Influence in Action

by Craig Weber

  So here you are, at the end of the book. The question before you now is this: When you see inefficiencies, ineffectiveness, injustices, or other problems, will you just go along with the status quo or will you try and make constructive change? I’m hoping that you’re more inclined to do the latter. I’m hoping that you’re more likely to point out a better idea, help a team avoid a bad decision, push back against destructive behavior, confront inhumane or inefficient conditions, and support others who are engaged in noble work. I sincerely hope you view leadership and learning as a way of life, that you’ll strive to make the world a better place, and, in the process, become a better person.

  In short, I hope you’re more willing—and more able—to stand up, speak out, and make a difference.

  NOTES

  INTRODUCTION

  1. Dean Williams, Leadership for a Fractured World: How to Cross Boundaries, Build Bridges, and Lead Change, San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2015, p. 3.

  CHAPTER 2

  1. Leah Weiss, “Mindfulness & Business.” CNBC. March 16, 2018, at https://www.cnbc.com/video/2018/03/16/mindfulness-business.html.

  2. I’m echoing the idea of Cordelia Fine and her book, A Mind of Its Own: How Your Brain Distorts and Deceives, New York: W.W. Norton, 2006.

  3. Daniel Goleman and Richard J. Davidson, Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain, and Body, New York: Avery. 2017, pp. 76–77.

  4. See Sakyong Mipham, Running with the Mind of Meditation: Lessons for Training Body and Mind, New York: Harmony, 2013. Also also see Sakyong Mipham, “5 Tips for Running with the Mind of Meditation,” Huffington Post. April 12, 2012, https://www.huffingtonpost.com/sakyong-mipham-rinpoche/running-with-the-mind-of-meditation_b_1418102.html.

  5. Jeffrey Schwartz and Sharon Begley, The Mind and the Brain, New York: HarperCollins, 2002, p. 11.

  6. Daniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence, New York: Bantam, 2000, p. 22.

  CHAPTER 3

  1. Dan Siegel, “About Mindsight: An Introduction to Mindsight,” dansiegel.com, https://www.drdansiegel.com/about/mindsight/.

  2. Daniel Goleman, “Emotional Intelligence,” October 4, 2015, http://www.danielgoleman.info/daniel-goleman-how-self-awareness-impacts-your-work/.

  3. Daniel Siegel, Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation, New York: Bantam, 2010, p. ix.

  4. Tasha Eurich, Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think, New York: Crown Business, 2018, p. 41.

  5. Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change, New York: Free Press, 1989, pp. 30–31.

  6. Daniel Siegel, Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation, New York: Bantam, 2010, p. xi.

  7. Tasha Eurich, Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think, New York: Crown Business, 2018, p. 5.

  8. Ellie Lisitsa, “Making Sure Emotional Flooding Doesn’t Capsize Your Relationship.” August 3, 2013, https://www.gottman.com/blog/making-sure-emotional-flooding-doesnt-capsize-your-relationship/.

  9. Chris Argyris, Overcoming Organizational Defenses: Facilitating Organizational Learning, Boston: Allyn & Bacon, 1990, pp. 12–23.

  10. Matthew D. Lieberman, “The Brain’s Braking System: And How to ‘Use Your Words’ to Tap Into It,” Neuroleadership, University of California, Los Angeles, http://www.scn.ucla.edu/pdf/Lieberman%28InPress%29Neuroleadership.pdf.

  11. David Rock, “Leadership on the Brain,” Harvard Business Review, April 28, 2010, https://hbr.org/2010/04/leadership-on-the-brain.

  12. Matthew D. Lieberman, “The Brain’s Braking System: And How to ‘Use Your Words’ to Tap Into It,” Neuroleadership, University of California, Los Angeles, http://www.scn.ucla.edu/pdf/Lieberman%28InPress%29Neuroleadership.pdf.

  13. Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, New York: Bantam, 1995, p. 10.

  14. Tasha Eurich, Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think, New York: Crown Business, 2018, pp. 4–5.

  CHAPTER 4

  1. Airto Moreira, Personal Interview, April 8, 2011. I approached Airto Moreira based on a previous conversation with Paul Cicco, who originally called my attention to the quote.

  2. Jeff Bacon, “Lt Col Hughes—‘Take a knee,’” The Broadside Blog, Navy Times, April 11, 2007, http://broadside.navytimes.com/2007/04/11/ltcol-hughes-take-a-knee/.

