If You Could Only See (Buchanan Brothers Series Book 1)

by M. E. Clayton

  “You’re a stupid fuck,” came Aiden’s voice from behind me.

  I twisted around to face him. “Is that so?”

  Aiden made his way around the couch and took up residence on the coffee table. He took notice of the whiskey bottle before saying, “Yeah, that’s so.”

  “I totally agree,” quipped Michael.

  I scanned the faces of my three brothers. “Okay, then explain it to me.”

  Aiden rested his elbows on his knees and lean forward, making sure he had my complete attention. “You’re right, Mase. Our futures are tied to each other’s and Buchanan Industries has been reorganized to have four heads instead of just one. However, none of it will work if one of us abandons ship.”

  “I don’t want to be at BI if I have to do it under Dad’s rule,” Gabriel chimed in. “I won’t do it.”

  “Neither will I,” Michael added.

  Aiden sat up straight and shrugged a shoulder. “We go wherever you go, Mason. Fuck Dad.”

  I dropped my head in my hands and ran my fingers through my hair. I appreciated everything they were saying, but could I really ask my brothers to risk their financial futures because I fell in love? Because of my selfish wants and needs? “And if we all end up out on the streets?” I asked.

  Michael’s dimples came out. “We won’t end up on the streets, Mase. We’ll all just shack up with Shane.”

  I let out a huff. “Right now, I think she’d rather see us homeless.”

  Michael scoffed. “Puhlease. She might want to see you homeless, but she likes me.”

  Gabriel got back to being serious. “Look, Mase, it’s not like we’re destitute. Everything we have is paid for, so our allowances have been doing nothing but growing in a bank account. Yeah, Dad can cut us off from any future monies and kick us out of this house, but the bank accounts were turned over to us the second we each turned 18. He can’t touch them,” he reminded us all. “We can live off that until we find jobs or whatever.”

  “We can even still afford to go here if we’re careful,” Michael added.

  “They’re right, Mase,” Aiden joined in. “The one thing Dad can’t take away from us is our last name. Even without Dad supporting us, doors will open for us using our last name alone.”

  I dropped my head back and closed my eyes. No matter what happened, I’d never be able to repay them this moment in time. “What if she doesn’t forgive me?” I asked, voicing my real concern. “It’s important to me that she’s happy. What if I can no longer make her happy?”

  “She’ll forgive you, Mason,” Aiden replied. “Once she sees you’ve given up everything you have for her, she’ll forgive you.”

  “I wish it were that simple, Aid,” I said. “I let her down like everyone else in her life has. I’m just like everyone else now.”

  They all remained silent because they knew it was true. I made her feel worthless, and that knowledge was gutting me wide open. I felt like I was being eaten alive with self-loathing and regret. I should have told my dad to go fuck himself. She should have witnessed how much she did matter, but instead, she saw another foster family sending her back.

  Fucking Christ. I could feel the heat begin behind my eyes and I was pretty fucking sure my brothers were going to witness me cry for the first time in their lives. “For the first time in my life, I don’t know what to do,” I admitted.

  “Let me think,” Michael whispered to himself mostly, and we all stayed silent as he did his thing. Like I said, Michael could assess calmly when everyone else around him panicked. After a lot of mumble utterances none of us could make out, Michael looked up at us with a smile on his face. “Let’s head home this Friday, after classes, and tell Dad to go fuck himself. It’ll give Shane all week to calm down and it’ll give us all weekend to come up with a plan if all else fails.”

  Gabe looked over at him as if he’d lost his mind. “That’s your plan?”

  Mike rolled his eyes. “We tell him in front of Mom, Gabe. We make sure to tell him in front of Mom. It’ll be her one chance to do the right thing and if she doesn’t, then we kill two birds with one fuck off stone.”

  “Do you really think, after all this time, Mom will actually stand up for us,” I asked, skeptical.

  Michael smiled. “Oh, yeah.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. He knew something. I just hoped whatever it was worked in our favor.

  Chapter 23

  Shane~

  I had to be the most pathetic person on the planet.

  Once a doormat, always a doormat…I supposed.

