Couch Potato Chaos- Gamebound

by Erik Rounds

  Tasha smiled and shook her head. “I’ve always preferred my mind to be sharp and in a constant state of high alert, especially with my job. That’s why I drink coffee and lots of soda.”

  “That sounds stressful,” said Ari.

  “Oh, you have no idea. But that was who I used to be. I’m still coming to terms with the fact that I just died last week and am no longer the same person.” She picked up a carafe of elven wine from the table, poured herself a glass, and held it up. “To relaxing the mind.”

  They clinked glasses and sat in silence for several minutes, looking out at the city below the castle. Dim lights could be seen from the streetlamps below.

  “What will you do after this?” Tasha asked.

  Ari shrugged. “I’d hoped Pan and I could keep traveling with you. I’m glad to have met you.”

  “Really? Why is that? I’m really not that interesting.”

  “That’s not true. Of the entire city, you are the one person who was able to find the princess.”

  “That was just dumb luck,” she said, waving her hand dismissively.

  “Maybe, but the clues were all there—you had the will to follow through. You went after her when most people would have found some excuse not to. You are a woman of action, and that’s what I like about you.”

  Thanks, Ari. Nobody’s ever called me a woman of action before. Well, at least they haven’t called me that unironically.”

  “It’s true,” he said. “You’ve made my life much more interesting. I’m sure Pan feels the same way.”

  “Stop complimenting me; it’ll go to my head.”

  She was about to pour herself another drink when she noticed something odd about Ari’s hand. At first she thought that it was a trick of the light, but the more she looked, the more she was certain. His left hand was partially transparent. “Uh, Ari, what’s wrong with your left hand?”

  He looked confused for a moment, then glanced at his left hand. It was see-through, just like Tasha thought.

  “I… didn’t want you to see this,” he said, shoving it in his pocket. “It’s a… condition I have. It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

  “A condition? Ari, your hand is literally disappearing! This is serious.”

  He brought it back out and looked at it casually. “Don’t worry. I have things under control. I need you to stay focused on the quest. Don’t worry about me.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “I’m sure. It’s something I’ve grown used to. It doesn’t hurt or anything. By morning everything will be back to normal.”

  “All right, Ari. I’ll drop it for now if you want me to. If you’re sure it’s okay.”

  They spoke for some time, and Ari seemed completely at ease about the fact that his hand was only partly there.

  She considered pouring herself another drink, but instead excused herself and went to bed. She didn’t want to be hung over the following day… assuming hangovers were even a thing in Etheria.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  The meeting the following morning was held in a vast garden some distance from the great keep. A small stream wound its way through a small pine grove. The rhythmic chirping of songbirds and insects filled the air.

  By the time Tasha had arrived with Princess Kiwistafel and Prince Hermes, a number of delegates had already been assembled and were engaged in heated conversation. Ari and Pan had been asked to remain behind in the castle, as Tasha was the only member of the group to be invited. Tasha would have enjoyed the moral support of her friends, but the need for secrecy was entirely reasonable.

  Several orc chieftains were in attendance as well as an ogre and a giant spider. Not a humanoid spider, but one that very closely resembled the mob that had very nearly killed Tasha in Webwood Forest.

  Tasha turned to Kiwi. “Who are all of these people?”

  “These are delegates and ambassadors from the member nations of Questgivria. They have all come here to take part in this meeting. I’m sure they all want to know what’s wrong with the menu clock.”

  Kiwi indicated a gathering of slimes. “That green-colored slime is the slime minister.”

  “Did you seriously just say ‘slime minister’?”

  “Oh, yes,” she said, “the slime minister is the head figure in charge of the Slime Federation.”

  Great, more slime puns. “Is the slime kingdom also a part of Questgivria?”

  “No,” said Kiwi, “but we are close allies with them, and they are our neighbors.”

  “I don’t see any other humans here.”

  Kiwi shook her head. “And you won’t. Most of the humans you encounter in Questgivria will be refugees from Zhakara. There are no human member nations of the Questgivrian empire.”