  3. Daniel Goleman, Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, New York: Harper, 2013, p. 99.

  4. For a more thorough exploration of cognitive and emotional empathy, I’d suggest reading Chapter 10, “The Empathy Triad,” in Daniel Goleman, Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, New York: Harper, 2013.

  5. Edward L. Thorndike, “Intelligence and Its Uses,” The Harpers Monthly, January 1920, https://harpers.org/archive/1920/01/intelligence-and-its-uses/.

  6. For a rigorous exploration of the concept of “asshole” see Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory, New York: Doubleday, 2012, or Robert I. Sutton, The Asshole Survival Guide: How to Deal with People Who Treat You Like Dirt, Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2017.

  CHAPTER 5

  1. Chade-Meng Tan, “Just 6 Seconds of Mindfulness Can Make You More Effective,” Harvard Business Review, December 30, 2015, https://hbr.org/2015/12/just-6-seconds-of-mindfulness-can-make-you-more-effective.

  2. Sue Shellenbarger, “Tuning In: Improving Your Listening Skills: How to Get the Most Out of a Conversation.” The Wall Street Journal. Updated July 22, 2014, https://www.wsj.com/articles/tuning-in-how-to-listen-better-1406070727.

  3. Ellen Langer, “Mindfulness in the Age of Complexity,” Harvard Business Review, March 2014, https://hbr.org/2014/03/mindfulness-in-the-age-of-complexity.

  4. Gretchen Reynolds, “How Walking in Nature Changes the Brain,” New York Times, July 22, 2015, https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/.

  5. Gregory N. Bratmana, Gretchen C. Daily, Benjamin J. Levy, and James J. Gross, “The benefits of nature experience: Improved affect and cognition,” https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0169204615000286.

  6. Alex Hutchinson, “How Trees Calm Us Down,” The New Yorker, July 23, 2015, https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/what-is-a-tree-worth.

  7. Nora Isaacs, “Bring More Mindfulness onto the Mat,” Yoga Journal, Oct 21, 2008 https://www.yogajournal.com/practice/peace-of-mind.

  8. Srini Pillay, “Your Brain Can Only Take So Much Focus,” Harvard Business Review, May 12, 2017, https://hbr.org/2017/05/your-brain-can-only-take-so-much-focus.

  9. Robert Wright, Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment, New York: Simon & Schuster, 2017, p. 20.

  CHAPTER 6

  1. Cordelia Fine, A Mind of Its Own: How Your Brain Distorts and Deceives, New York: W.W. Norton, 2006, p. 202.

  2. Madeleine L. Van Hecke, Blind Spots: Why Smart People Do Dumb Things, New York: Prometheus Books, 2007, p. 19.

  3. Nate Silver, The Signal and The Noise, New York: The Penguin Press, 2012, pp. 232–261.

  4. Roger Martin, The Opposable Mind: How Successful Leaders Win Through Integrative Thinking, Boston: Harvard Business Review Press, 2007, pp. 123–124.

  5. Ibid., 125

  6. Margaret Heffernan, “Dare To Disagree,” Ted Talk, https://www.ted.com/talks/margaret_heffernan_dare_to_disagree?

  7. Martin, 15.

  8. Martin, 9–13.

  9. Martin, 6.

  10. Gordon Pennycook, James Allan Cheyne, Nathaniel Barr, Derek J. Koehler, and Jonathan A. Fugelsang, “On the reception and detection of pseudo-profound bullshit,” Judgment and Decision Making, Vol. 10, No. 6, November 2015, pp. 549–563, http://journal.sjdm.org/15/15923a/jdm15923a.pdf.

  11. Ibid., 549

  12. Emily Willingham, “Why Do Some People Find Deepak Chopra Quotes Dee
p and Not Dung?” Forbes, Nov 30, 2015, https://www.forbes.com/sites/emilywillingham/2015/11/30/why-do-some-people-find-deepak-chopra-quotes-deep-and-not-dung/#3a8689c91f02.

  13. Richard Feynman, What Do You Care What Other People Think? Further Adventures of a Curious Character, New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 1988, pp. 163–164.

  14. Amy Gallo, “How to Deliver Bad News to Your Employees,” Harvard Business Review, March 30, 2015, https://hbr.org/2015/03/how-to-deliver-bad-news-to-your-employees.

  CHAPTER 7

  1. Again, for a more rigorous exploration of the concept of “asshole” see Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory, New York: Doubleday, 2012, or Robert I. Sutton, The Asshole Survival Guide: How to Deal with People Who Treat You Like Dirt, Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2017.

