by Plautus
MUS.-G.
I never heard of that person before to-day, nor, indeed, was any one able to purchase me for any money; I’ve been free now for more than five years.
PERIPHIANES
What business have you, then, at my house?
MUS.-G.
You shall hear; I came, being hired to perform for an old gentleman while he was sacrificing.
PERIPHIANES
I do confess that I am the most worthless of all men in Athens of Attica. But do you know Acropolistis the Music-girl?
MUS.-G.
As well as my own self.
PERIPHIANES
Where does she live?
MUS.-G.
Since she has been made free, I don’t know for certain.
PERIPHIANES
Well now, I should like to know who has made her free, if you know?
MUS.-G.
That which I have heard, you shall hear; I heard that Stratippocles, the son of Periphanes, had provided in his absence that she should be made free.
PERIPHIANES
By heavens, I’m undone, most clearly, if these things are true. Epidicus has disembowelled my purse!
MUS.-G.
I’ve heard to that effect. Do you want me for anything else?
PERIPHIANES
Away to perdition in the veriest torments, and off this instant!
MUS.-G.
Won’t you give me back my harp?
PERT.
Neither harp nor pipes. Make haste, then, and escape from here, if the Gods love you!
MUS.-G.
I’ll be off. At a future time, however, you’ll restore it, with the greater disgrace to yourself. (Exit.)
PERIPHIANES
to himself . What now? Shall I, who have been placed before so many edicts, allow him to get with impunity? No; even though as much again should be required to be lost, I’ll lose it rather than allow myself to be held in derision with impunity and plundered by them. That I should have been thus cheated openly to my face, and that I should have been set at nought before this Apæcides, who is famed as being the framer and founder of all the laws and ordinances! He too declares that he is a wise man! that the hammer, forsooth, should be wiser than the handle! He stands aside.
ACT IV.
Enter PHILIPPA, at a distance.
PHILIPPA
to herself . If a mortal being has aught of misery, through which, miserable creature, to be wretched from the heart, that same do I experience, for whom full many a woe unites in the same spot, which, all, at the same instant are beating against my breast. A multitude of troubles keep me in suspense. Poverty and misery alarm the thoughts of my heart; nor have I anywhere a spot of safety where to fix my hopes; in such a way has my daughter fallen into the power of the enemy; nor do I know where she now is.
PERIPHIANES
apart . Who is this woman coming from a distance with a breast filled with alarms, and who thus bewails her lot?
PHILIPPA
to herself . It was told me that Periphanes was living in this neighbourhood.
PERIPHIANES
apart . She’s mentioning me; need of hospitality has befallen her, I suppose.
PHILIPPA
to herself . I would be very willing to give a reward to any one who would point me out that man, or where he dwells.
PERIPHIANES
apart . I recognize her; for I think I have seen her before; where, I know not. Is it, or is it not she, whom my mind suspects her to be?
>PHIL.
seeing him . Good Gods! I have seen this person before!
PERIPHIANES
to himself . It surely is she, a poor woman whom I remember having an intrigue with at Epidaurus.
PHILIPPA
to herself . Surely it is he, who at Epidaurus first violated my maiden modesty.
PERIPHIANES
to himself . She who had the daughter by me whom I’ve now got at home.
PHILIPPA
to herself . What if I accost him?
PERIPHIANES
to himself . I don’t know whether to make up to her. If this is she ——
PHILIPPA
to herself . But if it is the man, as length of years renders me doubtful ——
PERIPHIANES
to himself . Length of time renders my mind uncertain. But if it is she, whom with some doubt I conjecture it to be, I’ll accost her circumspectly.
PHILIPPA
to herself . A woman’s artfulness must be employed by me.
PERIPHIANES
to himself . I’ll address her.
PHILIPPA
to herself . I’ll bring my powers of conversation to bear against him.
PERIPHIANES
accosting her . Health to you!
PHILIPPA
That health I accept for me and mine.
PERIPHIANES
What besides?
PHILIPPA
Health to yourself; what you lent me, I return.
PERIPHIANES
I don’t impeach your punctuality. Don’t I know you?
PHILIPPA
If I know you, I’ll move your feelings, so that you shall know me.
