The Long Way Home

by Shann McPherson

  Poor, lonely Evan, they all thought. Little did big sis know that most nights he was far from lonely.

  When Janie had called him the night before to invite him to the cookout, he’d almost said no. He’d planned on heading out to the pub so he could get drunk like he did most Saturday nights; well, drunk enough to forget, but not so drunk that the people in this small town would start talking about him, like his life was any business of theirs. But when Janie had mentioned the cookout was to welcome Maggie, the nice new woman from Boston, of course he had to say yes.

  There was just something about Maggie, something he’d noticed within the first few seconds of meeting her, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Of course, she was gorgeous, but it was more than that. Behind that dimpled smile she tried so hard to downplay, deep within those green eyes that sparkled with flecks of gold and silver, there was a sadness. It wasn’t obvious, but it was there. And Evan knew there was a lot more to it than just that wedding ring she wore on her finger. He’d heard the news. Her husband had died. News like that traveled like wildfire through a town like Jewel Harbor, especially when Jane was involved. But he knew there was more to it; her kind of sadness was more than just a dead husband. There was something else, something raw, something that was eating at her. And he wanted to find out—needed to find out—because, well, frankly, he’d never met anyone he could relate to more, even from that first fleeting glance they’d shared at the hardware store. Perhaps, in some totally screwed up way, they were kindred spirits.

  Standing around while everyone took their seats, Evan watched on, waiting. He was so used to being on his own at parties and dinners and social gatherings, waiting to take the last single chair, it all came as second nature to him. But, tonight, he wasn’t the only one alone. He looked up beneath his brows, watching as Maggie stood awkwardly, waiting to find a place at the table for herself. Everyone else sat together—Jane and Brad, Heather and Chris, Julie and Travis. The kids all crowded on the other table, giggling and laughing mischievously. It was literally just Evan and Maggie left standing once everyone else had taken their seats. And in that anxiety-inducing moment, their eyes met from opposite ends of the picnic table.

  “Maggie, honey? Come sit here, sweetie,” Jane sang out, hand in the air, waving her over like a damn dog.

  With another quick glance at Evan, followed by a tight-lipped smile, Maggie hurried over and squeezed in between Jane and Julie. Evan glanced at the kids’ table. There was ample space for him there, and, honestly, that’s where he’d be most comfortable. But he was a thirty-five-year-old man, surely he could act like an adult for at least a couple of hours. So, flashing Heather, Jane’s oldest friend who’d had a crush on him since he was fifteen, even after she married Chris, his trademark, panty-dropping smile, he perched himself at the very end of the table, next to Travis as the amiable dinner chat got underway.

  “So, Maggie?” Heather began with a smile. Across the table, Maggie had paused as she reached for the potato salad. “Tell us a bit about yourself.”

  Evan watched as Maggie’s cheeks turned pink; even beneath the muted light of the lanterns hanging overhead, her blush was obvious. Her shoulders seemed to cower almost instinctively as all eyes settled on her. He could tell straight away that she wasn’t one for attention.

  “Well, there’s not a lot to tell, really …” she said with a gentle laugh. “Born in Michigan. I moved to Rhode Island for college, met my husband, and we moved to Boston where we lived for the last twelve or so years.” She dished herself out some salad, and it was obvious, even from where Evan sat at the other end of the table, that she wanted the conversation about her and her past to end.

  “What did you study in college?” Julie asked with keen interest.

  “Oh, um …” Maggie thought for a moment, fingers instinctively going to her wedding ring in a move Evan had come to realize was something she did when she was nervous, maybe even without knowing she was doing it. “I was studying design. Interior.” She glanced over her shoulder to the kids’ table, her gaze momentarily checking for her boys before she looked back and added quietly, “But I fell pregnant. So, I only completed my first year.”

  “Oh, she’s a wonderful designer,” Jane interrupted, smiling at everyone around the table. “I saw some of the work she’s done so far at the lake house. The attention to detail is just remarkable. If I hadn’t just had the whole house redone, I’d get you in to redecorate our den.” She nodded at Maggie.

