Hate to Love You (Baker's Bunch Book 1)

by Lily Ryan

  My cock has been hard and waiting for the invitation since she climbed on top of me. I move my hand toward the front of the thong and slip my fingers under the lacy material. I press my thumb on her clit and tap it. Her tongue continues to swipe against mine as I use my fingers to fuck her.

  She moans. I know she’s close. The windows aren’t as clear as they were a few minutes ago. I want to bring her there, but I want my cock to do it. I pull my hand out from under her and rub my thumb on her lips, moistening them with her juices.

  “I want to taste you.” I run my tongue over her lips before I kiss her. “Mmm. Delicious.”

  I pull the neck line of her dress down and take one of her breasts out of her bra and rest it over the material of her dress. I squeeze her tit, kneading it greedily before bringing my mouth to it. I suck with fervor, circle the peak with my tongue until her nipple is swollen and hard, while my hand plays with the other one.

  Frenzied, Sam reaches for my belt. She opens it along with my jeans and pulls down the zipper. I lift my hips giving her room to pull my throbbing cock out. I reach in the glove box for a square wrapper. I rip it open with my teeth, roll the condom on and pull her thong over to the side.

  I lay the seat down all the way and position my dick at her opening. My girl glides over my length. She rides me, lifting up and down with her tits bouncing, till the windows fog all the way. My hands hold her hips and help her along, moving her faster and faster.

  “I want to cum, Cole. Don’t stop,” she yells, before bringing her mouth down on my shoulder. I pull her chest flush against mine and thrust from below doing as she asks until I hear nothing but her cries and I feel her clench around me.

  Once she catches her breath, Sam takes over again. She slides up and down on my dick while I hold her tits tight, until I give in and allow myself to release.

  It’s a long time before Sam moves from my arms. We don’t speak, just hold each other close until our pounding hearts return to normal. Neither of us speak. About her parents, or her brother. Especially not about tomorrow.

  Chapter 8

  Samantha

  I don’t realize how much I miss my brother until he comes home. The second Tyler walks in the door, I throw myself into his arms. I don’t think I let go of him for five minutes.

  “Hey, I’m alright.” He assures me.

  “I can’t believe I almost lost you!” I choke out. It’s the first time I verbalized it. The first time I let myself think about it. Luckily I had Cole around to keep my mind preoccupied.

  “I’m sorry, I was weak, Sammie. I promise, it won’t happen again.”

  “It better not!” I give him a stern warning. “I’m still mad at you. You could’ve come to me.”

  He nods. “I know. I’m a dumbass.”

  “Yes, but I love you anyway.”

  My father clears his throat. Of course he’s the one to interrupt a touching brother/sister moment. A moment I’ve been waiting over a month for, and one I can never get back.

  “We need to sit and talk.” He motions toward the kitchen table. We each take our normal seats and wait for my father to start the conversation. He isn’t fast to do it, so Tyler takes the lead.

  “First, I want to start with thank you. You didn’t have to stand by me, but you did. And I appreciate it.”

  “Oh, Tyler,” Mom chimes in. “We love you.”

  “I know I have to earn your trust back. I’m not expecting to go back to the way things were where I come and go whenever I want. I understand you need to know where I am and who I’m with. And that I’ll have limits.”

  “That’s not what I wanted to say,” Dad says, sharing a look with Mom, “But since you brought it up, your mother went through your room and threw out your stash. We dumped all the alcohol in the house. I don’t care that your twenty two, for the time being, you’re dry. And so is this house. Understand.”

  “Yes.” Tyler nods. “Before you say anything else. I hope you guys understand, this wasn’t about you not being good parents. You’re the best. I wouldn’t have made it through without you guys.”

  “Apparently we’re not “the best” as you put it, or you would’ve come to us, instead of a drug dealer,” Dad snaps.

  “The problem was me, and my shortcomings. I wasn’t looking to talk or solve my problems. I was looking to stop the pain. That’s all it was about. Numbing myself. Anyway I could. I know that’s not the answer, because I caused a lot more pain, for all of us.”

