Everything I Never Wanted

by K. Street

  The same sexy spitfire from yesterday was bent over, peering into the engine compartment. My eyes moved upward from her toned legs to over her perfect ass covered in a pair of white shorts. I needed to have a closer look. The paper was forgotten as I strode in her direction.

  She raised an arm to shield her eyes from the sun. “Tucker. Hi.”

  “Hello, Camryn.”

  Her long, dark hair was in a ponytail, and a pink tank top covered her perfect chest. Damn, she was hot.

  “Tucker”—surprise was evident in her voice—“this feels sort of like fate or kismet or whatever,” she said.

  Maybe it was.

  “Sure … if you believe in that sort of thing,” I replied. “Is it the battery again?”

  She nodded. “Pretty sure. I should’ve gotten one yesterday, but I was having furniture delivered, and I had to be here to meet the truck.”

  I had two options. Either I could jump her battery again or I could seize the opportunity to get to know her. It didn’t have to mean anything.

  “Give me ten minutes, and I’ll give you a lift into town to pick up a battery. I have a few errands to run anyway.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I think I do. I’m certain there’s some sort of neighbor code.”

  “A code?” She grinned, seemingly amused.

  “Yeah. Like, if your car battery needs to be replaced, I should give you a lift. If you go out of town, I’m supposed to water your plants, but honestly, your plants would probably die.”

  She fought against a smile but lost, her full pink lips turned up at the corners. She was stunning.

  “What do you say?” I asked, forcing my eyes from her mouth.

  She looked thoughtful, and I knew her answer before she spoke the words, “I’d like that. Thank you.”

  “I’ll see you in ten minutes.”

  She nodded, and then we went in opposite directions.

  After a quick shave and a cup of coffee, I opened my front door and found Camryn with her ass leaning against my truck.

  “Ready, neighbor?” she asked.

  “I am.” I opened the passenger door for her.

  “And they claim Southern hospitality is dead.” She placed her purse on the seat and stretched for the oh shit handle.

  Damn. That ass.

  Camryn reached for her seat belt, and when she turned to buckle it, I shut the door and walked around to my side. Once inside, I started the truck and backed out of the driveway. Camryn leaned hard against the door panel and sat with her body angled in my direction. I pushed the power lock button, and the mechanical sound echoed through the cab.

  She raised her brows in question. “I thought we agreed you weren’t a serial killer.”

  “I’m not. You’re just leaning into that door pretty damn hard, and I don’t want you to fall out.”

  “So, you’re concerned for my safety? That’s good.”

  “Why is that good?”

  “It means, chances are, you’re not a psycho, waiting for the right moment to dismember my body and hide the pieces in the woods.” She gave me a wry smile.

  I found her sarcastic wit sexy as hell. “You’re safe,” I assured her. “So, Camryn, what brings you to Jaxson Cove?”

  She glanced out the window before she looked back at me. “It was time for a change, and after landing a new job, I jumped at the chance.”

  My own story wasn’t something I wanted to disclose, and tit for tat wasn’t my style, but still, the job had me curious. “Really?”

  “Yep. I’m the new nurse for the elementary school.”

  That meant she’d see plenty of Shayne and not only because we lived next door. If I mentioned I had a daughter, it would be inviting an inquisition. How old is she? Are you married? The truth would result in pity, and I didn’t need it or want it, so the topic was off-limits.

  “Guess that means Mrs. Henderson finally retired. About damn time. She was ancient when I was a kid.”

  “Wow. You grew up here?”

  “Born and raised.”

  “You never wanted to leave?”

  Nothing was further from the truth, but if I answered honestly, she’d ask more questions I’d rather avoid.

  “What can I say? This town has quite the hold on me.”

  I couldn’t wait to get the hell outta here, and for a while, I had. When Griffin had died, everything had changed. Regardless that I never intended to come back and build a life here, that was exactly what had happened. Staying away had never been an option.

