Hate to Love You (Baker's Bunch Book 1)

by Lily Ryan

  “Come on, it’s time I come clean.” Still I give no hint of what’s to come. “But, I have to warn you, you’re not going to like it.”

  I head toward the ice cream parlor before Tyler could respond.

  A bell jingles over the glass door as we step inside. A tall, thin blonde heads straight for us. A big smile’s plastered on her pretty, but overly made up face. I can’t place her. She must be a friend of Tyler’s. Only, as she gets closer, I realize he’s not her target. I am.

  Her blue eyes lock on mine and her smile grows wider.

  “Hey sexy,” she stands on her tip toes, her hands rest on my hips as her lips come right at me. I barely have time to turn my head before her mouth lands on the corner of mine. I’m momentarily frozen. Stunned.

  “Come on, baby,” she says, wrapping her arm around my elbow. “You know I’m looking forward to meeting your friends. You must be Tyler,” she smiles at him. “I’m Callie.” She presses herself against my side and leans her head on my shoulder. I try to slip out of her grasp, without causing a scene, but it isn’t working.

  “Nice to meet you,” my friend responds. “I’ll give you two a minute while I go hit the head.”

  I succeed in pushing Callie off when my friend disappears around the corner, leading to the back.

  Callie. Who is she? And why does that name sound so familiar?

  “What do you want? And why the fuck are you touching me?” I growl.

  “Follow me.”

  Is she serious? Does she really think she can bark orders at me and I’m going to listen?

  “No, thanks. I’m good.”

  “Fine.” She leans in and whispers in my ear. “I’ll tell Tyler all about your rendezvous with his baby sister.” She pulls back and speaks in a louder voice. “Or better yet, I’ll pull the pictures of you and Sam up for him. In fact, I have them blown up to poster size in my car.” She says, turning away from me.

  I don’t think. I act. React is more like it. I snag her arm tight in my grasp, turn her around and step in to her so that I’m in her face. “Don’t you dare!” I hiss.

  Callie looks up at me through her lashes. And runs her pointer finger down the center of my chest. “Go ahead and man handle me,” she says, raising her eyebrows and flashing a wicked smile at me. “I like it rough.”

  I let go immediately and take a step back. There’s something wrong with this chick. “What do you want?”

  “Follow me.”

  This time I do. I need to know what game we’re playing and why. She stops at an empty booth near the front of the parlor.

  “Sit,” she orders.

  With a dirty look, I step in front of her and take a seat. Just my luck, she scoots in next to me. I back up into the corner to create distance between us, but it doesn’t work. She leans against me. If that isn’t bad enough, she takes it a step further and slides her hand up my thigh.

  I take hold of her hand, “Stop!”

  Tyler returns and takes the seat across from us.

  “Play along,” Callie whispers in my ear, “Or I show him everything.”

  “So, how did you guys meet?” Tyler asks.

  “It was the craziest thing,” Callie leans toward him, seemingly happy to engage in conversation. “I was really depressed this one night, and I just wanted to get lost looking at the stars, so I drove up to Skylar’s Point.”

  “Alone?”

  She nods. “Yes. I know, that’s pretty fucking desperate. It’s hook up central, but I just needed some fresh air, somewhere dark where no one would bother me. I sat on the hood of my car, and Cole saw me there.” She pauses and uses the moment of silence to invade my personal space even more. She’s right up against me, practically sitting on my lap. One hand plays with the hair at the back of my neck, while the other moves from my outer thigh, up and in.

  My skin crawls from her touch. I don’t want her. I don’t want this. I want Sam next to me, I want Sam’s tits pressed against my arm, not Callie’s. I reach for her hand again and hold it tight, to keep her from touching me any further.

  “Anyhow, Cole got into an argument with the girl he brought there. A girl I went to school with. This mousy brunette. She left him high and dry, so he came over and joined me on the hood of my car.” She tilts her head and smiles up at me. “I fell for him right then and there. He looked so sexy out there in the moonlight. I couldn’t resist him.”

