Shane

by Wasowski, Mary

  “And? Everything okay?”

  “You tell me.”

  “Shelby, I’m not too sure on what you are asking?”

  “I know I’m supposed to play deaf, dumb, and blind when it comes to Tenley and how our adoption was expedited, but I’m worried, Jagger. I always worry that the bottom is going to just fall out from under us and we are going to lose Wyatt. Please, this is not for me, because I know I don’t deserve it. I’m asking for Shane. Tell me that I’m wrong and everything is as perfect as the day we took Wyatt home as our son.”

  “Shelby, I don’t know what brought this on, and I don’t want to know. Everything is fine and as it should be. I don’t know what your hang-ups are with my wife, but that’s your issue to resolve. And as for you not deserving? You have everything you always wanted. Why do you question it?”

  “Why? Because I’m scared, Jagger. Haven’t you ever been scared of anything before? Afraid of losing what you love most in life?”

  “Yeah, I have, and I’ve experienced it as well, along with Shane. We lost Jamie. For a long time, we lost our friendship, and then I lost Tenley for five long years. So, yes, I’ve been scared, but even with all those truths I have had to face in my life, there has also been so much good. It’s okay to have these feelings, but it’s another thing to allow them to take over your life. Shelby, please, for the sake of your family, you need to let this go. We’re family, and at the end of the day, that’s what matters. Tenley and I love you guys so much; let that be enough reason to let go of the mistrust and speculation. Can you do that?”

  “I can. I’m sorry, Jagger. I thought I had, and then seeing the caseworker today brought it all back for me.”

  He stepped up closer and brought me in for a hug. I couldn’t stop my tears from falling. He stroked my hair and whispered in my ear, “Shelby, no one will ever take your son away from you and Shane. I promise you.”

  “Hey!” Shane called out. “What’s going on? You okay, babe?”

  I stepped out of Jagger’s arms and into Shane’s. “Oh, hush now. I was having a moment, and Jagger here was just being a friend. A best friend.”

  Shane visibly calmed and then kissed me on my forehead.

  “Thanks, man.” Shane said. The two best friends shook hands, and then Jagger made his way home, leaving me alone with my husband.

  “Come on, baby, why the tears?”

  “I ran into Roberta this afternoon after my appointment, and the entire visit just rattled me. Then old anxieties resurfaced, and I found myself in Tenley’s office.”

  “Oh, babe, no! Why would you do that?”

  “I don’t know, Shane. I feel so foolish to allow my self-doubt to freak me out again. I’m just scared. I know what I asked of Tenley, and then it suddenly happened. Haven’t you ever wondered why that is?”

  “Yes, I have, but I’m also smart enough not to question it. I’ve learned the hard way so many times in my life and got burned for it. I get it, believe me when I say that I do, but it’s over and behind us. We have him, and he’s not going anywhere. No one is going to threaten our family or ever take our son from us. Shelby, you need to just trust. Roberta is on our side as well as Tenley. Please stop vilifying her as the enemy. She’s our friend, and we are lucky to have her in our life.”

  “Okay, subject dropped. I’m sorry.”

  “Good. Let’s go inside and join our son.”

  After dinner, we played a short game of Monopoly, and then it was time for bed. I was exhausted from today, but there was nothing more I looked forward to than tucking our son into bed for the night. Shane read him two stories as I listened along.

  We all got on our knees and said our prayers. This was for Wyatt, something he did at the group home. He said after all the kids went to sleep, he would climb out of his bed and say his prayers. He would wish for a family to love him. Every night when he gave his thanks to God, I always shed those few tears and said my thankful prayers along with his.

  “Okay, little man, I want you to dream of good things, okay?” Shane said.

  “I will, daddy.”

  I watched Shane bend down to place a kiss on his forehead, and then it was my turn to do the same.

  “I love you, sweet boy. See you in the morning.”

  “I love you too, mommy.” The sweetest five words I will never tire of hearing.

