Where Loyalties Lie

by Ramsower, Jill

  Acting on instinct, I already had my fingers feathered over my own weapon. It was ingrained after too many years in the trenches. I had my gun leveled at her, and the trigger pulled before she even had a chance.

  The shot rang out across the empty street, but I didn’t hear it as I watched her body fall back to the ground, rich crimson blossoming across her chest. Time slowed to a crawl as her body stilled.

  Seeing her motionless on the cracked asphalt made me insane with rage, but I couldn’t let it show. This was not the time or place. With decades of practiced control, I bottled up every unhelpful emotion and tossed them back into the vast ocean, deep inside me.

  “What the fuck, man?” her uncle shouted. “I wanted that bitch alive.”

  My gun still raised, I flung my arm around and redirected my aim at him. One of his guards lifted his pistol and trained it on me. In just a few seconds’ time, our meet had devolved to a standoff in the middle of a residential neighborhood.

  “I had no choice. She was going to shoot me,” I replied calmly, then lowered my gun to help control the situation. “How about you bring us the money, and we’ll be on our way.”

  “Nah, man. I said I wanted her alive.”

  “You backing out of the contract? Because my associates and I don’t take well to that, and we’re not the kind of men you want to piss off.” I spoke with a deadly calm and could feel the wall of menace emanating off my men around me.

  He glared at us, then shouted over his shoulder. “Trae me el dinero.”

  A fourth man stepped from the house with a gray duffel bag. He handed it to Adrián, who tossed it to us in the street.

  “Take your money and get the fuck out. And take that with you. She’s no use to me now.” He spat on the ground in Emily’s direction, then led his men back inside.

  “Clean it up and let’s go,” I murmured, eyeing the neighboring houses for hostiles as I walked back to the car.

  I didn’t watch as Uri and Asaf retrieved the tarp from my duffel bag, then wrapped Emily inside and put her in the trunk. I had known exactly how the day would end, but I still hated to see it. I just wanted to get out of there and put the whole thing behind us.

  Chapter 26

  Emily

  I had hoped dying would be less painful.

  It hurt like a bitch. But even worse than the physical pain was seeing Tamir’s chilling expression as he pulled the trigger. No remorse, no conflict, no question. A single twitch of his finger, and I was flying backward onto the asphalt, his callous glare ripping through me far more ruthlessly than any bullet.

  In such a short amount of time, my treacherous heart had latched onto him. He’d slipped into my bloodstream, like oxygen bonded with my own blood, until there was no eradicating him from my system.

  Despite every warning and logical argument presented by my brain, my heart had forged ahead, leading me down an inevitable path to this exact point in time.

  To my death.

  I couldn’t say I was all that surprised. From the minute I ran, I knew my life was over. Between that bitch, Fate, and her bestie, the Grim Reaper, I never stood a chance. Better to face the music. To turn and fight, rather than cower like a fucking dog. I was just glad I was able to take out some of the evil in the world while I had the chance.

  Fear had been my constant companion for the better part of a year. It was time to kick her to the curb. To hell with the consequences. I knew the second I exited that car what was about to happen.

  I would have liked to have seen my uncle killed in the process, but he needed to stay alive. It was an important part of the plan. And our plan had gone off without a hitch, right down to my tragic death.

  Chapter 27

  Emily

  15 hours earlier

  I wasn’t sure how it was possible to have such visceral, contradictory emotions about another person, but I did. Nothing I felt for Tamir was simple or demure. My need for him was desperate and untamed, but I also harbored enough anger, frustration, and pain to fill a mighty yawning cavern.

  I didn’t know how to reconcile the two.

  I was furious that he had played me. Furious and heartbroken and confused. I couldn’t understand how he could have done such a thing after he’d helped me for weeks. How my heart could fall for someone who was willing to end my life for money. None of it made any sense.

  When I confronted Tamir in the dimly lit entry of the rental house, and he reminded me of all the ways he’d protected and supported me over the prior weeks, my surging anger receded, leaving my drowning heart clamoring for reassurance that it hadn’t been wrong. That I hadn’t given a piece of myself to someone so callous and heartless.

  I recalled snippets of the weeks we’d spent together. The times we’d laughed, and the moments we’d shared. I refused to believe I’d imagined it.

  Even if I had, I wanted one last taste of the illusion.

  If Tamir was set on handing me over, and I had no chance of escape, I wanted to spend my final hours feeling loved, even if it was a lie. I offered myself to him, infusing my kiss with all the bittersweet longing I felt churning inside me. I pleaded with him not to betray me and urged him to surrender himself to the bond that had formed between us, all without a single word. Our communication was purely physical. Instinctive. Primal.

  Back in the bedroom, neither of us lasted more than a handful of minutes. Our hunger for one another had been building too long to burn slow like a candle. We both went off like fireworks, a cataclysmic explosion of pent-up desire.

  After, we lay in my bed on our sides, his muscled form wrapped snugly around mine. My mind drifted from one question to the next, unsure how I’d found myself at this juncture in my life. Of all the things I could be thinking about, the thing that stuck out the most was something totally irrelevant considering my circumstances.