  It was Friday night, and I was a few minutes away from my shift ending at the diner and all I felt was a deep sadness that I was going home to an empty apartment.

  I hadn’t heard from Mason all week and I never imagined how lost I’d feel over that. I know I was the one who told him to leave me alone, but a small part…okay, a large part of me was hoping he’d ignore me and fight for me.

  I hoped he’d prove that I wasn’t an unwanted, worthless case.

  As devastated as I had been over everything that happened, by the time Wednesday had rolled around, I started thinking about Mr. Buchanan. Hearing the things he had said to Mason and his brothers had been unimaginable. He spoke like he had been training soldiers. He spoke to them like they were supposed to be unfeeling robots and not young men with their own thoughts and ideas.

  The one thing that had really taken me by surprise was his reaction to Michael. Mr. Buchanan had actually seemed afraid of him. It made me wonder at everything I didn’t know about the guys. I mean, sure I’d heard the rumors, and since meeting them I’ve seen small glimpses of their personalities, but I really didn’t know them.

  I didn’t know them, but I knew I missed them. Michael had sent me small, random texts throughout the week asking how I was, but other than that, they’d all been scarce.

  My shift was finally over, and I grabbed my jacket and started my walk home. I usually took the bus, but this week, I looked to the long walks to help stave off the inevitable of walking into my lonely apartment. The night air was cool, but I didn’t mind. I had been walking around all week in a numb state, anyway.

  My phone rang, and as I pulled it out of my pocket, I saw that it was Viola. “Hey, lady.”

  “Hey, back. What are you doing?” she asked.

  “I just finished my shift at the diner. I’m headed home.”

  “Have you thought anymore about what I said?” she asked, not pussy-footing around.

  When I had broken down Saturday night, I had called Viola, and she had come over and held me as I shattered to pieces. She didn’t judge or say anything negative. She had actually encouraged me to hear Mason out and weigh his words before making a final decision. Viola was positive that Mason’s feelings for me were the real thing and she didn’t think I should let my childhood insecurities wipe out any chance of repairing things with Mason.

  “I have, Vi, but I think it’s too late,” I answered, thankful that the streets were quiet. People, talking loudly on their cell phones in public, was a pet peeve of mine.

  “Why do you say that?”

  I wrapped my jacket tighter around my body. Not sure if I was warding off the chilly night or the depression from my next words. “I haven’t heard from him all week, Vi.”

  She was silent for a few seconds before she said, “Okay, but that could be because he’s waiting for you to calm down, Shane. I bet if you called him, he’d rush right over.”

  “I’m scared,” I whispered, honestly.

  “I know you are, babe. But don’t let Mason Buchanan become one of your greatest regrets in life,” she whispered back. “I know it feels all too good to be true, but Shane, you don’t see the way he looks at you the way the rest of us do. That man loves you. I’d bet my degree on it.”

  “This is so ridiculous, Vi. It’s only been two weeks. How can this be such a disaster after only two goddamn weeks?” I spent a lot of this week wondering how Mason and I went from not speaking for th
ree years to professions of love and eternity.

  “Love doesn’t work on a timeline, babe,” she said, sagely.

  “Okay, Vi, I’ll…Hey! Ow! Wha-” Suddenly, I felt a pair of strong hands grabbing me from behind and dragging me down a closed off alley. It all happened in a matter of seconds when I was thrown up against the brick building that housed one of the many business down this street.

  I looked up to find Branson Morgan holding me in a stinging grip against the wall, my purse and phone falling to the ground. “Branson, what in the hell are you doing?”

  He smirked, and it was evil looking. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and I knew this was going to be bad. I had managed to avoid Branson since his fight with Mason, but apparently, he wasn’t trying to avoid me.

  He removed one of his hands off my arm and reached up to caress my cheek. “I heard Buchanan dumped you.”

  I closed my eyes, briefly. That was another thing that had made this week hellish. Because everyone noticed everything about the Buchanans, they noticed right off when Mason was no longer walking me to class. The girls snickered, and the guys got predatory. There were smug smiles, whispered innuendos and outright hostility.

