after causing so much ruin and ask to be invited into her home. How could she let go of what he had done and have a civil conversation with him? It didn’t make sense. He deserved to be opposed.
Lenna turned to Ollivan with her hard, furious face. “You think you can hide behind your friends and be safe? You think you deserve to be safe? After everything you’ve done?” A laugh bubbled out of her and she continued to take slow steps toward the group. “What do you want, Ollivan? Do you think you can come here and make things better? Fix things? Bond with your children? Is that it? Huh?”
“I’m not here to cause any harm to you. All I wanted was to meet you. I thought maybe you might need support after what happened to your mother.” He seemed to realize it was a mistake almost as soon as he said it. “I only mean that I wanted to be here for you—”
Lenna burned. “So you think we need you after all this time? Do you feel guilty? Because you should. But I don’t need you to try to make up for it. I would much prefer if you turned around and left on your mismatched ponies. We don’t need you. We don’t want you.” The last two sentences were spat so venomously that Ollivan flinched.
“I understand why you’re angry. You have every right to be. I don’t expect anything less than complete disgust for me, but it would mean the world to me if we could speak. Not for long, I just…” He looked like he was trying to work something out. It was a look Remy often made when thinking. She noticed their matching green eyes. “Forget what I want, or what I need. Forget who I am entirely if you wish. None of that matters right now. I only know that we need to talk. I need you to trust me, despite the fact that that’s the exact opposite of what everything in you is telling you to do.” He paused long enough for Lenna’s focus to fall back to the rumbling and echoing. “I’m asking you to give me a chance, because I think I can help you.”
Ollivan’s reasoning flew past Lenna, especially when she heard the word “trust.” She pounced toward him. Just as quickly, two guards took hold of her and held her as she flailed and punched at nothing. Ollivan backed up. Through her blurred vision, she thought she saw him crying.
&
nbsp; “Let me go!” she screamed. “Let me go, I am your queen! You cannot do this! I will have you all hanged! Let me go!”
“Follow us,” one guard said quietly over his shoulder.
Ollivan started to follow them and Lenna screamed again,
“No! I don’t want him in my castle! Take him out at once! He doesn’t deserve to be here! He killed the Queen! He is a murderer! Let me go!”
By the time they reached her room and she was placed on her bed, Ollivan had been led somewhere else.
The guards stayed outside Lenna’s door. “Let me out! You can’t keep me captive in here! I am your queen! Let me out!” The door was held tightly shut.
Compose yourself, child. You can be a powerful queen without making a fool of yourself this way. Don’t you remember the shame you felt before?
Its words meant nothing in her scrambled head. She couldn’t stop.
With no luck banging on her door to open it, she paced in quick strides around her room, stopping often to kick and punch things. She huffed and seethed until her room was a wreck and her hands were covered with blood. Then, still shaking with rage, she sat on the edge of her bed and bounced her leg. “Let me out!” she screamed one last time.
After what seemed like an eternity of shaking and staring angrily at the floor, Lenna heard a knock on her door. It cracked open and she ran to it. The scarred guard poked his head in. Upon seeing the tremendous amount of blood, he sighed and asked, “Are you done?”
The patronizing way he said it just about set Lenna off again, but the last thing she wanted was to be trapped in her room for the rest of the night. She sighed, “What do you want? Why am I locked in here?”
He snorted. “Why are you locked in here? You were behaving like some sort of animal, not a princess. Certainly not a queen. So I’ll ask again: Are you done?”
“How dare you talk to me that way!” Lenna felt her face twitch. “I want to speak with Prince Marco! He’ll let me out.”
“Your fiancé has no power over this, dear child.”
She slammed her bloody hand on the door, right next to the guard’s face.
“So I suppose you’re telling me you need to stay in here a while longer.” He started to close the door.
“No, no, no! I’m okay. I can be let out. Please. Please just let me out.”
You think you are so low that you need to beg? Disgusting. Where is your pride? You could lock him up if you wanted to, and you stand here letting his people walk on you.
The man called over his shoulder, “Get her some wet cloths. Are you ready?”
She heard Ollivan say quietly, “I’m ready.”
“No! You can’t let him in here! I don’t want him in my room!”
He didn’t respond and she heard footsteps coming toward her door.
Don’t be weak. He needs to leave, and you can make him. Calm down, and be smart, strong. He’s going to take all you’ve worked for.
Lenna didn’t feel capable of being smart or strong. The only behaviors she could muster were frenzied ones.
“Get him away! Get him out of my kingdom!” She was so close to the guard’s ear that he recoiled and shut the door hard.
“When you’re calm, we can talk about it. Until then, we need to keep everybody safe. I’m sorry, Princess.”
Lenna gave one frustrated screech and started the cycle of pacing, punching, and kicking all over again. By the time she had passed out on the floor from exhaustion, her knuckles were raw and there was blood all over the floor, sheets, and furniture. All the heavy wooden furniture was askew. The sheets were torn. There were tears staining Lenna’s face, and her crazed thoughts blocked out her guardian’s punishing words. Get him, get him, get him haunted her mind, even haunted her dreams.