  Tamir hadn’t worn a condom.

  I could feel the sticky residue of our passion slowly seeping from inside me. The reason it garnered my attention was because it highlighted my one big regret in life. I hadn’t gotten around to having children. I’d been lucky enough to help raise Isaac and Averi but hadn’t experienced the joy of bringing my own child into the world. And now, I’d lost that opportunity. Tamir was going to turn me over in less than twenty-four hours, and then, I was a dead woman.

  Tears filled my eyes, and my breathing shuddered.

  “Why are you crying, motek?” Tamir asked softly.

  “There’s just so much I didn’t get to experience in life. I’m not ready to die.” My voice broke, and I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to hide from reality.

  Tamir rolled me onto my back so that he could see me, his brow furrowed. “What are you talking about? Nobody is going to die. You are far too precious to me, and I am far too selfish to let you die.”

  “But … I heard you all talking. You’re going to turn me over for the reward.”

  As understanding dawned, he ran his knuckles along my jaw. “No, no. There’s been a horrible misunderstanding. I’m not letting anything happen to you. I wouldn’t even have you here if it weren’t necessary.”

  I was so confused. “What are you talking about?”

  “I have a plan, but I knew it would worry you, so I hadn’t told you. I figured we’d go over it in the morning, so you’d have less time to stress over it. I’m also not sure you’re going to like it because it doesn’t involve killing your uncle.”

  “If we don’t kill him, then who?”

  “You.” He let the word hang in the air before explaining. “The only way to truly end this is if you are dead, at least, as far as Los Zares is concerned. If they see you die in front of their own eyes, they’ll have no choice but to terminate the contract for your life and move on. It’s tricky, but it’s our best option. In order to make it believable, we’ll have to look like we’re legitimately there to collect on the bounty.”

  “So you truly don’t plan to turn me over?” More tears slipped from my eyes.

 
; Tamir wiped at them, then scattered reverent kisses across my face. “Never. I’d die before I let them have you. Is that what this was about?”

  When our eyes met, I could see how ardently he cared for me. He pulled back the mask he normally wore, and what I saw made it hard to breathe. Respect. Passion. Devotion. He hid nothing, and I was overwhelmed with such honesty.

  I reached up and pulled his face to mine in a grateful, ardent kiss. I was still too shaken to be able to return his exact sentiment, but I hoped the kiss would express that my feelings for him were just as potent and real. When I ended the kiss, Tamir lay back down and pulled me close until my head rested on his chest over his heart.

  Once I had a minute to start processing everything, one question stood out. “How on earth are you going to make it look like I die?”

  He smirked. “Alon has taken up a new career as a stuntman in Hollywood. I went to LA a year ago and watched him in action; he’s actually brilliant at what he does. He brought all the necessary props to make even the most critical eye believe you were shot. You’ll have to pull a gun on me in an escape attempt. I’ll have mine loaded with blanks and will fire at you the second you raise your gun. Alon will trigger the gunshot props. The only other crucial element is your ability to pull off the necessary acting, and I happen to know you are rather adept in that department.” He was teasing me, but I still felt embarrassed. Between pretending to be an entirely different person for WitSec and all the half-truths I’d fed Tamir while we were together, it was any wonder he trusted me at all. It was a good reminder that nobody was perfect.

  I’d overheard parts of their conversation but been unable to hear the entire plan when they finished their discussion back in the master bedroom. From what I did hear, I had assumed the worst. I was confident most people would have responded the same as I had—the evidence had appeared awfully damning.

  “I suppose that sounds like a good plan, but I hate that my uncle gets away again. I’d wanted the feds to get him, but I had no direct proof of his involvement in the trafficking like I had my father’s. But I knew. There was no way in hell he wasn’t involved. He’s an evil man, and the world would be a far better place without him.”

  “We need him alive to end the search for you. He’s your biggest threat but also your only way out. I knew how important his death is to you, which is also why I hesitated to tell you my true plan. The most important part is getting you out of danger. We can handle your uncle later.”

  I nodded, and we both kept to our thoughts for long minutes as I processed what I’d learned. So much had changed, and I appeared to be breaking free of Los Zares, but was any of it even necessary? It ate at me until I had to say something.

  “I can’t help but think if you’d never staged my attack and come after me, I’d probably never have been found. It was a crazy coincidence that we already knew each other, but what were the chances anyone else would happen to find me? I could have been fine in New York forever.” I didn’t want to point fingers, but it was an important fact that needed to be discussed.

  He breathed out a long sigh. “I’ve carried so much guilt over that fact, and I have no defense. All I can do is tell you how sorry I am. But I also want you to know that I still think this is necessary. I debated the entire time we were at the cabin about whether I should tell you the truth and simply send you back to the city. Once you told me the full extent of your involvement in Los Zares, I knew you would never be truly safe unless we faced them.”

  I nodded. “That’s true. I felt it every day back in the city. I couldn’t get comfortable knowing they were probably searching for me. Stephanie assured me I would settle eventually, but I couldn’t imagine it. As it was, I felt like I was already half dead, constantly terrified of my own shadow and hiding out in my apartment.”

