All of Me

by Emily Smith

  Rowan rolled on top of Galen, keeping her lips just out of reach. “If this is your sad way of fishing for compliments about your crazy skills in bed, it’s not happening. And, even more so, if this is the ‘are you freaking out about your sexuality’ talk, then spare me that too. No part of me is freaking out. Everything about last night was amazing.”

  “Is that right?” Galen grinned and kissed her, the warmth and the need Rowan had felt the night before seeping back in.

  “Yes.” Rowan pulled away from the kiss. “And no way in hell am I stroking that finely tuned ego of yours anymore by telling you what a savage you are between the sheets.”

  “You don’t need to. Your little grunts and groans said it all.”

  “Ugh.” Rowan shoved her palms against Galen’s chest and sat up. “You’re a pig. Did you know that?”

  “You know underneath all of this gusto is just an insecure little kid waiting to get out, right?”

  A grave silence fell between them, until Rowan broke it with a string of furious laughter. “Yeah! Okay.”

  “I’m going to have my hands full with you, aren’t I, Duncan?”

  Rowan smiled and moved closer to her, brushing the tip of her index finger along Galen’s bottom lip and trying hard not to tremble when Galen sucked it into her mouth and gently bit down. “I sure hope so, Dr. Burgess. I sure hope so.”

  * * *

  Once Rowan had gone to shower and start her day at the hospital, Galen headed home. She needed to feed the dog, change clothes, and get a couple of hours’ sleep. She also needed a little space from Rowan. Galen had heard stories about girls falling in love after one romp in bed and knew about the supposed biological urge women have to nest after sex. But she’d never believed it. Not until now, at least.

  After she’d left Rowan’s side early that morning, she felt like every cheesy love song she’d ever scoffed at on the radio. She constantly replayed that night over and over again, starting with the way Rowan had grabbed her around the back of her neck when she kissed her in the hallway, like she had to have her right then and there or she’d explode, to the way Rowan felt when she held her as they talked about Galen’s family. With every replay, she felt the same Ferris wheel turning in her stomach. It was addicting. Galen had never done drugs, but she imagined this was what it was like.

  By the time she got home, she was wide awake. Sleep would probably be impossible, so she strapped on her running shoes and went out into the early fall air, the crisp breeze distracting her. Three miles later, she was still thinking about Rowan. And by mile four, she gave up and went back to her apartment. After a long, hot shower, which probably should have been cold, she made a pot of coffee and poured some into a travel mug. For a few seconds, she stared at the mug, then pulled a second from the cupboard and filled it. She added cream until it was nearly white and followed with several heaping spoonfuls of sugar. Both mugs teetering in her hand, she called a car and headed back to the hospital. When she arrived, she left the coffee in her office and went off to the surgeons’ lounge, where she knew Rowan would be studying for her next case.

  “Rowan, can I see you in my office a second?” Galen tried her best to keep her voice even, but she realized it had just come out sounding stern.

  “Ohhh. Someone’s in trouble.” Teddy, who was sitting across the room in an oversized chair stuffing his face with a pastry, had chimed in. Makayla and one of the other junior residents sat next to Rowan. For the blatant loudmouth she was, Makayla was unsettlingly quiet.

  Without a word, Rowan stood and left the room, following silently until they reached her office and shut the door.

  “What are you doing?” Rowan asked, sounding anxious.

  “Relax.” Galen smiled and handed her the coffee. “I brought you some coffee. French press. Way better than that cafeteria trash.”

  Rowan’s defense melted, and she pushed the door shut the remaining few inches, wrapped her arms around Galen’s neck, and kissed her until Galen had to lean against her desk for strength. “Thank you,” Rowan said, once she finally pulled back.

  “That was…unexpected.” Galen kissed her again, more quickly this time, but kept her firm hold on Rowan’s hips.

  “What? Just because I don’t want Teddy and Blabbermouth in there knowing about us doesn’t mean this isn’t happening.”

  “So…this is happening, then?” Galen’s heart raced, and all those cheesy love songs rolled along on repeat in her brain.

  “Yes, Galen.” Rowan stroked Galen’s cheek with the backs of her fingers. “This is happening. So you better figure out how to deal with it.”