Twenty-Four
Lenna’s insides remained a boiling mess, even when she was deemed safe enough to be let out of her room. “We won’t make you see your father right now,” the guard had said with the door cracked. “You’re obviously not quite up to it. You’ll have to talk to him, but not now.”
“I don’t have to do anything,” she had whispered, curled up on her floor. It was just loud enough for the guard to hear, but he ignored it.
“We think getting out will help you relax, don’t you think?”
Lenna hadn’t answered, but when she heard the door creak open, she had shot upright.
Find a way. Find a way to get him out. He cannot drag you down.
It had felt good to yell and fight. Though she wanted to kick and scream and kill Ollivan without speaking to him, it would not work, so she figured she would try another way. Starting out stable and agreeable would be more effective than the humiliating tantrum she had thrown earlier.
“Actually, I think I would like to speak to my father after all.”
The guard had turned around to whisper to someone, then looked at her sad state and sighed. “Fine. But we will be watching you closely.”
“Yes, of course.”
Lenna was led to her throne, where she sat as two guards brought Ollivan in. They stepped back just enough to give him space yet be defensive. Ollivan, however, stood directly in front of her, unflinching.
You look so weak. He’ll see the blood and bruises. How could you not make yourself look sane?
Lenna folded her hands together to cover the wounds and tilted her chin up. “Thank you for meeting with me, Ollivan.” He bowed. “I called you here to tell you formally that you are not welcome here. You have until the end of the day to go back to wherever you came from.”
He looked perturbed for a mere second, then settled back into looking perfectly comfortable. He scanned Lenna, then looked around the room. “That king’s throne used to be mine, you know,” he said fondly.
All the things Lenna wanted to say flickered through her mind: “You left, you abandoned it,” “You don’t deserve it, you were no king,” “It will never be yours again.”
Instead she said, “Yes, well, it will belong to my future husband now.”
“Of course, he deserves it, and you deserve to sit next to him. I am the one who left after all, and you are my daughter. The thrones are yours and your husband’s by every right.”
Lenna was at a loss for words. This wasn’t exactly what she had expected from the father she had villainized all her life. She might have preferred if he tried to put up a fight, saying this was his kingdom, his throne, and he wanted it back. All her life, even before he had come, she had been ready to oppose him on every front.
Don’t fall for whatever he says. Don’t fall for his kind words.
She smiled with some difficulty. “I’m so glad you think so. And I assume you’ve heard about Remy? About what he has done?”
“Of course. Although I would prefer to talk about that in private. Family matters should not be discussed in front of a crowd.” He looked back at the group of people that had gathered by the entrance to the throne room. They were held at bay by a string of guards, but they were close enough to listen. As he turned, they all ducked their heads. “This is part of the reason I wanted to meet with you alone.”
“You aren’t exactly part of the family, so I don’t see how these are family matters. Everyone in the kingdom and beyond knows what happened. I don’t need to hear your opinions on the subject, anyway. I was simply acknowledging that this is my throne, not his.”
Ollivan just gave her a half smile.
Satisfied enough, she asked him, “Before, you said there was something pressing you had to discuss with me. What was that?”
“Again, it is really something best discussed in private. You’ll have to trust me on that.”
She twitched as she stared at him, but managed to say, “At least tell me why you left, and why you think you deserve to be standing here right now and not under a blade. Tell the whole world; it doesn’t matter.”
He let out a short, exasperated laugh, then quickly composed himself. “I apologize. This is another thing that is just…” He looked arou
nd as if searching for his words. “I will tell you, but I cannot tell the whole world. I say this again: I need to speak with you and you alone. We can bring as many guards around the door as you’d like, but it needs to be alone. I’m begging you to trust me.”
There it is again: trust. You can trust no one. No one but me. He’s trying to squeeze his way into your good graces. He’s trying to influence you, and then he will betray you.
Lenna finally snapped. “How can you come here, to the place you abandoned, the place where you abandoned your family, and demand anything? There’s not a single thing that you are entitled to here. Especially trust. Not only do I not like you or want you here, I also don’t trust you. I know you came to take back what you think is yours, but it was a grave mistake! I told you to leave, and now you’ve crossed the line!”
“I am truly sorry for what I did, but I didn’t come back to take anything, especially something that now belongs to my daughter.”
Ollivan and Lenna blinked at each other upon hearing the word. She wasn’t sure how she felt about being called his daughter, and he obviously was not used to the sound of it either.
You are not his. He is here to take what is yours, not take care of you like the father he pretends to be.
Lenna looked away and cleared her throat. “So give me whatever excuse you wish to use.”
Ollivan’s gaze on her had not wavered. “Of course you can’t trust me. That is understandable.” He waited for her reaction, but she had none. “I came back to see you… Just you.”
Now Lenna couldn’t help but turn back to look at him. His face, his voice—always genuine.
But dishonest people could look that way—that was what her guardian would tell her. Remy had seemed genuine, Kendra had seemed genuine, but they had let her down. Disappointment from real people was invariable.
“I need to speak with you, and it needs to be soon,” he continued. “I need you to take a chance if you want to save yourself and your country. You could be risking everything if you don’t… This is coming from a man who has lost everything, and I know it’s not a good place to be. It’s not what I want for you.”