  We both lost ourselves in thought for one pregnant moment until his rumbling voice broke the silence.

  “I thought you were shutting me out because of Asaf, that you couldn’t forgive me for such a manipulation. But you thought I was going to let them kill you. That’s why you were saying goodbye,” he mused somberly.

  I nodded against his chest. “I can’t totally fault you for the ploy with Asaf. I would never have told you what was going on in my life without a compelling reason, and it wasn’t like I didn’t lie to you as well. Now, if I were Asaf … I’d be awfully pissed at you for knocking me out.”

  His chest rumbled with gentle laughter. “He wasn’t knocked out, but he did bitch me out for hitting him harder than necessary. I got a little carried away when I saw how rough he’d been with you.”

  I had to smile when I imagined the surly Asaf grumbling to himself after we left that alley. I didn’t feel too bad about it. He did put a decent scratch on my cheek and scare the shit out of me. Once I thought about it, I was a little disappointed he hadn’t been knocked out.

  “After that”—I continued my thought process aloud—“you stole me away to your cabin. Why on earth did we have to spend two whole weeks in the wilderness if there was no real threat?”

  My head rose and fell as Tamir took a deep breath.

  “A mix of reasons. Curiosity. Intrigue. Parts of your story didn’t add up, but I wasn’t sure if that was relevant to the bounty on you or not. If I’m honest with myself, all of it was, in good part, founded in my desire to keep you and had very little to do with you being on the run. I wanted to get to know you and learn all your secrets. I still do. I want to know every little thing about you.”

  Tamir slipped from beneath me again and rolled on his side, peering down at me from where he leaned on his elbow. “None of this is ideal, but I want you to know that I wouldn’t have changed a thing because in these weeks, I’ve fallen in love with you, Emily. Your perseverance and strength are the fucking sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. You’re optimistic in the darkest of circumstances, and your passion for life is inspiring. There’s no need to make any long-term decisions now. Just know that I’m not going anywhere.”

  My breathing shuddered at the full impact of his words. A storm of emotions raced through my veins, but I wasn’t sure what to think. Tamir had admitted he loved me, and I had deeply complex feelings for him, but he was an assassin. He was firmly planted in a world I’d given up everything to escape.

  How would I be honoring that sacrifice if I walked straight back into a life of crime?

  Tamir kissed at my tears. “Let’s get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow.”

  I started to turn onto my side but paused. “If everything works out tomorrow and I do manage to live through this—”

  “Don’t even go there. I wasn’t joking when I said I would die before I let them touch you.”

  His sincerity brought my heart into my throat. “Well, when it’s over, do you think we can go by my tita’s grave before we leave town? I’d like to give her a final goodbye.”

  He smiled softly. “I think that can be arranged.”

  Chapter 28

  Emily

  The heavy plastic felt as if it was trying to suffocate the life from me. I couldn’t move, pinned with my arms at my sides in the pitch-black confinement of the trunk. I had to keep my cool, but it took every ounce of mental strength not to panic. It was important for Tamir to make sure we weren’t being followed before he could stop and let me out. Fortunately, the cool December air removed the threat of heatstroke, which would have been a real danger had we done this when it was any warmer.

  When the car eventually came to a stop, frantic hands unwrapped the tarp and extracted me from the trunk. Tamir checked me over with clinical precision before taking a deep breath and meeting my eyes. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded. “Just glad to be out of there. We did it, right? It’s over?”

  He ran his fingers through my hair, pulling our foreheads together. “It’s over.”

  The words seemed so much more finite than they truly were. My troubles with Los Zares might have been over, but things with Tamir were
far more uncertain.

  He placed a kiss on my forehead, then directed me to the back seat of the Escalade. We were in an alley downtown, secluded from view while we switched vehicles. Uri took the silver car to the rental place while the rest of us made our way back to the house. Once we were safely there, Tamir helped me remove the bullet wound rigging Alon had secured to my chest and back so that I could shower off the crusted fake blood. By the time I got out, Uri was back with food.

  We toasted to the completion of a successful mission with two Texas originals, Dr. Pepper and Whataburger. As I gazed at their smiling faces, I realized that, after only a short time together, they felt almost like family. Something about sharing a near-death experience brought people closer together, so I could only imagine the bond these men shared after serving in the military together. Tamir might have seemed like a loner, but he had a support system anyone would envy.

  He followed me back to my bedroom after I excused myself for the night. I curled up under the covers, giving him room to sit on the edge of the bed. We’d had sex the night before, and he’d told me he loved me, but we were far from ready to jump into being a couple. I felt awkward about not being able to return his sentiment, but at least he was gracious enough to give me the room I needed.

  “What’s the plan from here?” I asked.

  “We need to book some flights home, and in the meantime, I thought we’d go to the cemetery first thing in the morning when we’re less likely to run into anyone.”

  “Home?”

  “There’s no reason you can’t still live in New York. As you mentioned, no one there knows your past. You can claim a family emergency and slip right back into the life you had started for yourself.”

  I chewed on my lip, hesitant to accept that it could be that simple. The room filled with the debilitating weight of the words that were going unspoken until I caved to the pressure. “What about us? What happens when we go back?”