True Loves (A Collection of Firsts)

by Michelle A. Valentine

Brock sets a couple more plates on the ledge and winks at Quinn. “Ladies.”

  A blush fills Quinn’s cheeks, and it’s so adorable, I can’t help but smile.

  I arrange the plates on my tray and turn around just in time to see Alice giggle at something Xavier said while resting her fingers on his forearm. The overwhelming desire to snatch her hand off him hits me, but I beat it away, remembering quickly that he’s not mine. He made that very clear.

  Xavier takes a long pull from his beer, and his eyes flit over to mine, halting me for a beat before I straighten by back and march past him.

  Alice doesn’t miss Xavier’s attention on me either. Her icy glare would freeze me in place if I wasn’t already so heated.

  For the next hour or so things continue the same way—Xavier sitting at the bar drinking, while Alice does her best to entice him. All evening his eyes never leave me. Every time I glance in his direction, he’s openly watching me.

  On my way to enter a food order, Xavier reaches out and snags my wrist as I walk by. “You ready to stop ignoring me yet?”

  I tilt my head to the side. “Why? Don’t have enough company already?”

  Out of the corner of my eye I see Alice cross her arms over her chest. She makes no attempt to pretend like she’s not watching our little exchange intensely, which irks me. What’s going on between me and Xavier is none of her business.

  He doesn’t take his eyes away from mine. “You mean the bitchy bartender? That’s nothing. I’m sitting here killing time—waiting for you to get over yourself and talk to me.”

  Get over myself? Is he serious right now? I did nothing to him. He needs to remember the reason I’m not speaking to him.

  “Just like Deena was nothing?” I fire back.

  “Exactly,” he says, his voice agitated. “Don’t you get it? Other women don’t mean a thing to me. You matter.”

  I furrow my brow, confused by how he can make such a statement about me when it became quite clear last night that we barely know each other.

  “Why?”

  He sighs. “You’re sincere.”

  I shake my head. “You can’t possibly know that about me. Not after a week.”

  “Sometimes time is irrelevant in understanding the beauty of another person’s soul.” He pulls closer until my hip touches his outstretched knee. “Can you get off early? I would really like to spend some time with you before I have to leave. I don’t want us parting on bad terms. Your friendship means a lot to me. I don’t want to ruin it.”

  Although I still don’t forgive him for lying to me about Deena, it would be nice to salvage our friendship. He was my first real friend in Detroit, after all. “I wish I could, but we’re still open for another two hours.”

  Xavier’s lips push down into a frown, and he releases my wrist. “I understand.”

  He closes his eyes and grimaces just for a moment like he’s in pain. The expression on his face almost makes me change my mind. I don’t want to hurt him, but I have to protect myself. We need a clean break.

  He stands and fishes his wallet out of his back pocket before laying down a hundred dollar bill on the bar. He wraps his arms around me without permission and kisses the top of my head. “Goodbye, beautiful. I’ll miss you.”

  I can’t bring myself to say the words. Telling him goodbye makes him leaving real…final. I’ll never see him again, but even as hurt as I was about him sleeping with Deena, I’m just not ready to fully shut him out.

  My heart squeezes as I stare after Xavier. The urge to stop him surges through me, but I know allowing him to walk away without a fight is what’s best for both of us. I don’t think I have it in me to ever trust him again, and no relationship can ever work without trust.

  Chapter 12

  The last two hours of work drag on. I know it’s stupid, and we’ve said our goodbyes, but I still miss Xavier. Deep down under all those playboy ways, I know there’s a good guy. I saw him peeking through during the little bit of time I spent with him and that makes it suck even more that he’s leaving because maybe, given time, we could have fixed what is broken between us.

  Quinn stacks her tray on top of mine. “I’m beat. Let’s count out our drawers and be done. I want to go home and sleep.”

  Brock leans against the counter and pulls Quinn into his arms. “Sleep? I thought we had plans.”

  The intimate way he yanks her hips against his causes her to giggle. “I suppose we can go out for a little while.” She reaches in her apron pocket and hands me her car keys. “You’ll be all right driving home?”

