by Rachel Lee
“Hey,” he said, glancing her way. “Couple of minutes.”
“Sure.” It gave her an opportunity to stare at him, just a bit because she didn’t want it to be obvious to everyone in the room.
Hunk, she decided, admitting it to herself at last. The way his heavyweight uniform shirt stretched across his shoulders when he twisted to reach for something was almost enough to make her drool. She found herself wishing she could have a taste of that without any involvement.
Hey, men got away with that, didn’t they? She’d heard otherwise about women, but at this point she might have liked to find out. One-night stand sounded so good.
Except... Except what? She was working here now. That might make things even more uncomfortable than her epilepsy.
She sighed, not realizing the sound was audible.
Stu looked up. “Sorry. Just another minute.”
“I wasn’t sighing out of impatience. It’s been a tough day. Go ahead.”
Bending over in her chair, she gave Snowy a neck rub. If he’d been a cat, she was sure he would have purred.
At last Stu hit one of the keys emphatically and swiveled his chair to look at her. “What’s up? Coffee? Dinner?”
“May,” she answered. “She wants a dog for protection. I said I’d ask.”
He smiled. “I guess it’s time to introduce you to Cadell Marcus. But coffee first. It’s been one of those days. Too busy to pull over and finish my reports.”
“Escaped sheep?” she asked.
He cracked a laugh. “Nah. Disagreements between neighbors, brandishing a firearm. Drunk and disorderly. Yes, at this time of day. People are already acting as if they’d been snowed in for a couple of months.”
She laughed with him. Even though the moon had just passed its first quarter, she asked, “Full moon?”
He grinned. “You never know. I never bought the idea, but I’m open to being proved wrong. Ready to go?”
The day had grown even warmer, possibly pushing into the low seventies. Cool for her, maybe not so much around here. Regardless, she enjoyed it a whole lot.
They decided to walk to Maude’s, allowing Snowy to stretch his legs a bit and check the new smells. He seemed to find quite a few of them.
“I wish,” Kerri said, “that I could sense what he senses. How he sees the world. But only sometimes.”
Stu wrinkled his nose. “Not unless I could change my preferences in odors.”
That made her laugh again, such a welcome distraction after a day spent with a woman who was very depressed and frightened. May had every right to feel that way, and she was holding up well, but Kerri couldn’t help feeling for her. Plus, it was bringing up some of her own memories of how she had felt when she woke in the hospital and learned her life was coming apart at the seams.
The drive to Cadell’s training school and ranch was a nice one. It was the first time Kerri had driven out of town in this direction and she was amazed. “It looks so flat, but then the mountains just leap up to the west, like they spring out of nowhere.”
“We’re actually in the foothills at the moment, but it’s difficult to tell as deep as the grasses are. The ground is rolling, and if you catch it in the right light, you can see it. But, I understand, glaciers pretty much leveled this place. If you see large rocks, you can blame it on them. Just try to imagine a river of ice filling this valley.”
Her mind boggled. Oh, she’d seen pictures, of course, but looking along the huge valley and trying to imagine it filled with ice was overwhelming.
“Okay, my mind’s blown.”
“It’s hard to conceive,” he agreed.
The air smelled sweet out here, she thought, glad he’d cracked the windows an inch or so. Snowy was leaning right over her shoulder, his nose pressed to the narrow opening, and she could hear him drawing in long sniffs, then huffing out air to make room for another lungful.
“Somebody’s sure in heaven,” she remarked.
“He’s about to meet another kind.” Stu turned them off the paved county road onto a dirt road, then again onto a slightly rutted drive with a farmhouse at the end.
“Cadell and his wife, Dory, live here. You probably won’t meet her, though, because she keeps a place in town. She’s a graphic artist and needs the better internet connection. It can be spotty out here.”
“I’m not surprised.”
Cadell must have heard them coming because a tall man came around the side of the house and waited for them, giving a brief wave.
After introductions were made, Stu explained the situation.
“Kerri is keeping an eye on May Broadwyn for us.”
“The rape victim?” Cadell’s face settled into stern lines. He looked at Kerri. “How’s she doing?”
“Scared, of course, and she still has a lot of physical pain. Anyway, today she expressed a wish for a police dog. I know she can’t have one, but a dog. A support-type dog like Snowy here, but one that will make her feel safe. Especially at night.”
Cadell nodded. “I might have one or two.” He glanced at Snowy. “Beautiful service dog you have. What’s his name?”
Snowy’s ears pricked, and his nostrils rapidly flared repeatedly as his nose tested his environment.
“Well, when I got him, his name was Snowball but I just call him Snowy.”
Cadell laughed. “Dogs get a lot of nicknames. He’s beautiful. He’s working out well?”
“Very. He’s certainly more patient than I deserve.”
“Well, come around back to the kennels. These days I’m training more service dogs than K9s for the police, because they have a limited need. But me and dogs... My wife often claims I love them more than her.” He winked and Kerri laughed.