  Shane

  There wasn’t anything in this world that brought me more happiness than watching my beautiful wife with our son. It had been the best six months of my life. It had been a while since I’d seen her cry, and seeing her in the arms of Jagger today did not sit well with me. It wasn’t jealousy, not of Jagger, more like concern for my wife and why she was in such a state. She could never hide her feelings from me. I knew we would talk about it, but for the moment all I wanted to do was lose myself in my wife for a while, and that’s exactly what I did.

  “Lay back. Close your eyes,” I issued my commands as I placed a kiss on her lips.

  She did with no hesitation. I loved when she submitted to me with complete trust. She was probably thinking I had something in mind for us tonight, but she would be wrong. I just wanted to simply make love to her. I had this overwhelming feeling of missing her today, and the minute I saw her face, I knew why. It was the connection between us. It was always strong and usually always right.

  I undid her blouse to reveal her pale pink lacy bra. Her nipples were already erect through the thin material. I bit down on one as I twisted the other between my two fingers, allowing Shelby to softly cry out in pleasure.

  “Shhh, we don’t want this to be over before it begins.”

  Her eyes closed, and I knew she was willing herself not to come. I undid her top button and pulled down her zipper, only to discover she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

  “Naughty girl, where’s the matching bottoms to your bra?” I asked.

  “I believe you tore them the last time I wore them, and I haven’t had time to replace them.”

  “Good answer, baby. I kind of like you going bare, but just make sure no one else knows about it. We have a lot of men on this ranch, and no one gets to see what’s mine.”

  “Only yours, Shane.”

  Once she was completely bare to me, I slid two fingers inside of her very wet and inviting pussy. Her ass bucked up in the air as I hit the right spot to make her scream my name.

  “Shhh, quiet, or you don’t get to come.”

  As I worked her over, I knew she was close, and I went in for the kill, causing Shelby to scream into a pillow. I fucking loved getting her all worked up into a heated frenzy. I feasted on her wet folds and lapped up every bit of her sex as I played with her clit and hit her core over and over again.

  The evidence of her orgasm was slowly dripping down the insides of her thigh, and before she could utter a word, I was pushing my way inside of her. She grabbed my hips as I pushed deeper and deeper until I filled her. My hands found hers, and I pressed them down to the mattress.

  “Open your eyes. Don’t look away from me. I love you so much. I love our life, and I promise you that whatever is bothering you, I am going to make you forget. Do you understand me?”

  “Yes, I understand,” she weakly answered.

  “Do you trust me?”

  “Yes, with everything I have.”

  “Okay, then enjoy the ride.”

  I crushed my mouth on hers and plunged my tongue deep inside. I wanted to mark every inch of her and banish all her fears away once and for all. She cried out her release, and pools of tears flowed from her crystal blue eyes.

  I never came so hard and poured my cum inside of her, filling her to her brim until I had nothing left. I was spent and supported by my body above hers as I remained buried inside of my wife. We were both panting and sweat was dripping down my spine as I bent down to lick her chest and make my way down to her taut nipples.

  When I finally managed to move, she was already sleeping. It had been a while since we shared a moment like this one
tonight. I carefully got out from our bed and got a washcloth from the bathroom. I tried to gently wipe her sex so she wouldn’t be uncomfortable when she woke up. She barely moved until the heat from the cloth hit her oversensitive breasts and pussy.

  Our lovemaking was always intense, but tonight it needed to be a little rough. It was the only way to bring Shelby back from wherever she allowed her anxiety to lead her. I knew it, and so did she. I climbed back into bed with her and pulled her close to my body, holding her in place.

  “Sleep, baby. No more worrying, okay? I love you.” I said and soundly fell asleep too.

  When the alarm began to sound in the darkness of our bedroom, I hit the stop button and repositioned myself behind Shelby. I wasn’t going anywhere today, and once we got Wyatt off to school, I would be having a serious talk with my wife. I placed a kiss on her bare shoulder and left her sleeping while I took a shower.

