The Long Way Home

by Shann McPherson

  Maggie’s mother had been upset when she’d found out her daughter was pregnant. She’d told her to come back to Michigan, that she would help her raise the baby. Tom’s father had told him to “take care of it”, that law school would be impossible to manage with a toddler running around. But Tom and Maggie were in love and they knew, no matter what, theirs was the kind of love that could make it through anything.

  So, while they were lying together on Tom’s king single, Maggie crying on his chest when she realized they were officially on their own, he’d grabbed her left hand, entwined his fingers through hers and, without a ring, he’d asked her to marry him. It wasn’t just the baby. He told her he loved her, and that they were going to be married sooner or later, so why not now? In retrospect, it was catastrophically unromantic. There had been an episode of Friends on the television in the background. But, at the time, Maggie fell even more in love with Tom that night, and, of course, she said yes.

  That summer, Maggie and Tom tied the knot at the District Courthouse, before a stern judge and a kind registrar. Maggie in a white dress which, by some miracle, still fit her and her burgeoning bump, and Tom in a smart button-down and slacks. There had been no engagement ring. While Tom was from an obscenely wealthy family, after vetoing his father’s recommendation to schlep his girlfriend to an abortion clinic, he’d been subsequently cut off from the multi-million-dollar Morris fund. But he didn’t care. And, with what he’d managed to save over the years, he paid for a pair of simple nine-carat gold wedding bands.

  Theirs was an unconventional start that had been doomed to wind up as another sad statistic. But they had a surprisingly perfect marriage. Sure, they had their issues. What married couple didn’t? But they were in love and their love seemed to conquer almost everything.

  Now, as Maggie looked down at the slightly tarnished wedding band Tom had bought as a two-for-one deal from a small pawn shop—the symbol of their humble beginning and the anchor that had kept them together through the most difficult of beginnings—the ring and the promise it held was tainted in more ways than one. But every time she went to remove it, she could feel a part of her, somewhere deep down inside, ache with a pain she hadn’t been prepared to deal with. The pain of his death, the pain of his betrayal, the pain of knowing that, whether he’d died or not, she had no longer been what he’d wanted. Removing that ring would be closure, and although she wanted nothing more than to be able to move on, to close that chapter of her life and start afresh, she couldn’t. She might never be able to. So, she left it on. For now, the ring would stay. But she knew it couldn’t last forever. In time, she would have to deal with it, for her own sake, at least.

  Tucking her hair behind her ears, Maggie released the breath she’d been holding, making a move to collect her handbag. It was almost four, and although Jane had said any time after four, she didn’t want to be rude and show up too late.

  Hurrying out of her bedroom, she continued downstairs to find TJ dressed in his finest; a neat button-down and a pair of cargo shorts, his hair styled to the side with what looked like gel. She smiled at him, but her smile fell quickly when she noticed Jack lounging back on the sofa dressed in sweatpants and an old T-shirt, bare feet kicked up on the cushion, cell phone in hand.

  “Jack?”

  He glanced sideways at her from his cell.

  She shook her head incredulously. “Why aren’t you ready?”

  “I’m not going,” he scoffed, as if that much were a given.

  “Yes, you are.” Maggie huffed a sigh, moving through to the kitchen. “Jane is expecting all three of us to be there. Now, hurry up and get ready,” she yelled back through the doorway, busying herself with taking the salad out of the fridge.

  “No!”

  Gripping the edge of the countertop, she closed her eyes a moment, taking in a deep breath and counting to three before storming back into the den. She stopped behind the back of the sofa, glaring down at her insolent son.

  “Jack. You are getting on my last nerve,” she warned through gritted teeth. “You’re coming. Now, you have five minutes to get your butt upstairs and get ready. Or else …”

  He offered her a mocking glance, sniggering. “Or else what? What are you gonna do about it?”

  Thinking for a moment, Maggie did something she’d never done before. Before Jack knew what was even happening, she launched forward, snatching his cell phone right from his hands, and grabbing the television remote from the couch cushion at the same time.

  He gaped at her, his eyes wide.

  “Or else … no phone, no TV, no video games. Nothing!” She blinked at him, her stern glare unwavering.

