Hate to Love You (Baker's Bunch Book 1)

by Lily Ryan

  “Sam?”

  “Okay, fine.” I shouldn’t have to ask this question, but with all the lying and cheating going on around me, I need to. Especially since I’m not sure what the hell we are to each other. “You always look and smell this good for a night at home?” I raise an eyebrow at him.

  “It is what your brother said.” He smiles at me and I swoon. I fucking swoon when I want to keep my defenses up.

  “I’m not home, am I? I’m here, with you.”

  Okay, he has a point. “Yeah, but this wasn’t the plan. It was last minute. And when I spoke to you it didn’t even sound like you wanted to see me.”

  “Of course I did. Don’t be jelly, princess.” He takes my hand between both of his. Warmth spreads through me. It’s a comforting warmth deep inside that I feel every time he touches me. “I banked on an invite from your brother. I needed him to ask me to come.”

  I take him at his word and drop it. Cole’s been amazing and he’s given me no reason not to trust him, so why don’t I? Because I lost all trust in the men in my life. Having my brother home and my father MIA reminds me of that.

  It doesn’t help that Cole wants to keep whatever is going on between us a secret. I understand why, sort of, but it still stings. I want to tell my brother, so we can tell everyone else and I can stop feeling like Cole’s ashamed to be with me.

  He wants to wait. His reasons make sense. It sounds legit, but I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach. It makes no sense because I know he’s not that type of guy, but I can’t help worry, with Tyler around, Cole’s going to kick me to the curb.

  I can either give Cole a chance to prove me wrong, or wrap my heart in protective bubble wrap and push him away, which may or may not keep it from being broken. Because if he moves on, I’ll be shattered.

  “Hey, one way or another, I was going to find an excuse to stop by tonight,” he says, tugging on a lock of my hair with a smile.

  It’s the smile I can’t resist. The smile that caused me to take a leap and jump off the roof of a skyscraper into a free fall when we kissed.

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because you’re my girl.” He grins and the heat between my legs melts my panties right off. My worries evaporate, and my heart skips a beat. Maybe two. “And I know your taking all this harder than you let on. I need to make sure you’re good.”

  Cole lunges off the couch and back to his seat at the sound of footfalls drawing near. All the warmth he created seconds ago, evaporates and gives way to a cold chill.

  To our surprise, it’s not my brother intruding on us. It’s my mother.

  “Cole.” She says his name with disapproval. I can’t help but get the feeling that she knows something’s up with us. She knows I’ve had a crush on him for years. It never seemed to bother her. I wonder what changed. “What are you doing here?”

  “Hey, Mom,” Tyler breaks in. “I hope you don’t mind, I invited him.”

  “Oh, Tyler. There you are.” She says in a much softer tone. “No. Sweetheart, of course not.”

  I don’t know what bothers me more. The fact that her attitude took a one hundred and eighty degree turn, at the sound of my brother’s voice, or that she just proved Cole right. My parents aren’t going to be happy about us.

  Quite frankly, I could care less because they’re not the best role models at the moment. And honestly, I’m not happy with them.

  Chapter 9

  Cole

  We weren’t careful enough. After Austin saw us at the library, we had to change venues. Instead of laying low and cooling things off, I chose to keep meeting up at Skylar’s Point. Like a selfish son of a bitch, I had to see her. Touch her. Kiss her. And I was too chicken shit to bring her home.

  We waited until dark and met there. Like Tyler, my world spun out of control. I became hooked. Fixated. Only my addiction didn’t form on a substance. It manifested on a person.

  Sammie became my dependency. My obsession. My vice.

  After never having one to get through the day, I now needed my fix of Sammie at night. She had me so drawn into my world of fantasy and illusion, I functioned with my head up my ass. Because if I a had a sober thought, a rational idea that didn’t revolve around my unyielding need for this girl, I never would’ve picked that location.

  Too many people.

  I thought because it’s dark, and everyone else there is busy hooking up, that no one would pay attention to me and who I’m with. Since the cryptic text I got last night, I realize that’s not the case.