  4

  Camryn

  This morning, after Tucker had taken me to the auto parts store, we had come back to my house, and he’d replaced my car battery. I knew how, but he was neighborly and chivalrous, and for once in my life, I wasn’t going to argue if a man wanted to do something nice for me. Afterward, when I’d offered to pay him, he’d shot me down again. This time, I had argued, but he wouldn’t budge.

  Then, I’d remembered something my Nonna, my dad’s mom, had always told me.

  “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

  It gave me an idea. Not that I was after Tucker’s heart. Tucker’s body though, that might be a different story.

  I really needed to stop lusting after my neighbor, so I focused my attention on unpacking some of the boxes. When I finished with that, I went to the grocery store. While I was there, I picked up the ingredients to make brownies. As soon as I got home, I made a batch and put them in the oven.

  Tucker had come to my rescue twice in as many days, and I was pretty sure he wouldn’t turn down chocolate. Besides, other than Macy, I didn’t really know anyone here, and it would be nice to have a friend.

  I pulled the decadent goodness from the oven, turned it off, and then walked down the hall to the bathroom. I gave my reflection a once-over. My wavy jet-black hair sat in a messy bun high on the top of my head, cocoa powder dusted my right cheek, and a glob of raw brownie batter had landed on my tank top in the center of my left boob, bestowing me with a chocolate nipple.

  “Oh my God.” I laughed out loud.

  I washed my face, changed my shirt, and unraveled my hair from its nested perch before brushing my fingers through it.

  I went back to the kitchen and carefully cut the semi-cooled-down brownies into something that resembled squares and placed them on a plate. After I slid on a pair of flip-flops, I grabbed the dish and made my way over to Tucker’s.

  I knocked on the door and waited for an answer. It took long enough that I almost went home. When the door finally swung open, I wondered if it was some sort of parlor trick. Then, I heard a small voice and lowered my gaze.

  “Good evening. May I help you?” A little girl stood in the doorway. Her long, dark hair was still damp. She wore pajamas with race cars on them, and there was a small dimple in her cheek. She was beautiful.

  “Um … hi. I’m Camryn.”

  “Are you here to see my daddy?” she asked politely.

  Daddy?

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Daddy, Camryn is here.” She planted her hands on her hips and waited.

  Just then, Tucker appeared from behind her. “Bug, you know you aren’t allowed to answer the door. We’ve been over this.”

  She looked up at him and smiled the most adorable toothy grin that I knew had gotten her out of trouble a time or two. “I forgot.”

  Tucker scooped up the little girl. “It’s all right. Just don’t let it happen again.” Then, he turned his eyes on me. “Camryn … hi. What are you doing here?” Surprise filled his words.

  “Since you wouldn’t let me pay you, I thought a neighborly gesture was in order.”

  I offered the plate to him, and he stared at it for a long moment before accepting it.

  “Shayne, say hello to Camryn. She moved in next door.”

  She expectantly stuck her hand out. “Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

  I laughed while stretching out my hand to shake hers.
“Hi, sweet girl.” I smiled at her.

  “You made those for us?” Her eyes widened, and she licked her lips.

  “I sure did.”

  She looked at her father. “Um, Daddy, those look super yummy.” Shayne scrunched her brows and pursed her lips. “Aren’t you going to see if she wants to come in?”

  Tucker remained silent. Suddenly, everything felt awkward, and I knew coming here had been a mistake.

  “You know what? You two go ahead and enjoy them.” I turned on my heels to go.

  “Camryn, it’s fine. You can come in.” He might have said the words, but it seemed like the last thing he wanted.

  I almost declined again, but when I looked at his little girl, her eyes full of hope and curiosity, I knew my answer. She was cute, and I wanted the company.

  “Please,” Shayne said in her endearing, small voice. “Nobody ever comes over, except Grammy. Oh, and Uncle Nash and Aunt Macy, but they never bring brownies.”

  When she said Macy’s name, I wondered if her aunt and my real estate agent were one in the same, but I didn’t think now was a good time to ask.

  My eyes found Tucker’s. “Are you sure?”

  “He is,” Shayne answered for him.

  “I am.” He tilted his head, signaling I should follow.