  When I came back out, she was now sitting up in bed with her back against the headboard and the sheet pulled up to her chest, covering everything that I loved.

  “Good morning. How are you feeling?” I asked her.

  “You really have to ask after that workout last night?”

  “No, I kind of know, but I do love hearing how I rate?”

  “Oh, cowboy, you more than rate. You literally have the power to make me forget my own name. Thank you for yesterday and last night. I really needed to forget, even if it was for a little while.”

  “Why is that? What’s bothering you, baby? We haven’t been here in a long time, and I thought all the ghosts of our past were buried a long time ago.”

  “Shane, I swear to you I am not going off the rails again. You have to believe I would be upfront and honest with you if I was. I just had an appointment yesterday with Dr. Whitfield. She signed off on concluding our therapy sessions, because she knows I am focused on what is important.”

  “Okay, tell me this, and please don’t lie to me...”

  “I promise.”

  “You need to tell me what is making you so afraid, and then you need to allow me to help you not to be. Look around you, Shelby. We have everything we always wanted, and he’s sleeping just a few feet away.”

  She placed her head in her hands and then wiped away her tears. Hugging her knees, she looked up at me and shrugged her shoulders. “What do you want me to say? I know I screwed up yesterday with Tenley. It’s what I do. I just screw up and never learn from the mistakes I make. Losing our son and then the chance to give you any more children should have taught me that, but sadly, here I am making those quick to react mistakes all over again. It’s a never-ending repeat button. Why are you still here with me? I am more than you ever wanted to sign on for.”

  I literally felt as I was holding my breath after hearing her truth. The moment was right there on the edge of me losing consciousness or raging until I blew the roof off. After all this time, she still feels as if she is not good enough for me. Why would she ever believe I would just stay and listen to that load of garbage? I love her so much, and I’ve been trying every single day to rise up to the man that is good enough for her, and not the other way around.

  My entire body was trembling with a thousand emotions. I knew if I stepped closer, I would lose control and not only take her body but make her mind submit to me as well. I knew I had the power to calm and bring her back to center. Hell, I proved that last night. It’s what makes us who we are, and what we share in bed brings us to heightened pleasures that make me feel as high as the sky. I love all the experiences I get to share with my wife, but now is not one of those times. I’m angry and will not go to her until I can regain my composure.

  Instead of running and doing the one thing I have accused her of doing in the past, I stayed and did everything humanly possible to calm and move past my anger. Minutes ticked by even though it felt like hours. She remained where she was, and that was in our bed.

  “Shelby, you’re not the only one that has made mistakes, ones you believed you would never recover from, but you did—we did. For the part I played, my mistakes were epic, and from then to now, I believe I have owned every last one of them. When we agreed to try again and work on our marriage, I believed it when you promised you would always talk to me. For the most part, you have kept your word to me, but now, it feels we are back there again, and baby, it breaks my heart. You have something inside of you that keeps you stuck and unreachable.”

  She visibly shifted on the bed, and the sheet that was covering her body suddenly was gone. Like the sexy woman she was, she was baring not just her body but her soul as well.

  “Shane, I need you.” she panted.

  Anything I was feeling when I started this haphazard conversation with her ebbed away as I removed my clothing and climbed back on our bed. My hands found her knees, and I slowly parted them even further than they already were. It didn’t take long for me to be inside her, with her hands tangling through my hair to bring me closer. She cried out her release as she rode another orgasm I happily gave her.

  I wrapped my arms around her small frame and kept her close as our breathing slowly returned to normal. My eyes were closed, and my body felt relaxed almost to the point of falling back to sleep, and then I heard her beautiful soft tone.

