All The Ugly Things (Love and Lies Duet Book 1)

by Stacey Lynn

  “Don’t.”

  Her words were her weapons, her distance from me her armor. Hell, I understood her need and yet my own need was unraveling. I could help her in one single text message. Five seconds of thumbs on a screen. That’s all it’d take.

  “I can handle this myself.” She squeezed my wrist before letting go.

  It was her soft voice that did me in. Made that pain in my chest warm every time I saw her in photos or heard about her. She shouldn’t have to. She should have a brother who was alive and parents who gave a shit.

  No amount of beating my head against a wall explaining that to her would help.

  I slid my phone back into my pocket and nodded. “Okay.”

  “Okay?” A brow arched as she covered a yawn with her hand again. “That was easy.”

  “Why are you so exhausted?”

  Purple moons rimmed her lower lids in stark contrast to her alabaster skin.

  “I don’t sleep well. I’m used to it.”

  “Why?”

  “Why the third degree this morning?”

  “It’s two in the afternoon.” I grinned. It always seemed to defuse the situation and her irritation with me even when she wouldn’t admit it.

  With a shake of her head, she set down her coffee. “Why are you here?”

  “Because I missed you.”

  This time, they flew from my mouth before I could rein them in, but that was okay. I lied enough to her.

  “Hudson.”

  My name came out on a sigh. I took it as a happy one. Sure, her body posture said otherwise, maybe a bit overwhelmed, but I was a glass-half-full kind of guy.

  “And because I wanted you to come to dinner with me tonight.”

  At that, she smirked. “Another walk around the block?”

  “More like a drive out to West Des Moines. Dad has dinner on Sundays. I’d like for you to come.” She opened her mouth to say something, but I didn’t let her. “He’d like for you to be there.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he likes you.”

  No big deal, right? To her it was. Her face paled and her fingers trembled. What was so wrong inside her mind where she had such a hard time believing people liked her? I wanted to dig into all those crevices, fill them with hugs and laughter and prove she deserved so much more than she’d ever had. Sure, she’d had money. And Josh, from how she made it sound. But had she ever had true, unconditional love?

  I doubted it, and I hated it for her.

  Which was why I would bust my ass to give her everything she deserved from this point forward.

  Except the truth.

  Next to me, Lilly brushed her hands down her thighs. After convincing her to come to Dad’s with me, I left her to her afternoon so she could get ready and when I came back to get her, she’d yanked me inside the apartment so fast my head spun.

  “What do I wear?”

  She was still wearing her cut-off sweat shorts and a tie-dyed, oversized, hooded sweatshirt she had on earlier.

  “It’s dinner at Dad’s. Wear whatever you want.” I flipped out my hand. “Wear that for all I care.”

  “I can’t do that! What will everyone else think?”

  Panic raised her voice, and I went to her, pressing my hands to her cheeks. “You could show up in sweats and fresh from sleep, pajamas, or a ball gown. The only thing anyone will care about is that you’re there. I promise.”

  “I should wear a dress,” she mumbled, eyes wide and round. Afraid.

  That she wanted to make a good impression was endearing. Her fear over it unnecessary.

  “I’m in jeans and a T-shirt, Lilly. The only thing that matters is your comfort. Okay?”

  I bent down to look her in the eyes, let her see my sincerity. It took several beats of her heart before she nodded and exhaled.

  “Okay. Okay. I’m okay.”

  “Good.” She smelled delicious. Like white cake and vanilla frosting. My favorite. I wanted to lean in and see if she tasted as sweet, but I dropped my hands and stepped back. “Go change if you want. I’ll wait here.”

  Now we were here, Lilly dressed in jeans that didn’t look faded and worn from use and in a silver tank top with sparkles along the neckline. She’d hugged a black sweater to her chest almost the entire ride and hadn’t spoken a word.

  I wasn’t surprised. I knew her past. I knew how she didn’t like being in cars. Because of that, I’d made sure to drive cautiously. Add on the anxiety of dinner and I let her have her space.