  “Jack, just come,” TJ spoke up from the armchair across the coffee table. Both Maggie and Jack glanced at him to see his brows raised in hope as he added, “It’ll be fun.” He shrugged, slinking down a little beneath the weight of his big brother’s glower.

  Maggie flashed TJ a reassuring smile before glaring at the back of Jack’s head. “Four minutes, Jack.” She made a point of checking her watch. “The clock’s ticking. It’s up to you. You either come with us or you stay here all night, staring at the walls, which is precisely what you’ll be doing for the next month without these.” She held his phone and the remote up in the air to further emphasize her intended punishment.

  Jack sat there for a moment longer, looking down at his clasped hands. Just as she was about to give him another warning, she stopped herself when he made a move to stand. Without a word, he walked out of the room and up the stairs, the floorboards creaking beneath his weight.

  Another win. She smiled victoriously to herself, turning back into the kitchen.

  ***

  Maggie walked with TJ down the rocky drive that led from the road to Jane’s home tucked away in the woods. A sprawling colonial, it had soft gray cladding with crisp white shutters, and was surrounded by lush green trees. Jack followed behind, dragging his feet.

  Music and voices were coming from the back, so instead of knocking at the front door, Maggie led the way around the side, coming to a stop when she saw a group of people standing around two picnic tables situated on the neatly mowed lawn. She felt awkward as hell, suddenly wishing she’d knocked on the front door.

  “Oh, great, you’re here!”

  Jumping a little, she turned to see Jane walking down from the back deck carrying a tray of glasses, and of course her excited announcement caused all heads to turn, eyes focused intently on Maggie and her boys.

  Gripping her salad bowl as if her life depended on it, Maggie forced a smile. “Yeah, hi … Sorry, I didn’t know if I should knock.”

  “Ha! Knock!” A tall, brawny man with wide shoulders wearing a bright Hawaiian print shirt and holding a beer in his hand, snorted with a loud laugh. “We wouldn’t have heard you over Jane’s jabbering.” He stepped forward, holding out his free hand. “I’m Brad, Jane’s husband. You must be Maggie.”

  “Hi.” Maggie smiled up at the handsome man.

  Jane placed the tray of drinks onto one of the picnic tables, smiling as she joined her husband.

  Maggie held out her salad as an offering. “It’s just an iceberg salad with a blue cheese vinaigrette … store bought,” she added sheepishly. “Oh, and I brought wine.” She held up the bottle cooler bag in her hand which contained her own wine to drink, and another as a gift. Tom had always insisted they take a gift when invited to someone’s home. Only Tom’s idea of a gift was a two-hundred-dollar bottle of Scotch; Maggie imagined him rolling in his grave at the sixteen-dollar bottle of chardonnay she’d purchased from the Piggly Wiggly.

  “Oh, Maggie, thank you. You didn’t have to bring anything.”

  Maggie blushed, waving off Jane’s gratitude.

  “And who do we have here?” Brad asked, looking down at TJ with a broad smile.

  “I’m TJ.” He craned his neck, looking up at the towering man with a shy smile. “And this is my brother, Jack. He’s annoyed because he didn’t wanna come.”
/>   “Teej!” Jack hissed angrily, nudging his little brother in the back.

  “Didn’t want to come, huh?” Brad guffawed, eyeing Jack dubiously. “You like baseball?”

  Jack nodded with a noncommittal shrug.

  “Jack got picked to play on the varsity team. He was the youngest ever varsity player in the school’s history,” TJ spoke up, still so proud of his big brother, in spite of all that had happened.

  “Wow!” Brad exclaimed, continuing, “Well, Jack, if you’re interested, we’re going to play a game of ball after dinner in the lot next door. Maybe you can be a team captain.”

  Jack looked down to the ground, and Maggie could tell he hated the attention. In that way he was a lot like her.

  “Dad, where do you want the burger buns?” An angelic voice asked from somewhere behind Brad’s looming figure, causing everyone to turn.

  A cute blonde around Jack’s age, with a heart-shaped face and crystal-blue eyes stood there holding a bag of burger buns, smiling innocently while fluttering her thick lashes.

  “Oh, Maggie,” Jane said, glancing at the boys. “TJ. Jack. This is my daughter, Katie.” She wrapped an arm around the beautiful girl, squeezing her close.

