Hate to Love You (Baker's Bunch Book 1)

by Lily Ryan

  She leans into me the tiniest bit. I hear a hitch in her breathing, before she snatches her hand away. “Eww,” she makes a disgusted face as she wipes her fingers on her leg. “It’s not a good idea.” She keeps her eyes downcast.

  “Why not?” I crook my index finger under her chin to tilt her head up. And encourage her to look at me.

  “You know why not. Besides, I’m sure you’ve got a long line of girls—”

  “Stop.” I blow out a frustrated breath. “Don’t you get it Sam? I’m here because I want to go with you. I don’t want anyone else.”

  I scoot over, inching closer to her. My thigh touches her calf. Our body heat meshes and it’s like two giant magnetics coming together. I’m compelled to touch her. I reach one hand around the bottom of Sam’s neck and weave my fingers into the base of her hair. I can’t be certain about what she’s feeling, but my pulse kicks up a few gears.

  “Do you really want me to go with someone else?” I whisper, close to her ear. “Show up with another girl on my arm?” I look deep in her eyes, my lips a hair away from hers. “Touch her.” I palace my other hand on the top inside of her thigh. “Hold her close, have her pressed up against me. All night.”

  “No!” She shakes her head and for the first time in forever, Sam reaches out for me. She takes hold of my shirt, clenching it tight between her fingers. Neither of us move, or say anything. I’m not even sure either of us breathe.

  I keep my eyes glued on the goddess in front of me. She’s even more beautiful than she was last time I saw her. What took me so long to come force her hand? Sam’s Jade colored eyes stare back at me with hunger and desire. This is a welcome change from the anger and hate living in them the last few times we saw each other. Forever passes before either of us move.

  I take advantage of the warmth emanating from her and pull her to my chest. I breathe her in. Sam doesn’t fight or push me away. Instead, she clings to me as if I’m oxygen and she’s down to her last breath.

  I feel accomplished. I broke through the armor encasing her heart. My self-control unravels. I hold her head with both hands and lock our gaze before crushing my mouth down on her. My goal was to get her to say yes. Holding her, kissing her like this, I hit the jackpot.

  Need pulses through my body. Wakes parts of me I want to keep in hibernation for the moment. Frenzied, my mouth moves over the skin of her neck. Her hand slides over the bulge straining against my pants. Allowing myself a bit of indulgence I fill my hands with her tits. Her back arches toward my touch as I squeeze and play with her nipples.

  “Cole.” My name leaves her lips in a breathless whisper.

  That’s it. I’m undone.

  With my hand on her back, I guide her down on her bed and climb on top of her. Sam’s legs wrap around me. My hips press into her. She moans, sliding my shirt up. All I can think about is feeling her soft, naked body beneath me. Around me. Her sweet, tight pussy hugging my cock.

  I’m transported to that rainy August night that started it all. We’re rain soaked on the floor of her clubhouse. Need and desire perfume the air around us. This is my opportunity to go back and right all the wrongs.

  “Yes, Cole!”

  She’s the only person I ever want to hear call my name out like this. She’s. Everything I want. Everything.

  Sam lifts the hem of my shirt and the sensation of deja-vu is too strong. I need to do this right. I can’t fuck this up again.

  I pull my head back and lean my forehead against hers. I still can’t think straight. Distance. I need more distance or else just like that night, we’ll pick up where we left off and go too far. I turn and sit with my legs hanging over the side of the bed, forcing physical separation.

  “Cole?” She places her hand on my shoulder, sitting up next to me. “It’s just sex. We’ve done it before.”

  I shake my head, “No, princess. It’s not just sex. It’s a whole lot more.”

  “It’s really not. At least not for me.” She shakes her head, stands and walks over to her desk. A deep chill fills the space between us.

  “Bullshit.” I follow her and get in her face. “You still have feelings for me. I felt it just now, and I know you did too.”

  “No, Cole. Do I want to have sex with you? Yes. You make my body feel things no one else does.” I nibble on the side of my mouth. She’s throwing Zane in my face. If that’s the way she wants to play it, I’m game.