  Maggie blushed again, and when it seemed as if everyone was choosing to eat instead of toss questions at her, she relaxed enough to start picking at her plate of food with her fork.

  “What field of law did your husband practice, Maggie?” Heather asked after a few beats.

  Maggie dropped her fork, the silver clanging loudly against her plate, and in the flash of an instant, Evan watched her face fall before she quickly recovered with that same smile she wore only to be polite.

  “Criminal,” she answered with a nod. “Defense.”

  Heather gasped, her eyes widening excitedly. “Did he defend any real bad—”

  “What is this?” Evan suddenly butted in with a humored tone that didn’t match the warning look in his eyes as he glanced at both Heather and Julie. “The Spanish Inquisition?”

  An awkward silence ensued, and Jane shot him a look that fell from his eyes to the beer bottle in his hand and back again. She arched a brow. But he didn’t care. Maggie was obviously uncomfortable and he was sure she hadn’t agreed to come to dinner just so she could be interrogated by two of Jewel Harbor’s biggest gossips. He rolled his eyes, taking a drink from his beer to wash down his mouthful of chewy steak. Brad was the world’s worst cook; his apron—BBQ King—was a blatant lie.

  “So, Maggie?” Brad broke the awkward silence. “How’s the new place going?”

  With a sigh, she took a sip from her glass of wine, eyes flickering to Evan before returning to Brad with a smile. “It’s old. And it’s been a little neglected. So, there’s a bit of work that needs to be done, but I can—”

  “A bit of work?” Jane shrieked incredulously, glancing at everyone around the table as she added, “Try twenty thousand dollars’ worth of work.”

  A collective gasp filled the void.

  “What on earth needs to be done that’s gonna cost twenty grand?” Brad asked with complete indignation.

  Maggie shook her head. “Just a couple of things that cost a lot of money,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “The furnace needs replacing, leaks in the roof, that kind of thing.” She shrugged a shoulder nonchalantly like it was no big deal.

  Brad looked at Travis questioningly. “Who do we know in roofing?”

  Travis glanced up to the sky a moment as if in thought. “Isn’t Munroe’s brother in Manchester a roofing guy?”

  Maggie’s eyes moved furtively between the two men, and Evan could see she was beginning to panic.

  “I’ll speak to him at the station on Tuesday.” Brad nodded. “See if he can make a call and get you a good quote.”

  “Oh, it’s fine, really, I …” Maggie stopped herself when she realized Brad and Travis had moved on to a discussion between themselves about the electricians they knew who could replace her furnace.

  Evan shook his head to himself, taking another sip of his beer before announcing unnecessarily loudly, “Who caught the end of that Orioles game?”

  All eyes turned to him, most full of confusion at his abrupt interruption.

  He took another big swig from his beer bottle, finishing it with a few more mouthfuls. Slapping a hand on the table with gusto, he continued, “God, that kid from Syracuse, huh? What a slugger!”

  Suddenly, the men around the table seemed to perk up in unison, each of them chiming in animatedly about the nail-biting game, and all talk of furnaces and qualified journeymen was soon forgotten.

  From the corner of his eye, Evan noticed Maggie visibly relax, her shoulders dropping with the big b
reath she’d been able to finally release. She glanced up at him, and when their eyes met, she mouthed a thank you. With a small smile, Evan nodded in her direction before obliging in ball talk with the men.

  Chapter 17

  Maggie carried her mug of steaming hot tea out onto the dock, taking a seat in one of the Adirondack chairs and smiling as she looked over the still water. She released a long breath, stretching her legs out, taking in the darkness of the woods on the other side of the lake. There was no moon tonight, just myriad stars shining bright above in the inky midnight sky. A light salty breeze blew through the leaves of the big tree that sat on the bank, but apart from the occasional rustle, the night was silent and still. Eerie, yet calmingly so.

  TJ had fallen asleep in the car on the way back from the cookout. She had to wake him when they pulled up at the house. She’d been worried she was going to have to help him up the stairs by herself. But, much to her surprise, Jack hadn’t immediately disappeared inside the house and up to his room like he normally would have. Instead, he’d stayed and helped his little brother out of the car, and walked with him upstairs. She hadn’t heard a peep out of either of them since.

