The Fiancé (It's Just Us Here Book 6)

by Christopher X Sullivan

  “I didn’t want that,” Mark whispered. “I didn’t deserve that.”

  I rolled my eyes at him and groaned. “How can you say that? God, you can be so fucking stupid sometimes.”

  “I know. I got worked up. I wanted everything to be perfect, and we weren’t perfect. And I was scared I was going to scare you away, or that I was going to push you too far and hurt you. And when I read those stories... it was like a knife.”

  “I didn’t mean to keep it from you,” I lied.

  “You always were a terrible liar.” He wasn’t being mean to me. We were speaking respectfully. I had my legs hiked over his and my body pressed against his chest with his arm around me. His other hand was holding mine.

  “Those stories are embarrassing. That’s how I made most of my quick income. I could crank out a story like that and make a few hundred bucks.”

  “It’s not the stories that got me so worked up. It’s the fact that you wrote them. You. With all your hang-ups.”

  “I know,” I said. I had relived that moment hundreds of times. I could see the pain in his eyes as he yelled at me. I could feel the confusion in his brain. I could understand his exhaustion with my difficult personality. And I absolutely knew how much he hated saying the things that came out of his mouth.

  I cried again.

  “Are we back together?” I finally asked. I wanted to hear it from his mouth again.

  “Yes. Forever. I will always come back for you.”

  I nodded once, against his body. “Good.”

  “Do you want to look at my new car?”

  “What?” Right now? I’m fucking crying and trying to catch my breath while leaning against your chest. And I really don’t like your new blond hair. And you’ve put on weight. And I still can’t get over the fact that you finished your degree and got a job at an advertising firm.

  “It’s the white one, right there.” Mark pointed at a fairly standard looking car.

  “No sports car? No Lamborghini?”

  “I took somebody’s advice and got a more practical car. But I’m itching to have a convertible again. I miss the open air when the weather is like this.”

  Did he need me to compliment his car?

  “The car looks nice,” I said.

  “Yeah. I’m going to have it in my second parking spot when I get my Saab.”

  “Mmm.”

  “You’ll have to park your car in the visitor’s section.”

  “Mmm.” Whatever.

  “You can always drive this baby. It’s smooth, and so good with the gas.”

  “I’m not driving your car.”

  “But you got in a wreck—”

  “In my mom’s car.”

  “I don’t want you driving your old piece of shit.”

  “We’re not going to have an argument just after we got back together.”

  “This is common sense,” he argued, not knowing when to give up. Why he would pick a fight at that particular moment... I have no idea.

  “I don’t want to fight.”

  “We’re not fighting. I’m just telling you the way it’s going to be.”

  “Oh really?”

  “Yes, really,” he mocked. “I have to be firm with you from the beginning. You’re a slippery dude and it’s impossible to make you do anything if I don’t speak with force.” He squeezed my arm. “I’m going to get you in that car.”

  “I’ll go with you,” I said. “Leave my car here.”

  “Forever?” Judging by his tone, Mark thought he had won.

  “No. I just... don’t want to be separated from you right now. I feel weird. Let’s drive out of here.”

  “You want to go home and change?”

  I cried again. “I’m moving in,” I said.

  “You weren’t even going to ask? You’re just going to push your way in?” Mark squeezed me again. “Like the first time I took you back to my place.”

  “Stop teasing. I’m moving in.”

  “What about your parents? What about what people will think?”

  “Screw my parents. Screw everyone else. I was stubborn before. You were right, I should have moved in with you.”

  “It makes me feel good to hear you admit that. And that you want to live with me. You can have the guest room.”

  “Hell no. I get your room. We’re sharing.”

  “Huh!” Mark gasped. “It’s almost like you’re my boyfriend.”

  “Possibly. Don’t push your luck.”

  “I’ll take good care of you.”

  “And I’ll take good care of you.”

  We sat there and talked for a long time. He told me a lot of what had happened to him in the past eight months. He told me about his new community in the church and how happy he was there. He told me what had happened with his family and how Caleb had finally stopped asking about me.

  I was more reserved with what had happened in my life. How do you tell your soulmate that you started dating a girl? I never would have dated if it hadn’t been for Mark—Mark made me see that I could bring happiness to a person if we were in a committed relationship. He also showed me how much I wanted to be in a partnership. Beth was nice. I was going to have to break it off with her—which was sad because she was kind of in love with me.

  Then there was Boss.

  Then there were my anger issues. I was surprised I hadn’t exploded at Mark like I had planned. Instead I had whimpered like a chastised puppy and curled into his body like old times.

  “Are you happy?” I asked at one point.

  “Of course. Truly, madly.”

  “Good. That’s the essential thing.”

  “The Essential Thing...” Mark leaned down and lowered his voice. “...is that you know you have me... forever. I’m yours and I always will be. No matter what happens, you can talk to me about anything, and I will always come back to you.”

  I tried to thank Mark for saying that, but I couldn’t find my voice and ended up clutching his body tighter and rubbing my head into his no-longer-ripped chest. It was kind of nice how he had a little extra cushion on his upper body.