  I should’ve probably just gone home, but then Shayne had said please, and I knew there was no way I could tell her no.

  In his truck earlier, there hadn’t been anything to give the indication that Tucker had a child, but inside the house, her presence was everywhere. A small stuffed pig sat on the coffee table next to a coloring book and crayons. One of those huge, plastic race tracks had been set up in the corner, and beside it was an array of small cars arranged by color and size. Framed snapshots sat on the shelves of the wooden entertainment center, and situated in the middle was a big screen television. Positioned adjacent to the couch was a well-worn recliner.

  The scene reminded me of my own childhood, ramming me with a pang square in the chest. For a split second, I missed my dad so much, I found it hard to breathe, but I managed to push the emotion down and continued into the kitchen.

  Tucker set the brownies on the table and put Shayne down. He grabbed two glasses and a cup for Shayne from a cabinet and then opened the fridge. That was when I saw the picture. Kept in place by a magnet was a photo of a woman and her family. She was thin, and I knew, if I stepped closer, I would see dark circles under her eyes. An IV pole stood near the head of the bed. She sat on the side of the mattress, legs dangling off the edge. On her lap, she held a much younger version of Shayne, and Tucker wrapped his arms around them from behind.

  “You can sit here.”

  I felt a tug on my hand, but I couldn’t force my eyes from the picture until the door closed.

  Tucker’s eyes briefly caught mine, and I knew he was aware of what I’d been looking at.

  “Are you coming?” She tugged again.

  I focused on Shayne. “Right here?” I pointed to a chair.

  “Yep.”

  Tucker placed the milk on the table, sat down, and then lifted his daughter onto his lap.

  Shayne took a bite of her brownie. “These are yummilicious.”

  “I’m glad you like them.” I took my first bite and moaned. “So good.”

  Tucker’s gaze fixed on my mouth.

  I felt Shayne watching me.

  “You’re pretty,” she said.

  “So are you,” I told her.

  “Daddy says I look just like my mama.”

  Tucker sucked in a breath, and a pained look flashed across his face. I averted my gaze to take in his kitchen, not wanting him to feel as though he were under a microscope. It was on the smaller side, nothing fancy by any stretch. Instead of stainless steel and granite, it was gray Formica and black enamel. Simple and basic but homey.

  “Eat up, Doodlebug. It’s almost bedtime.” The sound of Tucker’s voice drew my attention back to the table.

  Shayne stuffed her small brownie into her mouth, oblivious to her father’s earlier reaction when she’d mentioned her mother. “You’re a good baker.” Only it came out more like baffer because her mouth was full.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  The room fell silent as we finished up.

  “Doodlebug, tell Camryn good night and go brush your teeth. I’ll be there in a minute.”

  “Daddy,” she whined.

  “Bug.” His tone was firm.

  “Fine,” she grumbled and slid off his lap. She stood in front of me and smiled sweetly. “Lovely to meet you. Next time, can you bring cupcakes with sprinkles? Oh, and pink frosting.”

  I stifled a laugh. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Night, Camryn.”

  “Good night, Shayne,” I said.

  Shayne turned back to Tucker, kissed his cheek, and said, “Daddy, don’t forget, you promised two chapters tonight.”

  “I didn’t forget. Go on. I’ll be right there.”

  I watched as she skipped into the living room and snatched the little pig off the table. Then, she disappeared around the corner.

  “Thank you.” Tucker stood, making it obvious it was my cue to leave.

  I rose to my feet and pushed in the chair. “It’s the least I could do.” I folded my arms over my chest and lowered my gaze before I looked up to meet Tucker’s eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me about her?”

  “Why would I?”

  “I don’t know. We made small talk. I guess I thought you would’ve mentioned a kid during our conversation in the truck.”

  “Well … I’m not in the habit of telling strangers my life story.”

  “Technically, we’re neighbors,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

  Gone was the carefree man from earlier today.

  “Being neighbors doesn’t make us friends.” There was an edge to his tone, which made the words feel harsh.

  Something had changed, and I knew it had to do with me being in his space.

