How to Date a Witch

by Rose Pressey

  So much for calming my nerves.

  “If I have to go back there then you all should come with me.” I tiptoed a couple inches closer to the hallway.

  “Why should we come with you? Lily asked. “It’s your apartment.”

  “Because it would be a nice thing to do.”

  “She’s right.” Jennifer motioned. “Let’s go with her, Lily. For once do something nice.”

  “Hey, I do nice things all the time… just yesterday I gave Phil a pedicure.”

  I shivered. “Please spare us the details.”

  Jennifer and Lily stepped behind me as we inched down the hall toward the bedrooms. Jennifer’s bedroom door was open and we saw nothing unusual. However, my bedroom door was closed.

  I wasn’t looking forward to opening that door. No other sounds came from the room. I wasn’t sure if the silence was a good thing. Whatever was there could be playing games with us. Jennifer and Lily stared at me with wide eyes. Apparently, Jennifer didn’t even realize that Lily was actually holding onto the back of Jennifer’s t-shirt. I grasped the doorknob and slowly turned. Releasing a deep breath, I pushed the door open.

  A hideous creature lunged for us. Lily, Jennifer, and I stumbled down the hallway, trying to get away from the thing. It had all happened so fast that I hadn’t gotten a good look at the beast.

  What little I saw though I would never forget. Huge horns rested on the top of the creature’s head. The eyes glowed red and scales covered its body. Lily somehow got the door open and we ran down the stairs and burst outside. Once a block away from the apartment we stopped running. It wasn’t really a choice. Jennifer had run out of steam. That was understandable. She wasn’t a werewolf. I peered down the street toward my apartment building.

  “Do you think it followed us?” Jennifer leaned down to catch her breath.

  I blew the hair out of my eyes. “I guess not. We’d probably know if it followed us.”

  “Where did it come from?” Jennifer asked.

  “I hate to say this, but I think it was the spell we cast.”

  “What are you talking about?” Lily asked.

  “We accidentally did a spell wrong. The pages were stuck together and we recited words to another spell. The other spell was to call a demon.”

  “Oh, for Pete’s sake.” Lily rolled her eyes. “Can’t you do anything right?”

  I stepped toward Lily. “I can do some things right.”

  Jennifer moved between us again. “Ladies, please. What do we do now?”

  “I guess we have to go back,” I said.

  Lily scoffed. “You all have to go back. I can go home.”

  I smiled. “Lily, you’re not going to let a little demon scare you, are you?”

  Lily wiggled her finger. “Don’t try to play those games with me. I know what you’re doing. You think I’ll want to prove you wrong and go back there with you.”

  I held my hands up. “That’s not what I was doing at all. It’s just that I’ve never seen you back down. If you went home it would be like you gave up, and let the demon win. That’s like failure.”

  She glared at me. “I hate you, Rylie Cruz.”

  Lily marched down the sidewalk away from us.

  After a few steps she turned to face us. “Well, are you coming with me or do I have to fight this demon alone?”

  “Why didn’t you let her go home?” Jennifer asked as we followed Lily down the sidewalk.

  “I figure we might need all the help we can get with getting rid of the demon.”

  “You want me to stay out of the apartment until the thing is gone, don’t you?” Jennifer asked.

  I looked straight ahead.

  “I can handle this, Rylie. Just because I’m not a werewolf doesn’t mean I can’t handle it.”

  I glanced over at her. “I just hate dragging you into all this.”

  “If I cared about being dragged into it I would have moved a long time ago.”

  She had a point.

  We stopped in front of the building.

  “So how should we do this?” I asked.

  “Tell me again what happened with the spell,” Lily said.

  “We only used half the words from the spell that conjured the demon. Maybe it only means we got a half a demon,” I said.

  “What the hell is half a demon?” Lily asked. “It looked whole to me. It had two horns, two arms, and two legs.”

