by Brynn Ford
The room was silent for two long, wavering breaths.
Then she moved, crawling from her open bedroom door and down the hallway to mine. I stood and watched her as she moved, taking in the beauty of her willing obedience, noting the way she carried herself in this surrender with unexpected assuredness. I itched to lay my hands on her rounded ass, lust tickling me to grab and pinch and smack until her skin was red and raw.
Will she let me strip her naked?
Will she let me hurt her more than ever before?
Will she let me please her after the pain?
I caught up with her as she crossed the threshold to my room and swatted her on the rear before passing her. The hit was a tease, not enough to cause real pain for someone like Desi who thrived on true agony. I faced her, standing directly in front of her path and halting her movement.
"What will you let me do to you, Blue?"
She shifted her weight until she found a stable position on her hands and knees, "I don't know, Sir."
I crouched down on my haunches, "What don't you know? Look at me."
She lifted her head and I caught her eyes with intensity, "I know I want to play, but I don't know what I'm willing to allow, Sir."
My smile twisted, "Then you're in a rather interesting position, don't you think? Crawling into my bedroom and asking me for pain. Who's in control?"
"You are, Sir."
"Good girl. And are you going to give me your submission willingly?"
"Yes, Sir."
"Good girl. So then let me ask again. What will you let me do to you?"
Her head started to turn to the side, a natural reflex to hide from the intensity of my stare. I pinched her chin hard in my hand and held her firm.
"I'll let you have control of me, Sir."
"That's better. Follow me," I released her and stood, moving toward my large walk-in closet as she trailed behind me on her hands and knees.
The space nearly could have served as a tiny bedroom. My closet was a well-organized space for my most important items. Tailored suits and designer dress shoes lined one wall, perfectly tidy and methodically placed. But more importantly were my playthings.
Whips, chains, handcuffs.
Vibrators and other pleasure aids.
Suspension hooks in the ceiling.
Gags and straps and ways to bind.
And my personal favorite, ample lengths of black, silk rope.
I turned on the light and shut the door behind her, directing her to move to the back of the closet. The walls here were painted black as night, making the space seem smaller than it was. My intention in choosing the color draining hue was to give the experience of being lost, underground, closed in, trapped, completely at my mercy. It was a fantasy I found that most women had, and I was very happy to recreate that for my submissives.
I asked Desi to stand and face me. My eyes were drawn to her chest and the way it rose and fell deeply as she tried to calm her breathing. Her eyes were shut and her head was bowed.
"Take off your clothes."
She dithered, her fingertips curling under the hem of her oversized t-shirt, Vaughn's t-shirt, because that was all she seemed to wear lately. With any other sub, I would have snapped. I would have marched over to her and stripped the clothes off her myself. But I knew how important patience would be to get the end result my heart was beating for.
I waited.
It only took a moment before she found her confidence and peeled the shirt from her body, tossing it to the floor before doing the same with her yoga pants. It left her standing in front of me with bare tits and perfectly innocent cotton panties serving as the only barrier to her flesh.
It nearly knocked me backward when the reality of what was taking place hit me in the fucking face. Desi was in my room, in the closet where I played with so many submissives before her. Her perfect breasts were exposed and inviting and she was alone with me.
Just the two of us.
With permission from her husband and carte blanche for me to give her whatever she needed.
I'd been standing there, staring at her like a fool who had never seen a naked woman before. Moments passed before I realized that I was the one hesitating this time. The responsibility of giving her what she needed had suddenly become a burdensome weight.
"Sir?" she caught my attention, looking up at me.
"I don't want to hurt you, Desi."
Disappointment shaded her features, "No. I want pain. I need it, Sir."
I shook my head, "Not that. It's what comes after the pain that might hurt you."
"I don't understand, Sir."
I moved quickly into her space, forcing her back against the wall, letting my body curve against her nearly naked form.
"If I give you the pain you're asking for, then you're getting the pleasure you deserve afterward. I'm getting the pleasure I deserve afterward. Do you understand now? I don't know if you're ready for the emotional hurt that will follow that."
"I know my safewords. I can use them anytime, Sir."
I pressed my hips forward so she could feel my pulsing cock, how much I needed her, how much I wanted her.
"Can you, sweetheart? If I got down on my knees right now and licked your pussy, would you use a safeword then?"
Her breath hitched, "I don't know, Sir."
"Why?
"Because…" she swallowed, "I…"
"What, Blue? Because you would want it? Or because you wouldn't want it to stop?"
"What's the difference, Sir?"
I grabbed her throat, but didn't squeeze, just held in her place.
"The difference is whether you want it right now because the presence of a strong man like me makes you wet or whether you want it because I make you wet."
She swallowed, pausing a beat before responding pointedly, "Both, Sir."
I groaned, circling my hips against her lower belly.
"And what will you tell Vaughn tomorrow if that happens, hmm? If we cross that boundary from pain to pleasure?"
She gasped, though I didn't know if it was because I said his name or if she was shocked that she hadn't thought about it. Her brow furrowed as her chocolate eyes burnt nearly black and she stared at me with ferocity and resolve.