  “I think I can manage. Honestly, Ro, I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s annoying, actually.” She laughed.

  “I know the feeling. But what do we do about it?”

  “Today? I just want to feel exactly what I’m feeling. Tomorrow, we can figure everything else out.”

  Rowan’s eyes lit up, and she pulled Galen closer. Tomorrow, they would figure out the details. But this moment? This was all theirs.

  Chapter Fourteen

  It was a small risk to assume Galen wanted to see her later that evening. But Rowan went to Galen’s office after her last case of that day anyway.

  “Can I come in?”

  Galen sat hunched over some paper charts, a tiny cup of espresso in hand. She brightened immediately when she looked up. “Always.”

  “How many of those have you had today, anyway?” Rowan said, teasing her.

  “This is my sixth. What are you, nagging me already?” Galen smiled. “Besides, it’s slightly safer than whiskey, and I won’t lose my job for operating under the influence of caffeine. You want one?”

  “Do you even have to ask?”

  Galen’s eyes were coy and mischievous, and Rowan had already figured out what that look meant. She gestured with one finger for Rowan to come closer. No part of Rowan wanted to protest, so she took a couple of steps nearer until she was standing over her.

  “Hi…” Rowan said.

  “Hi, yourself.”

  Rowan almost didn’t recognize herself as she spread her legs and straddled Galen’s lap, kissing her neck as Galen’s hands found their way to her hair. She wasn’t sure when she’d become so bold, so liberated. But she was thrilled. “You don’t mind me dropping in like this?”

  “Mind? Are you kidding? I’m ecstatic.” Galen weaved her arms around Rowan’s waist and pulled herself into her until she was resting her head on Rowan’s chest. “Actually, I kind of missed you today.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yes. Again, I find that fact so incredibly annoying.”

  “I missed you too.” Rowan kissed her cheek. “How was the day?”

  “Pretty standard. That lady with the ascending cholangitis is doing fine now. Her LFTs are down, and so is her white count.”

  “You know, it’s really sexy when you talk about medicine.”

  Galen’s cheeks colored a little, and she bit her lower lip in a suppressed grin. “You think so, huh?”

  “Oh, yes.” Still fully in Galen’s lap, Rowan took Galen’s face in her hands and kissed her with the same need she’d had the night before. “Wait.” She pulled away abruptly. “Are we becoming those people I hate?”

  Galen looked confused. “Which people are those?”

  “You know! Those people. The gross ones who gush about each other constantly and can’t stop making out. The ones I want to punch.”

  “What? No way. We are so not like that…Okay. Maybe we’re a little like that. But at least it’s not in front of anyone, right? Besides, I like being gross with you.” She kissed Rowan again, feeling some of Rowan’s panic and discomfort ease.

  “I like being gross with you too. And I suppose, as long as no one’s around to see it, it’s fine. Right?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Good. When do you think you’ll be done tonight?” Rowan didn’t want to sound too presumptuous, but she hoped she could manage to see Galen a
gain. She realized fully that she was acting like a crazy person. She’d just spent the previous night with her. And the following morning. It would be insanity to spend another night with her. But it was all she wanted.

  “You know what?” Galen straightened, and her eyebrows jumped a little. “I’m done right now. I mean, I’m never really done. I have four cases tomorrow I could always read up on and fifteen post-ops I should check on. And a million other things on my to-do list. But you know what I want to do more than anything right now?”

  “What’s that, Dr. Burgess?”

  “I want to take you on a proper date.”

  “I’ve heard your idea of a proper date consists of a quick fuck on this desk right here. Not that I’d necessarily mind that.”

  “Oh my God! Did you just swear?” Galen pressed her hand against her chest dramatically.

  “I’m not quite the good girl you think I am, you know.” Rowan ground her hips into Galen’s and teased Galen’s neck with her tongue until Galen’s breathing was fast and heavy and her eyes were glassing over.

  “I think I’m starting to believe that.”

  “Good. Now, about this date. What did you have in mind?” Rowan smiled, pleased at the power she seemed to have over Galen. It was both exciting and comforting to know that someone she wanted so badly could want her so much in return.