  Dinner had gone smoothly. After Evan had successfully steered the conversation away from Maggie and her dead husband, and the thousands of dollars’ worth of repairs that needed doing to the house, the rest of the night had gone by without issue. In fact, it had been nice. It’d been a long time since she’d actually had fun at something like that. Tom would have spent the night off with the men, smoking cigars or doing God only knows what. But tonight, everyone had sat together; the only time the group had parted was when they’d separated into two teams and played a game of softball. Everyone. Maggie hadn’t realized how unfit she was until she’d actually hit the ball and had to run to first base. Sadly, she hadn’t made it, and had been caught out by a victorious Ben who sure knew how to rub it in. She gave up after one bat and walked off the makeshift diamond with a stitch.

  What she couldn’t seem to shake after tonight, however, were the occasional glances she’d been receiving from Jane any time Evan had tried making conversation with her. It wasn’t that she was being nasty, as such, but it was obvious, the look in her eyes laced with a touch of unease, in spite of the woman’s friendly smile. She hoped Jane wasn’t getting the wrong impression; that Maggie was trying something on with her brother, because that absolutely wasn’t happening. Yes, she considered Evan handsome, and, in any other situation, he would be the kind of man she would be attracted to. But it couldn’t happen. Tom’s body was barely cold, and she was still trying to get over the fact that her dead husband had managed to break her heart after his death.

  Maggie could tell Jane was protective of Evan. She’d mothered him throughout the night and would keep asking if he was okay every time she walked by. Her questions were quietly murmured but Maggie was able to hear, and she could see the frustration flicker in Evan’s gaze every time, which he would quickly cover with a smile that shone in his eyes. Maggie didn’t know what their exchanges were about, and, frankly, it was none of her business, but there was definitely some kind of underlying tension between the brother and sister.

  “Hey, Mom.”

  Startling from her thoughts, Maggie turned to see Jack coming down from the house, tentatively stepping onto the rickety dock. His hair was damp, and he was dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt, ready for bed.

  “Hi, honey.” She smiled at him, watching as he took a seat in the chair next to her.

  With a tight smile and a heavy exhale, he looked out over the water, and in the moments that followed, a companionable silence fell between them.

  As she glanced sideways at her son, Maggie realized it had been a long time since they’d sat together, just the two of them, without it coming to blows. She was on tenterhooks, waiting for him to start yet another fight. When he spoke, however, it wasn’t at all what she was expecting. “Do you need me to get a job?”

  “What?” She gaped at him.

  He shifted a little awkwardly, clearing his throat, not meeting her eyes and he continued while staring at the water, “I overheard you tonight talking about the house and how much it’s gonna cost to fix everything.” He flashed her a furtive glance, looking away just as quickly. “I thought, maybe, w-we’re having, like, money trouble or something.” He shrugged again.

  “Oh …” Maggie looked down a moment, staring at the mug in her hands. Briefly, she considered telling him the truth. That his beloved father had left them with nothing, that this whole move had been her attempt at saving their hides, that she was the hero, not Tom. But she shook her head at the thought. She knew the truth would only hurt Jack, and he was already hurting enough. One day he would know the truth. She’d be sure to tell him. She owed it to him; he deserved to know. But not now.

  “Jack, it’s fine.” She shook her head. “I mean, of course, with your father gone we no longer have his salary as a safety net, but don’t worry.” She offered a droll smile when he met her eyes, continuing wryly, “We’re hardly destitute.”

  Jack nodded once. He glanced up at the starry sky and another silence fell between them. But this silence wasn’t quite as easy as it had been before his question. This one was rife with trepidation and apprehension.

  “I … I’m sorry,” he said after a few beats, his words hushed and murmured under his breath.

  Confused, Maggie turned to look at him fully. She watched as he seemed to struggle with his words. He glanced down, his hands twisting together in his lap. When he lifted his head, fixing her with an earnest look, his eyes were glassy, reflecting the muted light of the night.

