My Blood Approves

by Amanda Hocking

  “So you’re saying that another vampire killed Elise?” My eyes were wide, and he nodded.

  “It nearly destroyed Peter. He went into a very dark period for awhile.” A troubled expression went on Ezra’s face, and I didn’t want to know what Peter had been through or what he had done.

  “He’s fought in every major war since WWI, up until this last excursion in the Middle East,” Ezra continued. “He had blood lust or a death wish, or some combination of that, for a very long time, but he’s mostly come out of it now. He’s not the same man he once was, though.”

  “It must’ve been terrible for him,” I said. I had spent hardly any time with him, but it would be agony for me if anything happened to him.

  “It was,” Ezra agreed solemnly. “But he had moved on, as best he could. After Elise died, he assumed that that part of his life was over. We all had. But then you came along.”

  “How did you know I was meant for Peter?” I asked. “Jack stumbled upon me long before I met Peter.”

  “We didn’t, not at first, although Mae suspected immediately.” With that, Ezra gave a small shrug. “None of it really made sense.”

  “What do you mean?” I crinkled my forehead, trying to understand.

  “For starters, you’re human.” Ezra gave me an even look, and I shook my head. “We’re never intended for humans. Both Peter and Elise were vampires when they met, and so was Mae when I met her. We’re not callous, exactly, but we just don’t feel attachments to humans the way we do to other vampires.

  “When Jack came home and said he’d met you, we couldn’t figure it out,” Ezra went on. “He connected with you instantly, but he didn’t feel that… physical need, the way we do.”

  I nodded, knowing exactly what he’d meant. I felt it the instant I saw Peter, and it only got more intense with time.

  “But the connection was something we all understood,” Ezra explained. “Because Peter is of my blood, I felt connected with Elise, and both Peter and Jack feel connected with Mae.”

  “Do you feel connected with me?” I thought that I felt connected with him, but it was hard to tell what was a real connection and not just falling under the spell of his perfection.

  “Yes.” Ezra smiled warmly at me, and I flushed. “I feel more connected to you than I have with any human since I’ve been a vampire.”

  “Jack said my safety was top priority for you,” I mumbled dazedly. It was insanely flattering and intimidating knowing that I had fallen into Ezra’s favor.

  “He wasn’t exaggerating,” Ezra grinned wider. “You are in a very unique position.”

  “Is that what the issue is about biting me?” I asked.

  “Yes and no.” Ezra tilted his head. “Remember when I said that we were possessive and territorial? As soon as Peter met you, you were his. He felt it inside him, the way you do.

  “Peter lost Elise, and it devastated him completely,” Ezra continued. “He vowed never to feel that way again. To be perfectly honest, I doubt that he could survive it.” Ezra exhaled, looking rather sad. “He doesn’t want to want you. It doesn’t change the way he feels, because nothing can.

  “On top of everything, you’re so fragile.” He eyed me up seriously. “When you’re with someone, the way we are, we frequently drink each other’s blood. But for you, it is dangerous, especially with Peter feeling the way he feels. It would be very easy for him to get caught up in the moment and take things too far.

  “He ran the other night because he didn’t want to hurt you,” Ezra continued. “It’s not supposed to be this hard, Alice. It’s usually a very simple, clean process. But this is much, much more complicated.”

  “Because of Elise?”

  “Yes, and because you’re human.” He had a drawn expression and he sighed. “And because of Jack.”

  “Because Jack wanted to bite me last night?”

  “It’s more than that.” Ezra looked at me knowingly. “Alice, Jack’s fallen in love with you.”

  “What?” Startled, I blushed randomly. I had considered the possibility that I was falling for him, but as Ezra had just explained, vampires didn’t fall in love with humans. “I-I didn’t think that was possible.”

  “Neither did I,” Ezra admitted soberly. “He shouldn’t feel anything for you. You’re human, you’re meant for Peter, and you’re not his. Maybe it was because he spent so much time with you before you met Peter and fully melded with him.”

