Starburst

by Jettie Woodruff

  “Trevas just wait for me,” she begged, and that too broke his heart.

  “Alley, I can’t promise you that and neither can you. You are too young to even think about that.”

  Alley took a deep breath and rested her head back to his chest. She didn’t want this night to end in argument, and she let it go.

  Trevas made slow infatuated love to her before they went to bed, and although Alley did find release at the exact same moment as him, she was not her noisy, normal strident self, and she didn’t say the F word once.

  “I love you Trevas,” she whispered in his arms, snuggled up to his front with her back.

  Trevas kissed her hair. “I love you too Alley,” he replied, and closed his eyes, as though it would stop all of this and make it go away. Although they both lay awake for a long time, neither of them spoke.

  Trevas fell asleep before Alley and woke to her missing around three a.m. He found her crying uncontrollably on the front step of the porch. He sat beside her and pulled her to his lap, and she grabbed him around the neck, hung onto him so tight and cried a river a tears, and all he could do was comfort her as best he could. He hated himself at that moment for putting her through this but what else could he do? He knew from the beginning that Alley Fletcher wasn’t the tough girl she was made out to be or thought she was, and he wished he could go back and refuse this job but immediately thought, no he didn’t, because he cherished the precious time that he was graciously blessed to have with her. He didn’t know how he was going to handle it himself, but he knew that he had to take her home and stop all contact with her, no matter hard it was going to be. He had to do it for her, he knew that she wouldn’t be able to move on if he didn’t and he wasn’t going to do that to her. She was too young and needed time to find herself and what she wanted out of life.

  Trevas rubbed her back and then pulled her face from him and held her head with both hands. He kissed her tears and wiped them from her eyes with his thumbs.

  “Alley I’m so sorry for doing this to you,” he softly spoke, trying to keep his own lip from quivering.

  “I don’t want you to be sorry Trevas. I want you to want me as much as I want you.”

  “Alley baby, I do want you but please try and understand why it’s impossible right now.”

  “It wouldn’t be impossible if you would just wait on me for a few more months.”

  “I won’t do that to you Alley. We have talked about this, you know how I feel, and I can’t change it right now. Let’s go back to bed. We have a long drive tomorrow.”

  Alley followed him back to bed, and he held her tight. He drifted off to sleep again, and she lay in his arms, crying silently.

  She was awake before him or wasn’t quite sure that she had even slept. He went to the bathroom and came back to her. She wasn’t crying anymore, but her eyes were so swollen and puffy, you would have thought she had been crying for days. He kissed her unhappy lips and inflated eyelids, and she stared up at him with an indignant, wounded look. He had wanted to make love to her before they got up but couldn’t stand what it would do to her.

  “We need to get on the road,” he said instead, and got out of bed to dress.

  Alley got up and dressed herself while he loaded their things. She hadn’t spoken to him once, and he didn’t like it.

  “Do you want to eat now or wait until we get down the road a little?” he asked.

  “No, I’m fine,” she answered quietly.

  Alley stared out the window and was still too quiet. They had been on the road for five hours, and she didn’t want to eat, didn’t want anything to drink, didn’t want to talk, and didn’t want to listen to the radio. She would let Trevas take her hand for about a minute and then pull it away. Trevas hated it that it was this way. He had one more night with her until her dad would be home, and this was not how he wanted to spend their last night together. He went through a drive thru around three in the afternoon and ordered them both a sandwich and some fries. She ate about half of her fries and didn’t touch the sandwich.

  It was almost six in the evening before they started seeing the familiar Los Angles streets and buildings. Trevas watched as Alley pulled her knees to her chest. He and reached over and put his hand on her knee.

  “Alley you have to pull yourself together before your dad gets home. He is going to know instantly that something is up.”

  “You’re worried about my dad?” she turned to look at him with constricted eyes.

  “Kind of yeah?” he answered, letting her hurt question go right over his head.

  She turned back to her window. “Don’t worry about it. He will think it’s because of him.”

  Alley dug through her bag and found the house key as they neared the gate and when she looked up she saw the two cars parked and two guys that had been standing around talking, waiting for someone to show up at the Fletcher house. Trevas shook his head in disbelief and wondered had they camped out there for the past almost three weeks. They watched as the two guys ran to their vehicles to retrieve their cameras.

  Trevas rolled down his window to type in the code that would open the iron gate and let them in.

  “Alley what do you have to say about your father and the affair with your best friend?” one of them yelled, and Trevas wanted to run over him. He hadn’t noticed that Alley had rolled her window down and was hanging out the window with both middle fingers flying high in the air.

  “I say fuck you!” she screamed, and Trevas grabbed her shirt and pulled her in.

  “Jesus Christ Alley,” he scolded. “Was that really necessary?”

  “Fuck you,” she yelled over to him, and he had barely gotten the car stopped, and she was out. She unlocked the door and went straight to her room. Trevas carried her things in, but left his in his car, knowing that as soon as Fletcher got there the next day, he was getting out of there as fast as he could.

  Trevas was angry and as hard as he tried not to be he was. He opened her door and dropped her bags to the floor, and she was just coming out of her bathroom.