  “Honey, what is it?” Maggie pressed.

  He raked his teeth over his bottom lip, nostrils flaring as he tried so obviously to keep his emotions in check. Sniffling, he looked over her shoulder, off into the distance behind her, like he couldn’t possibly bear to meet her eyes.

  “What I said to you … the other day in the car—” A sob bubbled up the back of his throat, cutting his words short with a hiccup and tears spilled out. He closed his eyes tight before he buried his face in his hands. “I didn’t mean it,” he cried, shaking his head. “And I really need you to believe me when I say that.”

  For a moment, Maggie just sat there, watching him cry into his hands. She wanted so badly to go to him, to hug him, to tell him it was okay, that he was forgiven. But she knew he needed this. He needed to talk through his feelings. It was almost as if he needed to break in order to truly be able to start to heal. So, she waited, watched him break.

  Jack scrubbed his hands over his face, wiping away what he could of his tears, and with another sniffle, he looked at her with all sincerity. “I love you, Mom. And I hate what I said, because I didn’t mean it. And it’s been eating at me ever since. And I need you to know that I am so sorry that I said it, that I even thought to say it. I love you and I’m so thankful to have you. Without you, I don’t know what …” He trailed off, closing his eyes at whatever it was he was about to say. When he opened them again, he looked harrowed at the thoughts plaguing his mind.

  Maggie placed her mug of tea onto the arm of her chair before pushing up slowly. She went to Jack, crouching down in front of him, placing a hand on his knee. He met her gaze and she smiled at him. Without the need for words, she reached out, pulling him in, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders in a hug so tight, so desperate, she wasn’t sure how she was ever going to be able to let him go. She breathed him in, smiling through her tears. She finally had her boy back.

  ***

  That night, when the house was still and silent, and darkness had settled outside along with what sounded like one lonely cricket, Maggie couldn’t sleep. It was after two and she was still perched up against the headboard, the laptop on her knees, illuminating the room as she idly surfed the internet.

  She started researching budget-saving roof restorations and DIY leak repairs, and that developed into looking at affordable ways to
create more closet space without the cost of a contractor. Since Jack was inhabiting the attic, she could transform the spare bedroom into her own personal dressing room. It wasn’t as if they needed a guest bedroom. It wasn’t like she had anyone to invite to stay with them, unless, of course, Tom’s sister ever stopped being a total witch.

  But from there, her mind seemed to wander without any clear intention or reason to a certain blue-eyed man, and she suddenly found herself typing ‘Evan Boyd’ into the search engine.

  There were quite a few results. Most were just Evan’s name listed in long registers of baseball game fixtures and stats. According to one website, he played for Georgia Tech after which he was drafted to a Triple-A Minor League team in Oklahoma. But then nothing. It seemed he just stopped playing after a few years and there was no apparent explanation or reason why.

  She wondered what had happened. Why did he quit? Why did he move back to Jewel Harbor? What happened for him to give up on something he was obviously very good at, something he was passionate about, to come back to his tiny hometown and coach little league and fix boats?

  She clicked on the photographs. Most were action shots of Evan which came up in the images tab. She allowed her gaze to drift over his form. He was good-looking. Obviously. Cocky. That much she’d witnessed firsthand. And he was clearly a ladies’ man about town. But there was something else about Evan Boyd, something about him that intrigued her. Despite his strong exterior and the perma-smirk that played on his lips, there was a lingering sadness that seemed to loom heavily over him. She’d seen it the night at the pub, when he’d glanced at TJ and Jack, and she’d seen it tonight at the cookout, when Jane had walked past him, stopping momentarily and placing a hand on his shoulder, offering a quick squeeze. Each instance had been fleeting, but it was definitely there; an emptiness in those blue eyes that were otherwise so happy and effortlessly carefree. She hoped it wasn’t anything too serious, but deep down she had a feeling it was. And, given the glimpse into his past that she’d received from Barb, the flirty salon owner, Maggie couldn’t help but wonder if, maybe, she and Evan had a few things in common.