  “Good.” I reach out and rub my thumb along her bottom lip. “As long as you know who owns your body.”

  “No one owns my body but me.”

  I press on her lip causing it to fall open. “So you cum for him the way you do for me?” She sucks in a breath. “As hard? You give yourself over as completely? And soak his dick with cum?”

  She juts her chin out toward me. “Maybe.”

  I take a shot, I call her bluff. “Liar.”

  “Hey, I’m not the one that just put an end to everything.” She changes the subject.

  I take her hands in mine and meet her lips again. She barely responds. She doesn’t look to hold me. She barely touches me. This kiss is a lot cooler than what just went down on the bed.

  She’s measured. Controlled. A lot like she was after we had sex the first time. I hold her chin between my thumb and forefinger.

  “I’m not about to fuck this up, Sam. No matter how much you want me to.”

  “That doesn’t even make sense. Why would I want that? I just want us to both take what we want.” She runs her hands over my chest and looks up at me through her dark, thick lashes. Her hand trails down my stomach, below the waistband of my pants. She stops at my rock hard cock and squeezes. Sam leans in and kisses my neck. “You want to fuck me, Cole. I know you do. So do it. Fuck me.”

  I grab her wrists and pull her against me. “Nothing in the world feels as good as being inside you. But it’s not going to happen tonight. You want another go round, come to the gala with me.”

  She shakes her head. Her eyes fill with tears and I’m not sure why. “No.”

  “Why the hell not?” I raise my voice. I don’t understand what the fuck is going on with her.

  “Because as long as it’s just sex and there are no expectations, I won’t get hurt. I won’t think about us as anything more. I won’t imagine some happily ever after. If it’s just sex I can keep my emotions in check. Because honestly, Cole, I don’t want to feel anything for you ever again.”

  Her words are hundreds of sharp blades striking my heart.

  “That’s the biggest load of bull I’ve ever heard.” I hold her face in my hands and look long and hard into her sad eyes. “You already have feelings for me. And I have feelings for you. That’s what makes everything so amazing. Sex isn’t going to weaken those feelings. It’ll make them stronger because you’re in my heart, Sam. And I’m in yours. I messed up. I didn’t treat you right. I can do better, princess. Let me.”

  The tears turn into sobs. Now we’re getting somewhere.

  “No. Getting over you was so hard. And it hurt so much. I don’t want to have to do that again.”

  I hate that she’s hurting this bad, but I’m hurting right along with her. And she’s not over me. She’s pretending. I need her to see, to trust that it doesn’t have to be like this. That cutting me off is the problem, not the solution. My lips are drawn to her mouth. This time the kiss is sweet and tender. She holds me tight.

  “One night,” I whisper. “That’s all I’m asking for. If you want to walk away at the end of that night, I won’t bother you anymore.”

  “Do you mean it?”

  I nod. “But if it goes well, and we still feel like this, you give us a chance. A real chance.”

  She looks off to the side for a moment. “I don’t know.”

  “Take a chance. I won’t let you down.”

  “When is it?”

  “Two weeks from Friday.”

  “If you change your mind—” I cut her off with a kiss. My favorite way to shut her up.

&nb
sp; “My mind won’t change.”

  We stare at each other, neither of us ready to make a move, until she gives the tiniest nod of her head.

  “Okay, I’ll come.”

  “Good.” I take her hand and lead her back to the bed. I lie down, stretch my legs out, and pull her down next to me.

  “What are you doing?” She asks.

  “It’s been a long time since we talked. So how about you talk, and I listen.”

  “About?”

  “Anything. School. Your roommate. Anything that comes to mind. I want to hear it all.”

  “How long do you have?”

  “Until you’re finished.”

  Chapter 20

  Samantha

  “OMG! You look amazing!”

  “Thank you!” I spin around in front of my camera again for Abby to see the complete picture.

  “I can’t believe he got Tyler to help him.”

  “Tell me about it. I almost passed out when Ty came with a pre-paid credit card to escort me dress shopping and then to have my hair, nails and make up done.”

