Shane

by Wasowski, Mary

My beautiful wife was still asleep beside me, and I wasn’t sure if her smile from the night before ever faded. Shelby was a natural beauty, never needing a lot of makeup to enhance what she was born with. And when she was at peace, that’s when she never looked more beautiful. Her long eyelashes were sweeping across her face, and her nose would twitch every once in a while, and that’s when I knew she was dreaming of something happy.

  It was just about eight o’clock when I finally got up from our warm bed. I’d been watching her for hours and appreciating the life I still had with her. I didn’t want to live in the past and relive over and over again the hurt that had dragged us down. We had much to live for, and now with Wyatt in our lives, it gave all the more reason to move forward.

  I slowly opened the door to the guest room which would be transformed into our little boy’s room after tomorrow. He was asleep wrapped up in blankets and with good old Tinker beside him. Tink was a golden retriever whom we rescued about six years back. He’d been a great friend to our family in the times we really needed one, and I wasn’t so sure how much life he had left in him, but with the arrival of an energetic seven-year-old, he seemed reborn and had taken over the role as his best friend. He raised his head up in a protective stance, and then he came over to me for praise.

  “Good boy, you keep an eye on Wyatt, okay?” He didn’t bark, just gave me the look of understanding and took his place beside Wyatt’s bed.

  I skipped making the coffee and just headed straight to the barn to saddle up Yankee. I had so much life in my lungs this morning, and I knew the moment my boots hit the bottom floor, a long ride was calling my name.

  I made it to the oak tree, the very same tree where Jamie had tried to explain for me all of life’s meanings in his whimsical ways. While Yankee drank from the river, I placed my palms against the tree and closed my eyes to bring me back to that day with Jamie. I would do anything to hear his voice again.

  I felt my body slowly lowering to the ground, and then with my palms still against the tree, I placed my forehead on it and prayed.

  “I need you, Jamie, more than I ever have before. It feels as if my faith has been restored in all things, and I don’t even know how to begin to say thank you for this gift I have been given. Please, Jamie, give me some kind of sign to tell me that everything is going to be okay tomorrow. It’s not just a dream, it’s a reality.”

  I don’t know what I was expecting to happen right then and there, but I turned and sat down on the cold, hard ground and closed my eyes. Yankee was in his glory just relaxing by the river, while I breathed in the clean mountain air and reflected for a bit before heading back home.

  When my body finally relaxed, a force of energy swept through me. I felt as if I was flying. My eyes blinked open, and that’s when I saw him walking toward me through the mist coming off the water. I closed my eyes again and willed whatever hallucination was happening to me to just go away, but then I heard his voice. I wasn’t transported back into a comforting memory in my past. He was here with me now.

  “Jamie? How are you here?” I said, and then sprang up to my feet and looked all around me, but no one else was here. It was just Jamie.

  “Don’t you know, Shane?”

  I could hardly catch my breath, and then instead of answering his question, I just closed my eyes again, not believing for one second that this was real.

  “Open your eyes, Shane. Look at me.”

  I heard his voice as clear as day, and then my eyes opened as if I no longer had control over them. They were staring right back at my best friend and brother.

  “There you are. Now, back to your question. I’m here because you called for me from the deepest part of your heart and soul. I don’t do this often. It’s not as easy as you think, so let’s make this time count.”

  “Jamie, I’m out of my fucking mind right now.”

  “Watch your mouth, the big guy upstairs frowns on that.”

  “Oh my…”

  “Whoa! He doesn’t like that either.”

  “Sorry,” I found myself saying, and then I shook my head trying to shake the crazy from my mind.

  “So, now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk. I have a clock on me, so I’m going to tell you what you think you need to hear.”

  “Jamie, of all the times I have prayed for you, I can’t believe this is happening right now. Of all the people you could have dropped in on, you choose me. Why?”

  “You needed me the most, it’s that simple. I hear your prayers. It’s kind of hard turning it off. I’m not going to explain how it all works. I think you already know. If you truly didn’t believe, then I surely would not be here right now.”

