Shane

by Wasowski, Mary

  I made my way down to my truck, and there was Jagger waiting for me with a thermos of coffee.

  “Am I late?” I asked.

  “No, you’re right on time. I figured a ride was in order this morning.”

  “Jag, it’s freezing out here, and if you haven’t noticed, we have a ranch to run.”

  “Yup, got it covered. Yankee is ready to go, along with She-devil. You don’t want my lady to wait now, do you?” he raised up the thermos to me. I shook my head no and followed my crazy best friend.

  I said good morning to my horse. Damn, he was feisty this morning. I made sure everything was secure on Yankee and my pack had everything I needed. I mounted my horse and began our journey to god knows where. Jagger was like the Cheshire cat with the stupid grin he was wearing. I noticed he had more gear than me.

  “Just tell me one thing,” I inquired.

  “Go on.”

  “We’re not going ice fishing again, are we?”

  “Maybe,” he said, and then he gave She-devil her signal and took off like a bolt of lightning.

  I gave him a head start and then motioned to Yankee to do the same. As we rode, I couldn’t wait to experience this with Wyatt. He had already taken to ranch life, and along with skiing, he was a natural on a horse. He loved Joker, and the feeling was returned. A boy and his horse: there’s nothing better than that.

  “Come on, Shane, are you getting slow in your old age?” he called out.

  “Fuck you, you wish,” I shouted back with Jagger baiting me to accept the challenge. “Let’s go, Yankee!” And we were off! It felt like flying anytime I was on my horse, and the feeling never got old for any of us.

  We rode to our usual spot down by the river. The horses rested while I enjoyed a cup of coffee to warm myself up.

  “Thanks, Jag, for today. It’s great up here.”

  “No need to thank me. You needed this.”

  “I did?” I said questioningly.

  “Yes, you did. We get so caught up in our work here on the ranch that sometimes we forget the fun stuff. I know you just had a great vacation with the family, but this today was for you and me. I remember coming up here after James Lucas was born, and I think I just sat up here all day, thanking the universe for the gift I had been given. I figured you might want to do the same thing.”

  “I’m a father, Jagger. And it’s not a dream!”

  “Yes, you are. How does it feel?”

  “Amazing,” I replied with a smile so wide, my cheeks hurt.

  Shelby

  “So, tell me about motherhood. It’s been quite the whirlwind for you and for Shane, and now you have a son,” said Dr. Whitfield.

  It had been a while since I had a one-on-one session with my therapist. Things had been amazing since adopting Wyatt, and I almost didn’t want to tempt fate by coming here and rehashing our past.

  “It’s wonderful, Dr. Whitfield, just the most amazing thing I have in my life.”

  “And…Shane? How is he adjusting to fatherhood?”

  “He’s amazing, so hands on with Wyatt. He never said so, but I believe he embraced Wyatt as our son from the moment he found him on our ranch. We had so many signs pointing us in the right direction that we just couldn’t question it. I feel whole again. I just can’t express it any more than that.”

  “Shelby, I am very happy for you and for Shane. It seems adopting was a right fit for your family. I guess what I want to know is if you are having any unresolved feelings about losing Ryder to adopting Wyatt.”

  “I know where this is headed, and I can promise you that I am not doing that. You can’t replace children. I will always keep our son in my heart, but I never believed there was no room for anyone else.”

  “Okay, I believe you. I want you to know that I am always here for you, and for Shane, but it seems I am not needed anymore at this time. I’m very happy for you.”

  I got up to give her a hug and felt completely right in my decision to complete my therapy. Shane had stopped going months ago, and if he wanted to confide in Wendy, all he had to do was call or visit her. My time with Dr. Whitfield was reserved for me and the things I couldn’t say to Shane, at least at first. Now, we were more than okay, and it almost felt perfect.