  “Well,” Mark said finally. “I gotta get going. I have a meeting at one.”

  “What?”

  “I know. I’d call and cancel, but I kind of really like my new job...” Mark looked embarrassed. “Aw fuck, I’ll call and cancel.”

  “No. You can’t do that.”

  “Yeah I can. You just told me you don’t want to be separated. I’m going to spend every minute with you this week. Just you watch.”

  “I have dinner with my parents on Tuesday night,” I said dully.

  “Well, I’m invited.”

  “Hey!”

  I let him laugh.

  “I’ll tell them. Soon. But first let me settle in. My God. You would show up with me to a Tuesday family dinner. Hey, Chris. Who is this random person at the front door? Oh, that’s Mark. He’s my soulmate. No big deal.”

  Mark chuckled. “I know where you live.”

  “You can’t do it like that.”

  “I would never force you out. It has to be what you want to do.”

  “I want to—” I sighed. “I want to go back in time and do it differently. I wish my Grandma could have met you.”

  “Hey... happy thoughts, babe. Now is a time for happy thoughts.”

  “I know. I can’t help it. I regretted it ever since. I wish she could have seen how happy I was. That’s all she ever wanted for me.”

  “She did see you happy. She saw you up on that stage, playing with the crowd. Learning to become a professional author.” Mark kissed the side of my head. “I did talk to her. She was sweet.”

  “But she didn’t know who you were. Who you really were. I regret that so much. And now that you’re—” back. “I regret it even more. I’m telling my family about you right away.”

  “Do you want me to show up tomorrow?”

  “No.” I shifted nervously. “No. Not yet. But soon.”

  “You can c
ome up for my sister’s birthday over the weekend. We’re having a dinner at my mom’s house.”

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “I want to come out to my parents before I go see your family. It’ll be too easy to get into old habits. I want to tell my parents and I want to tell them first.”

  “Okay,” Mark said. “I’ll try to smooth the way for your return.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Eh, my family kind of hates you now.”

  “What?”

  “I may have told them... well, I might not have told them everything that went down. They might think... that you kind of... left me.”

  “WHAT!”

  “You did! We left each other! It’s not completely untrue!”

  “Mark! You yelled at me and called me all kinds of names! Does your family really think you had nothing to do with our split! What did you tell them?”

  “I...” He scratched his head. “I didn’t tell them anything. But I might not have corrected their assumptions.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I’ll clear it up with them. They’ll love to—”

  “It had to do with me coming out, didn’t it?” I demanded. “That’s what was supposed to happen before Christmas. You told them I backed out, didn’t you?” Mark hesitated. “Didn’t you!”

  “Shit. I forgot how you never let me get away with anything.”

  “I can’t believe this.” I leaned away from him and threw my hands up in disgust, but still kept my legs draped over his. I wasn’t ready to lose contact over a little heated bickering.

  “I didn’t tell them anything. But... it wasn’t like we were getting back together so it didn’t make sense to tell them. I thought we were done for sure.”

  “You lied. A lie by omission is still a lie... it’s a worse lie.” I crossed my arms.

  “It’s embarrassing,” Mark agreed. “Just like coming out to your mom and dad will be. If you don’t do it right away, then you keep procrastinating and it’s just easy to keep up the omission.”

  “Don’t try to pin this on me. I’m not gay. I don’t have to come out of any closets because I’m not in any closets.” I toned down my glare. “I just happen to be in love with a man. What’s so bad about that?”

  “Nothing. It’s perfectly normal.”

  “Shit. It’s not normal at all. I’m the least normal person ever!” There was my frustration back in full swing. I held my head between my hands.

  “I know now isn’t the right time, but I have to get home and clean up if I want to make my lunch meeting.”

  “Ah! This is not the right time for that!”

  He laughed at me. “Calm down. You’re coming with me.”

  “What?”

  “Be my assistant. I want you to come with me. You still have your suit, right?”

  “Yes,” I said quietly.

  “You didn’t burn it?”

  “I thought about it, but then...” I sighed. “Remember when you said I could start paying you back for it when I had an income of over fifty grand?”

  “Forget about it. It’s yours.”

  “I used that as a goal for the past couple months. I’ve been trying like crazy to get to that number.”

  “So you could see me again?”

  I nodded. “So I could come to you on my own terms. When we came to that arrangement, you said you would want to see me no matter what. That I would always bring a smile to your face.”

  “You would have. You do. I know it’s hard right now. I can see why we’re having these flashes of anger. I deserve it. I completely deserve it. But we’re going to get past this.” Mark stroked my arm.

  “We wasted so much time,” I said. “I spent twenty-eight years without anyone, then you came along. I don’t want to waste any more time.”

  “That sounds like a proposal,” he teased.

  “I don’t want to get married, fucker.” I slapped away his hand. “You’re more than that to me. You are so much more.”

  “I want to feel worthy of you. We need to communicate. I felt like you put me on a pedestal, like I was the best man in the world. I know that’s not true, I know I push you to do things you don’t want and I make you frustrated.”

  “We will communicate better. I will never judge you,” I promised.

  “You are a fucking horrible liar.”