  “Dinner. And then maybe I’ll take you up on your version of my dates.” Galen winked.

  “Maybe?” Rowan kissed her, her lips just a whisper against Galen’s at first, until the kiss built into a tug-of-war of resilience and sheer will, both of them taking exactly what they needed without fully submitting.

  “Okay, yes. Yes, you can have me if you want. Anywhere, anytime,” Galen finally said, laughing joyfully.

  “That’s better. And I’d love to have dinner. But I need to go home and clean up first.”

  “Great. How about Porto?”

  “Honestly, my experience of the Boston-area cuisine has been limited to the sushi place down the street from my apartment and the cafeteria chicken fingers.” Rowan briefly worried that her humble Texas upbringing couldn’t match wits with the money and sophistication of the Burgess legacy. But then Galen took her hand and ran her thumb gently over the top, easing any fear Rowan might have been harboring. Their backgrounds were different, that was true. But their paths had led them to the same place. And Rowan, always the fatalist, was finding it hard to believe that was a coincidence.

  “You’ll love it. It’s Jody Adams’s place. She’s a family friend, so I’m sure I can get us a table.”

  “Are you showing off for me? Because your money and power largely unimpress me.”

  Galen pretended to look hurt. “Guess I’ll just have to rely on my good looks and intelligence to win you over.”

  “Pick me up in an hour.” Rowan kissed her chin, physically forcing herself to untangle herself from Galen.

  * * *

  What the hell do people wear on dates, anyway? Galen felt completely clueless as she flipped through her enormous walk-in closet. It was filled end to end with designer shirts and suits and shoes, but she couldn’t figure out what to wear. Not only had it been years since she’d been on a date that didn’t consist of a quickie in her office (Rowan hadn’t been wrong), but she rarely had to wear real clothes anymore. She spent the majority of her life in scrubs, and when she wasn’t in those, she was likely at home in sweatpants. Neither of those seemed like a palatable option for a date with Rowan—not when she wanted things to be perfect.

  “No. No. No, no no.” Galen tossed aside shirt after shirt before finally stopping at one that still had the tags on it—a navy, plaid Tom Ford she’d bought for a conference and never worn. She tried it on, buttoned the buttons one by one in the mirror, and smoothed her hands down her sides. “Yes.” She smiled, pleased with what she saw but unable to keep from noticing just how much she looked like her father. He may be a dick, she told herself, but at least he’s not bad-looking. After years of having girls fall all over themselves in her presence, Galen knew she was attractive. She also knew looks only counted for so much.

  From the top of her closet she pulled out her best pair of dark jeans and put them on, tucking in her shirt and securing it with a belt. She topped off the outfit with a fitted black jacket and a pair of boots, and sprayed a little hairspray in her usually unruly hair. A bottle of expensive cologne that her sister had given her for Christmas several years ago sat nearly untouched on her nightstand. After a few generous spritzes, she took one last look in the mirror, decided she would do, walked to her building’s parking garage, and got into her car.

  * * *

  It had been forever since Rowan had been on a “proper date.” Unless, of course, she was counting Thursday night dinners at Zaxby’s with Brian, which she wasn’t. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had to find something to wear that wasn’t scrubs or yoga pants. Whatever it was, it needed to be good. It needed to wow. She realized, alarmed, that Galen had never seen her in actual clothes before, and her anxiety tripled. She found her best dress that she’d worn three times, to two different weddings and again the previous New Year’s Eve, and decided it was her best bet. It still looked good. And she had a feeling if the way Galen looked at her earlier was any indication, she’d be just fine.

  An hour and ten minutes after she’d arrived home, Rowan received a text from Galen saying she was out front. A tsunami of nausea unlike anything Rowan had ever experienced threatened to knock her over, and she wanted to vomit. Were these nerves? Had to be. The feeling was too similar to her first days in the OR. Still, she’d never felt like running to the toilet because of a date. This was so incredibly different than everything she’d ever known.

  A new BMW idled in front of her apartment building, and Rowan knew it had to be Galen. The cold October air bit at her cheeks, and she was glad she’d managed to find a warm coat before the notorious New England weather unleashed its annual wrath. Galen emerged from the driver’s side and moved to open the door for her.