  As I made my way through town, I stopped at the local coffee shop. It was called Beans, a very hip and chic place. It was usually very busy with patrons, especially people that worked in town and near the hospital. I was lucky to catch a parking spot. I ordered my latte and browsed on my phone when a familiar voice called out to me.

  “Hi! I thought that was you!”

  I turned around to see our caseworker, Roberta. She was also waiting in line and invited me to sit and join her for a minute. Before I could say yes, our orders were called out, and she looked around the café for a table for us.

  I didn’t move. I felt paralyzed with fear and tried to calm myself down before I made a fool of myself in front of our caseworker. Who knows how she was reading me at the moment? This could be a normal reaction for her in the line of work she does. I sipped my latte and she continued on as if we’ve been friends for years.

  “Well, this is a welcomed surprise. I was just thinking of you today and was going to call you once I got back to my office, and now, here you are.” She said happily.

  I was apprehensive from the moment I heard her voice. It always weighed heavily in the back of my mind how quickly everything was moved along, and I still never knew the role in which Tenley made all that happen. Still, Shane assured me to leave it alone, and I did, right up to this moment.

  “Relax, Shelby. You look a little green.” She laughed and then took a sip of her coffee.

  “Am I that obvious? I guess you took me by surprise.”

  “As I mentioned, I was going to call you. It’s been six months, and I was simply going to check in with you. And to see how Wyatt is doing, especially after Rosie’s passing.”

  I was taken back on the mention of his maternal grandmother. We were deeply saddened when we heard the news of her death. She never did have the opportunity to come back to the ranch to visit Wyatt. She developed an infection shortly after the adoption was finalized and died several days later in the hospital.

  “Roberta, let’s take a seat.” I gestured over to a corner table, and again my apprehension returned. “We never told Wyatt about Rosie, and we feel it’s best to continue focusing on our family and our future. He never knew their connection, and he’s so young to go through that level of loss.”

  “Shelby, I understand your reasons to a degree, but to Wyatt, she was his friend. Even if it was for only a short time, she was in his life and he cared about her. Hasn’t he wondered why she hasn’t been in contact with him?”

  “Actually, no. Like I said, we focus on us and not the past.” I knew I sounded like a total bitch, but my insides were screaming at me to run home and grab Wyatt before she could take him away.

  “If I may offer some advice, I would suggest you re-visit your decision. It is your choice to tell him about Rosie, but I feel it’s in his best interest to know the truth. You can decide what that truth will be. He’s been through a lot and deserves this chance to finally be a part of a real family, that’s all Rosie ever wanted for her grandson. I’m just sorry she is no longer with us to see that happen. Despite the wrong choices her daughter made, Rosie was a good and kind woman. Please keep that in mind. Okay, back to my original question. How is Wyatt? Does he enjoy school?”

  “It took a little time getting him adjusted to school, and then once he was, it was summer time. It’s very busy during that time of year on the ranch, but I didn’t want him to fall behind again, so I had him tutored the entire summer a couple of days a week, which proved to be instrumentally positive for him. I know it’s only second grade, but he is flourishing in his class and he loves his teacher and has already made some good friends.”

  “Yes, I know, and that is wonderful to hear.”

  “How do you know?”

&
nbsp; “Shelby, I get reports on every area of Wyatt’s life for at least the first year of his adoption. It’s all been arranged through your lawyer, Tenley Fairchild. I just wanted to ask you personally. It’s wonderful to hear how great he is doing. You are a great mom. Furthermore, I will say how thrilled I am with the reports I’ve been getting. He’s perfect for his growth scale, and that makes me so happy. His report card was excellent, and I received a few family pictures that are now hanging on my ‘Hall of Fame Wall’ down at my office. I could not be happier for you.”

  “Thank you.” I could barely pass the words over my lips. I was reeling from this unexpected but friendly encounter when all I intended to do was get a coffee and return home to my happy life. Sitting here with Roberta made me feel as if I was under the microscope.

  She looked down at her watch and then finished off her coffee. “It’s getting late and I have appointments this afternoon. How about I stop by early next week? I will have my assistant call you.”