  A shadow rushed across the garden, followed by a gust of wind. A great red dragon with immense batlike wings and a scaled underbelly flew overhead. Its sheer enormity was on par with a Boeing 747. The reason why this meeting had to be held outdoors became immediately evident. There wouldn’t be enough room to store everyone inside comfortably.

  The great red dragon landed some distance away and was joined by a number of its smaller brethren. There was a blue snake-like Chinese-style dragon who remained aloft and formed patterns in the air. A green SUV-sized gas dragon with a large belly stood next to the larger red dragon.

  One of the smaller dragons landed close by. It was a smaller greenish-gray dragon only slightly larger than Denver. He approached Princess Kiwi, who patted his head in greeting. Tasha scanned the dragon before approaching.

  Kaze (Level 19)

  A steam dragon. Enjoys fish, elven singing, and taking long naps on piles of treasure.

  Hates vegetables, especially spinach.

  As Tasha moved closer to the dragon, and Kaze turned his long neck to look at her. A childlike voice spoke within Tasha’s head.

  Hello, human.

  The words formed themselves in Tasha’s mind, but nobody had spoken. The dragon tilted his head. I said hello. Can you not hear me?

  “Are you… speaking in my mind?” asked Tasha.

  Of course I am, silly biped. This is how dragons communicate. Have you never spoken with a dragon before?

  “Tasha, this is Kaze,” said Kiwi. “We’ve known each other since we were children. When we were younger, we used to level together.”

  “Are the dragons part of Questgivria?” asked Tasha.

  “No, they have a small settlement at the North Pole called Dragonholm, but most dragons are nomadic these days, ever since being displaced by the mountain dwarves.”

  Tasha looked around. “I don’t see any dwarves here other than Hermes.”

  “And you won’t, either,” said Hermes. “My father’s mountain kingdom has cut itself off from the affairs of the rest of the world. Besides which, dragons and mountain dwarves hate one another. If the mountain kingdom was in attendance, the dragons would certainly refuse to attend. Even if the hill dwarves from Dwarselvania were here without their presence, the dragons might take it as an affront.”

  “Why is that? Did something happen between dragons and dwarves?”

  Hermes nodded. “Indeed. Long ago, dwarves and dragons lived together under the great Laundry Mountain, deep within Dwarselvania. Dwarves would mine for precious ore and craft great treasures. The dragons, in turn, protected that treasure and the mountain kingdom from invaders. It was a beneficial arrangement for both dragons and dwarves that persisted for centuries.”

  “I take it something happened?” Tasha said.

  “My father, King Dourmal, happened. When he became king, he inherited an artifact known as the Orb of Earth that gave him the power to command the element of Earth. My father wasn’t happy with the relationship between the dwarves and dragons. Most of the time, dragons merely slept on piles of gold and consumed huge amounts of food. He felt they provided nothing of immediate monetary value.

  “King Dourmal decided that they didn’t need the protection of the dragons anymore
, so he slaughtered them all in their sleep, reinforced the mountain using the orb, and kept the crystalline dragon eggs as hostages.

  “Their home had been taken from them, so the dragons turned to a nomadic lifestyle. The dragons might tolerate my presence here but just barely.”

  Tasha frowned. “Sounds like the dragons have good reason to hate dwarves. I take it you don’t agree with your father?”

  Hermes cleared his throat. “Well, considering he tried to kill me at birth… yes, our relationship is less than optimal.”

  “Your father tried to kill you? I thought there was no death in Etheria outside of old age?”

  “Aye, once a person has been registered with a save point, they can resurrect upon death. By the time I was born, a madness had already taken root in his heart. He had decided that I represented a future threat and decided to kill me the moment I was born, before I could be registered at a save point. So he took a great mythril axe and tried to cut me down. For some reason, he missed and only succeeded in cutting off my left arm.”

  Tasha looked at Hermes with horror.