  “So… what does this mean? Does it transfer? Can I just be with Jack instead of Peter?” I asked, and Ezra looked very shocked by my questions.

  “You would want that?” He looked at me evenly. “You want to be with Jack instead of Peter?”

  “I don’t know,” I confessed uneasily. “I mean, if Peter doesn’t even want me, it just seems stupid to force something.”

  “Peter still wants you,” Ezra was quick to clarify.

  “Then why isn’t he with me?” I demanded. “Why was Jack the one I wanted last night?”

  “I don’t know,” Ezra said at length. “Peter will be home soon, and hopefully, we can get some of this straightened out then.”

  The car had started gliding into familiar territory, and I knew we weren’t far from their home.

  “What about Jack?” I asked softly.

  “Peter can’t know how he feels or how close he came to biting you last night,” Ezra warned me. “And he can never bite you. Peter will be able to smell him on you, and that won’t be good for either of you.”

  “Am I still allowed to be around Jack?” My heart broke at the thought of a life without him, even if I had Peter.

  “Yes, of course. You both must be very in control of yourselves.”

  “Are you sure that I am meant for Peter?” I asked him carefully as we pulled into the driveway.

  “Yes.” Ezra answered definitively. The garage door closed behind us, but we stayed in the car. “Something’s off this time, but there’s no other explanation.”

  “Oh.” It was strange how one sentence could exhilarate and devastate me.

  “Are you in love with Jack?” Ezra’s voice was barely above a whisper, as if he was afraid of someone hearing.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted honestly. Tears welled in my eyes, and I bit my lip.

  “Alice, listen to me very carefully. If you care anything for Jack, you mustn’t act on it.” His deep brown eyes settled on me, conveying the severity of his words. “I’m not trying to frighten you, but… it’s just the way things are, and I am very sorry.”

  “It’s alright.” I wiped my palms across my eyes, trying to smear away the tears.

  “Are you okay to go in?” Ezra asked.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” I said. He waited for me to open the car door and start getting out before he got out. “So, does Mae like me so much cause of the whole blood thing and her being yours and all that?”

  “No. Mae loves you because she’s Mae, and that’s what she does.” Ezra smiled brightly me, relieved to talking about a subject he was quite fond of. Putting his hand on the small of my back, we walked into the house. “Honestly, are we what you envisioned when you thought of vampires?”

  “Hardly,” I scoffed, and he laughed warmly.

  “You’re home!” Mae shouted, running into the entrance and throwing her arms around me. For the first time, Matilda didn’t run and greet us, but I realized that’s because Jack wasn’t with me. “I was a little afraid we’d scared you off last night.”

  “You can never scare me off,” I said into her shoulder. She finally released me and cupped my face in her hands, staring at me as if to make sure I was real.

  “Oh you look so tired! Did you sleep at all?” Her eyes were anxious, so I nodded and forced a smile. “You know what you need, love? A nice warm bath. We have a fabulous Jacuzzi tub in our room, and I’ll get some bubbles going and you’ll be as right as rain.”

  “How right is rain really?” Jack wondered dryly, and I pulled my head away from hers to look ove
r at him.

  He leaned against the doorway, smiling crookedly at me. My heart swelled just at the sight of him. Last night, I had been so afraid that he would be gone forever, and I couldn’t contain myself. I rushed over to him and threw my arms tightly around his waist.

  “Hey, I’m okay, I’m okay.” He gently pushed me off, holding his hands on my shoulder until I was a foot away from him. “Okay? I’m okay.”

  “I was just worried.” I blinked rapidly, fighting back tears, and swallowed hard.

  “Yeah, you look like it,” Jack said quietly, and his concern washed over me.

  “She just needs a nice warm bubble bath!” Mae wrapped an arm tightly around my waist so she could pull me away from Jack, and it did require some effort on her part. “We have some wonderful lilac bath salts that just melt the tension away.”

  Mae continued telling me all the amazing features of her tub as she led me away, but I glanced back over my shoulder at Jack.