  “So he convinced your brother and your roommate to help him. Can you say full court press?”

  “More like trying too hard.” I’m quick to dismiss giving Cole an ounce of credit.

  “I wish someone would go through this much trouble for me. It sounds super romantic.”

  “You’re not helping Abs. You’re supposed to be reminding me of all the reasons I shouldn’t be going out with him. You were there, you saw how I unraveled when he was with Callie.”

  “Just for the record, he never really was with Callie or Tyler would have his ass in a sling. And if you had been honest I would’ve been right by your side that night and I wouldn’t have let you drink so much, or left you alone with Hunter.”

  “I know.” I sit down at my desk. “I’m sorry. Cole didn’t want anyone to know, and by the time it all came down, I was too hurt and embarrassed to tell you the truth. All I wanted to do was hurt him. See, this just proves this is a dumb idea. I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough.”

  “You’re very strong. Besides, have you looked in the mirror? You’re going to take his breath away.”

  “I don’t know if that’s such a good thing.”

  “Sam, this took a lot of effort on his part. It sounds like he’s trying to make this special. Just enjoy it.”

  “I know. He’s been,” I examine my newly manicured nails as I search for the words. “Infuriatingly sweet. Calling, sending messages every night, even when I don’t answer back.”

  “Then maybe you should give Cole a chance.”

  I have a funny tightening in my chest at the sound of his name. The same funny feeling I had up until a few weeks ago. This is bad. No, it’s beyond bad, it’s downright terrifying.

  The knock at my door has me scrambling to hang up.

  “Oh come on, don’t I get to see his reaction when he sees you?”

  “I don’t think that’s what Cole wants.”

  “Don’t you get it, you’re calling the shots now.”

  I nod. She has a point. Besides, this is a good little test for him. If he has a problem saying a quick hello to Abby, then nothing has changed.

  I pull the door open and stare in a silent stupor. My eyes flutter, I think I'm going to fall backwards.

  He’s gorgeous! He usually knocks me off my feet, but in his black suit and bow tie, I wasn’t prepared for this. His wavy hair that usually sits in an unruly mess of dark curls is neatly combed and parted to the side. He’s by far the most handsome man I’ve ever seen.

  I can’t speak. My brain is actual mush; like I have a giant hand inside my head kneading and massaging it, leaving me unable to function. It's not right for him to go look this good. Once we walk into the room, all eyes will be on him. I’m flooded with feelings of insecurity. With just a look, everyone will know he’s out of my league.

  “Hi,” he says, with a smile, his eyes shining.

  I swallow hard, searching for something to say to get rid of the nervous energy running through me.

  “Did you forget about me?” Abby’s voice rings out.

  “I hope you don’t mind,” I say, still awed by Cole. “Abby wants to have a peek at you all dressed up.”

  “Hey, Allie,” he smiles, leaning into the camera.

  “Abby!” I bump his shoulder with mine.

  Cole laughs it off. “Sorry, Abby, but we have to get going. She won’t have a chance to talk to you for a few days. But don’t worry. I’ll make sure she sends a text here and there, and I promise to take good care of her.”

  “A few days! We agreed to one night.” I say, outraged.

  His smile widens. “I plan on you having such a good time, you’ll agree to be mine for the weekend.”

  “We agreed to tonight.”

  Cole looks down at his watch. “C’mon, it’s time to go.”

  *

  Cole looks at me with the same intense longing I’ve seen in his eyes since he picked me up. Every touch lasts a moment too long. Every look smolders, bringing color to my cheeks, as he pairs a look with a stroke of my exposed skin.

  Cole inches in a bit closer as we move in perfect precision to the music, slow music that seems to want to keep us on the dance floor, locked in each other’s arms. I want to taste the sweet warmth of his delicious lips.

  His hand crawls from the top of my back down to the bottom, pressing me against him. My body tingles everywhere, my insides quiver. He knows what he’s doing, that he’s creating a fierce desire inside me. That’s what he’s counting on.

