M Is for Mama's Boy

by Michael Buckley

  “Stop!” Duncan cried as he pulled off the straps. “I can’t let them fight him alone.”

  “But I’m not finished. I can’t guarantee your powers are going to work properly.”

  “I’ll have to do it on my own, then!” Duncan shouted. He raced to the door and got a face full of dust when it opened. A huge hole had been blasted in the ceiling, all the way to the sky. Flinch was already leaping upward with Pufferfish in his hands. Jackson had turned his braces into huge gorilla arms and was hefting himself up as well. Matilda was waiting for Duncan.

  “You OK?” she asked. She looked worried.

  “Yeah, are you OK?” he asked.

  “Sure,” she said, grabbing him in her arms. Their faces were closer than ever before. Then she fired her inhalers and they zipped upward, finally landing on the lawn outside the school.

  They saw Albert. The man’s body had grown to four times its size and he had what looked like dozens of gadgets hooked into his ports, turning him into a walking dynamo of power.

  Tiny Pufferfish stood toe-to-toe with the giant. He swung at her, but each time she hurled herself out of the way at just the right time. “Luckily, I’m allergic to getting squashed,” she said, scratching at her legs with each life-saving leap.

  Albert, however, was becoming enraged. “I have to smash you all so I can go out and save the world!” he bellowed.

  “You don’t become a superhero doing supervillain deeds, dude,” Jackson said as his braces became spikes that poked at Albert’s feet. Albert howled in pain, then shot a ball of fire from his hands right at Braceface. The boy’s braces twisted and turned into a massive shield that saved him from being broiled. Unfortunately, four more fireballs slammed into the side of the school, setting it on fire. Luckily, it seemed all of the children and staff had been evacuated. Duncan caught a glimpse of them on the other side of the building.

  “Hey, loser,” Flinch cried as he hopped up and down for Albert’s attention.

  Albert brought his two fists down hard on the ground, narrowly missing Flinch, who used his superspeed to run between the big man’s legs. Now behind Albert, Flinch leaped up and kicked the villain in the rear end. The force of the kick sent Albert flying forward and his head crashed into the cafeteria, breaking the wall and destroying the tables and chairs.

  “OK, we can beat up on this guy all day, but what are we going to do to stop him?” Matilda cried. “All those gadgets he plugged into himself are supercharging him with powers. Is there any limit to what he can do?”

  And at once, Duncan knew. “Benjamin,” he cried, “come with me.” And he took off running toward Albert. The gigantic criminal was starting to sit up. He rubbed his head and shook the concrete dust from his torn mask.

  “Whatever we’re doing,” the orb said, “it seems like a very dangerous plan.”

  “You’re the most powerful computer in the world, correct?” he asked as he sprinted onward.

  “Correct.”

  “It must take an awful lot of power to run you,” Duncan said.

  “It does,” the orb replied.

  Duncan snatched Benjamin out of the air. “Then let’s give Captain Upgrade all the power he can handle!”

  By this time, Albert had staggered to his feet. Still dazed, he didn’t see Duncan’s approach, nor did he see him pull one of the gadgets out of the port on his ankle, remove it from its cable, and plug in the glowing blue ball.

  But he felt it.

  He let out a howl similar to one you might make if you stuck a fork in a light socket. Beams of bright green energy shot out of his eyes and flew up into the sky. All of the gadgets began to fizz and pop and suddenly blink out, all but Benjamin.

  “It’s too much power,” Albert bellowed. “I can’t handle any more!”

  “Exactly,” Duncan said.

  Then, like a tree, Albert fell over and was still.

  “What did you do to him?” Matilda cried when she rushed to Duncan’s side.

  “I crashed his system,” Duncan said as he removed Benjamin from the cable. “If he’s a walking computer, then there’s a way to overwhelm his processors. Too many open applications fried his mainframe.”

  “That problem is solved,” Pufferfish said.

  “Now we have to stop Simon and Albert’s mother,” Jackson said.

  “But where did they go?” Flinch cried.

  Suddenly, they heard a rumbling from inside the school.