  Maggie chanced a sideways glance in time to see Jack immediately perk up. He squared his shoulders, puffed out his chest a little, and raked a hand through his thick mane of unmanageable hair.

  Jane said, “Actually, Jack, Katie’s your age. She’ll be in a few of your classes at school.”

  Katie smiled bashfully at Jack, the hint of metal braces flashing which she quickly hid by pressing her lips together, cheeks flushing. She tucked her silky blonde hair behind her ear, glancing down at the ground a moment.

  “Katie, why don’t you take Jack and TJ around to meet Sam and Ben and the other kids?” Jane suggested.

  Katie handed her father the bag of buns and smiled again, looking from Maggie to Jack, and then TJ. “Come on.” She waved them over. “The boys are shooting hoops.” She glanced at Jack. “Do you play basketball?”

  Jack smiled smugly. “Yeah, but I’m way better at baseball.”

  Maggie watched her two boys follow Katie around the side of the house. She smiled to herself, feeling a wave of relief wash over her. Finding Jane and Brad watching her, she shook her head dismissively, explaining briefly, “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen them like that.”

  Jane beamed, and then she threw an arm around Maggie’s shoulders. “Come on. Let’s get you a wine and I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

  Maggie nodded and she quashed every last sliver of doubt that had been plaguing her. Wrapping her arm around Jane’s waist, she went willingly.

  Chapter 16

  “Maggie, TJ is adorable and Jack is so handsome!” exclaimed Heather, one of Jane’s friends, from across the island counter, positively gushing as she glanced out the window to where all the kids were playing a game of HORSE.

  While the men all stood around the grill outside, drinking beer and laughing as Brad regaled them with a story that was obviously hilarious and likely quite crude, the women were in the kitchen, gossiping, drinking cocktails and helping to prepare the rest of the food. Much to Maggie’s relief, Jane’s friends seemed as nice as Jane was.

  “They take after their father. Identical. TJ’s a little bit of me mixed in, but Jack is almost Tom’s doppelgänger.” Maggie smiled to herself as she peeled a few hard-boiled eggs, but then an obvious silence fell throughout the kitchen and she looked up in time to see Heather and the other woman, Julie, glance awkwardly at one another. Jane speared them each with a warning glare.

  “What’s wrong?” Maggie asked, her brows drawn together in confusion.

  Jane forced a smile, moving to Maggie and placing a hand tentatively on her arm. “I-I hope you don’t mind, but I told the girls about your … your husband.” She offered a rueful smile, adding quickly, “When I told everyone you were coming, they all asked if … if he would be joining you and I didn’t really know what—”

  “It’s fine.” Maggie placated Jane’s ramblings, holding a hand up with a smile. “It’s okay.” She then glanced at Heather and Julie who were all looking on with contrite smiles. “My husband was in a car accident in March. He passed away. Now … here we are.” She smiled again, despite the awkward tension which loomed heavily in the wake of her words.

  Thankfully, the moment was interrupted by Brad entering the kitchen to collect his pork ribs that had been marinating in the fridge. He paused, glancing at everyone, his brow furrowed.

  “Everything okay?” he asked before a slow smirk pulled at his lips, his gaze landing on his wife. “Jane’s not talking. That means there’s gotta be something wrong.” He laughed at his own joke, which, despite it not being at all funny, did help lighten the mood.

  “Oh, Brad.” Jane rolled her eyes, swatting her husband away with the dish towel. “You should do stand-up at the Improv. You’re hilarious.” She snorted derisively, but when everyone went back to their business, she quickly glanced at Maggie and winked, the two women sharing a moment.

  ***

  After washing her hands and freshening up in Jane’s downstairs guest bathroom, which was unusually clean for a home with three children, Maggie collected herself enough to rejoin everyone outside.

