Starburst

by Jettie Woodruff

  “Where is she? Let me talk to her.”

  “She is out at the pool. She has been sitting in the same position for over an hour now.”

  “Take your phone to her,” Peyton demanded.

  Fletcher walked out the glass door, and she didn’t turn until he was right beside of her. He handed the phone down to her. “Your mom wants to talk to you,” he said quietly, and it broke his heart when she looked up at him to take it. There was so much pain in her eyes that he almost started crying himself.

  “Mom,” she said in a voice that now made her mother worry.

  “Alley baby, what’s going on?”

  “When are you coming home?”

  “I will get the first flight out, but it is a twenty to twenty five hour flight. I will be home as soon as I can get there Alley,” she promised, deciding at that moment that she indeed was heading home as soon as she could get there.

  “Come and get me.”

  “I will baby, tell me what’s wrong, Alley.”

  “Nothing is wrong. I just want you to come home.”

  “Okay, honey. I will get the first flight out.”

  Alley didn’t say another word and handed the phone back to her dad.

  “I will be home as soon as I can get there Fletcher,” Peyton told him and wished she could go right that moment.

  Once they hung up it dawned on Fletcher to call Trevas. Maybe he had some idea of what was going on with her.

  Trevas did answer that call with his heart at his feet, worried that something happened.

  “Evans,” he answered as he always did.

  “Hey Trevas, its Fletcher, I was hoping we could talk about Alley.”

  “Why? What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “I’m not sure, she has done nothing but stay in her bed and cry for a week. I thought it was because of my senseless incident with Brooke, but I really don’t think that is it. She won’t talk to me, and I have no idea what is going on in her head. Did something happen in Utah?”

  “No… not that I’m aware of, I was close by the whole time. She never talked the whole ride home, but I didn’t think much of it,” he lied. “She never talked much,” he added.

  He felt like such a scoundrel and felt like he was throwing her under the bus. He wanted so bad to tell him that she was hurting, and it was all because of him, but knew that he couldn’t. There was nothing at all he could do to help her, nothing that wouldn’t send him to prison anyway.

  “What about drugs, did you see her doing anything?”

  That made Trevas angry, but he hid it well. “No. I’m one hundred percent sure she is not on drugs.”

  Fletcher abruptly had to go when he watched Alley walk into the spare bedroom where Trevas slept when he was there.

  He opened the door to find her under the covers in the dark.

  “Alley, what are you doing?” he asked, not understanding.

  “I don’t want to sleep in my room. I’m sleeping down here tonight.”

  “Why?” he asked.

  “Why do you have to fucking analyze, everything? I just told you why, because I don’t want to sleep in my room.”

  Fletcher closed the door and ran his hand through his short cropped hair. He couldn’t wait for her mother to come home. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take.

  Alley turned Trevas’s pillow sideways and lay across it. She closed her eyes and pretended as though she was lying on his chest with the pendant held in her hand, touching her lips.

  She thought about how she had been treating her dad and felt guilty. She hadn’t used her acquired mouth trick in days and spat out whatever was on her mind. She did feel comforted laying in his bed but, it didn’t last and the tears that she had no idea where they were coming from began to flow again. She had to bite the pillow when the uncontrollable scream escaped. She knew she had to get over this and had to straighten up but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t imagine her life without Trevas. She knew that she would never love anyone like this ever again. She wouldn’t let herself.

  Alley lay awake for hours in the dark, pulling the pendant apart and letting the attraction of the magnets, snap back together, over and over. When exhaustion finally took over, and she thought she would finally fall asleep, she held the pendant tight in her hand, right next to her heart and rolled back to his pillow to fall asleep in his arms, nestled up to his imaginary chest.

  Trevas lay awake too, worrying sick about her and willing her to pull herself together. He wanted to call but was to terrified that it would only set her back and refrained. The last time that he looked at the clock before his own exhaustion took over was three in the morning.

  When Alley woke she was surprised that it was nine o’clock, and she felt rested for the first time in a week. She lay in bed for a while and thought about what day it was. Her days had run together so much that she realized she didn’t even know. She thought about it and counted in her head. Friday was the last night she had seen him, and she recollected each waking morning to determine that it was only Friday, and it seemed a lot longer to her. She felt like she hadn’t seen him in months, when really it had only been seven days.

  She then thought about the month. She knew that it was July but had no clue of the day. She searched for her lost phone amongst the covers and after reading the text from her mother, letting her know that she had gotten a flight out at two a.m. her time, and should arrive one or two in the morning the next day, she figured the date to be July 16th, and then it hit her, what this day was.

  It was four years that day that her nanny, Maria had passed away. She wished that she was there to talk to. She could tell Maria anything, and she knew that she would understand and tell her what to do. She was closer to Maria than anyone in her life. Maria was the one that was with her through her growing up years. She was the one that took her to the dentist, to the mall, the movies and there were even a few birthdays that she could remember that Maria was the only one with her because her parents had been off making movies some place. Maria was the only one, up until Trevas that she could laugh with, cry and talk to her about anything, and her heart was now not only missing Trevas but Maria too.

