The nurse by the bed tried to cover her snicker, but it didn’t quite work. And when Rhiann looked over at her she saw the nurse’s lips were turned up in a smile.
“What?” Rhiann asked her curiously.
“I’m sorry. It’s just... I’ve worked in this department for over two years and I had no idea the Ice Castle knew how to smile, let alone laugh.”
Rhiann narrowed her eyes at Patrick. “Ice Castle?”
He rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what she’s on about. I just come to work, do my job, and go home.”
“You shut down, didn’t you?”
He huffed, a pained expression crossing his face. “I’d lost everything that brought me joy in life. My job was the only thing left to hang on to.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and stared him down. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“And I’m not going to!” he snapped, anger flashing in his eyes. “I’m going to go and check if the images are up. I want to review them one more time while everything is still fresh in my mind.”
He hurried out of the curtained area like a pack of rabid dogs were on his heels.
She’d been so focused on what losing Patrick and then Pete had done to her life that she hadn’t considered what the last few years had been like for Patrick. Yes, she’d lost the two people who’d meant the most to her, but they were both still alive and healthy. Patrick didn’t have that comfort, small that it was.
Tears filled her eyes. Her heart hurt for the pain he must have been in. For the caring and loving man she’d once known to have forced all his emotions behind such a cold front, it had to have been bad. A protective measure, no doubt. She wondered how much force it would take to crack that ice, and if she’d ever see her devoted friend again.
“Oh, I didn’t mean to upset him,” the nurse said with an apologetic tone.
“You didn’t. That was all me. Lord knows, I’ve had a lot of practice.” Rhiann shrugged.
She stared out through the slightly open curtain for a moment, hoping Patrick would come back so she could apologize for inserting her foot so far into her mouth they might need to go down to the ED to have it extracted. They’d only just begun patching up the disaster that had once been a beautiful friendship and now she’d had to screw it up before they were remotely close to stable.
But as Levi started to stir, Rhiann shifted from concerned friend to worried mommy.
Once he was good and awake the nurse brought in a small cup of juice, and then stepped away to check on another patient. Rhiann fawned over her son, praising each sip of juice he took and every smile that crossed his lips.
“You’d think he’d just won the Nobel Peace Prize instead of drunk some juice from a sippy cup,” a gruff masculine voice said from behind her.
“I think drinking juice should be a sport at the next Olympics,” Rhiann said, a slight smile on her lips.
“I’m sure our Levi will take the gold, then.”
Our Levi...
Rhiann’s eyes teared up and she blinked them away quickly. She doubted Patrick had meant to claim Levi in the way her stupid, stubborn, hopeful heart had taken that statement. Levi’s own father had even stopped referring to him as his son once the words “heart problem” had crossed that first doctor’s lips.
Our Levi...
Those two little words made her want things.
Impossible things.
CHAPTER SIX
Patrick
UNSURE IF HE should apologize for overreacting, or just keep his mouth shut and pretend the little spat hadn’t happened, Patrick stood just inside the recovery area nervously.
That was not a normal emotion for him.
Nervousness.
Scratching at his chin, he realized it wasn’t just nervousness that wasn’t normal for him. He’d hidden the hurt, hidden the pain, behind the venom in his voice and the frigid mask he donned each morning to block out all the emotions he couldn’t bear, and he had been doing it for so long that all emotions felt foreign—too remote to be his own.
He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt anything but focused on his work prior to Rhiann showing up and ripping the stitches out of his hastily patched-up emotional state. Since her reappearance his internal monitors were going haywire. Not only had his blood pressure skyrocketed, but his heart sputtered and raced alternately, depending on her proximity. And he’d never considered himself an angry sort of man, prone to outbursts, but the anger he now hemorrhaged at the slightest provocation startled him.
He’d left and gone to change back into his street clothes to give himself time to cool off. When that hadn’t been quite enough he’d gone to the staff break room for a while and stared out the window looking over the hospital parking garage. He’d watched people trekking in and out, in and out...
Like looking at the painting in his office, finding something to focus on had helped him calm himself. With time and space to breathe, he’d realized Rhiann’s words had been uttered out of concern for him, not nosiness or anger. And he’d responded like a jerk.
That was becoming the norm for him when he was with her.
But he’d watched the gentle way she cared for her son and felt an intense longing rise up within him. The love she showed for her baby made Patrick’s heart hurt.
He wanted to experience that.
The all-consuming love of a parent for their child.
The day Mallory had told him she was pregnant had been one of the best days of his life. He’d wanted Everly more than anything from the moment he’d known of her existence. He’d longed to be a dad.
But that opportunity had been ripped away from him. And he needed to remember whose fault that was. Why was he having such a hard time remembering that?
“Dr. Scott? I think we can go ahead and discharge this patient if you are ready to sign off?” A nurse interrupted his bumpy trip down bad memory lane.
“Yeah, absolutely.”
He moved to the computer terminal and put in his log-on credentials. With a few clicks Levi’s discharge orders were complete, ready for the nurse to implement.