  “Here’s the thing, son. We love you. Yes you messed up, but we’re giving you another shot because the truth is, we do blame ourselves. Your mother and I . . .” Dad reaches across the table and takes my mother’s hand.

  Hope springs up alive and well in my heart. Maybe Cole was right. Maybe, they just said things out of anger that they didn’t mean, and now that Tyler’s home and our family is whole again, they’re willing to at least try and work it out. I lean forward in my chair, waiting for my father to say he’s going to move all his things back in the house.

  Dad clears his throat and starts again. “Your mother and I realized some painful truths.”

  Please say what I want to hear. Please don’t crush Tyler. Please don’t destroy me.

  Dad lets out a long breath. His face drops, and I know it’s bad news. I want to scream at him to stop. To stop cheating. To stop destroying our family. To. Just. Stop.

  “Your mother and I respect each other very much. Enough to realize, we don’t work anymore.”

  A subdued rage bubbles in my chest. Angry tears I refuse to let out burn the back of my eyes. I should be worried about how Tyler’s handling this, but I’m not because it’s hurting me. Somewhere in all this everyone forgot about me.

  I glance at my brother. His face dropped. He turned three shades of white. It hurts him too. I hate them for doing this.

  “Mom, Dad,” he looks frantically between my parents. “Don’t. I’m sorry. I’m not going to fuck up again. I swear.”

  Mom doesn’t look at him. She shakes her head and keeps her eyes glued on the table top. “It’s not your fault, sweetheart. It’s . . .” she’s taken over by ugly loud sobs before she gets up, rushes from the table into her bedroom and closes the door.

  Tyler and I look at each other. Neither of us know what to do. We’ve never seen mom like this. I’m scared and angry. I hate my father for doing this to her, to all of us.

  My brother reaches over and squeezes my hand, like I’m the one that needs to keep from crumbling. I won’t let myself fall apart. I’m stronger than all of them. Because I have to be.

  “I hope you’re happy.” I glare at my father. “This is your fault. All your fault.”

  I rush to my room and slam my door. So much for my brother’s happy home coming.

  I throw myself on my bed and cry. There’s only one person I want to talk to and I can’t. I promised Cole I wouldn’t let my brother find out about us before we are ready to tell him.

  Cole wants to spend some time with Tyler to reconnect and make sure my brother’s okay. Once Cole is convinced Ty can handle it, we’ll tell him together.

  Just because I can’t see Cole, doesn’t mean I can’t talk to him. I pick up my phone. I could send him a text, but I’d much rather hear his voice. Besides if anyone looks at my call history, it’ll show I called Drew.

  “Hey, Princess,” Cole answers the phone. “How’s it going?”

  “Better now,” I say, pulling at a string on my comforter.

  “How’s Ty?”

  I sniffle feeling guilty that it’s my brother’s first night back and we all bailed on him.

  “Better than me, I think.”

  “I doubt that. He puts on a good show, but underneath I bet he feels like he’s on shaky ground.”

  I honestly don’t know how my brother is, and that makes me just as selfish and self-centered as the rest of the lot. What makes everything worse for me is not having my outlet. The shoulder to cry on that I have in Cole.

 
“I’m a mess. I wish I could see you.”

  “Yeah, me too.” He sounds sad. Not as sad as me, but at least I know he’s not enjoying being apart from me.

  “Why don’t you come over?”

  “I don’t know. Your parents might not appreciate it.”

  “Yeah, they could go fuck themselves. They already ruined the night.” I wipe at the tears falling silently from my eyes. “My mother’s in her room crying, my father and I just got into it. You coming would be a good distraction for all of us.”

  “Sam, you know if I do, we can’t—”

  “I know. But seeing you, being in the same house as you is better than nothing. And I think it’ll be good for Tyl—”

  “Hey, babe. He’s calling me. I’ll talk to you later. Okay?”

  “Yeah. Okay.” I hang up feeling just as bad as I did when I called him. Maybe even worse because I needed him and he blew me off.

  A few minutes pass when I hear a knock on my door. I ignore it. There’s a chance my father is on the other side. Another knock comes. If it is my father it’s better to deal with him now, before he loses his shit and takes my door off the hinges. He only did that once to show me the lengths he’ll go to not to be ignored. I had to live without my door for three weeks.