  I missed being invisible.

  “He didn’t dump me,” I fired back.

  His hand kept tracing my face, but I didn’t knock it away. I didn’t want to antagonize him. “Oh, really? Then why haven’t I seen him tagging along after you all week?”

  “That’s none of your business.”

  Branson went on as if I hadn’t spoken. “See, my guess is that he popped that sweet cherry of yours and moved on.” He leaned into me, and I shuttered as he sniffed my skin. “And I know he popped it, because you smell used, Shane.”

  I wanted to punch him in his face. But if he could last long enough to go a couple of rounds with Mason, I knew I was no match for him. “My relationship with Mason is none of your business,” I repeated.

  He planted both hands on either side of my shoulders, trapping me. “Here’s the thing, Shane. I don’t really care if you’re a virgin or not. Now, don’t get me wrong. I would have loved to make you bleed all over my dick, but just because Buchanan got that honor doesn’t mean I don’t still want to fuck you.”

  I cringed. The thought of being with anyone, besides Mason, made my stomach turn. It’s funny how, two weeks ago, I was willing to hand over my virginity to any random guy who had shown me any interest, but now that I’ve been with Mason, I can’t imagine being with anyone else. I supposed that was another reason to take Viola’s advice.

  “It doesn’t matter if you want to sleep with me or not, Branson,” I snapped back. “I’m not interested in you, with or without Mason in the picture.”

  I expected him to get upset, but instead, he threw his head back and laughed.

  And it wasn’t a good laugh.

  Branson looked back down at me and his words had me frozen to the core. “You think I give a fuck what you want, Shane?” My eyes widened at what he was insinuating. “Even if I didn’t want in between your legs, I’d still force my way in them just to show Buchanan that he ain’t shit.”

  I didn’t care if it seemed premature. I started screaming, and his startled shock at my unexpected screams gave me the opportunity to push him away. I took off running, but I didn’t get very far before I felt a tug on the back of my jacket, and I went careening to the ground. The impact of the fall stole my breath and my screams came to an abrupt end.

  Before I could get my bearings, Branson had me turned over onto my back, holding me prisoner by his weight on my body. “Just for that, I’m not going to stop until you’re so torn apart, they’re not going to be able to sew you back together,” he snarled. “Let’s see how much Mason wants to fuck you then, when you’re split from pussy to asshole, you uppity bitch.”

  “Get off me!” I screamed, as soon as I got my breath back.

  His hands started roaming and his breath reeked of alcohol. “I can’t wait to send you back to Mason covered in my fucking cum.”

  His touch was making me want to vomit with each caress. I couldn’t let this happen. And I knew…I knew that no matter what was going on with me and Mason, he wouldn’t want this for me. “Mason’s going to kill you,” I threatened.

  “Maybe,” he cackled, “but, while I might be dead, he’ll have to spend the rest of his life knowing he wasn’t the only one to cum inside his precious pussy.”

  The fear his words instilled was real.

  I punched.

  I kicked.

  I screamed.

  I fought.

  God, how I fought

  I scream and fought with everything I had. I ignored the tearing sound of my clothes. I ignored the crushing weight of his body. I ignored it all as I fought to save myself. When the blow to my face turned everything dark, my last thought was of Mason.

  Chapter 24

  Mason~

  Not a lot rattled me, but I had to admit being here, knowing it was going to change my world-our world-had me anxious. I wanted to get this over with and run back to Shane and beg her forgiveness.

  It’s been only one week, but that was enough to tell me that there was no way I’d be able to spend the rest of my life without her. I had been climbing the walls after only two days. Seven days later, I felt like I was losing my grip on reality.

  My father walked into his study with my mother falling in his wake. When Aiden had called him and told him we were all coming home, because we needed to talk, he had let him know that we demanded our mother’s presence, as well. My father had tried to protest, but when Aiden had mentioned that my mother’s attendance was insisted upon by Michael, he caved. Harold Reginal Buchanan might be a world class bastard, but he wasn’t stupid. And even he knew enough to be wary of Michael.

  After all, he’s the one who created him.