“I’ll be right back with his paperwork.” The nurse left the little room, pulling the curtain closed behind her.
Patrick stood there silently, undecided on how to proceed. The rattle of a bed being rolled down the hall and the incoherent chatter of nurses and patients kept silence from overwhelming the small recovery area, but the only noise in Levi’s room was the soft beep of the heart monitor and the occasional glug of juice from the sippy cup.
Rhiann and Levi both sat quietly.
“I’m sorry I pushed you too far earlier,” Rhiann whispered.
The softness in her eyes spoke of sadness and regret and he was glad she’d spoken first.
“I may have overreacted.” Patrick stepped close to her, taking her hand in his. “Truce?”
“Anytime.”
The smile on her face sent his heart-rate up to a faster pace. He dropped her hand and stepped back, pretending to look at something on the computer he knew he’d already logged out of. Rhiann and Levi were getting under his skin and he couldn’t allow that to happen.
He’d put some physical space between them and now he turned the conversation from emotional to logistical. “You ready to get this boy home?”
“Yes, please. But...um...” Rhiann winced as they made eye contact.
He lifted an eyebrow in question.
“Do you think we could stop by the grocery store on the way home? My car isn’t going to be ready until tomorrow and I could really use some food.”
More time with this woman who made him emotionally unstable and her sweet son who was slowly but surely cementing a place in his heart?
Why not? No way could that go wrong.
Saying no to letting her buy food coupled with the apolog
etic look on her face would move him into that class of men who kicked puppies for fun, so what else could he say but, “No problem.”
The nurse came back with a few forms for Rhiann to sign and some discharge instructions. While they went over them Patrick played peek-a-boo with Levi, to give Rhiann time to take care of the paperwork.
The adorable baby clearly thought it was hilarious whenever Patrick reappeared, even if he’d only hidden behind his hands. And even though he was getting attached to Levi, and he knew that was a bad idea—boy, did he know—he couldn’t resist the baby’s sweet smile and rare giggle.
When the paperwork was finished, leaving them free to go, Rhiann picked Levi up and he immediately reached for Patrick instead.
Patrick caught him as he leaped from Rhiann’s arms toward him. “You want me to carry you outta here?” He chuckled as Levi babbled at him. “I know—us guys have to stick together. Besides, there’s a much better view from way up here, huh?” he teased, knowing Rhiann would take the bait.
“Are you calling me short?”
“Is your mommy short?” He tickled Levi’s side. When Levi made a happy sound, Patrick pretended the baby had spoken. “No? Mommy’s not short? She’s just vertically challenged? Okay, maybe you’re right.”
“Ha-ha.” Rhiann stalked out of the recovery room.
“Think we should tell her she’s going the wrong way?”
Rhiann spun and headed back in their direction. “Lead the way, then, Dr. Thinks-He’s-Funny.”
Carrying Levi, Patrick walked toward the elevators.
Rhiann followed along beside him.
Somehow it felt right having her at his side. Despite the past—or maybe even because of it—Rhiann just fit. But wasn’t that just like history, to haunt a man with the memory of things he couldn’t have, things he shouldn’t have? It liked to jump in when least expected and parade out the memories. Then the heartache mixed with just enough of the good times tempted and teased him into wanting the impossible.
He tucked Levi into his car seat, making sure his restraints were buckled carefully. After climbing in to the driver’s seat next to Rhiann, he finally made eye contact with her. And then he couldn’t look away, even though he knew his eyes were probably giving all his thoughts away to this woman who’d watched him grow from awkward teen to confident doctor.
Her eyes widened as they stared at each other, not speaking...
Rhiann
A horn blared on the level above them, and Patrick jerked his eyes away from hers and threw the car in reverse. He maneuvered the sleek sedan out of the garage without glancing in her direction again.
Wariness filled her, and she was uncertain of his current mindset. Despite that, she would have sworn that he’d been about to kiss her. Again. Because she’d felt the same tension, seen the same look in his eyes, outside the recovery room earlier.
But learning how he kissed had been removed from today’s agenda, it seemed. She sank back into the soft leather seat with a sigh of disappointment.
Patrick shifted at the sound, but didn’t speak.
When they got off at the exit closest to her apartment, she asked again, “Are you sure you don’t mind if we stop at the grocery store?” She hated to push her luck with him when they were finally speaking again. But she really needed him to stop for groceries. “If not, my dinner options for the night will probably be plain ol’ mac and powdered cheese.”
Not her favorite, but that was about all that was left in the cabinets.
Patrick eased the car into a space at the grocery store. His shiny sedan looked out of place next to the dull faded red farm truck he’d parked next to.
He was unbuckling Levi before she could get her thoughts straight.
“You don’t have to go in with me,” she tried to offer. “You and Levi could wait here. I only need a few things.”
She would prefer for them to wait in the car so that she could get the things on her list without the distraction the two of them combined would provide.
“Nah.” Patrick smiled. “He and I could use a little exercise—right, buddy?”
Levi held his arms out to Patrick to be picked up.
