Hate to Love You (Baker's Bunch Book 1)

by Lily Ryan

  I think my friend is going to sucker-punch me while my hands are full. Wouldn’t be the smartest thing for him to do. There might be fragile things in this box that would break if I dropped it. So far, he’s made no move. Done nothing to give me the impression that’s what he’s going to do.

  The punch comes once we enter her room, but it’s not from Tyler.

  Sam stands with her back to the door, by her dresser putting her clothes away. Standing behind her, caging her between his chest and the draws in front of her, and whispering in her ear is Zane.

  Fucking Zane!

  The sound of Sam’s giggle makes me weak. The box slips from my hands and lands on her bed. Bad enough all the times I’ve imagined them together in the last two weeks, this is so much worse. They really are together. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?

  “I’m here. I got you,” he whispers, loud enough for us all to hear, or at least loud enough for me to hear, and wraps his arms around her waist.

  I want to yell at him to get his damn hands off my girl, but I lost that right. And I wasted too much precious time, not talking to her.

  I look at Tyler for a clue, any hint as to how I should handle this. He doesn’t look happy and shakes his head. Does that mean he doesn’t approve, or he doesn’t want me to cause a scene? What the fuck does it mean?

  Zane turns his head slightly so that he could see me through the corner of his eye and gives a slight nod in my direction.

  “Hey,” he throws out, as if we’re friends. Like we could ever be friends while Sam is in his arms.

  “Hey,” I force out.

  Everyone is busy, Mr. Stone and Tyler set up Sam’s desk and arrange the area under her raised bed. Mrs. Stone hangs clothes in the closet. Meanwhile, Sam and Zane are being all cute and snuggly while she puts things away in the dresser. He pulls the clothes from her bag, she places them in the drawer. Everyone has a purpose here, except for me. I shouldn’t have come.

  The bitch of it is, I can’t escape. I can’t jump in my car and leave because I drove here with Mr. Stone. Just. Fucking. Great!

  I’m a hair away from losing my shit. I look all around, to avoid watching Sam and Zane. It’s hard to breathe with all the sugar in the air. I need to get out here.

  I focus on the untouched side of the room, in an effort to avoid the sickening couple in front of me. At the small closets. Over at Samantha’s bed, and that’s when I see it. My flicker of hope. The sleeve of my sweatshirt pokes out of the bag.

  She sleeps with my sweatshirt, not Zane’s. Her heart’s with me. I have a chance. I need to light the spark between us. The only shot of that happening is if I get her alone. Game on!

  “Hey, I saw a vending machine downstairs on the way in,” I say. “How about I go and get some water for everyone?”

  “That’s a great idea, Cole. I am a little parched.” Mrs. Stone is the only one to acknowledge me.

  Perfect.

  “I could use a little help, Sam?”

  “I’m busy. Zane, you go with him.”

  “Actually, with Cole gone, we can use the extra muscle here,” her father says.

  Way to go Mr. Stone!

  I drop my head, shove my hands in my pockets and work to hide my smile. There’s something to be said about a family alliance. He’s pulling for me and once I get back into Sam’s good graces, I can return the favor. Tyler’s the question, but after finding Zane in the room with Sam, I think I understand why he told me not to come.

  We don’t speak as we head down the hall. We barely walk together. She quickens her steps, trying to outpace me. Not a chance. I extend my stride. She runs down the steps, preventing me from starting a conversation there either.

  My heart races, my nerves get the best of me. I can’t unravel, and I can’t let her see the internal frenzy I’m in. I have to make this work. This is the opportunity I wanted. The one I’ve been waiting for all day. I can’t let it slip away because if I do, I may not get another one.

  I pull my wallet out of my back pocket and glance at Sam. She’s looking all around with her arms crossed over her chest. I grab a ten dollar bill and feed it into the machine.

  “How many bottles do you think? One for everyone?” I ask.

  “I don’t give a fuck,” she answers, finally meeting my stare.

  Our eyes meet and lock. I pull in a long breath. I miss looking into her eyes. Today the green color’s deeper than usual. Darker.