  “Yeah. I’ll be fine.” I take the keys and stuff them into my pocket before removing my apron and tossing it on the counter next to them. “Watch this while I go to the bathroom, will you?”

  Quinn giggles as Brock nuzzles her neck and then whispers in her ear.

  “Sure,” she says as I head to take a short break before cashing out for the night.

  Once I’ve used the bathroom, I move to the sink to wash my hands. I stare in the mirror at my green eyes, and even I can note the sadness that lies within them. It’s going to take me a while to get over Xavier. Even in a week, he’s left a lasting impression on me.

  I readjust my dark ponytail and head back out to count my money from the shift with Andy so I can get out of here and be depressed at Aunt Dee’s.

  Andy’s sitting at the bar with his logbook, ready to do final counts with the wait staff. I grab my apron off the counter and take a seat next to him.

  I glance around as I toss my apron on the bar. Only Alice and I are left in the place. “Did Quinn count out already?”

  Andy nods as he makes a note on the paper in front of him. “Yeah, she was first. She was anxious to get out of here tonight.”

  I roll my eyes and wonder if she and Brock made it out of the parking lot before they attacked one another.

  “All right.” Andy turns his attention to me and reaches for the apron. “You made three hundred seventy-two dollars and twenty-three cents. Cash total we need to have turned in is one hundred and fifty-two dollars and thirty six cents.” He reaches in the pocket and searches around with his hand. After a few seconds he furrows his brow and scratches his balding scalp. “Do you have it somewhere else? These pockets are empty.”

  My heart leaps into my throat. “What?!”

  I shoot off the stool and begin digging around in the pockets. “It was right here before I went to the restroom. I left it with Quinn.”

  Andy’s lips twist, and he blows a rush of air through his nose. “Looks like we have a problem. One of two things happened. One: Quinn took the money when she left, which could be why she wanted out of here so quickly. Or two: you have it.”

  My mouth drops open, shocked. No one has ever accused me of stealing before. “Andy, I wouldn’t steal from you.”

  He rubs his chin as he takes in my expression. “I’m leaning with option one then. I don’t feel like you’re lying to me. I usually can tell when someone’s guilty.” He shakes his head. “I hate to fire Quinn. She’s been a good employee for the last year.”

  My eyes widen. “Fire Quinn? You can’t. She loves this job.”

  “Love it or not”—Andy shrugs—“Larry’s doesn’t tolerate theft of any kind. If we suspect it, you’re done. That’s why we have you all sign that accountability contract when you start. It’s our insurance that you all understand our zero tolerance policy.”

  Oh no! I know she wouldn’t take the money. I can’t allow her to lose her job. “Andy, please don’t. Fire me instead.”

  Alice leans against the bar with a smirk on her face. “I told you not to trust them, Andy. They’re not sweet like they claim to be—especially this one.”

  “Alice,” he scolds. “That’s enough.”

  She shrugs. “Just saying, I think she’s your thief. You should fire her now before she robs you blind.”

  I narrow my eyes at her. “What’s your problem with me? I’ve never done a thing to you.”

  She rol
ls her green eyes. “I just don’t like you.”

  “It’s because of Xavier, isn’t it? You’re jealous!” My voice raises an octave as the adrenaline flows through my veins.

  I can’t remember ever feeling this angry with someone.

  Alice laughs and flips her hair over her shoulder. “Jealous? Honey, please, don’t flatter yourself. If I wanted your man, I’d have him.”

  I clench my fists tighter. I’ve never been one for violence, but she’s got me seeing speckles of red. I want to scream at her and call her a liar—tell her that he’d never touch her—but after last night I’m not so sure. I thought things between him and Deena were over the first night we met. I didn’t even know she was still around, or worse still, competing for Xavier’s attention. So how do I know he wouldn’t be into a sex-only relationship with Alice too?

  When I don’t immediately retaliate, Alice smirks. “Fire her, Andy.”

  “Alice, I can’t just get rid of her because you don’t like her,” he says and his shoulders sag.

  She folds her arms. “Do it. She stole the money, and I don’t want her around anymore.”