  In an attempt to escape the piercing look in his deep blue eyes I lean into his chest, and rest my head against him. The familiar scent of his cologne comforts me, but only for a moment before it feeds the growing fire burning deep inside.

  I want him. More than ever.

  Each beat of my heart, every breath brings me closer to succumbing to this unyielding desire. Every sweet caress only serves to prove we belong together. No matter how I try to convince myself that we’ll only end up hurting each other in the end, I keep getting lost in the pleasure the present promises. And I know Cole promises exhilarating heights of pleasure.

  A soft moan passes his lips, and I hold him tighter, revel in the warmth of his hard body. My fingers dig into the defined muscles beneath his clothes. I know I don’t have the strength to fight the cataclysmic pull that keeps me drawn to him, that keeps me unable to move out of his arms.

  I look around the large, dimly lit room, but only for a few seconds. I don’t care about anything else in here, not the decorations, or the people Cole works with. The only thing I want, the only thing I could wrap my brain around is Cole. Cole’s ocean blue eyes and award winning smile. The feel of his arms holding me against him. The fresh clean smell that hangs on him no matter the time of day or night.

  “I’ve missed you so much,” he whispers. His breath tickles my ear.

  I give myself the benefit of the doubt thinking I could chance a look in his eyes and not be captivated by their intensity. I’m wrong.

  His eyes smolder, and I’m lost.

  “I’ve missed you, too.”

  He leans in, dips his head and presses his lips against mine. Finally! They’re soft and warm, as always. I don’t pull away. I want more. Much more. My mouth opens, inviting him in as my hips press against his.

  My heart beats fast and fluttery. I want this kiss. Wanted it since he picked me up. Our tongues swirl in unison and there’s power in this kiss. Pure, live energy threading us together. Connecting us. I’m dizzy when he pulls away. All I want is to pull his mouth back to me. But I can’t, because we’re in public. We can’t make spectacle out of ourselves.

  Reality settles in. Cole kissed me! Kissed me in front of a room full of people. He kissed me for everyone to see. Sweet and gentle. Like I mean something to him. I’m hit with a wall of emotion. It’s a strange, foreign, feeling, that’s so strong it scares the living daylights out of me.r />
  His eyes trail from my head down. All the way down. I don’t miss how they hesitate at the neckline of my dress. The longing in his eyes along with his very public show of affection has my toes curling.

  “Do you feel that?” He brings his mouth beside my ear and speaks in a soft velvety tone. “Your pulse racing, the swirling of your stomach?” I don’t answer. I feel that and so much more I don’t even know how to describe it. “Do you feel the heat between us? It’s a fire burning wild and out of control. It’s getting bigger and hotter by the minute.”

  He kisses me again. This time there’s hunger and need in his kiss. One hand gets lost in my hair, the fingers on the other hand press into my flesh. He wants more. He wants all of me, and I want to give in, give him everything. I swallow hard, still delusional that I have an ounce of control over what I’m doing or where things are leading.

  “This is how it could be, Sam. How it should have been the first time. Give me a second chance. Let me prove to you that you’re my princess.”

  That’s the final straw. I’m done fighting to keep away from him. I’m ready to give in to the man that knows my body in ways no one else does. To the man that owns my heart. He strokes my hair, waiting for my response.

  “Okay. You win. You have your second chance.” I answer, hoping to hide the fact that I’m a prisoner to his every whim.

  Chapter 21

  Cole

  “I want you so bad it hurts,” I manage to get out between kisses.

  Honestly I don’t know how the fuck I drove home with this raging hard on. But I sure as shit wasn’t going to fuck her in the car.

  The second the door closes behind us, and we’re down the steps, my lips are on her. I know the spot that drives her crazy, and I’m not above exploiting it to get what I want.

  Sam’s finds my bulge and runs her hand over my length while I take greedy handfuls of her breasts. My chest heaves as my tongue slides up the side of her neck. Her fingers pull at my hair, and she moans my name. I grab her wrists and hold them up against the wall behind her as I grind my rock hard cock into her.