  “You’ve really got to be more careful,” Ezra warned him.

  “I didn’t even do anything!” Jack protested, and I wondered dully how this all could possibly work out in the end.

  The hot Jacuzzi wasn’t quite as magic as Mae had professed it would be, but it really did help relax me at least. All of this seemed so bizarre. In a time not so long ago, I hadn’t even known these people, and now it would be impossible to imagine the rest of my life without them, however long that life might end up being.

  When I finally pulled myself out of the relaxing waters of the tub, I wrapped myself in one of their gigantic plush towels. Mae had filled her bedroom with lilac scented candles, and it was all aglow with candle light.

  Laid out on the white bedspread, she had left satin pajama pants and a matching blue camisole for me. Since their house generally ran cold, I put my hoodie on over it, but it almost felt like sacrilege to put something so ordinary over her extravagance. They lived on a whole other plane from me, in every way possible.

  “I merely stated that you rolled the Jeep.” Ezra’s words wafted down the hall towards me when I opened their bedroom door. “It’s not asking that much that you pay for it.”

  “You just want me out of the house more,” Jack grumbled.

  “That wouldn’t hurt you either,” Ezra said.

  I made my way down the hall to the kitchen, and they all stopped talking when I came ins. Mae stood amongst a mass of dishes and food splayed out all over the counter tops. She had white powder on her cheeks and some kind of red sauce dripped all over an elegant white apron.

  Jack sat on a stool pulled up to the counter, and I’m sure he fancied himself helping, but I’d imagine that he spent more time playing with the ingredients. As it was, he was juggling a tomato and a lemon when I walked in.

  “Oh, you look so much better!” Mae beamed at me. Jack dropped the tomato on the counter and deliberately looked away from me. “Wasn’t that bath fabulous?”

  “Yeah, it was pretty great.” I ran my fingers through my tangles of wet hair, and I could almost see Mae longing to play with it. Walking over to the mess she was making, I was careful to keep a distance from Jack. “What are you doing?”

  “Trying to make you some kind of comfort food,” Mae smiled grimly at me. “I used to be an amazing cook, I swear! Everyone in my neighborhood loved my cooking!” Jack scoffed, and she reached across the counter to slap him on the arm. “I was! You would’ve been thrilled to eat anything I made!”

  “Whatever you say.” Jack leaned back in the stool, moving farther out of arm’s length, in case Mae decided to swat him again.

  “It’s just been so long since I’ve cooked anything.” Mae looked sourly at the mess around her, which consisted of everything from cucumbers to pears to pie crusts. “I’ve just forgotten what everything tastes like.” A spoon was in a bowl of something red, and she gave it one superficial swirl, then looked apologetically at me. “I don’t think that I’ve made anything that you can actually eat.”

  “What about this?” Jack held up the tomato towards me, but I just shook my head.

  “I’m okay. I’m not even hungry.”

  “Oh!” Mae shouted, her eyes glittering. “Your brother is a cook, isn’t he?”

  “Not professionally, but yeah, he’s really good,” I told her hesitatingly. I liked Milo and all, but there was too much going on over here, and I didn’t really want him to come over. At least not tonight.

  “Oh fantastic! And I’m sure he knows all of your favorite recipes!” She overflowed with her own genius. “Here. Why don’t you just give me his phone number and I’ll give him a call. Oh, what time is it? It’s not too late is it?” She glanced around for a clock, and it was only a quarter to nine. “He’s still awake, isn’t he?”

  I nodded, and Mae whipped her phone out of her pocket, and I gave her his number.

  “Oh, Milo!” Mae smiled so wide, it looked almost painful. “I’m so glad you answered! Oh, I didn’t wake you, did I? I’m sorry, love. I don’t want to disturb you.” He must’ve answered with something positive, because she laughed lightly, and continued about making me the perfect meal to make me feel better.

  “I’m really not very hungry.” I lowered my voice considerably, just in case Mae might hear, but she was talking to Milo and swooping around the kitchen, gathering pots and pans and whatever she thought she’d needed. “Why do you guys have pots and pans anyway?”