  “If you’ll excuse me. I need to use the bathroom.”

  This is an excuse to get away from Callie. I move away from her, but it’s not far enough, I’m still in her reach and she’s not letting go. Maybe once I pry her fingers off me, Tyler will follow me and I can explain that this thing with Callie isn’t real. That she’s not the girl I’m losing my shit over. Either way I need a minute to call Sam. She needs to know what’s going on before she hears about it from Tyler or someone else.

  “Wait,” Callie grabs my shirt collar and pulls me back to her. She leans into me and lands a hard kiss square on my lips. I turn away from Callie, get to my feet and head to the bathroom. “Hurry back, lover boy.”

  I want to puke. I have half a mind to go to scrub my lips until a layer of skin comes off. I don’t notice until after it all transpires. A pair of green eyes at the back end of the ice cream parlor are locked on me.

  Green eyes that puncture my heart with a look of disbelief and betrayal. Green eyes that turn dark and pained. Death by a thousand cuts wouldn’t hurt as much.

  Chapter 10

  Samantha

  “Come on, it’ll be fun.” Abby whines, making me cringe.

  “Nah,” I say, to my friend. “I’m just going to stay home and catch up on my binge watching.”

  “You’ve been doing that for like a month already. You don’t watch that many things to catch up on.”

  “That’s the whole point of binge watching. You find something new and keep watching until you’re caught up.”

  She sighs. I hate having to lie to her. Especially since I’m pissed as hell at Cole and could really use her as a sounding board.

  “Look, I know Doug embarrassed you, but don’t you think it’s time to come out of hiding?”

  “I’m not hiding.”

  “Like hell you’re not.”

  “I’m not. I mean it.”

  “Great, then it’s about Cole. Sam, I know you’ve been crushing on him forever, but nothing’s happened since that night. You can’t keep waiting, hoping he’ll come around.”

  Abby doesn’t know everything that transpired between Cole and me. She overheard part of our conversation at the coffee shop the next day, so I had to tell her something. I said we kissed before he drove me to the hospital the night my brother ODed. Kissed a lot. But nothing since.

  I know I can trust her not to say anything. She is my best friend, I should be able to tell her that we met secretly every night that my brother was away. But I haven’t. I promised Cole I’d keep “us” a secret, so I haven’t elaborated on anything that happened after we left for the hospital. I told Abby that Cole admitted he liked me but worried Tyler and my parents would disapprove, so I’m not sure where things stand.

  I also managed to play up the Doug episode and how hard it hit me to be humiliated in front of everyone. I needed an excuse not to see her after I got off work over the last month and a half so I could meet up with Cole. Now, she thinks I’m an emotional wreck. Tonight, though, she might not be that far off.

  “Fine, don’t come to the party. At least meet me for a cup of coffee or a milkshake. Anything.”

  “Okay, Frozen Delights actually sounds pretty good.” Nothing like drowning your sorrows in ice cream.

  And getting out of the house might get my mind off of Cole for a minute or two. Sitting here, wondering where they are and what they’re doing is driving me crazy.

  Tyler’s been home for two weeks, and Cole still doesn’t want to tell my brother. The situation hasn’t been terrible since he’s come here every night to hang out with Tyler
and I just happen to be around the house.

  My brother on the other hand, has been itching to get out. Get out and get laid. He’s been pleading his case for a chance to earn back a hint of trust, and tonight he won my mother over. I can’t help but wonder if Tyler’s getting laid, what will Cole be doing?

  “Yay! Do you want me to pick you up?”

  “Sure. That sounds good.”

  “Great. I’ll see you in a little bit.”

  It’s good for me to get out of the house. This way I’m not sitting around waiting for him to pop in. God, I’m pathetic. How did this happen?

  *

  There are only a handful of people at Frozen Delights when we arrive. Abby and I place our orders and find an empty table in the back.

  “Come to the party with me tonight. Please!” Abby’s voice rises about eight octaves. I hold my breath, waiting for the windows to shatter. “I really want you to meet him.”