  “When Wyatt first came to us, I took the leap of faith and believed in the universe. I convinced myself he was a miraculous sign from the heavens above, and I just knew he was meant to be our son. Once that did happen, I found myself in this euphoric state of pure bliss and happiness. Feeling all those wonderful things flow through me, I also became afraid. It was a fear of losing all the good, and then I would be catapulted back to that dark place when I lost everything I loved and cherished most. So, self-preservation kicked in, and I protected everything I held dear and never wanted to let it go. Unexpectedly running into Roberta yesterday shattered all that resolve, and like you said, I was back there and stuck in a place I didn’t want to be in.”

  I moved quickly, causing Shelby to shift off my chest a bit, but she didn’t go far because I cupped her face in my hands and made her look at me.

  “No, you never have to be there again. This life we have and have fought to have is real, and it’s only going to get better, this I promise you. Please have faith in me, and in us. I love you. No one is going to come in-between our family and jeopardize the happiness we have fought to have. You must believe me. Please, Shelby, tell me you do.”

  She remained quiet, but her eyes softened, and then she leaned in to kiss me back. I knew she was coming back to me, and once I had her where she needed to be, this is where she would remain. I knew she needed positive reinforcement, and I would do whatever it takes to make her feel secure. It took me years of therapy with Wendy to get me here to a place where I felt secure. I knew I made the colossal mistakes of my youth that defined my future years, and then I met Shelby, and she changed my perspective on all things. She made me open my eyes to what was important and fought her way in my heart, and that’s where she stayed. Even when I was battling the demons of my past, she was there.

  We had gone through more heartache than most couples would ever do in a lifetime. We faced the dark times where we nearly shattered with pain and loss, and then reveled in the good when we decided to try again, and then Wyatt blessed our lives. I kissed her back with all the love I could put behind that kiss. I wanted to show her how much my love had never wavered and would remain strong for Shelby.

  “You are the love of my life, and I promise you with all that I have, I will not allow you to fall. Never again. Please trust me to keep those promises to you, and now to Wyatt.”

  “You won’t leave me?” her voice was shaky.

  “Never. Not in this lifetime or the next.”

  Another storm passed, and we survived once again. Because I was up so early, it felt like we’d been talking for hours, but that wasn’t the case. The sun was beginning to rise as I made love once more to my wife. We knew we couldn’t go back to sleep with Wyatt waki
ng soon. I carried her tired and naked body into the shower and washed her from head to toe, giving her pleasure along the way.

  We walked down the wide set of stairs together hand-in-hand and smiling. I made the coffee as Shelby began making the batter for pancakes or waffles, or whatever Wyatt wanted to have this morning. As the coffee brewed, I took my wife in my arms and nuzzled her neck. She giggled, and it was the sweetest sound. We both felt the weight of the world ebb away from the both of us, and then we heard another sweet sound.

  “Morning, Daddy! Hi, Mommy! I want pancakes, please.”

  We both took our turns giving our son his morning hugs, and then we enjoyed breakfast together as a family. It was perfect. I looked around to my wife and son, and without a doubt, I was certain of one thing: Some men in life were lucky to have found one love in their life.

  I was blessed to have found two.

  Shane

  Breakfast was probably my favorite time of the day. Wyatt would come bouncing down the stairs, so excited to go to school, asking me a hundred questions on how I would spend my day. Usually, by this time, I would have worked at least four hours on the ranch before coming home to eat with them. I made this my new routine since we adopted our son. I wanted him to feel as stable as he could under our roof with two parents that loved him to the moon and back.

  Yesterday was hard, and last night and this morning were even harder to bear, but Shelby and I moved past all the stress and somehow managed to smile, laugh, and find the simple normalcy of just being together.

  I told Shelby to leave the dishes and go back upstairs to sleep. I would take Wyatt to the bus stop, and then I had to take care of a few things in town. She agreed with no argument, and I was thankful for that small win. I didn’t want to be the cause of any more stress for her, but I knew where I needed to be, and the one person who could help me above anyone else.

  “Well, this is a welcomed surprise. I was just thinking about you the other day and wanted to call you up to get together for dinner, and now you’re here,” exclaimed a very happy Wendy as she took me in for a hug. “Now, what brings you all the way out here?”