  “The School Bus!” Flinch shouted.

  He led the team back into the school and made a beeline to the gymnasium. Once there, they saw Ms. Holiday in her black spy gear. Brand was nearby in his tuxedo.

  “Close the roof!” she shouted, but the rocket was already rising up into the air. Strapped to the side of it was a massive version of the ray gun.

  “He’s going to activate his machine and there’s nothing we can do to stop him,” Matilda cried.

  “Actually, there is,” Duncan said. “But I’ll need a ride.”

  Matilda winked at him and snatched the boy off his feet. Together they rocketed into the air via her inhalers, soaring higher and faster than either had ever gone. In no time they were closing in on the ship.

  Duncan looked down at his hands. “I hope there’s enough nanobytes in there.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Show everyone why I’m on this team,” he said, and he jumped onto the rocket, clinging to the metal skin of the School Bus. Matilda shouted at him.

  “Um, when did you get so cool?” she cried, then did something startling. She zoomed up and kissed him on the nose. Then she darted away. Duncan didn’t have time to think about the kiss. He wasn’t sure how long he could stay attached to the rocket—gravity was pulling at him and the ship was shaking tremendously. He had to get inside fast.

  He climbed along the ship’s hull until he found the hatch. Then, using every ounce of his strength, he turned the large wheel on the door and watched as the door fell away toward Earth. Moments later he was crawling inside the rocket, much to the surprise of Simon, Mama, the goon, and the squirrels.

  “When will you listen to me?” Mama shouted at Simon. “I told you to kill the heroes, but no! What would I know?”

  Simon shook his head. “So, old friend, here we are again. The world is on the brink of a disaster I created and only you can stop me.”

  “I’m not your friend, Heathcliff,” Duncan said.

  “Yes, you’re right. It’s been a long time since I could call you or any of the team ‘friends.’ You turned your backs on me, and that’s why I have made it my life’s work to destroy you. I’ve studied you all, inside and out, and I know your weaknesses. You, for instance, rely too heavily on gadgets and technology. You could never have guessed they would be your downfall.” Simon pulled out another ray gun. He fired it at Duncan, who could feel his nanobytes shutting down. Once again, he was powerless.

  “Now you are without your little techy bag of tricks, and I’ve taken enough superprocessors for my machine. Soon I will have control over every computer in the world and there will be nothing that you or your goofy band of spies can do to stop me.”

  “So you think you know me, huh?” Duncan said. “You might be surprised. My family doesn’t really know me. Agent Brand doesn’t even know me. Until very recently, I didn’t know myself, but what I’ve learned is very surprising.”

  “Oh?” Simon laughed. “I highly doubt that.”

  “It’s not the nanobytes or the gadgets that will help me stop your stupid plan. It’s my brain that’s going to help me kick your butt.” Duncan pulled back and punched Simon in the face. The bucktoothed boy fell backward and slid across the floor. When he got up, his mouth was full of blood and his hands were full of teeth. Two teeth, in fact.

  “What have you done?” Simon lisped. His mouth had a huge hole where his big choppers used to be. “You’ve . . . you’ve—”

  “My brain told me a good pop in the mouth would stop you,” Duncan said. “
Pretty smart, huh?”

  Simon turned to his squirrels. “Go get him, you good-for-nothing freeloaders.”

  The squirrels stood still, shaking their heads back and forth and looking utterly confused.

  “Didn’t you hear me? I commanded you to—” Then Duncan saw a flash of understanding in the villain’s eyes. The squirrels had been under his command for a long time. They weren’t his partners. They were his hostages. And now they were suddenly free and they wanted revenge.

  Simon’s furry minions turned on him, and months’ worth of rage came out as they scratched at him and hurled nuts in his face. He fell to the ground, unable to defend himself.

  “So that’s how you take over the world, kid?” Mama shouted at Simon.

  “Two down, two to go,” Duncan said. “I just fried Albert’s brain. He won’t be causing any more problems.”