  “This is what people do on a date, right?” Galen said, teasing her.

  “You’re doing great so far.” Rowan would have been lying if she said she didn’t notice the wafting of Galen’s cologne and the shape of her body under her long, tailored wool jacket. She had been raised on fairy tales—Cinderella, Snow White, all of them. But Rowan always thought Prince Charming was bullshit. Yet there she was. Instead of a carriage was a BMW. Rowan’s glass slippers were just Macy’s specials. And she sure as hell wouldn’t be home by midnight. But there she was.

  A special favor called into Jody Adams at Porto landed Galen the best table in the restaurant, complete with a bottle of a rich red wine waiting for them.

  “Show-off,” Rowan said, when Galen dropped her name to the hostess.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Rowan wove her arm through Galen’s. “It’s perfect,” she mumbled. But she was sure Galen had heard her.

  Dinner was everything Galen had promised. And after she’d eaten the best meal she could ever remember having, Rowan finished her third glass of wine and leaned forward contentedly on her hands. “Thank you.”

  “You’re very welcome. But the night isn’t over yet.”

  “Oh, it’s not?” Rowan kicked off one of her heels and slid her foot under the table, rubbing Galen’s leg slowly.

  “I mean, I hope not. Come home with me.”

  “That’s very forward of you, Dr. Burgess. But I’m going to go ahead and say, ‘Check please.’”

  Galen immediately flagged down the server, argued briefly when Rowan tried to pay, and signed the bill, nearly yanking Rowan by the hand out of the restaurant.

  During the entire ride back to Galen’s apartment, Rowan couldn’t stay off her. She was like a teenager, her hormones completely soliciting the actions of her hands and her body. She stroked her palm up Galen’s thigh, and at every red light she leaned over to kiss her ears, her fa
ce, whatever she could get ahold of. Galen didn’t seem to mind. In fact, Rowan was sure she felt her driving faster the closer they got to home. “You’re killing me, you know that, Duncan?”

  “What do you mean?” Rowan batted her eyelashes as innocently as she could.

  “I mean, if we don’t get back to my place in about two seconds, I’m going to have to take you right here in the front seat of my car.”

  Rowan would have had Galen in the car, or anywhere else, really. But she was pleased when they arrived at Galen’s building a few excruciating minutes later.

  Neither of them spoke. Both were too determined to get inside and up the two flights of stairs to Galen’s apartment. When Galen finally opened the door, a huge, furry beast that Rowan immediately recognized as the infamous Suzie bounded around the corner and jumped on them.

  “Down, girl,” Galen commanded her. “Heel.” The massive dog panted wildly but did as she was told, sitting obediently at Galen’s feet. “Good girl. Now, Suzie, I’d like you to meet Rowan. Ro, meet my leading lady, Suzie.”

  Rowan crouched and rubbed Suzie’s head with both hands. “Hello there, Suzie. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

  “She was at my sister’s last time you were here. She takes care of her a lot when I get busy at work. I just have to take her outside really quickly, okay? I promise, it’ll be just a minute.”

  “Take all the time you need,” Rowan said, placing her hands on Galen’s hips and kissing her slowly. “But also, hurry back.”

  While Galen took care of Suzie, Rowan wandered around the apartment. She picked up a handblown vase off one of the side tables that probably cost more than her college tuition, but put it down when she noticed a framed photo sitting in the corner near the television. It was old, but it clearly showed Galen, standing with her two sisters, her mother, and Dr. Burgess Senior. Galen wore a cap and gown adorned with sashes and pins that undoubtedly represented numerous honors she’d earned. Everyone in the photograph was smiling, happy. Rowan stared at it for a long time. She’d been with Brian for years. Marrying him was expected, the logical next step. But she’d never really been able to picture what a life with him would look like. As she grew lost in the photo in front of her, she could so easily see a life with Galen—a house, two successful surgical careers, a couple of kids, holidays with the Burgess sisters. All of it. The prospect terrified Rowan. Too soon, she told herself. Too much, too soon. But the vision was so clearly there she could almost see it in its own picture frame, right in front of her.