  “It makes us look more normal.” Jack rolled his shoulders. “I mean, we don’t really need kitchens, and in a household of four people, we have seven bathrooms.”

  “Bathrooms add resale value!” Ezra said. From his tone, I gathered that this wasn’t the first time they’d had this argument. “We’re not going to live here for that long, so its best if we get our money’s worth.”

  “What do you mean you’re not gonna live here long?” I had been leaning on the counter, but I snapped my head sharply and looked over at him.

  “I can only be twenty-six for so long before the neighbors start to notice,” Ezra elaborated, but it still took a minute for it to sink it. They were never going to age, but everyone around them would. “We move every five years so, but we’ve been staying around Minneapolis for quite awhile.”

  “I’ve never lived anywhere else,” Jack added.

  “You were born here?” I gave him an odd look. For no real reason, I had just always kinda imagined that he was a transplant from California or Vegas or something like that.

  “Stillwater, actually, but it still makes it tricky living that close to my family.” He had said it casually, like it was no big thing, but something had just dawned on me, and he noticed the shift in my expression. “We can’t see our families. We change, at first, to look better, and then we don’t change at all.”

  “And it’s too hard watching them grow old.” Ezra had somehow managed to take something that was really terrible sound at least vaguely soothing, but my heart still clenched.

  I looked over at Mae, standing at the stove and chatting amicably with my brother, and felt the full ramification of what he was saying.

  “It’s not as bad as it sounds,” Jack said gently.

  There were things that I hadn’t thought about when I got involved with them, and I’m sure there would be even more things that would come up later. Nothing about this was going to be easy.

  As if to solidify my point, Peter suddenly walked into the kitchen. His jeans and shirt were slim fit, revealing the slender lines of his gorgeous body. His blazing emerald eyes landed on mine, for just a second, then flitted away, as if he couldn’t stand to look at me.

  Just being this close to him made my skin tremble and my blood pound heavily in my ears. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Jack flinch, but for once, I didn’t feel it. When Peter was around, he eclipsed everything else, including the feelings that I sometimes borrowed from Jack.

  “What’s all this?” Peter gestured to Mae’s attempts at cooking. She’d been too distracted with her food prepa
ration to notice him walk in, but when he spoke, she shot him a nervous, startled look.

  “I’ll call you back,” Mae muttered into the phone, then quickly hung up and dropped it in her pocket. “Peter, you’re home!”

  “I am.” Peter chewed the inside of his cheek, and he deliberately had to keep from looking at me. I wondered how he could even fight the urge. For me, it was so overpowering that I could barely breathe. “Am I to assume this is a feast for my return?”

  “Peter, she knows,” Ezra told him quietly.

  His eyes turned on me sharply, sending a rush through me so rapidly that I felt dizzy. Behind me, I heard a stool clatter to the floor, but I didn’t look back to see Jack storming out of the room. Peter didn’t really seem to notice either but walked slowly over to me, his eyes never leaving mine.

  “So, you’re feeding her now?” Peter was looking at me, but he was asking someone else, not that anyone bothered to answer. He reached out and touched a wet strand of my hair and breathed in deeply. “And she’s showering here too. Is she living here now?”

  “No.” Ezra let the word hang in the air.

  Peter just kept staring at me. In the back of my mind, I was aware that there were other people in the room, and it should be embarrassing that Peter was looking at me so intently in front of an audience, but somehow, it wasn’t.

  “So you know we’re vampires?” Even though Peter smiled at me, there was an underlying edge to his voice. “You know that we kill? You could’ve just as easily been food for us, but with a bit of luck and chance, you’re standing here instead.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me. I could feel heat radiate from his body in a way that the others seemed incapable of. My skin tingled and that tugging feeling encircled my heart. Every single part of my body screamed out for him, and painfully, I was starting to believe that he didn’t feel the same way.

  “Why are you here?” Peter asked huskily.