  Mama snarled. “I’m taking over this operation. I’m going to show you all how it’s done, and the first thing we’re going to do is kill the hero. Do it!” she shouted at the goon.

  The goon looked at Mama and shrugged. Then he flashed his hook at Duncan. Its silver edges glimmered almost as much as his wicked smile. Then he lashed out at the boy.

  Duncan leaped out of the way just in time. He stumbled over a chair. The goon slashed at him again, opening the leather seat of the chair and sending stuffing flying.

  “C’mon kid,” the goon said as Duncan stumbled toward the back of the rocket. “There’s no escape.”

  Duncan was backed up against a bank of computer monitors. The goon was mere inches away. He raised his hook high in the air and brought it down hard and fast. Duncan ducked and heard a crash. Sparks showered down on him, and when he looked up, he realized the goon was shaking uncontrollably. His metal hook was impaled in one of the TVs, and electricity was coursing through him.

  Duncan flipped off the power and the man tumbled to the ground, unconscious.

  “Enough!” Mama screamed. “I’ll do it myself!.” With rage in her eyes she lunged forward and grabbed Duncan by the shirt and threw him toward the open door of the rocket. Duncan grabbed on to Mama to save himself and they both went tumbling out of the ship into the open sky. They turned end over end as the hungry earth below pulled them ever closer.

  But then Matilda was there, with an arm around Duncan’s chest, stopping his fall. Duncan tried to hold on to Mama, but the old woman squirmed like a cornered animal and pulled herself from his grip. All Duncan and Matilda could do was watch as Mama disappeared into the clouds.

  Agent Brand was sorting through the remains of the Playground. Everywhere he looked was destruction. More than forty years of history was completely destroyed—all of it under his watch. It was all he needed to make his decision. He stepped over to the glass table and used his sleeve to wipe off a thick layer of black dust. Then he activated the communications system. One lone computer monitor lowered from above. It blinked to life, revealing a grizzled general with a head shaped like a bullet.

  “I’m sorry to bother you, General Savage, but I have something important to discuss about the team.”

  General Savage cocked a curious eyebrow. “I always have time for you, Brand.”

  “I have concerns about the future of this—” Suddenly, the screen went black.

  “General? General?”

  Ms. Holiday stepped out from behind a column. She was holding a black cord—one that was supposed to be plugged into the wall. “We’re having technical difficulties.”

  “Ms. Holiday—”

  “Sit down, Alexander. I have something to say to you,” the woman replied.

  Agent Brand shook his head but did as he was told. He was too tired to argue.

  “So you want to shut the team down?” the librarian continued.

  Agent Brand nodded. “Look around you. This is not the result of a team that can handle big problems.”

  Ms. Holiday looked around. “I disagree. I think this is all the evidence you need to prove that these kids can be counted on to save the world. If they hadn’t done what they did, the whole planet would look like this.”

  “They’re children,” Brand said. “I can’t trust their judgment.”

  “This isn’t about their judgment, Alexander. It’s about yours. Heathcliff betrayed you and you feel like you should have seen it coming. You’re mad that a little boy deceived you and you’re using your bruised ego as an excuse to get out of this job.”

  Brand raised his eyebrows in surprise. It was like Holiday was reading his mind. He realized then that this woman, this beautiful, talented, amazing spy could also be his friend.

  “Well, snap out of it, you crybaby!” Ms. Holiday said. Brand nearly fell out of his seat.

  The librarian continued. “You agreed to take on these kids. You agreed to lead them and help them to make the world safe. So one of them betrayed you! Are you telling me you’ve never worked with a double agent or someone who went rogue? Was Heathcliff Hodges the first person to surprise you? If so, you have been the most sheltered secret agent in the world, buddy. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself. You’ve got to reinstate Duncan and get the Playground back in working order, and—”

  “Is this a man-up speech?” the spy asked.

  Ms. Holiday couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, it is.”

  The handsome agent sat quietly for a long moment. “Your message is received loud and clear, Ms. Holiday.”

  “Good!” the woman cried, though she seemed surprised that he didn’t put up a fight. “Now let’s stop all the pity parties and get to work. We’ve got a world to keep an eye on.”