  “Well, maybe it won’t be so hard to get rid of it. You know, it won’t be as strong,” Jennifer said.

  Lily stared for a moment. “I guess that makes sense.”

  I pushed my shoulders back and marched up the steps. Jennifer and Lily followed. I had no idea what we would do once back in the apartment. The building remained silent… eerily silent. Just because there was no growling didn’t mean the thing had taken off. Again Lily hid behind Jennifer. The door remained open.

  When we reached the top of the steps, I motioned for Jennifer and Lily to move closer to the wall. If the thing was in there I didn’t want to let it know we had returned. I eased closer to the door and peeked inside. My breath caught in my throat. I leaned against the wall.

  “What did you see?” Lily’s voice shook.

  “It’s still in there,” I whispered.

  “Maybe we need a bigger apartment anyway,” Jennifer said. “We can just let the thing have this one.”

  “I don’t think that’s an option,” I said.

  “What is it doing?” Lily asked.

  “I’m not sure. Let me look again.”

  I had to be brave. I leaned over and peered inside the apartment. The thing was tossing trash out of the kitchen bin. It had also flung things from the shelves around the apartment.

  “What if we splashed holy water on it?” Jennifer asked.

  “Where are we going to get holy water?” Lily asked.

  Jennifer smirked. “The church down the street, duh.”

  I looked at Lily. “We should just storm in there and confront the thing.”

  “I know what you’re doing, Rylie. You just want me to go in there and get rid of the thing.” She waved her hands. “No way. I’m not falling for it.”

  I stood a little straighter. “I will handle this on my own. I’m not afraid and I don’t need your help.”

  I honestly didn’t know what I was thinking by going back in there. I had no plan. As soon as I rushed in the door, I reached for the fire poker by the fireplace. The creature turned to face me. The glowing red eyes locked on my face. I raised the poker high over my head. Jennifer and Lily screamed as they rushed into the apartment. Lily picked up a broom that Jennifer had left propped against the wall when she’d swept the dining room floor earlier. Jennifer grabbed the lamp from the table beside the sofa. The beast turned its attention to Lily. She screamed again and rushed toward the demon.

  She started whacking it on the head with the broom. “Get out of here, you ugly piece of garbage stuck to my shoe.”

  Garbage stuck to her shoe? Was Lily running out of insults?

  A growl emanated from the demon and practically shook the walls. I ran forward like a charging bull. I shoved the poker forward like a sword. The metal thing went straight through the demon and then poof… it was gone. The only sign that it had ever been there was the mess of trash on the floor and the books and knick-knacks tossed about. We stood in silence for a moment.

  “Do you think it was me hitting it on the head that made it leave?” Lily asked.

  “Yes, I think it was terrified of the straw,” I said, lowering the poker.

  “I hope it doesn’t come back.” Jennifer set the lamp back on the table.

  “Hey, at last it left our makeshift cauldron on the table.” I gestured.

  “You don’t want to do another spell?” Lily asked.

  “I have no choice,” I said.

  Jennifer massaged her temples. “I think we need a glass of wine.”

  Lily tossed the broom. “Maybe you can get the spell right this time
. You should let me help so you don’t get into this mess again.”

  Chapter 8

  How to Date a Witch Rule #8

  Don’t freak out if her nose itches. The twitch isn’t her way of casting a spell on you.

  “What are you all doing now?” Lily said. “Whatever it is, it won’t work.”

  “Why are you always so negative?” Jennifer asked.

  “Because it pays to be negative and you’re not disappointed when things don’t work out.”

  “Yes, but then things won’t work out because you’re always so negative. That’s how that works,” Jennifer said.

  Lily rolled her eyes.

  “Right now we’ll finish the spell,” I said. “Lily, would you like to help?”

  Lily stared at me for a moment. The corner of her mouth tilted up in a tiny grin. Apparently asking for her help made her happy. Maybe I really didn’t know Lily at all. All we ever did was argue. Maybe she just wanted a friend, and if I offered my friendship, she wouldn’t fight so much. I had to admit sometimes my temper got the better of me when I should just look the other way at the things she said.