  2. Frank Barrett, Yes to the Mess: Surprising Leadership Lessons from Jazz, Boston: Harvard Business Review Press, 2012.

  3. Jim Collins, Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’t, New York: Harper Business, 2001, p. 84 (italics mine).

  4. Richard Bach, Illusions (mass paperback), New York: Dell, 1989, p. 100.

  5. Alex Lifeson, as quoted in Josh Dehaas, “Advice for students from the rock band Rush,” Macleans, June 13, 2014, https://www.macleans.ca/education/uniandcollege/advice-for-students-from-the-rock-band-rush/.

  6. Emile Lahti, “What Is Sisu?” https://www.emilialahti.com/what-is-sisu.

  7. Barrett, 12

  8. Barrett, 41–65.

  9. Dean Williams, Leadership for a Fractured World: How to Cross Boundaries, Build Bridges, and Lead Change, Oakland, CA: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2015, pp. 173–174.

  10. Barrett, 112.

  11. Williams, 173–176.

  12. Barrett, 110.

  CHAPTER 8

  1. Brian Tracy, “This Personal Power Formula Will Change Your Life,” https://www.briantracy.com/blog/personal-success/this-personal-power-formula-will-change-your-life/.

  2. Carol Dweck, “What Having a ‘Growth Mindset’ Actually Means,” Harvard Business Review, January 13, 2016, https://hbr.org/2016/01/what-having-a-growth-mindset-actually-means.

  3. Constitutional Rights Foundation, “Slavery in the American South,” http://www.crf-usa.org/black-history-month/slavery-in-the-american-south.

  4. Edward A. Miller, Jr., Gullah Statesman. Columbia, SC: University of South Carolina Press, 1995, pp. 1–8.

  5. Henry Louis Gates, Jr., “The African Americans: Which Slave Sailed Himself to Freedom?,” PBS.org, http://www.pbs.org/wnet/african-americans-many-rivers-to-cross/history/which-slave-sailed-himself-to-freedom/.

  6. Miller, Jr., 3.

  7. M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth, New York: Simon and Schuster, 1978, p. 37.

  8. Erich Fromm, The Heart of Man: It’s Genius for Good and Evil, New York: Harper & Row, 1964, pp. 37–61.

  9. Michael Lewis, “The Wolf Hunters of Wall Street,” New York Times Magazine, March 31, 2014, https://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/06/magazine/flash-boys-michael-lewis.html.

  10. First People: American Indian Legends, https://www.firstpeople.us/FP-Html-Legends/TwoWolves-Cherokee.html.

  CHAPTER 9

  1. Cordelia Fine, A Mind of Its Own: How Your Brain Distorts and Deceives, New York: W.W. Norton, 2006. p. 23.

  2. Kathryn Schulz, Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error, New York: HarperCollins, 2010, p. 20.

  3. I paraphrased this line from Roger Martin, The Opposable Mind: How Successful Leaders Win Through Integrative Thinking, Boston: Harvard Business Review Press, 2007, p. 16.

  4. Martin, 9–13.

  5. Madeleine L. Van Hecke, Blind Spots: Why Smart People Do Dumb Things, New York: Prometheus Books, 2007, pp. 239–240.

  6. Dean Williams, Real Leadership. San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler, 2001, p. 256.

  7. Peter Economy, “This Navy SEAL Says Your Lack of Motivation Does Not Matter (but This 1 Thing Does Big Time),” Inc.com, September 6, 2017, https://www.inc.com/peter-economy/good-news-a-navy-seal-says-your-lack-of-motivation.html.

  8. Nathan DeWall, “I Went From Sedentary Academic To 100-Mile Marathon Runner—thanks to the science of self-control,” Quartz, July 2, 2017, https://qz.com/1019928/i-went-from-sedentary-academic-to-100-mile-marathon-runner-thanks-to-the-science-of-self-control/?utm_source=atlfb.

  9. Loretta Breuning, “How to Train Your Brain to Go Positive Instead of Negative,” Forbes.com, December 21, 2016, https://www.forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2016/12/21/how-to-train-your-brain-to-go-positive-instead-of-negative/2/#14ed35025e55.

  10. I’m echoing the work of Albert Ellis with this list. For a thorough overview of his ideas about contesting the negative and “nutty” thinking that warps our decision-making and creates a range of psychological and emotional disturbances, see Albert Ellis and Robert Allan Harper, A New Guide to Rational Living, North Hollywood, CA: Wilshire Book Company, 1975.