  “I’m sorry … I mean … I just thought …” I didn’t even know what I thought.

  He was right; he didn’t owe me any details about his life.

  “Okay. So … I’m going to go. Good night, Tucker.” Purposeful strides carried me through his house. My fingers gripped the doorknob, and I gave it a twist.

  “Good night, Camryn,” he called to my back.

  I walked out, closing the door behind me.

  5

  Tucker

  I remained in the kitchen and stared at the back of the door Camryn just walked out of. She’d been occupying my thoughts more than I’d like to admit. Nothing could’ve prepared me for the sight of her earlier as she stood on my porch, bearing baked goods like some sexy-as-sin modern-day Betty Crocker.

  As I thought of her again, an internal battle waged within me. Unless you counted my mom and Macy, I’d never asked a woman into my home. Never taken a woman in my bed. Even on the occasions when Shayne stayed with her grammy.

  This had been our home. Mine and Shayne’s and Dani’s. Not once had a woman I felt an attraction to been granted access through that doorway.

  Until tonight.

  I glanced to the chair where Camryn had previously sat and then at the glass she’d used that was still on the table. The one her perfect pink lips had wrapped around. I picked it up and traced my thumb over the rim where her mouth had been. I’d wanted to savor her. To sample the chocolate from her lips. The way she’d moaned when she bit into her dessert made me think about all the sounds I’d like to elicit from her.

  When Shayne had made the comment about how she looked so much like her mom, it was like being backhanded. I had been sitting across from Camryn, fantasizing about all the ways I wanted to taste her, at the same fucking table I’d once shared with my deceased wife. Rationally, I knew it didn’t make sense. Dani was gone. Still, that didn’t stop the bitter taste of betrayal from coating my tongue.

  The look on Camryn’s face. How she’d stammered an apol
ogy. I’d needed her gone because it was easier to push her away than deal with my conflicted emotions. Still, I felt like an asshole. Regardless, it didn’t change anything.

  “Daddy, I’m waiting.” Shayne’s voice carried through the house and brought me back to reality.

  “I’m coming, Bug.” I got up from the table and carried the dishes to the dishwasher. I shifted my focus to my daughter as I walked down the hall to her bedroom.

  Shayne leaned against her pillows. “Come on, Daddy,” she urged, patting the spot beside her.

  I pulled back the quilt, the one Mom had made from Dani’s old concert T-shirts, and slid in next to my baby girl. She passed me the yellowed and worn copy of Charlotte’s Web, the one that had belonged to Dani when she was just a girl and curled into my side. Shayne listened contentedly as I read. Her eyes started to fall shut before I completed the first chapter. By the time I finished with the second, she was sound asleep.

  Or so I thought, but when I moved to get out of her tiny twin bed, she woke up.

  “I love you, Daddy.”

  “Love you, too, Doodlebug,” I whispered.

  “I need to kiss Mommy good night.”

  I got up and strode over to the framed picture that sat on the dresser and gave it to Shayne. It had been part of our routine for as long as I could remember.

  Shayne trailed her small finger across the glass, over Dani’s face. “I love you, Mama,” she said and pressed her lips against the photo. Then, she hugged it to her chest. “Here, Daddy.”

  I took it from her and set it back in its place, not bothering to look at it. “Night, Doodlebug. Sleep tight.”

  “Don’t let the bedbugs bite,” she finished.

  I picked up Wilbur from where he’d fallen on the floor, tucked him in beside her, and then dropped a kiss to Shayne’s head. After I shut off the light, I pulled the door, making sure to leave it open a crack, and headed down the hall to my room. I closed my own door, leaned back against it, and blew out a hard breath, taking in the space.

  All these years later, constant reminders of Dani lingered in this house, like secrets whispered in the dark. She had taken her last breath in this very room while I held her hand. Paving her exit from this life into the next with promises that I’d take care of Shayne, swearing that we’d be just fine. The memory, excruciating but beautiful, had always brought me some measure of comfort. Tonight though, I felt suffocated by her ghost.