  I could almost see the smoke coming out of her nose she’s so mad. Her anger doesn’t mar her beauty, though. Not in the slightest. My gaze drops to her lips. Her ruby red lips. Pouty and kissable. I feel a twitch in my pants. I need to stay focused.

  “I miss you, princess.” My voice is heavy with emotion.

  She shoots daggers at me.

  “I’m not your princess!”

  I step closer to her, invading her personal space and cup her cheek. Her skin is every bit as soft as I remember. My lips part, longing to taste hers. Touching her sends the same warmth through my body it did a couple of weeks ago. But I need to keep myself under control. This wouldn’t feel so right if we were wrong for each other.

  I’m not the only one feeling a tidal wave of emotion. Sam’s so stunned by my action she doesn’t move. She stands there, frozen, staring at me, her beautiful green eyes shining. I take advantage of her stupor to reach my hand around the back of her neck.

  I feel her relax as she melts into my touch. I lean in and whisper in her ear before placing a long, lingering kiss on her cheek.

  “You’ll always be my princess.”

  Her lack of movement paired with the hitch in her breathing give her away.

  I won this round.

  Chapter 18

  Samantha

  “Don’t touch me!” I shove Cole, but he doesn’t move. Instead he grasps my wrists, and pulls me close, until his arms wrap around my waist and his warm, minty breath is on my lips. I want to keep pushing him away, but once my palms are flush against his hard chest, I stop fighting.

  My eyes drop to his mouth. Yearnings I haven’t felt in weeks wake and stir inside me. I struggle to keep from kissing him.

  “I’m sorry, Sam.” His front teeth sink into his bottom lip as he searches my face. I try to look away, but he doesn’t let me. If I move my head to the left, he moves his too, and stays too close to my face, and in my line of sight.

  “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I didn’t take you out, or let you tell your friends about us. I wish I could do it over again. I’d introduce you to my parents not as Tyler’s sister, but as my girl. As the girl I love.”

  His words are rushed and they don’t make sense because I’m too busy fighting an internal battle over kissing him, to process what he’s saying.

  “I’m sorry for all of it. For not realizing I hurt you from the beginning. But the one thing you need to know, that you have to believe, is that I didn’t cheat on you. In all the ways I hurt you without realizing it, I’d never purposely do that.” His blue eyes are stern, serious. “Never. And what ever happened between you and Zane, it’s okay.” he swallows hard, his chest rising and falling before he speaks again. “I forgive you.”

  This snaps me out of the spell Cole and his damn blue eyes have on me. He’ll forgive me?

  “Fuck you!”

  He doesn’t expect this outburst and this time when I push him away, he releases his hold on me and stumbles back.

  “I thought we were here for water.”

  Cole looks stunned. His mouth is open and his brows furrow as he looks at me.

  “Yeah, right. Water.”

  He presses the button choosing a bottle of water. One falls down into the open slot on the bottom of the machine. He picks it up and hands it to me. Our fingers brush against each other, and I shudder.

  My body remembers his touch. Craves it.

  My nipples harden beneath my clothes, yearning for a touch that’s never going to come. A touch I can’t allow.

  He repeats the
process. Only this time I reach for the bottle before he can, to avoid physical contact and keep my wits about me. I gather five bottles in my arms and leave the last for Cole. He could carry his own damn bottle.

  “Sam, wait!” he calls.

  I stop and close my eyes for a heartbeat. I wish he had a clue how difficult he’s making this on me. I’m sure as shit not going to be the one to tell him. But I’d like him to back off. I ignore Cole and start walking again.

  “Sam,” he says, rushing to get a step ahead of me and then turning around and blocking my path. “These were sent to me, anonymously.”

  He turns his phone around so that the display faces me. My mouth drops, right along with my stomach as he swipes the screen and shows me picture after picture. They’re of us fucking in Cole’s car. I can’t believe he has these. What a pervert! I want to snatch the phone away from him, but my hands are full at the moment.

  “Cole!” I scold. “What the fuck!?” I ask looking around frantically to see if anyone is looking. Thankfully no one is. Yet. But this isn’t the first impression I want to give my new dorm mates. Especially the guys. “Put that away!”