  I see the struggle in Andy’s eyes, but I know he’ll side with her eventually, so I’ll make this easy for everyone. “I quit. Blame me for the money if you like, but I didn’t take it, and Quinn wouldn’t either. If you want to blame someone”—I point to Alice—“blame her. She’s probably the one who took it just to get back at me for being jealous.”

  “That’s absurd,” she argues. “Don’t listen to her, Andy.”

  He drags his eyes up to my face. “I think you’d better go, Anna.”

  Tears begin to burn my eyes. It’s so hard to let this job go. The two things I’ve found comfort in since I got to Detroit are both no longer apart of my life. It hurts, but I’ll do anything to keep from causing Quinn any problems.

  I square my shoulders. “Not until you tell me that Quinn keeps her job, no questions asked.”

  She’s done so much for me already. Ensuring her job is the least I can do.

  Andy nods. “You got it.”

  “Thank you,” I whisper, trying to keep it together until I get outside.

  I turn my back and head toward the door when I hear Andy say, “Good luck, Anna.”

  That’s when the first tear falls. I throw my hand up in a lame wave as I keep walking. I don’t want them to see me break down. I don’t want Alice to know just how weak I really am.

  The moment the cool night air hits me, I dash toward Quinn’s Honda. I open the door and flop down in driver’s seat, allowing all the emotions I’ve kept bottled up to come crashing out as I sob hard.

  What am I going to do?

  Quinn was my ride to and from work. I can’t expect her to be my chauffer when I find a new job. I grip the steering wheel and rest my head on my hands and cry harder as the feeling of overwhelming failure engulfs me.

  I don’t want to give up. Not after only one week. If I could find another job quickly, then I won’t feel so bad when I explain what happened to Quinn and Aunt Dee. It will take some of the burden off.

  I crank the engine alive and glance down at the clock. It’s only nine thirty. Surely there are bars and restaurants still open so I can go and check out a couple of job prospects.

  I drive around the city, looking for any restaurant I see with an open sign. After going into two, and being asked to come back tomorrow, my optimistic balloon deflates a little.

  Looking for a job this late is a dumb idea.

  I check the clock again and my stomach rumbles. With everything going on, I forgot to eat lunch and dinner today. I’m completely famished.

  I begin keeping my eyes peeled for a drive-through when a familiar diner comes into view and I pull into the parking lot.

  It feels strange coming here without Xavier, but I’m comfortable enough here to go in and eat alone. I know Nettie will keep me company.

  Bells on the door chime the moment I step inside and Nettie glances up at me from behind the counter. “Lord, child. Come on in here and sit down.”

  She pats the counter in front of her. “You and I need to talk woman to woman.”

  “Oh…okay.” Feeling completely uneasy, I take the seat in front of her, and she hands me a menu.

  I study the menu and try to pretend Nettie isn’t watching me like a hawk. My face is probably still a puffy mess where I’ve just been bawling in the car. It was a mistake coming here looking like this. Hopefully Nettie won’t pry since Xavier isn’t with me.

  “I’ll have the pancakes again and a water.”

  “You got it.” She takes the menu from me and stares for a long second. “He fool around on you?”

  I raise my eyebrows.

  As much as I want to talk with someone who understands Xavier, I refuse to tell someone who’s almost like his mother what happened yesterday. I’m sure my appearance screams that I’m hurting. I don’t need to make it worse.

  “No. I mean, we aren’t together. We’re just friends. He can be with whomever he wants.”

  Nettie leans against the counter and her mouth quirks. “The two of you still pretending you are just friends?”

  “We are just friends,” I say adamantly.

  “Sure you are.” She winks at me. “Like Carl and me. The sooner you learn to set your foot down with that boy, the better off you’ll be.”

  “Xavier doesn’t want a relationship with me.”

  She cocks her head and gives me the are-you-kidding-me-face. “Honey, you’re the first girl I’ve ever seen him stick with for longer than a night. He cares for you, and I know that may be hard to believe, but I know my boy. Xavier was the most carefree I’ve ever seen him the nights he brought you in here. Give him a chance, he might surprise you.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t know Nettie. He was…seeing someone else the entire week. How can I trust him after that?”