  “It’s really you?”

  “Yeah, brother, I’m here.”

  Without another thought, I reached for Jamie and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. I didn’t want him to go. He looked the same. He sounded the same. He was here because I needed him to be. What did I say before about divine intervention? Yeah, that theory is moot at this point.

  We walked down by the river, and as we got closer to the water, Yankee kicked up on his hind legs and neighed aloud. Did he sense Jamie here too? As Jamie got closer to the horse, a calm washed over Yankee, and he nudged into Jamie’s shoulder. I had never seen anything like this and probably would never be able to make anyone understand what my eyes were seeing today. This was a miracle having Jamie here with me.

  “There now, settle down, boy. Yeah, you’re a good horse,” he said as he ran his hand down his neck. “So, let’s get to it. I don’t have too much time left. You remember the last time we were down by this river, don’t you, Shane?”

  “I do. It was the best day with you and also the hardest because I knew time was running out, and then you died.”

  “Yeah, I did, and believe me when I say it was not easy to leave all of you, but it was just my time, and long before I crossed over to the spirit world, my destiny was already planned out for me. I was given the gift of time when Tenley saved my life. It was only right, in the end, to give Tenley the same gift. As you can see, it all worked out, because she’s happily married to Jagger and they have a beautiful son, aptly named after me. It doesn’t get better than that. Now, we come to you.”

  “What about me?”

  “Don’t you know? You had quite the year running, hiding, and burying all those feelings of yours while the pain and loss of your son just piled on top of you.”

  “Don’t remind me.”

  “How can I not, when you are still hanging on to it? You say you let it go. Well, prove it. You have this amazing chance to become a father to this beautiful boy, and just watching over Shelby, I know she’s higher than the sun in the sky. You need to stop questioning and begin believing. You all think I am an extension of God himself, but I’m not. Sure, it’s good for the ego, but I’m simply Jamie. I’m your brother and best friend, and I will always have your back; it’s just from another place. There are just some things in life that you may never have the answers to, and that’s okay. Tenley made her peace with my dying when she finally allowed herself to let the past go. No one could predict my cancer coming back, just like no one could predict what happened to your son. I will say: Ryder is okay, Shane. I’m looking out for him.”

  I could not see anything past my tears. Every word Jamie was saying was ripping through my body like a freight train, but not in a bad way. He was giving me peace, the peace he knew I yearned for, and now I finally had it. I wiped my eyes, and then I didn’t see him anymore.

  “Jamie, Jamie, where are you?” I called out to him.

  “I’m here, Shane. Turn around.” It was a bright colorful mist with light all around him. It was Jamie. “I have to go, Shane, but I promise you that I am never too far away. Just find my star in the sky, and I’ll show you the way. When you can, give my love to my parents and Tenley. Find a way to show Jagger and my little nephew too. And then, tell your son about me and show him our life in pictures. I’m sure he will get a k
ick out of it. We were just a bunch of kids living and loving life here on this ranch. It’s where our soul bleeds into the earth, and it comes alive after the frost melts and the first sign of spring appears. Yeah, tell him about me when you’re ready.”

  “Jamie, I want to tell you…” I got choked up and couldn’t find the words to say to him as he slowly faded and floated away from me.

  “I know, brother. It’s one thing I have always been certain of. Take care of your family. Let them take care of you. It’s all going to be alright, I promise you, Shane. I have to go now.”

  I wiped away my tears and ran as fast as I could toward him, but he just drifted further and further away.

  “I love you, Jamie!” I shouted into thin air.

  I no longer could see him, but I still felt his strong presence as if he was standing right beside me. I wiped away my tears, and then I heard his final words to me.

  “I’ll see you in your dreams.”

  My eyes blinked open, and I looked all around me to find myself completely alone. My horse was still where I left him grazing on the grass. I placed my head back on the tree and then looked up to the sky.