  I pull the door open to find my brother there, leaning on the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. Shit. I hope he’s not here to lecture me about Cole, although I doubt Cole mentioned anything about us.

  “Can I come in?”

  I step aside and close the door behind him.

  “Might as well leave it open,” he starts. “Dad left. He apologized by the way. Said you have every right to be upset and he’s sorry he let us down.”

  “Sorry doesn’t mean a whole lot to me.” I struggle to keep from crying again.

  “It’s okay to cry,” Tyler takes my hands and pulls me in his arms. “I know how close you and dad are—”

  “Were.”

  “I’m sorry. Maybe if I didn’t—”

  “No. It’s not about you Ty. I saw him,” I push away from my brother as I think back to my father and his blonde bimbo secretary kissing. Bet he fucked her in his office, too. Is that what they do after morning coffee? Or every time he has a “dinner” meeting?

  I clear my throat. I need to sound strong, pretend I can handle all of this, even if I can’t. “It was earlier that day, before anything happened to you. It’s all on him.”

  “Aw, Sam, you’ve been dealing with this all on your own. I’m so sorry. I should’ve been here.”

  I shrug. “It’s fine.” It wouldn’t have been any better if Tyler was here when I found out. At least with him gone, I had Cole.

  The doorbell rings, and my heart jumps. I worry Tyler might notice it leaped two feet from my chest. If he does, he doesn’t say anything.

  “That’s Cole.” I do all I can not to spring up and do a summersault. “I hope you don’t mind, I invited him over. I haven’t spoken to him and since Mom and Dad . . . Why don’t you come down and hang with us.”

  Yes! Yes! YES! “I don’t know. Do you really want me there? Won’t I cramp your style?”

  “Of course I want you there. I missed you, Sam. You might be a pain in the ass, but you’re my pain in the ass.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  “Anytime.”

  I reach for a tissue to blow my nose as my brother heads out of my room. I take a quick peek in the mirror before following. Maybe I shouldn’t join them. I look like shit. I crinkle my nose at my reflection. My eyes are red and puffy, my skin blotchy from crying.

  My brother stops in his tracks and turns back to me. “Don’t worry about how you look, sis. You know it’s never going to happen.”

  “What are you talking about?” Shit if I’m that transparent maybe I shouldn’t be anywhere near them.

  “You know what. You and Cole. He’s never going to touch you. You’re not his type. That and he knows I’ll kill him if he ever does, so you could look like you’re ready to step out on the red carpet and it won’t matter. You’re off limits.”

  Now I’m nervous for an entirely different reason.

  “Thanks, bro. I appreciate it.”

  “Just helping where I can.”

  *

  I busy myself in the kitchen getting drinks as my brother answers the door. With two cans of soda and a bottle of water I head into the family room where they’re sitting and laughing about something. My brother takes his usual spot on the couch in front of the television. Cole sits in a chair, leaning his elbows on his knees.

  “I hope you don’t mind, I told Sam she could hang with us,” Tyler explains.

  Keeping his focus on my brother, Cole shrugs. “Whatever. She’s your problem, not mine.”

  That’s fucking cold. I want to kick Cole in the shin. I think about shaking his can and opening it in his face so it explodes all over him. I don’t. I remind myself to stay composed. Cole’s acting normal, I’m the one about to blow our cover.

  He looks up at me when I place the beverages on the table in front of him. His blue eyes lock on mine and holy fuck the temperature rises twenty degrees. The earth stops spinning and I’m light headed. This is the first time we’re together in my house since we had sex here.

  I wonder if he’s thinking about that too, because the heat in Cole’s stare causes sweat beads to form on the back of my neck. I take a deep breath to settle my nerves, but it messes me up more, because I get a whiff of his cologne. Now I want to sidle up next to him and bury my face in the crook of his neck.

  Even though I try not to, my eyes linger on Cole. He’s wearing a tight black tee-shirt and jeans. Nothing extraordinary, but he looks and smells too good for a night home alone. That’s where he claimed he’d be. Now I’m pissed.