  His strides were purposeful, and he looked every bit the billionaire devil he was, as he went to stand behind his desk. My mother chose to stand next to the bar in his study while Aiden, Mike, Gabe and I took up the center of the room.

  My father wasted no time. “So, what’s all this about?”

  “Shane’s my girlfriend,” I answered, easily. Now that I was here, doing this, the words were easy. “Everything on that video is true. I beat the fuck out of Branson Morgan because he had put his hands on what’s mine.”

  His face took on a horrible hue of red. “I knew it,” he spat. “I fucking knew you were lying to me about her.” I didn’t reply to the truth of his words. “Well, I won’t have it, Mason. Do you hear me?” He fisted his hands at his side. “I will not have my firstborn son getting in bed with a nobody!”

  I crossed my arms over my chest and stare him down. “It’s not up to you, Dad. Shane’s mine and I’m not giving her up. Period.”

  His fist rained down on the surface of his oak desk. “Yes, you are!” he bellowed. “You are going to finish with that tramp and if you need a girlfriend that badly, then find someone worthy of standing by your side.”

  I uncrossed my arms and stalked toward his desk. I placed my palms down on top of the desk and leaned into him. It never sat well with him that we had all surpassed his height. “You have it all wrong,” I replied. “I’m not worthy to stand next to her.”

  My father’s anger was all over his face and in every nerve of his body. Nobody defied him, least of all, his sons. He ruled his family with an iron fist, and he wasn’t about to lose control of us now. “You walk away from that girl or I will make sure you lose everything, Mason. Your house, school, your degree, your money, Buchanan Industries…I’ll take it all away! You’ll be left with nothing but a whore wh-”

  “Call Shane a whore or a nobody in front of me one more time, Dad, and see what happens,” Aiden’s voice cut through the room.

  I don’t think I have ever felt so much love for my brother as I did in this moment where he’s defending his sister; the woman I loved.

  Dad’s head shot over in Aiden’s d
irection. “What? Are you guys all fucking her?”

  I heard my mother’s gasp, and as much as I wanted to fly across the desk and beat my father to death, I knew I had bigger issues to handle at the moment.

  I twisted around just in time to step in front of Michael as Aiden and Gabriel did their best to restrain him. He was pointing at my father as we all held him back. “I’ll fucking kill you, I swear to God!” he thundered. “Say one more thing about her and I will fucking kill you!”

  “Michael!” I yelled, trying to draw his attention. It took a lot of manhandling and shouting, but he finally stepped away from the edge and focused on me. “I got this, Mike.” I patted his chest, trying to snap him out of his emotions. “I got this, okay?” He gave me a small nod, but I noticed Aiden didn’t leave his side and Gabe kept his arm around his shoulder.

  Jesus Christ, Michael was going to kill someone one day.

  I turned back to my father, and I noticed his pallor had whitened a bit. I’m not sure if that’s the first time Michael’s ever went after him, but like I said before, my father was no fool. He knew Michael was a tad unbalanced.

  I got back to the issue at hand. “You can have it all. If it means giving up Shane, then I don’t want any of it.”

  “You’d throw away your entire future for her?” he asked, incredulously.

  I laughed. “She is my future,” I replied. “That’s what you’re refusing to see.”

  He lifted a brow and sneered, “Fine. Go be with her, then. I have three other sons wh-”

  “Not exactly,” Aiden interrupted.

  My father turned to him, shock clear on his face, no matter how hard he was trying to conceal it. “And what does that mean?”

  “It means where Mason goes, we go,” Gabriel answered.

  “It means if you cut off Mason, then you cut all of us off,” Aiden clarified.

  My father barked out a laugh, calling our bluffs. “Do you think I care?”

  Michael’s voice sounded like the crack of a whip. I knew he was still enraged. “I think you’ll care when word gets out that all four Buchanan sons jumped ship,” he said. “I think you’ll care a lot, and I think your recent contracts will care when they start to wonder who the hell will run Buchanan Industries in the future and what’s so bad about BI that all four sons chose to be poor and start over, rather than work at BI. I’d think about that, if I were you.”