  “The nursemaid took me from the chamber and registered me at the save point, but the damage was already done. Whenever I respawn or use the healing power of the save point, everything but my arm is restored.”

  Tasha pursed her lips. “Well, that explains the machine-gun arm.”

  “That’s right. I’ve been living with the elves most of my life. I think King Questgiver hopes I will one day claim my father’s title of King Under the Laundry Mountain, but I don’t think that will ever happen. The dwarves of the Laundry Mountain have been made to hate me. I’m considered an outcast.”

  Kiwi sighed sadly. “The humans of Zhakara enslave the elves, most of the races fear and hate humans, the dwarves and dragons hate one another, and now a god of chaos is trying to destroy the world. We stand upon the brink of war and total destruction.”

  A chime rang out in the air from where the delegates had assembled. The meeting was about to start.

  King Questgiver spoke. “Fair greetings to you all. I have called you all here to discuss the strange behavior of the menu clock, what it represents, and what can be done about it.”

  A dark-elven woman wearing a knotted golden crown said, “And what have you learned, high king? What calamity does this foretell?”

  “Calamity indeed. I assume that you are all familiar with the contract that our kingdom has with Entropy. For the sake of our human guest, I will describe it briefly.”

  One of the elven lords scoffed. “What is this human doing amongst us? I do not wish to treat with Zhakaran spies.”

  “This human is a player,” Questgiver said. “She is here by my invitation. Tasha, what do you know about Entropy?”

  “Only what I’ve heard from my friends. Entropy is the god of destruction. From what I’ve heard, an elven king struck some sort of Faustian deal with him. People living on Etheria would receive immunity to all forms of death save for old age. In exchange, after 3,000 years, he would destroy the planet. Your advisor, Snickers, appeared disguised as one of Entropy’s priests and bargained on Entropy’s behalf.”

  “That’s correct,” said the high king. “The king who struck that bargain was my grandfather, the first high-elven king. After completing the contract, Snickers made a second deal with him.

  “It turned out that Snickers was a trickster god in disguise and lusted after the Questgivrian throne for some reason. Eidolons such as he cannot directly interfere in the affairs of mortals without the permission of those mortals. If he simply tried to take the throne, the other of his kind would step in to stop him. Instead, he made a bargain.

  “He promised King Lorien two things in exchange for the crown. First, that he would loyally serve him and any of his descendants for as long as the bloodline continued. Second, that he would adjust the terms of the deal that was made with the destroyer god. Entropy would still destroy the world, but there would be a hundred hours of forewarning, and the means of his arrival would be something that we could hinder. When the end came, at least there would be hope.

  “King Lorien accepted the deal. Since then, Snickers has been the chief advisor. My daughter, Kiwistafel, is the last of the Questgivrian bloodline.”

  Tasha nodded.

  “Snickers, would you bring out the Deathslayer Scroll?” said King Questgiver.

  Snickers the Bumble approached the table and removed something from his jacket. It was a wooden tube, far too large in size and length to fit inside the pocket he had just removed it from. He opened the tube and removed a large scroll, which he unrolled onto the table.

  The contract was written in English, using elaborate lettering. At the bottom of the contract were two signatures.

  “This is the same contract that Lorien signed with Entropy,” King Questgiver said. “It is signed with the blood of a god and is utterly indestructible. It is this contract that ended death and now gives Entropy admittance to destroy Etheria.”

  A deafening voice filled Tasha’s mind. And are you saying that this contract is the reason for the countdown? It was the large red dragon, who towered over the assembled races.

  “Yes,” said the king. “Over the last week, our astronomers have been observing the lesser moon, Entropy. That moon’s orbital period has been slowly decreasing in time with the countdown. As the second moon is Entropy himself, we can infer that he’s getting closer to Etheria as the clock runs down.”

  One of the orc chieftains spoke up. “Then what can be done about it? How can we kill a god?”

  “Our researchers have been searching for an answer for days, ever since the countdown started. I believe we may have found a solution.”