  “This neighborhood is so beautiful,” she said as we drove through the golf club community where Dad lived. “Did you grow up here?”

  “Mostly. I think we moved out here when I was ten. Mom and Dad needing a bigger house and they wanted space for all of us to run.”

  “The yards are enormous.”

  “An acre of land for each lot, I think. Sucked on Halloween, though. We always begged Mom and Dad to take us to the neighborhoods where houses were closer together.”

  “More candy with less work?”

  “You got it.” She laughed quietly and slipped her bottom lip between her teeth. “What was your house like?”

  “Huge. Cold. Probably similar to this neighborhood in all honesty, but this just feels more comforting than mine ever did.”

  I bit down the urge to ask her why, but in truth, this neighborhood was beautiful even with its imperfections and occasional yards that went un-mowed for too long or leaves that didn’t get raked. Sure, we had money, and yet I doubted anyone in this neighborhood felt the need to show off how perfect they were as much as Lilly’s family had.

  I pulled into the curved driveway in front of Dad’s ranch home, right behind Brandon’s Land Cruiser.

  “Brandon will be here with his fiancée Jenna. She’s a nut and a bulldozer, but I think you’ll like her. If she gets to be too much, just let me know.”

  “Bulldozer?”

  “She’s a lawyer,” I said, as if that explained it all. “Deals in family law and she’s damn good. But that also means she thinks she’s right all the time.”

  Lilly laughed. “Who else is coming?”

  “Don’t know. Sometimes no one, sometimes there’s a full house. Sunday dinners are always an open invitation.”

  It wasn’t entirely uncommon for someone we hadn’t seen in years to show up, but my parents had started this tradition back when I was still a teenager, letting everyone know, for however long or short they were there they’d always be welcomed.

  “A few years after Mom’s death, Matt and Will came home. They were eight and ten when they were taken from their parents who couldn’t raise them and stayed with us for two months until suitable family members took them in. They showed up when they were twenty-two and twenty-four, wearing suits and large, nervous grins.” I smiled at the memory. I’d answered the door that day and while it had taken me a few seconds to remember them, they had no problems remembering me.

  “That’s… that’s incredible,” Lilly said, eyes watering and looking at the front door like it had magical powers.

  I was pretty sure it did. Or it was the people inside that brought the magic.

  “They hadn’t known about Mom but were in town visiting family.” I cleared my throat. That day. It wasn’t so uncommon but it stuck with me. They were wrecked when they learned about Mom. “Anyway, they’re successful now. Happy. They live in Chicago. Will owns his own carpentry business and Matt works for the Chicago Storm as one of the team’s sports therapists. I know they stay in touch with Dad now.”

  The Chicago Storm was Chicago’s NHL team. I didn’t elaborate. She grew up there.

  “Every time you talk about all the good your parents have done, it makes my heart hurt with envy.”

  Fuck. There was so much more to say. So much more to tell her. This… hearing this from her was everything.

  I reached over and took her hand in mine. It trembled and was cold and clammy but she squeezed my hand back with a fierce grip.

  �
��Even if Dad hadn’t looked into your past, there is nothing you could have done, nothing that could have happened to you that would surprise him or disgust him. Trust me, he’s seen it all, Lilly.”

  She blinked away tears filling her eyes. “I think I’m beginning to believe that.”

  Thank God.

  I gave her another moment to gather herself and when her grip on mine loosened, I let go. “Ready?”

  She turned to me and smiled, with watery but happy eyes for maybe the first time I’d ever seen. “For the first real home-cooked meal I’ve had since who knows when? Yes.”

  I climbed out of the truck and hurried around the hood so I could meet her as she opened her door and climbed down.

  “What’s your favorite?”

  “Favorite what?”

  “Food.”

  She shrugged. “It’s been so long since I’ve had good food, last week’s dinner an exception of course.”

  “Of course.”