  “Alley I want you to stop this nonsense,” he demanded.

  “Nonsense?” she asked, with half a chuckle.

  “Yes nonsense, we have one more night together, and you want to spend it up here alone, feeling sorry for yourself. We can’t fucking change it Alley, it is what it is.”

  “You could change it if you wanted to.”

  Trevas let out a frustrated groan and left, closing the door behind him.

  He went to the kitchen and was going to find something to cook but couldn’t quiet the thoughts running through his head. He leaned over and put both hands on the oversized bar and dropped his head. He stayed that way for countless minutes and didn’t hear Alley walk up to him.

  She touched his shoulder, and he jumped. “I’m sorry Trevas,” she quietly told him with so much hurt in her face that it could have killed him.

  Trevas had her in his arms in a split second, and she tried her best not to shed another tear. She didn’t want to be difficult, and she had known all along that this was coming, but it didn’t make it any easier.

  “Do you want something to eat” he asked in her hair.

  “No, and not because I’m trying to be difficult, I’m just not hungry.”

  Trevas smiled a slight smile. “What do you want to do?” he asked.

  “Stay right here forever,” she answered and then changed it. “I mean all night,” she corrected.

  They went to his bed very early. Trevas crawled in bed first and watched her as she undressed completely and came to his bare chest with hers. She kissed him, driving her tongue into his mouth, and he retorted with his own. He ran his hands up her naked body and turned her over so that he was on top of her.

  “Don’t you ever think that I didn’t love you Alley,” he whispered to her lips, but didn’t give her time to respond before taking her mouth again. Trevas moved in between her legs, and she pulled her knees up for him. She kept telling herself over and o
ver that she wasn’t going to cry. She focused on his touch and what he was doing to her.

  For some reason, and Trevas wasn’t sure why himself, he moved down her body and kissed her breast and kept moving down. He had never gone down on her, but felt the need, maybe more for himself than her. He touched her first with his fingers causing a soft moan and her hips to answer to the feel of him. As soon as his mouth was on her and he was penetrating her with his tongue she whispered.

  “Awe… fuck Trevas,” and he had to smile. It wasn’t her normal, flamboyant dialogue, but he didn’t care, he would take it. He continued until her hips were rearing frenziedly, and she did scream out in her typical vulgar language.

  “Fuck…fuck…fuck…” she shrieked while her hips squirmed beneath him. Trevas didn’t want to lecture her about her vulgar language. That was his Alley, that was what she did, and he loved her just the way she was.

  “I need you inside me Trevas,” she begged, and he was more than happy to accommodate her wishes.

  He moved into her and she stopped him by placing her hand on his bare chest. “Wait a second,” she requested, wanting the quavering of her orgasm to stop. He ignored her request and moved into her with excessive force and she cried out again. Trevas didn’t know where his impudence was coming from, and it was far from what he had planned, but he took her with so much aggressiveness and power, thrashing in and out of her until he was sweating and breathing like he had just run a marathon. The next time she cried out he was right there with her, and both their bodies relaxed synchronized at precisely the same moment and they lay panting in each other’s arms.

  Trevas was swiftly over it when he heard something.

  “What Trevas?” she asked, when he abruptly moved off of her and came to his feet.

  He looked at the clock reading eleven p.m. and went to the door.

  “Trevas what are you doing?” Alley asked, trying to figure him out.

  “Don’t talk Alley,” he warned.

  He cracked the door and shut it quickly.

  “Your dad is here,” he turned and whispered to her, and she jumped up too and started putting her clothes on as quickly as she could.

  “Trevas he is going to go straight to my room. It’s is routine, he always does”

  “Fuck…” Trevas said, running his fingers through his hair, trying to come up with a plan. “Do you ever sleep on the couch?” he asked.

  “Uh, no…why?”

  “You are now,” he said and took a blanket out of the closet. “I will tell you when, and you go out and lie on the couch and pretend to be asleep.”

  Alley took the blanket and waited for her Q.

  “Now,” he whispered as he watched Fletcher go upstairs opening the door.

  Alley stepped out and turned right back. “Simon is there,” she explained.

  “Shit…okay, plan B,” He replied, trying to think of what plan B was. “Go out my door and sit in the lounge chair and tell him you couldn’t sleep.

  Trevas opened the door, and she stopped and laid her hand on his chest. “Trevas are you going to leave?” she asked, and it pulled at every aching, nerve in his body.

  He kissed her quickly. “I love you Alley,” he told her, and she knew that he was going to go.

  “Trevas,” she whispered frightened.

  “Alley, go baby, please,” he begged and kissed her one more time.

  She did what she was told, just in time for Fletcher to pound on his door. He quickly pulled on a pair of sweats and looked around to make sure there were none of Alley’s clothes lying around.

  He opened the door and Fletcher started going off on him. “Where is Alley?” he screamed.

  “I’m sure she is around here Fletcher, she just went up to bed maybe an hour ago.”

  Trevas went into the living room and started barking orders. “Simon, you go check the theater and the gym. Fletcher go look in the garage.”

  Trevas stopped Fletcher before he got to the garage door.

  “Fletcher,” he called. “She’s out here.”