  Unkown: It was nice seeing you at the point lover boy.

  I don’t know the number so I didn’t bother responding. I have nothing to gain. Someone saw me. The only question is, did they see and recognize Sam? I didn’t tell her yet. It’s something we should talk about in person. But that can’t happen until her brother knows about us.

  I can’t put it off any longer. I have to tell Tyler. Tonight. Without Sam. Just him and me. Whatever the consequences.

  I rub the back of my neck, close my eyes, and lean my head back against the rest while I wait for the light to turn green.

  “Before I forget, Sam leaves for college in two weeks. Do you think you could help move her into her dorm?”

  “Yeah. Sure.”

  “You okay?” Tyler asks.

  “Fine.” I lie. “Tired from work.”

  “Sure. Rub it in,” my friend teases. “With all the jobs I applied for, I haven’t even gotten a call back.”

  “It’s only been two weeks. You make it sound like a year.”

  “Might as well be. It’s still discouraging.”

  “Sorry, man.”

  Only, I’m not sorry. I don’t really care and that makes me feel like an awful person. Even more so because my mind is on my friend’s sister, and I can’t tell him that. I can’t tell him that Sam has me by the balls and she’s squeezing them tight.

  She’s pissed that it’s yet another Friday night and I’m not taking her out. She thinks I’m embarrassed of her and that I have no intention of telling Tyler about us.

  Ever.

  She couldn’t be more wrong.

  It’s been nearly impossible to keep my hands and lips off my best friend’s sister. It’s been two long weeks of exchanging longing looks when no one’s watching and creating opportunities to touch. Sam brushes her fingers against mine when she hands me a napkin or a drink. My hand finds the curve of her hips as I walk past her to the bathroom, or into her brother’s room.

  It’s been two weeks of silent torture as we long to be alone but don’t dare take that chance. Still, it’s been bearable because we manage to see each other every night. Until tonight.

  This is the first time Tyler’s mother has agreed to let him go out. I hoped I’d have a chance to go in the house and look in Sam’s eyes before we left. Say a quick hello and let her get a glimpse of how hungry I am for her. That’s why I offered to pick Tyler up.

  Apparently no one gave him the script. He didn’t know how desperately I wanted to see his sister. He waited for me outside. Alone. Leaving me no reason to go in the house and no chance to run into her.

  Sammie threw a hissy fit about us going out on the prowl. Tyler and his big fucking mouth. I wanted to reassure her that I’m not pissed.

  Hurt yes. Pissed no.

  Besides, she should know better. While Tyler doesn’t know anything is going on between us yet, when he finds out, he’ll kick my ass if I so much as look at another girl between now and then.

  “You seem off. Your girl upset you’re going out without her?”

  I shrug. What am I supposed to tell him? Yes, my girl, your sister, is so upset and trusts me so little, she wants to cut my dick off and store it in a box?

  “Yeah, she’s afraid we’re out looking for pussy.”

  “Hey, Cole. I’m in no position to give advice, but if she’s so clingy that you can’t hang out with your friends, or spend a night without her, maybe you should rethink this?”

  “A nigh
t? Ty, I’ve been with you every night since you got home.”

  “I guess,” he says, looking out the window. “I mean since when are you into the relationship thing anyway?”

  Yeah, he’d be singing a different tune if he knew it was his sister I’m talking about. And that his big mouth is the reason she’s worried. Okay. Time to man up. Tonight I’m going to grow a pair. I’m going to tell him. For better or worse.

  Besides, if I don’t tell him, someone else will. Austin knows. Who knows if he told anyone? Oh shit, maybe that text came from his brother’s phone. Maybe he and Zane are playing some sort of sick practical joke. I can only hope.

  How did my life turn into a fucking mess? I knew that would happen if I stayed with Sam. I just didn’t expect it to blow up so fast. Like, the second Tyler got home.

  I had reservations about starting something up with her. Lots of them. But I went against each and every one.

  First, there’s her age. She’s young. Inexperienced. Sam hasn’t had a real relationship and I’m not sure what she’s looking for. That being said, I’m not sure what I want either. Especially with her leaving for college in a few weeks.