  “The last group get together I was at didn’t go all that well and I’m not sure I’m up for being laughed at again.”

  “That’s what makes this party perfect to go to. It’s in Freemont, not Bakersfield. None of that crowd will be there. At least not too many. Best of all, none of the guys there have been warned off by Tyler.”

  I shake my head. I can’t go. First, I don’t want to. Second, if Abby’s right and the guys there don’t know that my brother is a maniac, things might get weird if a cute guy talks to me and I’m not into him. Especially since I’m working hard to “move on” since the Doug incident.

  While I’m not a hundred percent sure what Cole and I are, I know we are something and I don’t want to risk ruining it.

  “I’m sorry, Abby, I’m just not in the mood.”

  “Well get in the mood!”

  I don’t say anything. I’m staring at the couple being waited on in the front of the store. I wish I could unsee them. They aren’t holding hands or anything, but I still can’t get the image of them kissing out of my head. If I listen long enough I can still hear the whispers and laughs buzzing around me.

  My friend follows my gaze, reaches out and places her hand over mine.

  “I’m fine, Abs.” I shift in my seat so I’m not staring at them head on. Still, my eyes are drawn to my ex.

  As if he could feel me looking at him, Doug turns and our eyes meet.

  “Shit.” I say dropping my eyes. The last thing I want or need is for him to think I’m hung up on him.

  Within seconds, Doug and Marcus stand at the head of our table. I want to tell them to go fuck off, but that might seem like I give a shit, and there’s a chance Doug might derive a hint of satisfaction from that. I’m not that generous.

  “Hey, Sam. Abby.” Doug greets us.

  Abby says hello, I don’t bother answering.

  “Sam, can we talk alone a minute.”

  “She has nothing to say to you,” Abby jumps to my defense. “I mean do you really think you can just act like nothing happened?”

  He ignores her. “Sam?”

  I shake my head.

  “Fine then we’ll sit with you and I’ll say what I have to right here.”

  “What is there to say, Doug? I don’t have a problem that you guys are together. I have a problem with you using me as a cover and not telling me.”

  “You’re right. Now can you ladies please move over and let us sit for a minute?”

  “Fine,” I say, with a huff, scooting into the corner.

  Doug sits next to me, Marcus next to Abby. There’s an awkward moment where we all look at each other. This is eerily reminiscent of when Doug and I were together and the four of us hung out.

  “I’m really sorry, Sam.” Marcus says, breaking the silence.

  I shake my head. “You have nothing to be sorry about.”

  “I do. I should’ve pushed the dumbass on his ass when he went in to kiss me that night.”

  “Thanks,” Doug smirks at his boyfriend.

  “You know I’m right.”

  I can’t help but stare at Marcus. I’ve known him since freshman year. He’s the captain of the swim team and plays attack on the lacrosse team. He’s cute, and has a rugged look about him. There isn’t one thing about his physical appearance that would hint toward him being gay.

  Except his manicured nails. And the guy’s eyebrows are perfect. They look better than mine. And his meticulously neat appearance when he’s not at practice or playing. His clothes don’t even wrinkle. How the hell is that even possible?

  “I just want you to know we weren’t screwing around behind your back.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “You expect me to believe after never touching Marcus, you looked at him, knew he was gay and decided to take a huge risk in kissing him in front of a shit ton of people? You’d have a better shot of me believing you’re Batman.”

  “I didn’t say we never kissed.” Doug breaks in. Nervous that other people might be listening, Doug looks around.

  “It sort of happened once before, but just the one time.” Marcus explains. “I don’t get calculus. Shit just doesn’t make sense to me.” Marcus looks embarrassed. “Doug helped me out before the final. I had to pass or I wouldn’t graduate.”

  “You don’t have to explain to me. I’m not mad at you, Marcus. I’m really not mad at either of you.”

  “I have to explain, Sam,” Doug takes over. “Because I really do care about you. I don’t want you to be hurt, and I feel like shit that you are. I still consider you a friend. At least I’d like for us to be friends.”