  Alley sat up and searched for the necklace around her neck. She opened it and looked inside and then let it snap back together. She walked out and her dad was sitting at the dining room table with papers strung about.

  “Dad, can I borrow your car?” she asked, and he looked surprised.

  “Where do you want to go?” he asked, sliding the dark framed glasses from his face.

  “I want to go see Maria, and put some fresh flowers on her resting place. Today is four years since she passed.” Alley replied she was never able to say the word grave, it sounded too scary, and it reminded her of her never coming back, so she had decided that resting was a much better coping word.

  “Alley I can’t let you just take the car, not with the way you have been acting here lately,” he replied, and then it hit him like a ton of bricks. Of course, she was upset over Maria, that is why she slept in her bed and that was why she was so sad.

  “Can Simon drive me?”

  “How about I take you, I gave Simon the day off to watch his grandson play baseball.”

  “When can we go?” she wanted to know, wanting to go right that moment.

  “Can I have an hour?” he asked, looking at the work in front of him.

  “Yeah that will be fine. I’m going to take a shower.” Before she left she noticed that the housekeeper was there, and when she passed her carrying a roll of paper towels and some Windex, Alley stopped her.

  “Es’ mi azul camiseta limpiar aún?” she asked, like she had spoken her language, her entire life and her dad looked at her with an astonished look as he waited for Juanita to answer.

  She never answered and disappeared to the laundry room and returned with a blue t-shirt hanging on a hanger.

  “Gracias,” she said and smiled at her. It wasn’t her shirt at all, it was Trevas�
��s and she felt the need to wear it.

  “De nada,” Juanita replied and returned the smile, continuing with her work.

  Trevas finally decided that he should answer Chase’s call and get back to work.

  “Evans,” he answered.

  “I thought you fell off the face of the earth.”

  “No, just been busy, what’s up?”

  “Are you done with the Fletcher girl?” he asked.

  “Yeah finished up last Friday,” he replied and then repeated Chase’s words in his head, Done with the Fletcher girl.

  “Then why the hell are you not answering your phone?”

  “I told you, I have been busy. I had to do an escort to and from New York and just got back last night,” he lied.

  “Anything going on this week?” he asked and Trevas new that he had something for him and dreaded the thought, but knew that he had to get back to work.

  “Not really, what do you have?”

  “Lilly Seri’s birthday party, it will be at the castle with a two hundred count guest list. You can either work the gate or mingle inside, I need seven guys, and I think there will be some others there from Ball Security as well.

  “When is it?”

  “Friday night.”

  “Yeah, sure I will be there,” he volunteered, at least it wasn’t a weeklong stay away, he thought.

  Fletcher was ready and waiting on Alley to come down. She had taken a shower and then packed the things that she wanted to take when her mom got there. She couldn’t wait and hoped being out of this house would help with seeing Trevas everywhere. She wondered if she would come and get her in the middle of the night or if she would wait until morning.

  “Ready?” her dad asked as she descended the stairs wearing dark skinny jeans, Trevas’s too big, t-shirt tied in a knot toward the side just below her hips and the combat boots.

  Once they were in the car, Alley realized she had forgotten her escape route, and her MP3 player was still lying on her bed.

  It was silent for a few minutes as her dad drove them toward Lennox Cemetery, where Maria was resting, but it didn’t last long and she rolled her eyes without him seeing, at him wanting to have a conversation.

  “Where did you learn to speak Spanish like that? I’m highly impressed.”

  “Dad, I was raised by a Spanish girl, and I took it in school since the sixth grade.”

  “Can you speak it fluently?”

  “Yes…” she said with a little sarcasm. “If I couldn’t after that many years I would feel like a real idiot.”

  “Is that the only other language you can speak,” he asked.

  “No,” she replied with only that.

  “Are you going to tell me what other one you can speak?”

  “Mandarin and German,” she replied, with only that again.

  “You are pulling my leg, right?”

  She looked over to him, and he knew that she was not, and he felt enormously guilty for not knowing this about her.

  “Yeah because I would joke about speaking a foreign language because it is hysterical,” she said in her normal teenage attitude tone.

  “Alex May Fletcher, are you seriously telling me that you can speak four languages, fluently?”

  “Dad, I have spent most of my life alone. I had to do something to keep from going crazy.”

  “We did leave you alone a lot, didn’t we?” he asked, feeling guilty.

  “It’s okay, I had Maria.”

  “I can understand the Spanish, but why the Mandarin and German?” he asked, curious about his daughter for the first time in her life. He really thought she spent so much time in her room listening to rap and surfing the internet. He had no idea.

  “Mandarin is spoken in several countries, not just china, and they speak German in Switzerland. I always wanted to go there.”

  “Wait, Mandarin is Chinese?” he asked.

  “Sort of, but a little more complex.”

  “Tell me something in German, I’ve always loved to hear them talk,” he requested, and she actually laughed a little.

  “No,” she retorted.

  “Come on, just tell me that I look nice today,” he teased with her.

  Alley looked at him briefly with half a grin, debating on whether to say it or not. “Sie sehen heute gut,” she spit it out, and she didn’t even have to think about it.