Rhiann shook her head and walked into the store. She got a cart and tried to take Levi from Patrick, intending to put him in the seat. But Levi refused, clinging to Patrick like he might disappear forever.
“I don’t mind carrying him.” Patrick stepped past the line of carts with Levi in his arms. “Get what you need. We’ll stay close.”
Her little boy was soaking up all the positive male attention. It hurt her heart to think about how Levi would react when he wasn’t seeing Patrick again, and she sincerely hoped that Patrick wouldn’t push Levi away once he’d completed the surgery. If he did, Levi’s physically broken heart might be emotionally broken.
She’d have to talk to Patrick. Maybe she could convince him to ease his way out of Levi’s life after the surgery, rather than figuratively slamming a door in his face. Was asking him to take her to their appointments and shopping like this going to make it harder on Levi in the future?
She bit her lower lip and mulled that over. The Patrick she’d known and loved for years wouldn’t have thought twice about helping out a friend, but he’d made it crystal-clear that they weren’t friends and he wasn’t that man anymore.
So why did he seem to be enjoying himself so much?
Deciding it might be best not to take up too much of Patrick’s time, Rhiann tried to hurry through her shopping.
She grabbed a couple packages of meat that were on sale while Patrick made animal sounds at Levi, who tried his best to imitate him. The tiny little moos made her smile. Then she picked up some potatoes and a few other fresh veggies as Patrick touched Levi’s hand to some of the produce, letting him feel the differences in texture and describing them to the very interested toddler.
Levi had never shown such interest in fruit and vegetables for her, and yet jealousy didn’t factor in to her emotions at all as she watched how carefully Levi reached out and touched a kiwi.
When they moved on, and Patrick told Levi how awesome he was, and how he was way cuter than any of the babies pictured on the formula cans in front of them, Rhiann fought back tears at how amazing Patrick was being with her son.
Patrick and Levi trailed along behind her as she got in line and unloaded her items onto the belt. With heat flooding her cheeks, she dug a little stack of coupons out of her wallet and double-checked which ones she could use today. After matching them up, she tucked the others safely back into her wallet.
Her pride might be dinged by using her coupons in front of Patrick, but the five bucks she’d save would feed her and Levi for a day. When putting food on the table was a struggle, hunger beat pride any day.
She watched the screen as the teenaged cashier swiped each item across the scanner, wincing when the beeping stopped and the total glared at her in neon green glory. Even with coupons, and what little she had in her bank account right now, she was going to be hard-pressed to pay off the car repairs that she’d already authorized.
She sighed and thought about putting a few things back, but she and Levi had to eat.
“Rhiann, if you need—”
“Shh...” She waved a dismissive hand at Patrick.
She might have had to ask him for a ride, but she would not let him offer her money. The heat on her cheeks was enough to fry an egg, but she would not let him pay for her groceries. She still had a few tendrils of pride left unbroken in her.
She swiped her card and pushed in her pin number without making eye contact with the pimpled cashier or with Patrick. She bagged her purchases before the teenager could begin, placing them in the cart herself. Without a word, she hurried out to Patrick’s car and waited for him and Levi to catch up so that she could load the groceries onto the backseat next to Levi.
; She’d thought having to go to Patrick and beg him to help her son would be the hardest thing for her to do outside of actually letting her child be cut open, but having Patrick know just how far she’d fallen in a few short years might actually be worse.
She swiped at the hot tears leaking freely from her eyes while she waited.
The lock beeped and she grabbed for the door handle blindly. She had the few bags loaded and had returned the cart before Patrick had even gotten Levi buckled in. Sinking down into the passenger seat, she tried to wipe the remnants of her tears from her face before Patrick got into the car.
When he shut his door and looked at her, she cut him off before he could speak. “Things are just really tight with the car repairs and all Levi’s medical expenses. Okay? And that’s all I have to say about it.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
Patrick
EMBARRASSED TENSION ROLLED off Rhiann in palpable waves. She had always been a proud and independent person, and her financial situation had to be eating at her. He wanted to help, but wasn’t sure she’d let him. She’d grown up with very little and had always been self-conscious about the fact. He couldn’t imagine she had changed after being completely on her own for some time now.
After seeing what little groceries she’d bought, and how concerned she seemed over money, Patrick started to calculate potential ways to help her without it seeming like a handout or an insult.
He swung into the parking lot of a local restaurant. “I’m going to grab some dinner to go. What do you want?”
“I can’t afford to eat here.” Her words came out as a low whisper.
“Not what I asked.”
“Just get yourself something. I’m all set.”
She waved toward the three bags of groceries on the backseat, half of which were filled with food for Levi. Her gaze dropped to her hands and she picked at a ragged cuticle rather than look at him.
“Suit yourself.”
He left the car running and went inside to order some takeout. After a rushed glance at the menu, he ordered what he wanted and two more full meals of things he remembered that Rhiann had used to like, plus a trio of desserts as well. By ordering a third meal he could make sure she’d have a solid meal tonight and leftovers for the next day too.
Heart Surgeon's Second Chance Page 6