  She’d needed a moment. Telling the women about Tom had been difficult, but not for the reasons she had thought it would be. She didn’t mind people knowing that her husband was dead—it was silly to think they wouldn’t find out eventually—but she hated seeing the pity and the sympathy in their eyes. She wanted to tell them the truth: that he was a cheating son of a bitch and she was better off without him. But she couldn’t say that. She couldn’t risk people knowing the truth because then TJ and Jack would know, and she’d promised herself she’d do all she could to keep it from her boys for as long as she could. When they were old enough to understand, she might tell them. But for now, she would sacrifice whatever she had to, to keep that piece of information under lock and key. Maybe that meant she would forever be forced to continue living her lie, but she’d do what she had to do. The whole truth wasn’t possible at the moment. And that was like a big black cloud coming over her, a cloud she thought she’d left back in Boston.

  With a fortifying breath, she raked her fingers through her wavy hair, smoothed a hand down the front of her shirt and forced another smile on her way out to join the party; she was the guest of honor, after all.

  Outside, dusk was beginning to settle. The setting sun had turned the sky from blue to yellow to orange and red, to the beautiful inky mauve with pink swirls it was now. Garden lights illuminated the boundary and lanterns hanging from the branches in the trees overhead lit up the space as everyone enjoyed one another’s company, laughing and talking.

  Maggie paused on the step down from the back deck, finding Jack seated at one of the picnic tables, laughing with Katie as she showed him something on her phone, his eyes shining brightly. She could tell he was quickly becoming besotted by the pretty blonde. She couldn’t blame him; Katie was gorgeous, and as sweet as her mom. Maybe he won’t hate life so much in the sticks, after all, she thought hopefully.

  “Mom?”

  As she turned, Maggie’s smiling eyes found TJ standing by the fire pit roasting marshmallows with Sam and Ben, and Heather’s son, Chase. And Evan. Wait, what? She did an almost comical double take, gasping quietly as her gaze settled upon the man smirking back at her with a knowing glint in his shining eyes.

  “Well, now I know you’re stalking me,” Evan said with a chuckle, folding his muscular arms over his broad chest.

  He was dressed in jeans which pulled in all the right places, Chuck Taylors and a vintage Guns N’ Roses T-shirt, his hair left messy. He looked good. Maggie had to force herself to look away. She hated how he made her feel. It wasn’t right. She swallowed hard, focusing intently on the ground as she walked toward him, racking her brain as to why the hell he was even there.

  “Mom?�
�� TJ waved her over excitedly. “Coach is here!”

  “I see that.” Maggie nodded with a small smile, moving beside her son while dubiously eyeing Evan.

  “Coach is Sam and Ben’s uncle.” TJ smiled, glancing fondly up at Evan. “How cool is that?”

  Maggie’s brows knitted together in confusion, but before she could say anything they were interrupted by Jane as she sidled up next to Evan, wrapping an arm around his waist, beaming up at him like a proud … what? Sister? Now that they were together side by side, despite the fact that he towered over Jane’s petite frame, the resemblance was almost uncanny—same eyes, exact same smile.

  “Maggie, this is Evan … my brother,” Jane said.

  “We’ve already met,” Evan said with a smirk, his playful gaze fixed on Maggie.

  A curious glint flashed in Jane’s eyes as she studied them both, her smile faltering momentarily before it returned. “Oh, of course! Little league.”

  Maggie stared at Evan, feeling her cheeks flush beneath his penetrative stare.

  “Yeah.” Evan nodded, focus still set intently on Maggie. “Little league.”

  Sure, Maggie could have corrected him. Could have told Jane that she’d met Evan a few days ago at the hardware store, and that they’d later run into one another at the pub. But, for some reason, perhaps it was the look of mischievous secrecy in Evan’s gaze, she didn’t correct him. And she didn’t even know why. All she could manage was a shy smile, glancing casually at Jane who was watching her with one eye slightly narrowed with thinly veiled suspicion.

  “Soup’s on!” Brad’s booming voice echoed throughout the yard, interrupting the moment. And Maggie had to hand it to the man; his timing was impeccable. Saved by the Brad. She breathed a sigh of relief, quick to turn away from Evan’s smiling eyes and Jane’s piqued curiosity.

  ***

  Evan hadn’t wanted to come tonight. Sure, he loved seeing his niece and nephews, loved being invited to his sister’s perfect house to have dinner with her perfect family, and talk about their lives like they were perfect. But once or twice a week was more than enough. Anything more than that just made him feel like an imposition, or a charity case.