  He nods, and shoves his phone in his pocket. “Callie had these. Only I didn’t know it was her. I thought it was a guy that contacted me and threatened to post them everywhere. Send them to everyone you knew. He set up a meeting at Frozen Delights and said the deal was off unless I brought your brother. It was Callie. I never laid eyes on her before that. For your brother’s benefit she acted like we were a couple. She knew I’d go along with it because she was holding these over my head. I went to call and give you a heads up.”

  “Except you never did.”

  Pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, he shakes his head. “I tried. I got up to go to the bathroom. That’s when she kissed me. She must’ve seen you.” His eyes fall to the ugly gray tile floor. “Sam, I’m so sorry.”

  Tears fill my eyes. I don’t know what to do or what to believe.

  “It doesn’t matter. Things are different now.”

  Not what Cole wants to hear. His left eye twitches. “Not that different. My feelings for you haven’t changed.”

  I shake my head and look off to the side. He doesn’t know what I did. How bad things got that night with Hunter. How Zane stepped in and saved me. If he did, he’d hate me.

  “Mine have,” I lie. “I can’t . . .” I search for something believable, but come up short. “I hate you.”

  “I don’t believe that. You don’t even sound like you believe it.”

  Tears sting my eyes. He’s right. I don’t. I can’t let him know how I feel. I need to shove these feelings down deep where they’ll never see the light of day. I won’t allow myself to fall into his arms and cry. That made me weak. Gullible. I gave him all I had, heart, body and soul. Not again. Not ever again.

  “I think you’re afraid, Sam. The truth is, so am I, but not for the reasons I was afraid before. I’m not afraid of anyone finding out. I want the world to know. I’m not afraid of your father banning me from seeing you. You’re out of the house and for that matter, so is he. I’m not afraid of ruining my friendship with Tyler. Somehow, through all this we’re still friends. He knows how I feel about you, so we’re good. Solid. What I’m afraid of now, is you walking away without giving me another chance.”

  I shake my head and look away. I’ll lose my resolve if I keep my eyes on him. Cole steps closer. I don’t know if he could see my resolve crumble with every word he says, but it does. If he keeps the pressure up I’ll crack for sure.

  “The truth is, Sam, I never felt this way about anyone, and I’m afraid I never will again. Give me another chance. I promise, I’ll do better.”

  “I’m sorry, Cole. I can’t.” I move around him before he could stop me and keep going until I’m back in my room. Back with Zane. Back to pretending Cole Andrews is out of my system.

  Chapter 19

  Cole

  I turn the engine off and wipe my palms on my jeans. I don’t know the last time my nerves had me sweating like this. I hoped to hear from Sam after I helped move her in, but there’s been radio silence. Not even a reaction when I admitted I loved her. Nothing.

  I pick the rose up off the passenger seat and bring it to my nose. I don’t know what compels me to smell it, but I want to make sure it hasn’t lost its scent on the way over. It’s not much, just a little something for Sam. Providing she doesn’t slam the door in my face.

  So far so good. Everything’s going according to plan. After checking my ID, the guard at the gate lets me in. The best part is Sam’s none the wiser. I gave her roommate’s name along with their room number. Charlotte called down and gave security a heads up that I’d be coming.

  I owe Tyler big for this one. He acted as the go between for Charlotte and me. Even though she showed up right before Mr. Stone and I headed back home, I had the opportunity of meeting her and witnessing the skyrockets that took off between her and Zane.

  No doubt Charlotte agreed to help me out because she’s got her eyes on a prize of her own, Zane. And I hope like hell she snags him. Not that I want Sam to be hurt, but she belongs with me, not him.

  Sam can deny it all she wants, but she still wants me. I saw it in her eyes. In the way she reacted when we touched. The sparks and heat are still there, and I have no intention of letting them die.

  Charlotte waits at the dormitory entrance to let me in the building.

  “Aww, a rose!” She says leaning in and giving me a hug. “How sweet.”

  “Thanks.” I answer. “She still in the room?”

  “She was as of a minute ago when I came down to let your ass in.”