  “I don’t know… I used to love simple food. Spaghetti. Tacos. Burgers. We had a live-in cook who made these crazy extravagant meals where we dined with china and flair. It never… I don’t know. The fancy stuff never tasted as good.”

  We were at the door and I reached for the knob. Since Dad knew she was coming, I trusted he’d put away all the pictures of Melissa. I prepared myself for the moment when I wouldn’t see it next to my mom’s in the entrance like I always did.

  “Then you’ll love tonight.” I grinned down at Lilly.

  “Why?”

  “Because Dad’s lasagna is out of this world.”

  Her grin was blindingly beautiful, not broken, but genuine.

  I opened the door to my childhood home, feeling ten feet tall and like a god among men.

  24

  Lilly

  “Wow.”

  The view was gorgeous. A wall of windows overlooking a large deck leading to bright green, rolling hills of grass. The golf course. I saw the country club sign when we pulled in but I hadn’t considered David would live right up against it.

  Between the entryway and the view, was cream carpet and dark wood, walnut-colored wood floors with bulky, country or farmhouse type furniture with brandish black knobs. Suede-looking chocolate brown couches filled the massive living room with a vaulted ceiling and floor-to-ceiling rock fireplace. In the very center, above the heavy wood mantle, was a massive television, currently set to a football game.

  Next to me, Hudson shut the door and toed off his shoes. I did the same, inhaling the scent of Italian food, heavy on the garlic and spices.

  “Do you want me to take your sweater?”

  “Sure. It’s warm in here.”

  And it wasn’t the temperature. It was the entire ambiance of everything that sparked more tears in my eyes. This was a home. A gorgeous house that had obviously not only been well-maintained over the years, but updated as well, and yet none of it looked like a showpiece. David must have set his thermostat to “Welcome home. Kick up your feet and stay awhile.”

  Movement to my right grabbed my attention and I watched as Hudson placed two fingers to his lips and pressed them to the glass.

  “Your mom?” I asked, although it was obvious. It was a black and white photo of a beautiful woman, hair tied in a knot at the nape of her neck and off to the side so it sat behind her ear. Pearl stud earrings, wearing what had to be a light-colored satiny colored shirt with a feminine collar. She was smiling toward something in the distance, with a soft look of endearment.

  “Yeah.”

  “She’s beautiful.”

  “She was. Inside and out.”

  I choked down the emotion coming from him, probably wafting off me.

  This was family. True family not solely by blood but bonded by love.

  I said a quick prayer to whoever was listening I would make it through the night without making a fool out of myself and followed Hudson into the home. He took my hand, held it tight as if he knew I needed that tether to something or I’d run.

  As we passed the stairs, voices from the kitchen filtered out, growing louder because we were closing the distance and also because the woman who was speaking kept raising her voice.

  She laughed then, loud and boisterous. Jenna. It had to be.

  “It’s called garlic bread for a reason, Brandon!”

  In the midst of the loud voices was David, his quiet, gentle rumble unintelligible to my ears, but the deep, warm tenor of it couldn’t be missed.

  In two weeks, I’d go to work for these men and the more time I spent around Hudson, the fewer reasons I could find to be concerned with how or why I was given the job or gained their attention.

  I was beginning to like them all too much.

  “Hello!” Hudson called, and immediately the sounds from the kitchen silenced like a whip through the air.

  “Finally!” Jenna appeared from the corner of the kitchen first, arms already open and a smile so wide it risked breaking her face in two. “Another woman! It’s about time you got here.” She yanked me to her in a hug, and I lost Hudson’s grip on my hand from the force of her strength. “I’m Jenna. And you’re Lilly. David told me you were coming and it’s fantastic. I need another female opinion.”

  She pulled back, curled her hands around my biceps.

  “I’m not sure I’m much help when it comes to anything kitchen-related.”

  “But you have to like garlic bread. Come on.” She pulled me with her and I shot Hudson a glance over my shoulder.

  “Jenna. You’re scaring her,” he said, grinning at me and shaking his head.

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Kinda,” I admitted.