  Second, any relationship with Sam is bound to cause friction with Tyler. It has to. He’s ridiculously protective of his sister and doesn’t trust any guy with her. Not even me. He made that clear after the pillow fight on the couch.

  “You ever touch her, and I mean ever, I’ll cut your dick off and feed it to you for dinner,” Tyler warns.

  “Please, what would I want with her?”

  “Don’t. I see how you look at her when you think no one’s watching. You come alive when she walks in the room.” He grabs me by the collar, “So help you, if you ever sprout wood, I’m chopping it down.”

  “Stop.” I shove him off. “She’s your sister. I don’t see her as a girl. I wouldn’t even know she is one, if you didn’t keep making such a big deal about it.”

  “Just as long as we’re clear. You keep your hands, and cock away from her or you have me to answer to.”

  Defiling Sam pretty much constitutes an ass beating as far as my buddy’s concerned. Maybe even a beheading. Of both heads.

  He doesn’t understand that a guy could fall for her because she’s smart and sweet. That her smile wakes him, dick in hand and breathless in the middle of the night. That Sam runs through his veins like crack, taking him on a euphoric high, where even short bouts of time without her leaves him desperate for more.

  My phone chimes. Great, a message. I know it’s not Sam from the tone. I hope it’s not another message from unknown.

  “Seriously, Cole, you seem really uptight. If you want to go work shit out with your girl, we can go out another night.”

  “No. She’s not the problem. Well she is, but tonight, you and me, this is important.”

  Even if I could convince Tyler I truly care about Sam, the biggest reservation I had about hooking up with her is coming to fruition. It’s Sam herself.

  She’s everything a guy could want. Smart, and witty. Beautiful and sexy. And incredibly insecure because she doesn’t see any of it. At all. That makes her vulnerable and easy to hurt. I shake the last thought off.

  I’m not going to hurt her, because I’m not giving her enough credit. Sam’s also strong and determined. I’ve never seen her let anything keep her down for long.

  Even knowing that, sat at the top of her swing set, small and huddled in the eye of a literal and figurative storm, I couldn’t stop myself from joining her. I wanted to hold her. Shelter her. Keep her safe.

  I knew her world was wobbly and off balance. I didn’t realize at the moment how fast it spun on the tip of a pin point. It whirled and rocked until it fell off its axis. I stretched a hand out to her, but it wasn’t enough. She couldn’t grasp it.

  I had to go after her. I was afraid if I didn’t, she’d be lost forever. I had to reach her. Help. To stop every bit of pain consuming her. I thought I’m strong enough for the both of us. I can hold us in place until the world slows down and rights itself around her. Now, I’m not sure it ever will.

  It’s no surprise, Sam’s jaded after Doug. After Doug. After Tyler. After her father. I’m just one in a long line of guys she expects to let her down. She doesn’t trust me. At all. I knew the situation with her parents would taint her perspective, but for her to think the first night I don’t see her that I’m on the prowl; that threw me for a loop. Did the last five weeks together not mean anything?

  As I park, another message comes in. I have a sinking feeling in my stomach that it’s not good.

  “Aren’t you going to see what she wants?” Tyler asks reaching for my phone tucked in the center console.

  “Don’t.” I grab it from him.

  “Relax. This chick has you in knots. I’ve never seen you so uptight.”

  “Leave it.” I shoot him a warning look.

  “Whatever. If I ever ask if she has a friend, remind me of this night,” Tyler jokes.

  I wait for him to get out of the parked car before I check the message. It’s unknown again. This time the person doesn’t say anything, they send an image. Please let it be a stupid meme. Please let this be my jackass friend pulling a prank.

  I open the pic before I get out of the car, and my body prepares for battle. Mother fucker sent a pic of Sam and me hot and heavy in my car. I shake with rage, ready to lash out at the first person who looks at me wrong. Another message comes in.

  Unknown: Hope you were worth blowing her life up.

  Whoever the fuck this is, is going to wish they never fucked with me.