“Anyway,” he continued as they walked around the house, “I hear you’ve been deputized. You may see me at the office from time to time. I’m still a part-timer, and often get called when they need extra hands.”
“Everyone in this county seems to know everything,” Kerri remarked.
“Not quite or we’d have the damned rapist in a cell already.”
Kerri couldn’t argue that.
There were eight dogs in kennels, but not in cages. All had an indoor area with bed and bowls that opened onto grassy areas surrounded by chain-link fences. Long enough areas to let them run.
“Those two down there are in training to become K9s for another PD. Sometimes I have to let them go.” He shook his head. “Anyway, I’ve got four here that I can guarantee will be protective. I realize service dogs need to be incredibly patient and intelligent and totally obedient, but... It’s always seemed to me that a disabled person could need protection at any time, so I don’t work to get rid of all their aggression. These are larger breeds, though. I don’t work with the little ones that are better suited to be comfort animals.”
Kerri spoke. “I think she’d feel safer with a larger dog. But gentle, too.”
“Of course, gentle,” he said. “First requirement.” He pointed out two to the left. “Both mutts, which usually promises great health and great smarts. This one over here, the one that’s black and white? I call him my gentle giant. He even likes kittens. The other one is a bit smaller, but practically built out of patience. How about I bring those ones over to meet May tomorrow and see what she thinks?”
Kerri thought about it. “Let me make sure it’s okay with her? We’ve been pretty much keeping men away for now. But the idea of a dog for protection may do the trick.”
“Sure, just give me a call. I’ll keep working with these two until she’s ready.”
* * *
“I liked Cadell a lot,” Kerri remarked. “So ready to help out.”
“I think everyone would like to find a way if we could.”
“Probably.” She leaned against the car door with her shoulder and let the breeze wash over her
. It was cooling again, but maybe it wouldn’t drop as low as yesterday. She could hope.
Snowy had happily taken care of his business at Cadell’s place but had remained obediently beside her even though he must have wanted to check out the dogs. For her part, she kept looking at Stu, wondering. Wondering what it would be like if he touched her. Feeling a nearly forgotten warmth between her legs. The bug had bitten. Maybe she could try to be a little less standoffish.
“Do you ever think about what dogs would do if we let them choose?”
Stu laughed. “I’m sure they’d like to spend their time playing with other dogs.”
“Yeah, that’s likely.” He reached out, touching her thigh almost absently. She hoped it wasn’t as casual as it seemed.
“On the other hand, they seem to choose us an awful lot.”
She couldn’t deny that.
Then Snowy nudged her cheek. Hard. “Oh, hell,” she said, and then she was gone.
* * *
Confusion filled her. How had she gone from the countryside to being in front of Maude’s diner? How had it happened so fast? Gradually, she settled into the moment, accepting that it had happened again. Then she had a godawful thought and terror began to creep through her.
She turned her head and saw that she was alone in the car with Snowy, who was whining. He never whined. Then he started licking her cheek as if in welcome.
My God, how long had she been out? Too long. Longer than she ever had.
How was that possible? Another wave of confusion ran through her. How did she get here in two minutes? Not possible. No way. Had she had repeated seizures? If so, she was in more trouble than she thought.
Movement caught her eye and she saw Stu emerge from the diner with two very large brown bags. He put them in the back, then came around to the driver’s side to hand her a large coffee.
“You ready for a latte?”
She accepted it with a trembling hand as Snowy settled into the back seat. “Stu...”
“We’ll talk about it all when we get to your place, okay?”
Talk about what? That she’d been out of it for a creepy amount of time? A terrifying amount of time? She struggled to remember her last moment of awareness, and to try and figure out how long it had taken them to get here.
“Stu,” she said again.
“Take it easy, Kerri. Just take it easy. I want to see you get some food in you. Have you eaten at all today?”
“Uh... Breakfast.”
He just shook his head and backed out before turning them toward the apartment.
He insisted on carrying everything upstairs, said he would feed Snowy, then when they were inside began pulling out food containers. “Do me a favor and eat something, dammit. Or just drink the coffee. I put sugar in it, and no complaining.”
She didn’t feel like eating so she sipped the coffee. A new terror wrapped her and she hardly paid attention as he poured kibble and fresh water into bowls for the dog.
“He’ll probably want his walk after he fills his belly,” Stu remarked. As he passed behind her, where she sat on the stool, he squeezed her shoulder, followed by a hug that she wanted to melt into. She ached when he let go and sat beside her. No. Not when she had this problem.
“I’m serious about eating. If you had low blood sugar, that may have made things worse.”
“How long?” she asked, looking at him, seeking his reassurance.
“I can’t say for sure,” he answered. “Does Snowy often lick you when you’re seizing? Or just after?”
“Not that I’ve ever known.”
“Well, then, you need to take better care of yourself, get regular meals and so on. Because after about a minute and a half, that dog started getting seriously upset. He barked. He whined. Then he started licking you. He was trying to wake you up. And if he doesn’t do that when you’re seizing, best bet is you had low blood sugar.”