  I offer a fake smile, but Doug knows me well enough to see through it.

  “We only kissed one time.” Doug and Marcus exchange a look. It’s not a loving look, more like a troubled, nervous look. “We were studying at Marcus’ house,” Doug leans in and speaks in a low voice. “His parents weren’t home. We were hanging out in the back yard.”

  “We both had a few beers and we were talking about what it’s like to have to pretend to be something you’re not,” Marcus explains. “I was scared shit because here I am, a fucking jock with girls hanging off me and yet it always feels like something’s missing. I felt comfortable with Doug. I was curious and took a chance.”

  “Same here. What’s worse is while Marcus wasn’t serious about anyone, I had you, and I knew how lucky I was because you’re amazing and I enjoyed being with you. And it’s not like I wasn’t attracted to you. It’s just, something was missing.”

  “And yet you couldn’t tell me any of this in private, you had to do it in front of everyone?”

  Doug swallows and I could see he’s nervous about something. What more could he be nervous about?

  “You know who lives behind my house? Whose backyard is diagonal to mine?” Marcus asks.

  I shake my head, not sure why this is important.

  “Callie.” Marcus answers, and my stomach twists like it’s being put through a ringer. “She fucking saw us.”

  “We weren’t ready to come out,” Doug said. “Honestly, I’m not even a hundred percent sure where I’m at.”

  “Yeah and now everyone thinks we’re straight up gay.”

  “So? Again you could’ve said something to me and I would’ve wished you well and not told our entire graduating class.”

  “Except Callie threatened to tell everyone,” Marcus explains. “She strongly encouraged us to come out at the bonfire, and threatened if we didn’t, she’d out us and tell everyone there we’ve been fucking for months.”

  “And that was worse why?”

  “Because we were scared,” Doug admits.

  “We thought if we kissed and acted like we didn’t give a shit we’d have the power.”

  “That doesn’t make any sense. You played right into her hand.”

  “And what if we didn’t?” Marcus asks. “Then she spews her shit and everyone looks at you and whispers wondering if what they heard is true. Wondering if Doug is only using you to fool everyone into thinking he’s straight.”

  “They
think that anyway!” Are these guys for real? “You could’ve told me, warned me.” I reiterate, looking at my ex.

  “She said if I told you, she’d tell everyone that we’re covering for each other because you’re a lesbian and Abby’s your lover.”

  “Fucking bitch!” Abby lets out. “What did I ever do to her?”

  “Like I pissed in her soup? You’re my best friend. She hates you by extension.”

  “Well,” Marcus hems and haws. “I heard Hunter, her ex has been going around saying he dumped her because he wants to fuck you before he leaves for college.”

  “That’s crazy. I don’t even know him. And it’s not like I can control who someone else is attracted to. And if my brother catches wind of that, he’s going to beat the shit out of him.”

  “Look, Sam, I wanted you to know. I thought it was about gay shaming Marcus and me, but now I see this was all about hurting you. She hasn’t said two words to us since that night. And she looked so happy and full of herself when you ran off crying.” Doug explains.

  “But you being out of sight over the last month isn’t giving her the satisfaction she’s looking for,” Marcus warns.

  “How do you know that?”

  He shrugs. “I heard her asking around about the guy you’re seeing.”

  Abby gives me a questioning look with raised brows. I pretend not to see it.

  “So what I should parade around and act like I’m heartbroken to give Callie satisfaction?”

  “No, Sam. I’m doing what I should’ve done then, I’m being a friend and telling you the truth.” Doug looks sincere, and I know I should believe him. Maybe even thank him.

  “This way,” Marcus interjects. “You can watch your back.”

  I don’t say anything for what feels like hours. “Thanks guys, I appreciate it. I’m sure this wasn’t easy for you.”

  “I had an easier time telling my father I’m bi, than admitting all this to you,” Doug says.

  “Okay, if you excuse me,” I say, with a smile. A real one this time. “I have to go use the ladies room.” Doug gets out of the booth allowing me my escape.