  He removed an ancient tome from his inventory and placed it on the table. Carefully turning the pages, he found the one he was looking for. The script was in elvish, and Tasha couldn’t read any of the words, but on one page there was a circle with diagram of six points and a building in the center. A second illustration showed what appeared to be a temple surrounded by columns.

  “This ancient text describes a ritual that creates a portal to a place known as the Hallowed Chapel. The Hallowed Chapel is a separate realm which exists in Etheria for only minutes at a time and only when invoked. We’ve only summoned it a handful of times when we needed a place to store dangerous objects.”

  Tasha looked at him warily. “Like what sort of dangerous objects?”

  “It contains dangerous magical objects as well as certain cursed objects that are harmful to elvenkind and can’t be easily destroyed. There is the Crown of the Werehuman, the Uncertainty Bomb, and the Mirror of True Reflection, amongst other dangerous artifacts.”

  “What is this… Crown of the Werehuman?” asked Tasha.

  “It transforms any sentient being into a human on the next full moon.”

  “That doesn’t sound so bad,” said Tasha.

  “No offense,” Kiwi said, “but no elf would want to become human, and there is no way to undo its effects.”

  “Okay, what about the Uncertainty Bomb?”

  “We’re… not actually certain,” said Iolo. “We believe that it divides the universe when used. It may have already done so; there’s really no way to tell. It’s best to leave these dangerous artifacts where they can’t harm anyone. Before you ask, the Mirror of True Reflection reveals your true nature. Through its use, we’ve learned that most people prefer a slightly less accurate self-image.”

  The giant spider that Tasha had seen earlier approached the table and spoke in a high, guttural voice. “How does this knowledge help us deal with the matter at hand?”

  The king stood in thought for a moment. “If we place the scroll in the Hallowed Chapel, it would cease to exist once the Chapel vanishes. That might nullify the contract. No Etherian could do this because we are all bound by the contract. Only an outsider could carry the Deathslayer Scroll within.”

  “Wait a minute,” Tasha said. “If I’m not bound by that contr
act, how is it that I respawned after death?”

  The king thought for a moment. “I’m not sure. What normally happens to players when they die?”

  “It depends on the game. I guess we would usually respawn.”

  “Then it seems you can respawn on death because of the very nature of players. The rest of us only respawn because of the Deathslayer Scroll. Once the scroll is nullified, the contract with Entropy will end, meaning that death will once again become permanent.”

  “It doesn’t seem like there is any choice,” Tasha said. “I’ll carry the scroll into this Hallowed Chapel. So where exactly is it?”

  “The Hallowed Chapel does not currently exist,” King Questgiver said. “It must be summoned. In order to reach it, we must construct a suitable building. Any structure will do so long as it is a place of deep thought and contemplation. A synagogue or temple would suffice.

  “Next, the six elemental orbs must be collected and placed around the structure. The elemental orbs form the cornerstones of the world, and placing them around the structure will channel vast amounts of energy from Etheria, allowing the portal to form.

  “These will transform the building into a portal that can be used to reach the Hallowed Chapel. The portal will only last for mere minutes in our world—enough time to place an item inside and leave. Just go in, deposit the scroll, and exit.

  “I will order the construction of an appropriate structure. As for the orbs, you’ll have to collect them. The Zhakaran queen has the Orb of Fire, and”—he looked at Hermes awkwardly—“the dwarven king has the Orb of Earth. As far as I know, it is somewhere within the Laundry Mountain. The Orb of Air is in the possession of the pirate K’her Noálin, whose current whereabouts are unknown. The whereabouts of the Orb of Water is currently unknown, which is part of the reason I called this gathering of nations.” He looked around. “You must each search for the orb in your own lands.”

  There was some general murmuring, but no one protested outright.

  “That just leaves the orbs of Life and Death. The six elemental orbs form partnerships and ally themselves with individuals, lending those individuals their power. The Orb of Life was once allied with me and before that it was allied with my father. It resides in a structure known as the Spiral Tower, where it serves to power the healing effects of the save-point network. This one should be the easiest to retrieve.”