  I tamp the urge to scream down, but I can’t control the tensions overtaking my muscles. I square my shoulders. My jaw tenses.

  Me: Tell me who the fuck this is and we’ll settle it like men.

  Unknown: Meet me at Frigid Delight in thirty minutes. Make sure Tyler’s with you.

  Tyler? How the fuck does he know I’m with Tyler? I look around. This person could be anywhere. He could be anyone. This is bullshit. I’m not afraid of this coward.

  Me: No deal. This is between you and me.

  Unknown: You’ll play it my way or I post pics all over the internet. I’ll make sure Tyler’s the first one I send them to. On the up side, you’re going to be famous. You’ll be liked and shared on every social media sight. Maybe you’ll get a gig on a reality show.

  Me: If I don’t come?

  Unknown: if you don’t show, or tell anyone, I’ll make sure to send a hard copy to the Dean of Admissions at the college she’s going to. I’m sure this is exactly the type of student body he’s looking for.

  I slam my palm against the steering wheel. Who would do something like this? Before I answer, my phone buzzes. And again. Two more images pop up. More pictures from my car. Sam’s tits are on full display in my hands, and in my mouth as she straddles me. Sick, perverted fuck had to be watching us the whole time.

  There’s a knock on my window. I jump so high, I almost hit my head on the roof of the car. My heart races. Adrenaline spikes through my veins, my entire body shakes with anger.

  It’s Tyler. I don’t know if he saw my screen. God, I hope not. If he did I’m dead and right now I need to get to the bottom of who’s fucking with me and Sam.

  I shove my phone in my pocket before getting out and slam my car door. I do a quick scan of the parking lot. I don’t see anything or anyone suspicious. When my eyes meet my friend’s, I can tell he knows something’s off.

  “Want to skip the movie?” He asks.

  “Do you mind?”

  Ty shakes his head. “Not at all. C’mon, let’s go.”

  Neither of us say anything as I drive away. Tyler doesn’t ask where we’re going and I don’t offer anything up on the ten minute drive over to Frigid Delight. The tension in the car is palpable.

  “You want to drop me off at home and call it night?”

  I shake my head, “No.”

  I should tell him, I know that. Prepare him for the wrench about to
be thrown at our heads. Sam’s his sister, and this is going to hurt him as much, if not more than it’s going to hurt me. But I don’t mention it. Yet again, I’m a shitty friend.

  I don’t mean to be. I don’t know what to do. I understand that Ty needs to keep his nose clean and stay on the straight and narrow. The last thing he needs is to get mixed up in needless drama, but the son of a bitch wants Tyler there, and he’s threatening to ruin Sam otherwise.

  I can’t let him hurt her. I can’t let anyone hurt her.

  I cut the engine but don’t move to get out. Neither does my friend.

  “What are we doing here?”

  “I wish I knew where to start.”

  “Just tell me what’s on your mind.”

  This is it. The moment of truth.

  “There’s a lot on my mind.” I play with the steering wheel, running my fingers over the bottom, back and forth. “I need to tell you about the girl I’m seeing.”

  “She’s a keeper isn’t she?”

  I nod.

  “Hope she’s worth it. She’s got you looking like a pretzel.”

  “She’s worth it, man. She’s very special.”

  “As in you love her special?”

  I shrug. How do I answer that? I haven’t really thought about it. I can’t stop thinking about Sam. I want to spend every minute with her that I can. I haven’t gone a day without seeing her since we started hooking up, until today, and look how that’s working out. I’m about to blow like a volcano. Add to it all that someone wants to hurt her, and all I think of is ripping his head off and shoving it up his ass.

  “Maybe.” It’s the most honest answer I can give. “I’d do anything to stop her from getting hurt.”

  “And you still haven’t told me who she is? This is bullshit.”

  “Yeah. That’s about to change.”

  I hesitate, not sure if I want to tell him here in the car, where it’s less likely that he’ll beat the shit out of me, or inside when the guy approaches me. I go with the latter in the hopes that Tyler will be so pissed at this fucker for threatening his little sister, he’ll forget to be mad at me.