  “That boy…” She shakes her head and clicks her tongue. “I was hoping he was finally settling down. He’s a good man, Anna. Just had a rough life, is all. Poor kid was out on the streets at fifteen.”

  “Fifteen?” I repeat in disbelief. “Was his family that bad? He refuses to speak about them. The only thing he ever told me was his mother died when he was eight.”

  “Tragic, isn’t it? When he came in here that first time, hungry, I could see in his eyes the boy was just desperate. Carl and I took him in, gave him a job and got him off the streets.”

  “So, when you say the streets—you mean homeless?”

  Nettie frowns. “Yes and no. Xavier, like most runaways around here, found refuge with a local gang, but he was still very much on his own and didn’t trust a soul. It took a long time for him to really believe Carl and I wanted to help him.”

  “Where was his father in all this? Didn’t he care?” I question. I’m flabbergasted as to where all the support he should’ve had was. It breaks my heart.

  “No clue. I know he lived with his grandmother until he headed out on his own.”

  I pull my lips into a tight line. “Was she so bad?”

  The expression on Nettie’s face tells me that she wants to tell me more, but she’s reluctant.

  “I’ve talked about his business enough. I best shut up. I’ll grab Carl from the back and have him cook your pancakes.” She gives me a sad smile as she heads to a wooden, swinging door and out of sight.

  I rub my chin as I process everything I’ve just learned about Xavier Cold. It doesn’t change that he fooled around with Deena behind my back, but I believe Nettie when she says he cares for me. It truly felt like he did when we were together. It doesn’t matter if I could ever forgive him for that or not, the fact remains that he’s gone, and any chance we had at ever becoming more than friends is over.

  The diner door chimes behind me and before I even see him, I feel him.

  I slowly turn and my jaw drops. Xavier stands there in a pair of dark wash jeans and a blue t-shirt staring straight at me. He shoves his dark hair away
from his face, but a single strand falls across his forehead, and his blue eyes widen.

  He clearly didn’t expect to see me, just like I’m still in shock that he’s standing here before me.

  He licks his bottom lip and then grazes his teeth across it. “Anna? What are you doing here?”

  I swallow hard. “I, um…I was hungry.”

  He takes a couple of hesitant steps toward me, and my heart flutters in my chest as that familiar pull hits me full force.

  Once he’s close enough, he reaches out and cups my cheek in his hand. “You didn’t come here for me?”

  I melt into his touch and close my eyes. The spicy scent of his cologne and soap lingers on his skin. I inhale deeply and then open my eyes to stare into the deep-blue pools of his irises.

  There’s no denying I feel something for him, I’m just not sure what. All I know right now is that I’m addicted to his touch.

  “I thought you were already gone, so I didn’t expect to see you here, but I’m glad you are.”

  “My flight was cancelled, and I realized I hadn’t said goodbye to Nettie and Carl, so I came to see them before I leave in the morning.”

  He studies my face intently as we remain alone in the diner. “Why have you been crying? Remember what I said? I don’t like seeing this beautiful face frown.”

  I blink slowly. “I was fired tonight.”

  “Why?” he immediately asks.

  I sigh and Xavier takes a seat next to me and listens intently as I explain what happened at Larry’s.

  “So you stopped here while you were job hunting?” he asks as he puts all the pieces together. “Don’t you find that an odd coincidence?”

  “What do you mean?”

  He shrugs. “You need a job, and I still need that personal assistant.”

  The mention of Deena’s old job causes what happened to flash through my mind and it brings back the hurt I feel.

  “You sure you don’t want your old assistant back? The two of you seemed pretty cozy the last time I saw you together. I’m sure she’d be happy to have her job back.”

  He flinches and licks the corner of his mouth. “I deserve that. I hurt you, and for that I’m sorry. I wish I could take it back. She came over, stripped in front of me and I gave into a moment of weakness. You have to understand, Anna, I’m not used to all this.” He motions between the two of us. “I’m going to fuck up from time to time. Being friends with me won’t be easy, but I want you to give me another shot. Come work for me. Give me time to make it up to you.”