  Fletcher laughed loudly. I love that Alley. You know Peanut Silks has some Chinese lines in this movie, don’t you? It would be so easy for you.”

  “Dad, don’t start that again. I’m not going to be in a movie.”

  “Will you at least think about it?”

  “No.”

  Fletcher took a deep breath and turned in between the two stoned angels that would take them to where Maria was buried.

  “Which way do I go from here?” he asked, having no clue of which path to turn on in the massive cemetery.

  Alley looked around to figure out where they were and where they needed to go. “Go straight, until we get to the loop,” she explained.

  Fletcher drove to the center loop that looked like a spider with its legs sticking out as the paths from its body.

  “This is good,” she said, and he stopped.

  “Do you want me to come?” he asked, and she gave him a frown.

  “No, I would rather go myself,” she said, getting out and taking the bouquet of fresh Lillie’s from the back seat. Lillie’s were Marie’s favorite, and anytime that they were out she had to stop and pick up a fresh bouquet. Alley knew the street vendor very well and ever since she was a little girl he would pull a single pink tulip from his cart and hand it to her. He always told her that Tulips were for princesses. She wondered where the man was now and if he was still selling fresh flowers from a cart in west LA.

  Alley walked where Fletcher could have driven but, he knew she didn’t want him to be able to see her and he waited. He walked around the blacktop and called his co-director.

  “Hey Fletch,” Lidia answered.

  “You are not going to believe what my daughter just did.”

  “She said yes to the movie,” Lidia exclaimed, excited.

  “No, but she really, really needs to do this. She just fluently spoke German to me. She speaks four God damn languages Lidia, and she is a pro at it. Who would have thought?”

  “Why the hell are you telling me this if she won’t do it?”

  “I don’t know, I guess I’m dumbfounded. We wouldn’t even have to get a voice to do those parts.”

  “Keep working on her, she would blow this away.”

  “Her mom is picking her up late tonight or first thing in the morning. I will get her on it.”

  Fletcher continued to talk to Lidia and Alley walked right to the tombstone, where she found the stone with Maria’s picture and her name.

  ‘Maria Quinn Sanchez’

  1975 -2008

  “Hey Maria,” she began. “I brought your favorite flowers,” she spoke and dusted the top of the gray marble with her hand. She sat beside of the grave and pulled her legs to her chest. “I miss you so much Maria. Things have really gotten crazy around here. I need you more now than ever. I needed you to be here for me when I fell in love, and hold my hand through it.”

  Alley placed her hand delicately in the middle of the gravesite, and couldn’t believe how much she missed her. “I really don’t know about all of this heaven and angel stuff, but if you are looking down on me, like you promised, then you have seen Trevas. Maria he is the only thing that I want in this life, and he doesn’t want me. I know my parents would never allow it, but I’m almost eighteen, they can’t stop me, right?”

  She spoke to Maria as if she was sitting in a chair right next to her. “Can you believe that I’m almost eighteen? You would be proud Maria, well… I’m sure there would be some things that you wouldn’t be proud about,” she added. “But I did what you told me to do, and I didn’t get below an A for the past four years. I have often thought about the advice tha
t you used to give me, like doing the best at this moment so that it will put me in the best place for the next moment. I haven’t quite mastered it with people yet though,” she laughed.

  “I wished someone would have told me how much this was going to hurt. It’s truly as bad as when I lost you, maybe even worse because I know he is still here and won’t talk to me. If you were here, you wouldn’t go a day without talking to me. I just don’t understand it Maria and I don’t know what to do.”

  Alley was in tears, and she sobbed talking to her friend like she was right there. Fletcher wondered how much longer she would be and wondered what she could be doing for forty-five minutes.

  Alley was back to her depressed, sobbing self and locked herself back in her room, wishing that her mom would hurry up. Fletcher just shook his head in frustration, and hoped that after this day of her mourning the loss of Maria, she would get better.

  Alley tried to call Trevas again. He was sitting in his new favorite chair watching a cooking show. He looked down and shook his head. He wanted to answer and tell her to stop, but he didn’t because he couldn’t stand the thought of hurting her any more than he already had.

  He waited for the message, and unlike the other times where he erased it before listening to it; he didn’t, and could only close his eyes and take a deep breath at the sound of her voice.

  “Trevas please talk to me. You don’t have to want me. I’m okay with that, I just need to talk to you. Why won’t you just talk to me? I don’t understand Trevas. Please call me back.”

  Trevas could tell that she had been crying, and he listened to it over and over and over, tormenting himself with her hurting voice. It hurt him just as bad as it was hurting her, and he deserved that. He deserved to feel every bit of what she was feeling and more.

  Alley again let the exhaustion take over and she fell asleep, dressed and still in her shoes, waiting for her mother. Her mom had talked to her dad, and when she woke he told her that he would take her there when she was ready, and of course she was ready right that second.

  Peyton was surprised to see how bad she looked as well, and could tell that she had lost weight from her already too thin body. The dark circles were back, and her hair was un-combed. She gave her a weak hug and carried her duffle bag up to her room.