  “Yeah, brother, I’ll see you in my dreams.” And then I left for home to be where I belonged: with Shelby and Wyatt.

  My family.

  Shane

  I knew last night when I had finally managed to fall asleep that today would either be the happiest day of our lives or the worst, pending on what the judge says to us. I had been reassured over and over again that we didn’t have anything to worry about. Wyatt’s grandmother moved forward with relinquishing her rights and had approved us to be Wyatt’s adoptive parents.

  When Shelby asked if this was real, I gave her the only answer I could, and that was yes. I knew I doubted myself and the legal hoops Tenley jumped through to make this happen. I just wouldn’t be calm until we walked out of the courthouse with Wyatt as our son.

  I looked at my watch again and ran my fingers through my hair. I was wearing my best suit and traded in the cowboy boots for a pair of loafers. Yeah, I was totally out of my element here with the wardrobe my wife picked out, but I was the agreeable husband and did as she asked. Lord knew our family needed a win, and it had been a long time coming. As we sat in the hallway waiting to be called, I began fidgeting with my watch again.

  “Baby, will you stop it? Everything is going to be alright,” Shelby said as she placed her hand on mine. “I’m sure they are just running a little late.”

  Looking over to my parents playing with Wyatt, I tried my hardest to tamper down my anxiety. “Our hearing was supposed to begin fifteen minutes ago. Why hasn’t anyone come out to talk to us?”

  “I’m not sure, but let’s not go there with worry. Let’s just try to relax and wait for all parties to arrive.” She let out a deep breath as she said it and tightened her hold on my hand. Yeah, she was nervous too and could not hide her feelings from me, but I went along with it for her sake. Just when I was about to lose my mind, I saw Tenley walking toward us with her briefcase in hand.

  “Good morning. How are you all doing?” she asked.

  “Better, now that you’re here. We’ve been waiting for what seems like forever, and we didn’t know what was happening,” I practically shouted and then reigned myself back in.

  “Shane, the court begins at nine am, and you are first on Judge Clayton’s docket. He’s never late. You’re just early.”

  Looking at my watch again, I felt totally foolish and then looked back to Tenley, who was practically laughing at me. “Okay, I’m sorry,” I said. “I guess we did arrive earlier than we needed to.”

  “It’s fine. Let’s start over, okay?” I nodded and then smiled at my friend.

  “Good morning, Shelby. How are you doing? Are you nervous like this guy?” Tenley smiled, gesturing right over to me. I wiped my brow, and then she winked at me, giving me her assurance that all would be okay.

  “Good morning. No, I’m actually feeling pretty good right now,” she said and then stepped up to hug Tenley. They exchanged a few pleasantries, and then it was back to business for Tenley.

  “Okay, Roberta is with Judge Clayton. They are in his chambers going over all the paperwork. I can assure you everything is good to go, and I promise you without a doubt in my mind that everything will go accordingly today. You are going to be asked several questions, and then the judge will talk with Wyatt and make his formal ruling. Wyatt is a very smart little boy, and I’m sure the judge will be impressed by him.” She was going to say more, but then her phone buzzed in her pocket. “You ready? Because this is it.”

  My parents walked over and handed off Wyatt to us. My dad looked so happy, growing into his role as a proud grandfather. “We love you, son. You just go in there and show that judge who we are as a family. I’ve never been prouder.”

  “Thanks, pop, I needed to hear that. And if I don’t say it enough, thank you for showing me the way in times when I had my eyes closed and didn’t know if I was coming or going. You have been an amazing role model for me, and I can only hope I will be half the father to Wyatt as you have been for me.”

  “You’ll be better.”

  Hand in hand, we all walked into the judge’s chambers, feeling united as we were about to become a family.

  The judge was older in a more distinguished way. He finished reading the file and then took his black framed glasses off and crossed his hands over each other onto his desk.