  Brand grinned and Ms. Holiday stared. “I’ve never seen you smile. You should do more of it.”

  Brand frowned but then laughed.

  Then Ms. Holiday handed him a slip of paper.

  “What’s this?”

  “It’s a secret code, Alexander. The next time you need to talk to someone, use it.”

  Brand looked down at the slip of paper. It was Ms. Holiday’s phone number.

  “You could also use it to explain why you were jealous of Captain Blancard,” she continued.

  Brand was going to argue, but Ms. Holiday stopped him.

  “Just call me,” the beautiful librarian said. “I don’t want to have to give you another man-up speech.”

  “Allen wrench,” Avery said. Duncan found it in the toolbox and handed it to his father, who was lying under the Mustang. His father’s oil-covered hand snatched it and disappeared.

  “Thanks, son.”

  “So, what are you doing under there?”

  Avery rolled out from under the chassis. He was lying on a wooden dolly. “Why don’t you come down and take a look for yourself?”

  Duncan put down the tools and eased himself onto the dolly. When he was comfortable, his father rolled them both underneath the car. Duncan marveled at the many parts of the Mustang. With the help of a handheld light, he could see hoses, tubes, and belts. There must have been hundreds of different mechanisms that made the car go. Not one of them was computerized.

  “I’m changing the oil,” his father said. “And taking a look at the brakes. They felt a little spongy after our run-in with Ms. Nesbitt. I want to be prepared the next time one of our neighbors tries to kill us.”

  “Dad, you work on cars all day. I could have the scientists from the Playground come out here and do this for you,” Duncan said.

  Avery nodded. “I like knowing I can do a few things for myself.”

  “Without technology.” Duncan sighed.

  “It’s not that I’m against computers and gadgets, Duncan,” Avery said. “But as you get older you’ll find those things often fail you. If the power goes down, you lose all of them, and then it’s just you and a candle while you wait for someone smart, like those scientists, to come and fix it. I like knowing I can fix things myself. I like the connection my brain has to my hands.”

  Duncan lay there close to his father and realized that they weren’t all
that different.

  “So, can you teach me how the car works?”

  Avery laughed. “Not in one afternoon, son, but I’d be happy to tell you what I know.”

  Suddenly, they heard footsteps and the Creature’s voice. “I’m going to kill him!”

  Avery and Duncan shared a knowing look, then slid out from under the car.

  “Kill who, Tanisha?” their father asked.

  “TJ,” she cried. “He’s cheating on me.”

  “Who is TJ?” Avery asked.

  Suddenly, Benjamin floated into the garage. “Her boyfriend. She’s been using me to spy on him all afternoon, accessing satellite imagery. She wanted to fire a drone missile at his house, but I wouldn’t let her.”

  “Tanisha!” Duncan cried. “Those satellites belong to the United States government.”

  “Honey, when Duncan agreed to let you use his computer, he didn’t mean you could use it to invade other people’s privacy.”

  “Then I guess you’re probably not going to be happy that I turned TJ in to the NSA as a suspected terrorist. All right, fine. I’ll fix it. It’s just—well, to be honest, I’m sort of starting to dig the computer. I seem to have a connection with it. I guess it runs in the family.”

  Duncan smiled.

  Aiah came out to the garage. “Well, word is that the school is a disaster. They’re shutting it down until they can repair the damage that wacko did to it.”

  “The team is going to be operating out of a few empty offices at the Pentagon for the time being,” Duncan said.

  “So Dad changed his mind about you being a spy?” Tanisha asked.

  Avery shrugged. “The world needs him.”

  “Yeah, I talked to Agent Brand myself and he suggested I could get upgrades, too,” Tanisha replied.

  “Stick to abusing your boyfriend’s civil rights,” Aiah said. “This family can handle only one spy at a time.”

  “So what are they going to do about school?” Avery asked his son.

  “I guess they’ll have us take classes in trailers for now. Agent Brand, Ms. Holiday, and the lunch lady are already setting up access to the Playground.”