  “Sure, I’ll make it happen.”

  “Great, and I would like to speak with Shane and Wyatt too.”

  “Um, Wyatt will be in school. Can it be just us?”

  “Unfortunately, no. Home visits include all parties involved. Please don’t stress about it. I know everything is fine. This is just routine. I have to run.”

  It took everything for me to fight the bile rising in my throat. I called home to the ranch and asked Kathleen to pick up Wyatt from the bus stop. There was someone I needed to see before going home. Her office wasn’t too far from the coffee shop. I knew she worked in town several days a week, and just my luck today was the right day. I didn’t want any scenes at her home, and I prayed I could keep my emotions in check at her office. I hoped she would see me since I was dropping in without an appointment. I loved Tenley as a sister and tried hard to make amends with her since adopting Wyatt. She always gave me the same answer anytime I broached the uncomfortable subject with her about our argument and the harsh things I said to her.

  She repeatedly warned me to forget about it and move on. I tried very hard to do that. With unexpectedly seeing Roberta today, all those insecurities were back, and I just needed to talk to her.

  I was on her turf now, and it could be very intimidating. Shane said that when she’s in her lawyer zone, she can be difficult and not always welcoming. Let’s hope that was not true today. I stepped off the elevator to her floor and walked down the long corridor. Once I was inside, I was greeted by her personal assistant.

  “Hello, may I help you?” she asked politely enough and right to the point.

  “Yes, I’m Shelby Rhodes, a friend of Ms. Fairchild’s. Is she in?”

  “She is, but with a client. She should be finished in about twenty minutes or so. Do you mind waiting?”

  “I don’t mind.”

  “Great. I’ll pass her a note and let her know you are here. May I offer you a beverage while you wait?”

  “No, thank you. I’m fine.”

  I took a seat on one of the two soft leather couches that were in the guest lounge. Her office was gorgeous. Fine art was displayed along the walls, and because her office was on the top floor, the windows displayed the morning and afternoon sun with gorgeous mountain views in the background.

  I texted Shane that I was still running errands and not to worry. He responded quickly and told me everything was covered at home. I knew that once I arrived home I would have to explain my run-in with Roberta and my impromptu visit with Tenley.

  After nearly forty minutes of waiting, Tenley finally emerged from her office. She barely glanced over my way and then said her goodbyes to her smiling clients. After they stepped onto the elevator, she talked with her assistant and then walked back into her office.

  “Mrs. Rhodes, Ms. Fairchild needs to take an overseas call. Do you mind waiting?”

  This was bullshit! But I was the one that showed up on her doorstep, so I agreed and sat back down. Lucky for me, her call only took an additional ten minutes, and then I was told to go in. She was typing away on her laptop when I took a seat in front of her desk.

  “Be right with you. I just have to finish this e-mail and then…send. Okay, now that that’s done, hello, Shelby. What can I do for you?”

  “Hi, Tenley. Can we drop the formalities and just talk? I need a friend now, not a lawyer.”

  She leaned back in her chair and said, “Well, in case you forgot, I am both to you, and you are interrupting my workday. So, if you wanted a personal conversation, then we could have this back at my home or your home, not here in my downtown office.”

  “Point made as ever. Okay, you got me. I was in town after an appointment, and I ran into Roberta at the coffee shop.”

  “And? What does that have to do with me?”

  “It doesn’t, until the subject of Wyatt came up. Why didn’t you tell me that you are providing reports to her office about my family?”

  “As your lawyer, it is my job to maintain a relationship with the state on your behalf. I am also friends with Roberta, and although your adoption of Wyatt has been finalized and closed, it is not unheard of to periodically check in with the adoptive family within the first calendar year. And, for your information, it’s not a secret. You have been given copies of everything I have sent to her office. Do you even look through your mail?” Tenley’s tone was almost mocking.