"And what will you tell Ris? Sir."
Whoa. What?
Her words throbbed through me in a shockwave and I squeezed her throat.
"Nothing. Because it's none of her business."
"Liar. I know you don't believe that."
Desi sneered at me and I couldn't work out what the fuck was happening.
Is she trying to piss me off just so I’ll hurt her more?
I clutched her neck tighter, pushing her harder against the wall, watching her sneer melt away into lust so her teeth could bite her lower lip. I landed my hand across her cheek with a thwack, hoping I'd tapped hard enough to knock some sense back into her.
She huffed out a breath as her head turned to the side. When she turned back to look at me, I could see I'd only pushed her deeper into wanting.
It looked fucking good on her.
"More, please, Sir."
I did it again to oblige her request. One more hit and she'd be too close to subspace to turn back. I could put her there or I could stop. It was my choice. The choice should have been clear.
Why is it so damn hard to choose with her here?
I let go of her and stepped back all in the same motion and she slumped slightly down the wall at my sudden absence before righting herself.
"Please, Sir."
Fuck.
Don't beg.
Don't fucking beg me, Desi.
She fell to her knees and scooted toward me, looking up at me to catch my eyes, "Please, hurt me, Sir. Give me pain to drown out my loneliness, Sir."
How can I deny her when her need is so great?
"Arms behind your back."
She sighed in relief, doing as told, "Thank you, Sir."
"Don't thank me yet, Blue. We haven't
even begun."
Chapter 8
Law
"Yellow, oh…ow, ow, ow, Yellow, Sir."
Desi stammered out the safeword as I hit her for the thirtieth time in the exact same spot with the riding crop. I could see the welt growing beneath her olive skin at the top of her thigh. I'd thwacked her raw, every single blow burning her skin a brighter shade of red. My jeans tightened around my cock unforgivingly.
"Too much for you to handle, Blue?" I asked with a proud smirk.
"Just give me a break, please, Sir,” she panted.
I stood from where I'd been kneeling beside her. She was suspended to the ceiling of the closet, arms wrapped tightly in rope, bent and crossed behind her back. She was bent over at the waist, stuck that way with the manner in which I had strung her up. It was written all over her face that everything in her body ached beautifully.
I crossed my arms over my chest and watched her as she took a few deep breaths, pushing the pain out with each exhale so she could take more when we started up again.
Just the way I trained her.
Seeing her gorgeous, naked form strung up and vulnerable to my dominance really tested me. My sadistic side wanted to punish her, bruise her, give her true physical pain that she hadn't even grazed the surface of yet, all in the name of making her understand the heartache her presence had caused in my life. But that was just the cruel sadist in me. The caring dominant side of me just wanted to take her to the edge of insanity with teasing pain before giving her pleasure like she's never known.
Desi was biting her lip as she inhaled again, sharply, through her nose. Her eyes squeezed shut and I knew she was fighting her urge for release. Not release from the bindings, not release from the room or from my dominance. Release from the emotional pain that had been building since Vaughn's arrest. She got that release from pain. But she could also get it from pleasure.
I couldn't help myself but to think about her bitten lip and how soft it would feel wrapped around my cock. I lusted to have her explicitly, sexually, in any manner of my choosing. It killed me that she would allow me to dominate her in pain but not in pleasure, especially when I knew I could give it to her so effectively.
Her eyes were on me now as she swallowed then licked her lips.
"Ready. Green, Sir."
My voice came out low beneath my breath, "I want to shove my cock down your throat and feel your perfect, pink lips and tongue all around me, Blue."
She squeaked out a troubled whimper and said, "Sir."
Clearly, she didn't know how to respond to that. I'd been beating the shit out of her for the better part of an hour, so I knew there was no way her panties were still dry given how masochistic she was. I'd been unashamedly shifting my damn erection behind my jeans every few minutes so she couldn't possibly be surprised that I wanted to take more from her than just pain.
Vaughn had given her permission for this. Vaughn had even insisted on it. But I could imagine it still felt like cheating to her.
My philosophy on sexual sharing in relationships was a little looser than most people, so I didn't feel any sort of way about crossing that boundary with her. Vaughn approved, so that was all I needed.
It simply wasn't enough for her.
It frustrated the hell out of me trying to follow her boundaries. They were clearly outlined. But knowing those lines and their complicated twists and turns around her equally open and closed mind made it just that much harder to focus through my baser urges.
She would let me wrap rope around her tits. I could graze her thighs with my large hands. She would let me dig my fingernails into her ass after spanking her. But the thought of my cock inside any part of her made her react as if it were a dangerous taboo, a curse, as if the feeling of my cock inside her would haunt her forever.
Maybe it would.
I would love for my cock to haunt her forever.
Goddammit, this is fucking torture.
"Blue," I snapped.
I rushed forward and stood in front of her in a flash, my hips level with her face, my fingers reaching the button of my jeans.
I have to push this limit.
I have to know what she'll do.
"You know your safewords. Stop me now or open your mouth for my cock."