  I nod. “Got ya.”

  Charlotte pulls her phone out and looks at the time. “You have an hour to yourselves. I’m heading over to the cafeteria for dinner. After that, no promises.”

  “Okay.” Charlotte steps around me. “Wait!” I reach for her arm, not ready to let her go. “Does Sam talk about me at all?”

  She shakes her head. “Sorry.”

  Bummer. “It’s okay. Thanks. For everything.”

  I keep my head up as I climb the stairs, wondering if I made a mistake coming here. Over a month passed since we were together. And it’s been even longer since we were intimate. What if I’m wrong? If I’m seeing what I want instead of what’s really there? Wouldn’t she have called me, texted me, acknowledge I exist if she missed me at all?

  Suddenly this great idea of mine doesn’t seem so wonderful. What if she really does have feelings for Zane? Or worse, someone else? Tyler swears she doesn’t, but she didn’t exactly tell her brother the truth about us, so it’s possible she’s lying to him. Maybe even to herself.

  The door to her room is open. I breathe out a sigh of relief. This takes slamming the door in my face or not answering it at all out of the equation.

  Sam doesn’t see me as I approach. She’s sitting cross-legged on her bed, nose deep in a book. Her hair looks longer as it hangs down and frames her beautiful face. Courage swells in my chest when I recognize the sweatshirt she has on. It’s mine.

  I take a deep breath as I step inside and knock on the open door. I hold the rose up so it’s the first thing she sees.

  Sam’s eyes shoot up. She’s stunned and blinks hard a few times before her beautiful green orbs widen in disbelief.

  “Cole?”

  I smirk, leaning against the doorjamb. She could say she’s over me all she wants, but she’s wearing my sweatshirt, and that proves it’s not true.

  “Nice sweatshirt.” I say, calling her out.

  She twists her face at me. Good, I caught her off guard.

  “Just say the word and you can replace it with me.”

  She stares without speaking. Her eyes soak me in from head to toe. They rake over my body slow and deliberate. I fight the urge to rush to her with every ounce of willpower I have. If I come on too strong, I’ll scare her off.

  “I’m wearing this stupid thing because I’
m cold. It’s the first thing I grabbed. My mother must have thrown it in my bag because I didn’t even pack it.” Her eyes drop to floor.

  She’s straight up lying. Ok. I can live with that for now.

  “What are you doing here? Don’t you have somewhere better to be?”

  I run my hand through my hair and push my nerves back down in my belly.

  “There’s nowhere I’d rather be than with you.”

  Sam opens her mouth and pretends to stick her middle finger down her throat like she’s gagging. Great, Sarcastic, bitchy Sam. I guess I didn’t make as much progress with her as I thought. Either that or she’s set on keeping me at a distance. This calls for plan B.

  I don’t wait for an invitation, mostly because I don’t trust one will be extended. I sit on the bed next to her and hand her the rose. “Peace offering.”

  Sam’s hesitant in accepting it, but eventually reaches out and takes it from me.

  “Really, what are you doing here?”

  “I sort of need your help.”

  “I’m listening,” she narrows her eyes at me. Her voice sounds as uncertain as her eyes look.

  “I’m not sure if I mentioned it or not, but my boss’s wife is battling breast cancer.” No response. “Traditional treatment isn’t working, so they’re going to try some new experimental procedure,” I ramble. “It’s really expensive and insurance doesn’t cover it, so they’re throwing a big gala event to raise money to help pay for it. It’s a black tie event with dinner and dancing, and a Chinese auction.”

  “Okay?”

  “A lot of people from the office are going, and we’re all expected to bring a guest.” The look of indifference on her face is killing me. I massage the tension out of the back of my neck. I knew there was a possibility she’d say no before I came, but this is straight up self masochism. I’d rather jump through a meat grinder and call it a day.

  “Your point?”

  “I’d like you to come as my d—”

  She shakes her head, reaches out and places her middle and pointer fingers over my lips to shut me up. I cover her hand and hold her fingers there. With my eyes closed, I pull them into my mouth and use my tongue to give them a massage.