  “Sure, I guess I can help you all since you’re so pathetic. Clearly you don’t know what you’re doing.”

  See, I remained silent and didn’t comment. It took a lot of self-restraint, but I did it. We gathered around the pot again. This time we got the spell right, though it didn’t feel any different from the time before. Well, minus the fact that no demon had appeared this time. I breathed a sigh of relief over that.

  When a loud bump rang out we all jumped. Maybe I’d called the all clear too soon. Lily hid behind Jennifer again. When she realized what she’d done she scampered around, trying to play it cool.

  “I’ll check it out this time,” Lily said with her chest puffed out.

  Fear gripped my stomach, I wouldn’t deny it. I ran over to the window while Lily looked down the hallway. She didn’t go all the way to the end.

  Jennifer followed me. “Do you see anything?”

  “Nothing at all,” I said.

  “There’s no one here,” Lily said. “I’m going home to my handsome hubby. I’ve had enough of your nonsense.”

  She tossed a lock of hair off her shoulder and marched out the door.

  “She’ll be back,” Jennifer said, as Lily slammed the door shut.

  “She always is. Hey, I do feel a little safer now. And there’s no demon. How long do you think this spell will work? If it actually worked,” I said.

  “I definitely think it worked.” Jennifer spoke the words, but the grimace on her face suggested she was still nervous.

  I didn’t blame her.

  “We’ll be fine now,” I said.

  We need more wine.” Jennifer headed for the kitchen. “When we feel it’s not working we’ll just have to do it all over again.”

  After not finding any sign of the witch or the demon out the window or any clue that she’d been there, I collapsed onto the sofa, waiting for Jennifer to bring the wine. Maybe I’d even agree to watch one of those reality shows she loved so much. Anything to take my mind off the current problem.

  Chapter 9

  How to Date a Witch Rule #9

  Yes, she does like pointy-toed shoes… Christian Louboutins

  The next morning, I was putting off the call that I knew I had to make. I’d been dreading it since last night. Well, actually, ever since Gracie had stepped through the door I’d been dreading it, but now I needed to just get it over with. I picked up the phone and dialed her number. She answered immediately, as if she’d been sitting by the phone waiting for me to call all morning.

  “What news do you have for me?” she asked.

  “Well, I can confirm that I have a date for you.”

  Again she squealed so loud that I took the phone away from my ear. Finally after she calmed down enough, I gave her the information and told her that we would talk soon. I really hoped that I was doing the right thing. If things went wrong between them she would probably hunt me down afterwards.

  After hanging up the call with Gracie, I decided to give Laurie a call. I needed to find out exactly everything she knew about the witch with the glowing eyes. No secrets. I wanted her to be completely truthful. Finally she picked up. She seemed a bit hesitant to talk to me.

  “This is really important. If this witch is after me, I have to know how to stop her.”

  She released a deep breath. “Okay, here’s what I know. If you want to get rid of her then you have to use magic. That’s the only way she’ll stop.”

  “But I’m not a witch. I don’t know magic well enough.”

  “You’d better learn how to do magic quickly,” the witch said.

  Laurie gave me the address to a witchcraft store. “Go to this address and the woman there will give you a book.”

  I hung up the phone feeling more nervous than ever. Now I was going to have to be a witch, as if being a werewolf wasn’t enough. Anyway, I got the address and headed out the door. As I was leaving Jennifer was walking out too.

  “Hey, where are you headed?” I asked.

  “I thought we could go shopping for costumes,” she said.

  “Actually I was going shopping somewhere else.”

  She placed her hands on her hips. “Without me? Oh, no, you don’t.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me out the door toward the sidewalk.

  “But you’re not going to want to go where I’m going.”