  Jenna’s face scrunched. “You’ll get used to it,” she said with a shrug, not the least bit concerned about my reaction.

  Geez. Hudson wasn’t kidding. She was a lot. A force of nature.

  “Okay, Lilly. Help me out.” She let go of my arm once we reached the kitchen. David was by the stove, gloves on his hands like he’d just checked dinner in the oven and Brandon was off to the side, at the kitchen island with two loaves of bread in front of him, sliced in half and the openings face up. “Tell Brandon here that there is no such rule as too much garlic on garlic bread. I mean, it’s a travesty to limit it, right?”

  Brandon chuckled, shaking his head. Apparently he was tasked with the garlic-ing of the bread. “Just remember who’ll be signing your paychecks in a couple of weeks.” He shot me a playful warning tone, and I almost called him on it, but David beat me to it.

  “I will,” he said. He tugged off the oven mitts and came to me, holding out his hand. “We’re glad you could come tonight. It’s good to see you.”

  “Thanks.” I shook his hand. I might have allowed Jenna’s hug, but I wasn’t comfortable with it. And David was now technically my boss.

  Hudson dropped my hand and pulled his dad into a hug. “How you doing, old man?”

  “Not so old I still can’t whip you for calling me old.”

  “Please. You’ve never whipped anyone. You’re too soft.” He poked his dad in the ribs and stepped back.

  This was a normal family, filled with misfits and love and loud laughter and probably messes that didn’t always get picked up immediately after making them without consequences.

  It wasn’t entirely foreign to me. Most of my friends in high school, especially Kendra, came from families like this. Not all. Many were far less than perfect. Some I wouldn’t have wanted to trade my own family in for. It’d just been so long since I was around normalcy, my skin started to itch, like I was draped in a cheap wool sweater.

  “As soon as these yahoos stop arguing over the bread and get it cooking, dinner will be ready,” David said. “Can I get you something to drink?”

  A half-emptied wine glass sat on the counter, lipstick print that matched Jenna’s mouth color on the rim. Two other glasses were out, filled with what looked like beer. “Water, please. Thank you.”

  “I’ll get it,” Hudson said. H
is hand settled at my lower back, gently guiding me toward the barstools close to Brandon. “Have a seat. Relax,” he whispered into my ear.

  Tension in my shoulders and neck relaxed at the soft command. I hadn’t realized I was so tense, but as I scooted onto the stool, it left me with a gentle whoosh.

  Right.

  Family.

  Dinner.

  Normal Sunday things.

  I could do this.

  He returned with two water bottles, sliding one in front of me and uncapping his own bottle.

  Next to me, Brandon capped the garlic salt, but I took it from him. “More garlic,” I said. “Jenna’s right.”

  She laughed, that boisterous contagious sound, and slapped her hand to the counter. “I love you already.”

  “Word to the wise,” Brandon said, smiling down at me. “Jenna is always right. Or at least she believes she is.” He shot his fiancée a wink, filled with intent even I, as inexperienced as I was, could see the playful wickedness in.

  “You know what they say. Happy wife, happy life.”

  “That’s the truth,” David said. “Is that bread finally ready yet, or are we going to be waiting until tomorrow to eat dinner?”

  I gave the garlic salt shaker another pass over the bread. “It’s good now.”

  I expected dinner to be as lively as the dinner prep time had been.

  I couldn’t have been more wrong.

  As soon as the oven timer went off, signaling the bread was done, David told us all to take a seat. Jenna and Brandon slid into chairs across from Hudson and me, David at the head of the table sandwiched by the guys.

  Then, everyone descended on dinner like vultures, terrified they might never eat another meal again. Instead of laughter and conversation, there were mumbled, “Oh damn, this is good. Keeps getting better. More bread.” That last from Jenna.

  Said multiple times.

  The girl could eat her weight in carbs at a single meal, I was certain.

  Through it all, there was little talk of work. Instead, there was teasing about the golf season over, banter over the football season and predictions on who would make the Super Bowl.