"Red. Red. Shit," she said quickly.
I grunted out a strangled reply as I stepped back, disappointed, "Do you want me to untie you?"
"No."
"No?"
"I'm not sure."
"You're not sure," I repeated.
"I'm sorry, Sir, I just can't handle the thought of your dick in my mouth right now."
"No apologies. You have every right to stop me if you don't want it. You know that."
She sighed, "Do you use this position with all of your subs? Do you use it often, I mean?"
My eyes narrowed, "I'm not sure what you're asking."
"I'm asking," she paused, "Actually, I do need you to let me down."
I moved fast to bring her down from suspension, lowering her to kneel, though her arms were still tied firmly to her back, bent at the elbows and forearms crossed just beneath her shoulder blades. I stood behind her, waiting for her to tell me whether to untie her. I should have untied her immediately since she'd pulled the plug with her safeword. I knew I was dancing a borderline of consent not to.
Desi didn't move. She didn't wiggle uncomfortably in her bindings. She didn't try to move from her kneeling position on the floor. She remained still and breathed.
There was just something ethereal about watching a woman in bindings learn how to exist within herself, devoid of the perceptions of the world around her. Desi was no exception in her unwavering patience.
"The first night you brought me to Black Ties,” she started, “The night we met Ris and Asher. You tied her up in nearly the same way. I remember the twist of rope so clearly because she looked so goddamn beautiful in it. Part of that is just Ris and the way she carries herself. Part of it was the way you wrapped it around her so gracefully. And it has me wondering. Is it coiled so beautifully because you practice it often, with all your subs? Or because you save this particular kind of wrap for the women you love? The ones who radiate beauty because of the care you give them?"
I took in a deep, shaky breath from where I stood behind her. I was glad I couldn't meet her eyes because I was afraid she might find all of my truths and lies dancing across the surface. It was reckless the way she brought out my secrets.
"Why are you asking me this?"
"It's not me that you want, Law."
I huffed out a breath and felt my nostrils flare.
"What are you getting at?"
"I think I'm your replacement Ris."
No, you're my replacement Audrey.
I’m such a fucking asshole.
"I can tell you with certainty that's not true."
"I don't believe you."
"Believe what you want. Is this conversation going somewhere?"
"Why aren't you and Ris together? What happened? How did she end up with a creep like Asher?
"It's a long story," I sighed.
"You have a captive audience."
I could hear her smile in the way she said it. I needed to see it, so I moved around her, squatting to my haunches in front of her. She looked at me with understanding and compassion in her bright eyes.
"Is that really what you want to do right now, beautiful? You want to talk about my history with Ris?"
"You have no idea how much I want to hear about your history with Ris. Every. Last. Detail."
She grinned so broadly and brightly that I felt I couldn't deny her the opportunity to be happy for a little while. Distracted, at the very least.
"Let me get you untied, check you for wounds, get some lotion on your skin, and we can go downstairs and talk over a drink. Sound good?"
She beamed, "Seriously? Yes."
I took my time removing the ropes from her skin, letting my fingers graze across her supple flesh as the
y uncoiled and dropped to the floor. She was patient, letting me take that liberty to touch, as she remained still.
Then she nearly jumped out of her skin when my cell phone rang from my back pocket. I moved faster to free her from the ropes so I could answer the call. When Desi was free, I pulled it from my pocket and saw that it was Ris.
I tapped to answer, "It's awfully late for you, Angel. You need to rest. Did you call for a bedtime story?"
Desi snorted. I winked at her as I held her hand, helping her slowly to her feet.
Silence met me from the other end of the line.
"Angel? Ris?"
I heard her sniffle, "I know it's late. But you did tell me to call you if I needed anything at all, day or night."
"And I meant it. Just tell me what you need, sweetheart."
"Just to talk. I'm having a hard time."
I stroked Desi’s hair and asked her quickly and quietly, “You okay?”
She nodded with a smile. Confident that she was in decent enough shape to be on her own two feet without collapsing, I turned to face away from her and lowered my voice.
"Do you want me to come over?"
"No, no, you don't have to do that."
"I don't have to do anything, sweetheart. I want to take care of you. I'll come over," I decided on her behalf.
"I wouldn't mind coming to you?"
She said it as a question, as if she were hoping I would invite her over. All she had to do was ask.
"I'll call a cab for you. Desi and I were just about to have a drink, anyway."
She paused and I felt some of her good-natured humor return to her voice, "Did my call interrupt something?"
I smiled, "Why do you sound so hopeful?"
"Because I am."
"Keep on hoping, Angel. Pack an overnight bag and I'll send a cab. If you're coming over now, you're staying here tonight. Understood?"
She sighed, "Understood. Thank you, Jasper."
My face warmed at the way she said my name.
We ended the call and I turned toward Desi as I scrolled through my phone for the number to the cab company.
"Ris is coming over,” I told her, “I think she's having a bit of a tough time."
"Undoubtedly," Desi agreed, "So, pajama party?"
I looked up and caught her eyes, grinning from ear-to-ear at the look of her adorable smile.