  I muster up all my strength and break eye contact with him. I slide onto the couch next to my brother and fold my legs under me. This seems to help Cole snap out of his stupor as well. “So what the hell happened?” he asks.

  “My parents lost their fucking minds.”

  I don’t say anything, I listen attentively as Tyler catches his friend up on the latest family drama. Cole doesn’t let on that he’s heard any of this before.

  “How are you holding up?” Cole directs toward me.

  Surprised that he’s engaging me, I hug a pillow in front of me and keep my eyes down as I answer.

  “I hate it, but I’m kind of glad. This way we could all stop lying and pretending everything’s fine.”

  His brow furrows. He stares at me way too long before asking my brother the same question.

  “I know they said I have nothing to do with his, but I can’t help feeling like it’s my fault.”

  “When do you see your shrink?” Cole asks.

  “Not for a few days.”

  “Do you think this is something you might want to call him about?”

  “He’s a she,” my brother winks at his friend. “And, no. I’ve got this.”

  “If you need me, you know where I am.”

  “Thanks man. Let’s talk about something else. What’s been going on with you?”

  “Nothing really.”

  “Come on, I’ve been gone almost a month. You expect me to believe you haven’t had any new riders on the Cole express?”

  “You’re a dick, you know that right?”

  “What’s the matter, you’re suddenly embarrassed about how easy it is for you to find pussy?”

  My heart stops. It’s not like this is anything I didn’t already know, but hearing it, I want to throw up.

  “Dude, your sister is here.”

  Tyler shrugs. “Good. Let her see what guys are really like, how they talk when they’re with their friends. This way she doesn’t let the first douchebag that claims he loves her pull the wool over her eyes.” My brother turns to me. “We’re all no good, Sam.”

  I don’t know what the fuck my brother is doing. I shoot Cole a look. I want him to call Tyler out and prove he’s a liar, b
ut he isn’t even looking at me. His eyes are glued to my brother.

  Cole shakes his head. “Dude, you can’t be spewing this kind of garbage. I’ve sort of been seeing this girl. You run your mouth like this and I come off like a piece of shit.”

  “Oh fuck! You have? Why the hell didn’t you say something? Who is she? Do I know her?”

  “Yeah. I’m pretty sure you do. But I’m not ready to give names yet,” he says, making sure his eyes don’t leave my brother. “I want to give it a little more time, make sure we’re going somewhere, you know?”

  “That’s bullshit.” Tyler, sighs and continues. “I get it though. This way you don’t have to deal with all the questions when shit doesn’t work out. That was half the problem with Caitlin. Everyone kept asking why I broke up with her and making me feel like shit about it. ‘Oh, you were so good together.’ ‘I thought you guys were the real deal.’ Half the reason I couldn’t let go was because other people didn’t want me to.”

  Tyler continues talking, opening up about him and Caitlin, his anger toward her, and how guilty he feels about the abortion he would’ve likely pressured her to have, had he known about the pregnancy. Neither Cole nor I say much. We listen and let Tyler vent, until he goes to the bathroom.

  With my brother out of the room, Cole moves next to me.

  “I love these short shorts.” He trails his pointer finger up the inside of my thigh to the area between my legs. My heart races. “They give me a great view of your sweet ass,” he whispers.

  My entire body melts at the feel of his warm breath against my ear. Heat rushes to my cheeks. I feel them color with a blush. I hate that I can’t control how my body reacts to him.

  “I’m surprised you noticed.” I choke out.

  “How could I not? Especially when you’re bent over with it in my face.”

  “My ass was not in your face,” I answer, with as much sass as I can muster.

  “Fine, but you did give me a good look at it.” He winks.

  I roll my eyes and sigh. He looks at me questioningly. “What’s wrong? It’s not what your brother said is it?”

  “No. Nothing’s wrong.” I hate feeling insecure. But I’ve had a close up view of Cole’s dating history. Sort of. I’d hear from Tyler or in their conversations about the slew of girls he’s gone out with and fucked in high school and college. I don’t know Cole to be a cheater, but I do know, like my brother, he goes through girls more often than a boxer gets punched in the face.