  “Where are you going?” she asked. “Don’t tell me somewhere crazy.”

  “It’s definitely crazy,” I said as I got in her passenger side door.

  She got in behind the wheel. “All right, let me have it. Where are we going?”

  I buckled my seatbelt. “We’re going to a shop that sells witchcraft items.”

  “And why are we doing that?” she said.

  “Because I have to in order to get rid of the witch.”

  Jennifer shook her head. “No, no, no, you don’t.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Why?”

  “Because that’s the only way to stop this witch with the glowing eyes from chasing me for whatever reason I don’t know.”

  She sighed and said, “All right, if that’s what we have to do, that’s what we have to do. Tell me where to go.”

  I gave Jennifer the directions and within a short time we pulled up in front of a creepy-looking shop. The brick façade was painted black. The glare against the windows made it difficult to see what was happening inside. I’d been to a lot of scary places, so this one shouldn’t be any different. Jennifer and I got out of the car and slowly approached the door.

  “You go first.” Jennifer motioned.

  I pulled the door open and then forced myself to step inside. Jennifer was right behind me. There was a woman behind the counter. I hadn’t expected to see her wearing a large black witch’s hat. Her brown hair tumbled from under the hat, reaching her shoulders. Her outfit of a black t-shirt and jeans was casual.

  “May I help you?”

  “I need witchcraft books,” I blurted out.

  “What do you need them for?” She eyed me up and down.

  “There’s this witch with glowing eyes.”

  Terror flashed in her eyes.

  “Is something wrong?” I asked.

  “No, no, nothing wrong… I have just the thing for you,” she said as she hurried over to the shelf and pulled out an old leather-bound book. “This is the one. Do everything that it tells you to if you want to stand any chance of getting rid of her.”

  Taking the book as she shoved it to me, I asked, “How did I get her?”

  She shrugged. “That I can’t tell you. It doesn’t matter. If you know what’s good for you, then you’ll get rid of her.”

  Jennifer and I left the shop with more confusion than when we’d entered. I clutched the book in my arms, unsure of what to do next.

  Jennifer draped her arm around my shoulders as we walked along. “Things are too hea
vy. We need to lighten the mood. I know just the thing… shopping.”

  Shopping did make things better. I climbed into the passenger seat, still holding onto the book.

  Jennifer got behind the wheel and started the car. “We’ll look for costumes.”

  Unfortunately we didn’t find anything. I was a little bit preoccupied with what the witch from the shop had told me. Maybe shopping didn’t make things better after all.

  ***

  Later that evening, I was sitting in my office reading over the book. I was tempted to do a small spell just to test it out and see if I was actually any good at this stuff. The book had many spells listed. How was I supposed to know which one would get rid of the witch?

  Jennifer knocked on the door. I guessed she didn’t want me to think it was the witch.

  “I have something for you,” she called out in a singsong voice.

  I hoped it wasn’t another one of the products she bought from the late-night infomercials.

  “A present for me?” I’d act as if I liked it even if I didn’t. That was what friends were for.

  Jennifer walked through the door with a small cauldron in her arms.

  “What is that?” I asked.

  She placed it on my desk. “I found it at the craft store in the clearance section. I guess it’s a Halloween decoration.”

  “You bought me a toy to do magic in?”

  Jennifer leaned closer to take a look at the book. “It’s only a toy if you don’t take it seriously. It’s better than using a kitchen pot.”

  “You do have a point.”

  “This one would be a good one to start with.” Jennifer tapped the yellowed page with her index finger. “Start out small.”

  Just then a knock came at the door.

  “Who is it?” I called out.

  “Open the damn door,” Lily yelled.

  “Not here,” I said.

  Lily opened the door. “Don’t play those games with me, Rylie Cruz.” She came over and plopped down on the chair in front of my desk.

  “What is it now, Lily?” I asked.

  A sly smile spread across her face. “I heard you have a problem.”

  “And what problem is that?”