  “I guess I’ve been too busy being a mother to Wyatt. I will read them when I get home,” I snapped back.

  “I’m a mother as well, and a very busy one. Get to your point of this visit. I really need to get back to work, so I can return home to my son.”

  “Tenley, it always seems we get off on the wrong foot, and that’s probably my fault, but seeing Roberta today took me by surprise. She asked me if I had told Wyatt about Rosie, and I don’t think she was happy that I chose not to tell him about her death.”

  “Look, that’s your decision, yours and Shane’s. I reserve no judgment on that subject. The only thing I have done is provide the standard requirement to her office. She’s more than pleased with Wyatt’s acclimation and progress. In another six months, you will never have to see or speak with her again, if you choose to do so.”

  “So, when she visits the ranch next week, will you be there?”

  “In what capacity? Personal or professional?”

  “A little bit of both, I guess.”

  “Let me know when, and I will check my schedule. Do yourself a favor and try to relax and just behave accordingly as if it was any other day. She’s on your side, and so am I, for that matter. When are you going to realize that?”

  “I apologize. I won’t take up any more of your time.” I got up to leave, and that’s when she stopped me.

  “Shelby, I’m not the enemy here. I never was. Please remember that the next time you hug your precious little boy.”

  I could hardly breathe. My mind reeled in a million directions at the hidden meaning she was trying to get across to me. Once my voice returned, I managed to say, “I will,” and then I got out of there as fast as my feet could take me.

  I had always known there was more to Tenley than meets the eye, and although she said she was no longer the person she once was while in New York, her words today obliterated that. I knew without a doubt that Tenley Fairchild did the impossible and made my dream of becoming a mother a reality. I also knew she was not one to be crossed and also could have the power to decimate my life if she wanted to. After Shane confronted me after speaking with Tenley, he was angry with me but not enough where he couldn’t forgive me for what I had done. I was never quite sure how much Shane knew of my confrontation with Tenley. He was angry about my asking her to bend the rules in our favor, but he never said more than that. I knew bringing up something so personal about Shane to Tenley was wrong, and one point, I believed he may have known and just chose never to tell me until I saw the look on Tenley’s face today, and it was confirmed.

  She never told him. She protected Shane, her be
st friend, and his feelings. In choosing to remain quiet, she also protected me. I was such a bitch to Tenley, and she never deserved it.

  God! I hated to feel this way about someone Shane loved and cared about so much. It made me feel weak and petty with all my insecurities rising up to the surface again.

  My nerves were just rattled after seeing and talking to Roberta. I was totally fine up until that moment, and I would be again. Tenley was right. I just had to relax and behave as I had been…happy.

  As I pulled up to our house, Shane was tossing the football to Wyatt, as Kip and Jagger were talking on our porch. I let out a calming breath and put on my best smile to greet my boys.

  “Mommy!” Wyatt shouted excitedly.

  “Hey, baby, how was your day?” I asked as I scooped him up into my arms.

  “It was great. Grandma surprised me at the bus stop and took me for ice cream before coming home.”

  “She did? Ice cream before dinner?”

  “Oops! I wasn’t supposed to tell you that.” He laughed, and then I laughed too.

  “It’s okay. I won’t tell. Why don’t you go inside and wash up for dinner, okay?”

  “Okay, mommy.” He gave me another hug and then tossed the football back to Shane.

  “Game over, daddy! Rematch tomorrow?”

  “You know it!” Shane called out. “Hey, you, where have you been? I’m starving.”

  “For?”

  “You have to ask?” he kissed me soundly on my lips, and then our audience was hooting and hollering behind us.

  “I guess I know, but after your entourage leaves and a certain seven-year-old is sound asleep up in his room.”

  “I can’t wait.”

  I chatted with Kip and Jagger for a few minutes, and then Kip walked down to the barn with Shane to look over one of our new horses. Jagger was about to leave himself, and then I asked if I could speak with him for a minute.

  “Jagger, I saw Tenley today at her office.”