  11. Fred Rogers, “Look for the Helpers,” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LGHtc_D328.

  12. Frank Barrett, Yes to the Mess: Surprising Leadership Lessons from Jazz, Boston: Harvard Business Review Press, 2012, p. 49.

  13. Emma Seppala and Adam Rifkin, “The Surprising Science of Why You’ll Get More Done by Having Fun,” December 10, 2014, http://www.fulfillmentdaily.com/surprising-science-youll-get-done-fun/.

  14. The Association for Psychological Science, “The Energizing Effect of Humor,” January 19, 2016, https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/minds-business/the-energizing-effect-of-humor.html.

  CHAPTER 10

  1. Chris Argyris, Flawed Advice and The Management Trap, New York: Oxford University Press, 2000.

  2. Dacher Keltner, The Power Paradox, New York: Penguin, 2016, p. 11.

  3. Elizabeth Abrams, “Topic Sentences and Signposting,” Harvard College Writing Center, 2000, https://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/pages/topic-sentences-and-signposting.

  4. Topic Sentence, http://www2.actden.com/writ_den/tips/paragrap/topic.htm.

  5. Dorothy Turner, “Writing Topic Sentences,” The Writing Center, University of Ottawa, http://www.writingcentre.uottawa.ca/hypergrammar/partopic.html.

  6. “Essay Writing Skills: Topic Sentences,” RMIT University. https://www.dlsweb.rmit.edu.au/lsu/content/2_assessmenttasks/assess_tuts/essay_LL/structure/topic.html.

  7. Turner.

  8. Turner.

  9. Turner.

  10. William Zinsser, On Writing Well: An Informal Guide to Writing Nonfiction, New York: Wildside Press, 1996, p. 23. [Parenthetical comment is my own.]

  11. Zinsser, pp. 8–9.

  12. Thomas Kane, The New Oxford Guide to Writing, New York: Oxford University Press, 1988, p. 140.

  13. William Strunk and E.B. White, The Elements of Style, (fourth edition), New York: Longman, 1999, p. 23.

  14. Strunk and White, p. 21.

  CHAPTER 11

  1. Craig Weber, Conversational Capacity: The Secret to Building Successful Teams that Perform When the Pressure Is On, New York: McGraw-Hill Education, 2013, pp. 121–140.

  2. I cannot use the phrase “mental maps” without giving credit to M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth, New York: Simon and Schuster, 1978, pp. 25–27.

  3. Francis Flaherty, Elements of Story: Field Notes on Nonfiction Writing, New York: HarperCollins, 2009, p. 59.

  4. Antonio Damasio, Descartes Error: Emotions, Reason, and the Human Brain, New York: Penguin Books, 1994, pp. 52–79.

  5. Remmers, C., Topolinski, S., and Michalak, J. (2015). Mindful(l) intuition: Does mindfulness influence the access to intuitive processes?, The Journal of Positive Psychology, 10(3), 282–292. doi:10.1080/17439760.2014.950179.

  6. Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark, New York: Random House, 1995.

  7. Sagan, p. 10.

  CHAPTER 12

  1. The Online Etymological Dictionary, “Test,” https://www.et
ymonline.com/word/test.

  2. Kathryn Schulz, Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error, New York: HarperCollins, 2010, p. 5.

  3. Harry Frankfurt, On Bullshit, Princeton: Princeton University Press. 2005.

  4. Edward De Bono, Six Thinking Hats: An Essential Approach to Business Management, Boston: Little, Brown, 1985.

  5. Nick Hornby, A Long Way Down, New York: Riverhead Books, 2005, pp. 304–307.

  6. Cordelia Fine, A Mind of Its Own: How Your Brain Distorts and Deceives, New York: W.W. Norton, 2006, p. 208.

  CHAPTER 13

  1. Online Etymological Dictionary, “Inquire,” https://www.etymonline.com/word/inquire.

  2. Frank Barrett and Ronald Fry, Appreciative Inquiry: A Positive Approach to Building Cooperative Capacity, Taos, NM: Taos Institute Publications, 2005, p. 36.

  3. Edgar H. Schein, Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling, San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler, 2013, p. 2.

  4. Craig Weber, Conversational Capacity: The Secret to Building Successful Teams That Perform When the Pressure Is On, New York: McGraw-Hill Education 2013, pp. 94–97.

  5. M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth, New York: Simon and Schuster, 1978, pp. 86–87.

  6. This is a line from the jury member, played by Edward James Begley Sr, in the film 12 Angry Men. Directed by Sidney Lumet, Westinghouse Studio One. 1957. Film.