She felt the first twitch of hope. “Maybe.”
He began to open containers. “Help yourself. The thing is, just to be safe, you need to see a doc soon. But considering the stress, and that you’ve been so focused on May, and tense, probably, about a bazillion things, this may be a one-off.”
“God, I hope so.”
“Anyway, no point worrying needlessly. You weren’t out all that long. We were almost to town when it hit, it didn’t take me long in Maude’s so relax until you know something different.”
But she couldn’t relax. What was going on with her? Her former trust in her innate health was long gone. She wasn’t invulnerable. Bad things happened. All that crap she had dealt with as a cop could happen to her, too. Some of it had happened.
And it put her out of running for a romantic relationship. God, what if it happened during sex?
Desperate, she drained the coffee. Stu pushed a burger in front of her. “Calories,” he said.
“You can’t know...”
“Eat. What I know is you didn’t eat all day and you’ve been dealing with a mountain of stress—”
“May’s the one stressed.” She hardly cared that she interrupted him. She still didn’t want to eat, but the first interest in the burger eventually poked through. She lifted it, telling herself she needed to eat it regardless.
“She’s stressed, all right, but do you honestly believe she’s the only one?”
“What do you mean? She’s in an awful situation.”
“Bite. Chew. I’ll keep talking.”
“Don’t order me around.”
“I will until I get your attention. Your body knows what you need even if your brain doesn’t.”
She took a bite, then realized her hunger had reawakened. It was a good burger, too. “I’m listening,” she said when she had swallowed. Her stomach suggested she eat another mouthful.
“How long has it been since you wore a badge?”
Her head swung around to look at him. He had opened a burger for himself.
“Over a year,” she said. “There was the neurologist trying to find a med for my seizures, and I had to train with Snowy. Then it took a while to find this teaching gig.”
He nodded, pushing his burger back a little as he rose and went to her fridge. “Orange juice?” Then he grimaced. “Not good with a burger, huh?”
Despite everything, she almost laughed. “There’s bottled water in there.”
“But no calories in it.” He made an exaggerated sigh, but brought her a bottle, unscrewing the top before he put it in front of her. He settled in beside her and lifted his own burger to his mouth. He was apparently hungry, too, because he ate half of it before putting it down, sipping coffee and wiping his mouth with a paper napkin. Then he turned to look at her again.
“Okay, more than a year of dealing with the loss of a job you loved, a new health problem that complicated everything and was probably a huge blow to your self-esteem. Add job hunting to that list, moving to a strange place, starting all over again.”
She opened her mouth to respond, but he held up a hand. “Let me finish, okay? Then you can argue with me.”
She nodded. The lingering taste of food in her mouth made her reach for more.
“So, on the subject of stress. You’re in a new environment. You’ve had to deal with all these changes and I would hardly say that you’re fully settled in. You’ve still got a long way to go before you feel fully comfortable here.”
She nodded. She couldn’t disagree with that.
“So, out of the blue, you get your badge back. You’re handed a tough first assignment. Here you are, wanting to be perfect, to do everything right, because you want to hang on to that badge and the purpose that goes with it. You’re worried about messing up somehow. You’re worried about May. You’re hoping against hope that you can find some helpful tidbit of information, all the while hoping you can help May get through at least t
he first part of her shock and wounding.”
When he put it like that, she didn’t know how to argue. He might be exaggerating her stress a bit, but the stress remained real. She hadn’t been looking at the wider picture, but instead had been relying on what was right under her nose at any moment.
“Then,” he added after finishing the rest of his burger, “you’re probably not taking the best care of yourself. Sleep, food, all those essential things are going by the wayside at this moment. So if you want to know why you passed out in the car briefly, my guess is you’re freaking worn out and need to cut yourself a little slack. And take care of yourself. Gage isn’t going to snatch that badge back because you can’t solve this crime. For Pete’s sake, Kerri, he’s got a bunch of investigators. They’re not exactly solving it, either.”
She had to agree with that, too. Except for one thing. “You make me sound stupid.”
“You’re not at all stupid. You’re a bulldog. Believe me, I recognize the trait. I suffer from a bit of it myself. Hence arresting damn near thirty of my troops for drug violations. I suspect my predecessor in the unit took the easy way out. Not me. No. So I get it. But...to stay healthy and on top of all this, at least look after yourself.”
Well, she had started to argue with him before he said a word, then had listened and she no longer really wanted to fight with him. He was right. She’d been applying thumbscrews to herself for some time now and regaining a badge and the law enforcement responsibilities she was allowed to hold... Yeah, they’d added new stressors. She’d lost her job once. She couldn’t bear to do it again.
Now the home fries caught her attention, and she ate one. Then another. They were still good, although not quite as good as fresh from the fryer.
“I’m a mess,” she said presently.
He shook his head. “Nope. Not gonna say yes to that.”
“Are you going to agree with me at all?” she demanded, feeling a few sparks of irritation ignite.