  Fletcher went to the sliding glass door and opened it. “Alley what are you doing out here?” he asked, and she jumped up. She had forgotten how mad at him, she was and as soon as she saw him it all came back to her.

  “Fuck you,” she screamed, and Trevas shook his head, dropping it as he did.

  “Alley, come inside,” her dad pleaded.

  Alley got up and stormed past him. She looked at Trevas with begging eyes and he smiled, and she knew that it was a goodbye smile.

  “Sorry Trevas, I didn’t mean to wake you. I just get nervous if she is not in this house.”

  Trevas wanted to scream the same profanity words that Alley had just spoken to him. “I wasn’t asleep yet. I think I will take off now since you are home.”

  “Come into my office,” he spoke, and Trevas followed him.

  “Fletcher wrote him a very hefty check and shook his hand, thanking him for a job well done.”

  Trevas thought about telling him that she would probably be in the tabloids in a few hours if she wasn’t already, due to the fact that she had flipped off the papz, but for whatever reason, he didn’t. He needed to get out of there and put this all behind him.

  Alley made it to her bathroom, cried and got sick at the same time. She lay on her bed and buried her face in the pillow, biting and stuffing the softness in her mouth. She screamed into it, waling in agony as she tried to grasp the fact that Trevas was gone. As soon as she thought she was okay and could breathe again, it would come back. She was suffocating, and although she wasn’t cold at all, she shivered as if she was standing naked in a wintery snow storm.

  Trevas had never felt so alone in his life when he entered his empty apartment, he felt like he had lost a vital organ, one that he needed to stay alive and breathe. He slouched in the only chair in the room with both hands resting on the arms. He couldn’t remember the last time that he had cried, but his heart was so full of misery and pain at that moment, he knew that if he let himself he could cry very easily.

  They both had the longest nights of their lives. Trevas woke from the chair and kicked his sneakers off, rubbing his sore neck, from sleeping crooked in the chair. Alley opened her eyes and could see the sun coming through the crack of the curtain over the French doors. She didn’t think she had a tear left, but as soon as she was awake enough to remember, they involuntarily began to fall again and she wondered how long it took to heal a broken heart, and how much of this she could take.

  Trevas got up and willed himself to stop thinking about her and move on, but that lasted for about as long as it took him to tell himself to stop. He took a shower, cleaned up and went to the kitchen and got a pack of chicken from the freezer to thaw. Chase called, and he ignored it, his mom called, and he ignored it, his sister called, and he ignored it, and he had the hardest time ever ignoring the next call from Alley. He had his finger on the button that would allow him to hear her voice, but couldn’t do it. He didn’t think he could stand to hear her voice for one, and for two, he didn’t think she could handle hearing his.

  He waited for the three beeps that would let him know that he had missed a call and then dialed the voice mail. As soon as it told him that he had one new message, he hit the number seven, which erased it, without listening to it.

  Alley threw her phone to the bed after leaving the message of her begging him to talk to her and brought her laptop to her bed. She opened the email of the pictures of her and Trevas that she had sent from her phone. She printed the two that she wanted and was cutting them out to fit into the pendant when her dad opened the door. She slid a pillow over the pictures and gave him a dirty look.

  “Don’t you know how to knock,” she shouted.

  Fletcher could see how swollen her eyes were, and the dark circles that had him concerned.

  “Alley, is everything okay?” he asked, worried about her.

  She didn’t look up from her laptop. “Yes, everything is just fucking awesome,
” she said in one flat tone.

  “Alley, I’m sorry, I did what I did. It was stupid of me, and the first thing that I should have thought about was you, and I didn’t. I’m so sorry Alley.”

  Alley stared at him through squinted eyes. “Don’t worry about it, I’m fine,” she said un-convincing.

  “Come down and eat,” Gloria will make you something.

  “I don’t want to eat, just leave me alone, please,” she begged, and he did as she wished with a deep sigh and the door closed behind him.

  The day was long for both Alley and Trevas, and she never came out of her room. Her dad did have the cook bring her a plate, and although her English was pretty broken, and she could have understood her better if she would have just spoken in Spanish. Alley understood her say that her dad wanted her to eat.

  She sat up and looked at the salmon that made her think of Trevas and picked a piece off with her finger, tasting it. She made a face, and instantly thought about Trevas being a way better cook.

  Trevas hadn’t eaten either, and when he entered the kitchen late in the evening he noticed the bloody pack of chicken that had thawed hours earlier, leaving a trail of blood all over the countertop. He picked it up and smelled it and then tossed it into the trash.

  The night was not much better for either of them and seemed to be worse for Alley. That was when she cried the most, in the dark motionlessness night, where her thoughts were too loud and echoed in her head.

  By the third day, Fletcher was really starting to worry, and went to her room late in the afternoon when she still had refused to get out of bed and come downstairs. She was lying in her bed with the pendant squeezed tightly in her fist. He went straight to the French doors and pulled the curtain back, causing her to quint at the bright light.

  “What the hell are you doing?” she asked, hastily.

  “I’m making you get out of this bed. Get up and go take a shower. You have been in the same clothes now for three days, enough is enough,” he demanded.