  We all filed in, with Shelby by my side and my parents standing behind me. Tenley was with Roberta, and just as the door began to close, Jagger came barreling in. He was fixing his tie as he nearly tripped over himself. The Fairchild’s were next, along with the Parishes. We were practically shoulder to shoulder standing all together in the judge’s chambers, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. We were this big family, and no matter what, we supported the other. With everyone here with us today, I felt nothing but love and so much pride.

  “Come in, come in, please. Everyone, please call attention. Welcome. So, Shane and Shelby Rhodes, you understand by signing this adoption agreement form, you agree to take care of Wyatt as your own legal child?”

  “We do.”

  “You will care for providing for his health, welfare, and educational needs?”

  “We do, your honor.”

  “Wyatt, do you agree to this adoption? Do you want the Rhodes to become your mother and father?”

  “Yes! I love them so much, and Joker too!” We all laughed and hugged him.

  “Okay, if there isn’t anything else to add, let’s make this official.”

  “Your honor, before you do that I would just like to introduce myself. I’m Kip Rhodes, and to my left is my beautiful wife, Kathleen. We are Shane’s parents. I just…no, we want to go on record promising you and this court that we will take our role very seriously when it comes to being grandparents to this child. We love him very much, and we will do everything to make sure his life is filled with love, hope, and promises for an amazing life.”

  I wiped a tear from my eye as Shelby did too. I mouthed “Thank you” to my parents as they stood tall and smiled back over to the judge. He was about to continue, and that’s when Brock and Connie introduced themselves and told the judge how happy we all are that Wyatt has come into our lives. He too promised to always be there for my son. Last but not least, Ren and Ellen said their peace, and by the time they finished, the room erupted in tears, laughter, and smiles that could not be contained.

  Tenley remained quiet with her silent unshed tears. I knew she was thinking of Jamie and how he was probably looking down on all of us today. When our eyes connected, she smiled and then looked back over to the judge. Jagger squeezed her shoulders, and then he was the last one to state his promises for our son.

  “Well, judge, there you have it. This is the only way we know how to be, and that’s always united and connected with the love we have for one another. I promise you that I will be the best uncle I know how
to be for Wyatt. He’s already a cousin to our young son, James Lucas, and I can’t wait to show these boys all the amazing things our fathers taught us being raised up on this ranch.”

  Judge Clayton looked all around his crowded chambers and smiled and looked back over to Wyatt to address him personally.

  “It’s quite the family you are coming into. Are you ready, son, to make it official?”

  “I am!” he shouted excitedly.

  “Alright. On this date…” he began to say, “Shane and Shelby Rhodes have officially adopted Wyatt Adam Rhodes. You’re now legally their child. You have all the rights to any natural child. I will hereby sign this order confirming the adoption.”

  The room erupted with applause, tears of joy, and a lot of hugs to go around. We all shook the judge’s hands as he wished us well as the new family we had just become.

  Shelby could not stop crying as she hugged Wyatt. I wrapped them both in one of my famous bear hugs and said simply, “Let’s go home.”

  I had taken the rest of the week off, and the three of us spent time solely with one another. We were in the winter months, but although it was cold outside, we found so many things to do. We took Wyatt riding along the trails that we used for the campers. We explored Jackson Hole and even went skiing. For a beginner, Wyatt was a natural. Shelby was holding her breath as we eased our way down the bunny trail. Once we reached the bottom, he asked if we could go again. Next to marrying Shelby, and our honeymoon that followed, this was the best week of my life. A memory of my family that I would always cherish.

  I had so much to be thankful for, I could hardly find where to begin. I knew I had time to count my blessings. It was just the three of us. We were a family, and life was perfect.

  When we resumed our life on the ranch, I began my day with my usual routine. I kissed my beautiful wife goodbye and promised to be back in time for breakfast. Next, I walked into our son’s room, where he slept with his faithful companion, Tinker. He just looked up at me with his big brown eyes and moved closer to his boy. I patted Tinker’s head and leaned down to kiss my son. I had no worries with Tinker around. He would protect his charge with everything he had in him.