  “Okay, I’ll tease you mercilessly. But I won’t hold anything against you. And you...” I sighed; it was time for the big truth. “We have to have an open relationship.”

  “What?”

  “We have to have an—”

  “I heard what you said. We’re not discussing that.”

  “It doesn’t have to be crazy. Maybe just one or two of your friends. But I want you to go out and loosen up every once in awhile. It’ll be best this way.”

  “You and your fucking bad ideas. This is a bad idea. I’m telling you right now.”

  “You’ll do it for me? Try it, at least?” I pinned him with my stare.

  Mark sighed, then ran his fingers through his dirty blond hair—I liked him better when it was that nice brown color. “Okay, we can try it. I’m not going to like it. I don’t think we need it.”

  “I think we do.”

  “I think you’re wrong.”

  “We’ll see,” I said simply.

  We walked to his car and held hands the entire way. We transferred some of my stuff out of my car. I got in the passenger side of Mark’s car and he still hadn’t let go of my hand. Then he climbed over me and into the driver’s seat, like a dunce. We never stopped touching.

  I thought it was cute so I laughed at him.

  I felt a flicker of a golden swirl, like what used to happen every time Mark did something silly and gave me one of those full smiles.

  We were back together. Holy moley. Mark and I are back together.

  Stacy was never going to forgive me. Lynn was going to freak out.

  I squeezed Mark’s hand and stared at my car as we left it behind in the parking lot.

  Let the fireworks begin.

  Mark's Assistant

  MARK DROVE ME TO MY apartment. We were hand in hand the entire ride, which helped me calm down and take stock of how my life had reversed itself in less than an hour.

  Also, it was stunning how much I didn’t care what other people would think. Mark was my guy. It was as simple as that. Everything else would work itself out... somehow. And if it didn’t work out smoothly, then Mark and I would find a way around the bumps.

  I stared at Mark as we rode into the congested city. We never should have been on the roads during lunch hour because cars were everywhere.

  “How are you holding up?” Mark asked.

  “Fine.”

  “Second guessing yourself?”

  “Never. Not with this.”

  He smiled. I told him it was a green light. He said he didn’t care. We got honked at and Mark finally crossed the intersection.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asked. “You’re quiet.”

  “I’m wondering how people are going to react. I’m finding that I—”

  “Stop worrying. You’ll worry yourself to death.”

  “I’m not worried.”

  “You always worry.”

  “That’s true.” I watched traffic out the window, still clutching his hand. “But not about this. I... don’t care. I don’t care what Tim and Stacy are going to say.”

  “You do care,” Mark corrected. I protested, but he overrode me. “You do. You worry about the littlest things. You want everyone to act exactly as you planned. You do care.”

  “Maybe.” I shrugged. “But I care about being with you more. Everything else comes second.”

  “Same,” Mark promised. “Except you’re third for me... first, second and third.”

  “You’re a dork,” I admonished.

  “I’m handsome.” I’d only been with him a few minutes and Mark was already reminding me of how
stupid he could be. “I’m the handsomest man you’ll ever see.”

  “I’m lucky alright,” I agreed. “I’m with one of the top ten most handsome men in all the land.”

  “The handsomest.”

  “Top ten.” I refused to call him the ‘number one’ of anything after that conversation, just because it annoyed him. He became ‘one of the top ten’ from that moment on.

  “Then I’m with one of the top ten most smartest men in all the land.”

  That earned him a snort of derision. Most smartest. We parked on the side of the road near my apartment and Mark complained that his car wouldn’t be in one piece when we returned, so just like old times. I told him that it would be fine because it didn’t stick out like his old sports car. We walked up to the third floor and I unlocked the door, but paused to listen before opening. Two guys were talking inside—one was immediately identifiable as Nick. The other was Travis, my buddy from college who would be taking over Suhail’s room.

  “Hey guys,” I said breezily.

  “There you are!” Nick said. “Took a long run. We’ve got shit—oh shit.”

  Mark walked in behind me and Nick nearly keeled over on the spot. He cursed again, but I ignored it. “So... Mark and I are back together.”

  “Oh shit,” Nick said.

  “Oh shit,” Travis echoed. “You never told me you had a boyfriend. I thought you were seeing a girl?”

  “Well.” I stuck my thumb at Mark. “Met this hobo in the park and it turns out he’s my partner and soulmate. What can you do? Now we’re together.” Mark stuck his hand out to Travis. “Mark, this is Travis; Travis, Mark.” They shook hands like strangers, even though they had technically met once last year.

  “Nice to meet you,” Travis said. “I’m moving in here in a couple weeks.”

  Mark dropped his hand and looked at me while mouthing the name ‘Travis’ with a questioning look. Mark knew all about Travis and how I had pined for his friendship in the years after college. There’s almost nothing offensive about my friend Travis. He’s shorter and thinner than me, but he has better posture which makes him seem closer to my height. He has brown hair and eyes, so pretty average. Plus this goatee-thing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him with a smooth face. He wore kid sizes in high school, so maybe he doesn’t want to be mocked as child-like and that’s why he’s always had trimmed facial hair.