PERIPHIANES
Where have I been in the habit of seeing you?
PHILIPPA
You are unfairly hard upon me.
PERIPHIANES
Why so?
PHILIPPA
Because you think it right that I should be the prompter of your memory.
PERIPHIANES
You speak to the purpose.
PHILIPPA
You say what’s strange to me, Periphanes.
PERIPHIANES
Ah now! that’s better. Do you remember, Philippa ——
PHILIPPA
Yes, I remember that.
PERIPHIANES
At Epidaurus ——
PHILIPPA
Ah! you have moistened my burning breast with a little drop of comfort.
PERIPHIANES
How I relieved the poverty of you, a poor young maiden, and your mother?
PHILIPPA
What, are you he who for your own gratification brought heavy troubles upon me?
PERIPHIANES
I am he. Health to you.
PHILIPPA
I am in health, since I see you in health.
PERIPHIANES
Give me your hand.
PHILIPPA
extending her hand, which he takes . Take it — you hold by the hand a woman distrest and full of woes.
PERIPHIANES
What is it that disturbs your features?
PHILIPPA
The daughter whom I had by you ——
PERIPHIANES
What of her?
PHILIPPA
When I had brought her up, I lost her; she fell into the hands of the enemy.
PERIPHIANES
Keep your mind in quiet and at rest. Why look, she’s here at my house safe and sound. For immediately I heard from my servant that she was a captive, instantly I gave the money for her to be purchased; he managed this affair as discreetly and frugally as in other matters he is egregiously — dishonest.
PHILIPPA
Let me see her, whether it is she or no.
PERIPHIANES
going to the door of his house . Hallo there! you — Canthara, this instant bid my daughter come out before the house, that she may see her mother.
PHILIPPA
My spirits now at last return to me.
Enter ACROPOLISTIS from the house.
ACROPOLISTIS
Why is it, father, that you have called me out before the house?
PERIPHIANES
That you may see and accost your mother, and wish her health on her arrival, and give her kisses.
ACROPOLISTIS
looking about . What mother of mine?
PERIPHIANES
pointing to PHILIPPA . She who, half dead, is following your gaze.
PHILIPPA
/>
Who is this that you are requesting to kiss me?
PERIPHIANES
Your own daughter.
PHILIPPA
What, she?
PERIPHIANES
She.
PHILIPPA
What — am I to kiss her?
PERIPHIANES
Why not, her who was born of you?
PHILIPPA
Man, you are mad.
PERIPHIANES
What, I?
PHILIPPA
Yes, you.
PERT.
Why?
PHILIPPA
Because this woman — I neither know nor understand who she is, nor have I beheld her with my eyes before this day.
PERIPHIANES
I know why you are mistaken; because this woman has her dress and ornaments changed.
PHILIPPA
Puppies have one smell, pigs quite another; I say that I do not know her, who she is.
PERIPHIANES
stamping with rage . Oh! by our trust in Gods and men, what is this? Am I following the calling of a Procurer, to be keeping strange women in my house, and to be emptying my house of my money? To ACROPOLISTIS. What are you to be calling me your father and kissing me? Why stand you stupidly there? Why do you keep silent?
ACROPOLISTIS
What do you want me to say?
PERIPHIANES
pointing to PHILIPPA . She denies that she is your mother.
ACROPOLISTIS
Don’t let her be so, if she don’t choose. For my own part, whether she likes it or not, I shall be my mother’s daughter still. It isn’t right for me to compel this woman to be my mother if she doesn’t like.
PERIPHIANES
Why then did you call me father?
ACROPOLISTIS
That is your own fault, not mine; ought I not to call you father when you call me daughter? Her too, as well pointing to PHILIPPA if she were to call me daughter, I should call mother. She declares that I am not her daughter; then she is not my mother. In fine, this is no fault of mine; what I’ve been taught, I’ve told you all of it. Epidicus was my instructor.
PERIPHIANES
I’m undone! I’ve upset my waggon!
ACROPOLISTIS
Have I done anything amiss towards that?
PERIPHIANES
Upon my faith, if I ever hear you call me father, I’ll put an end to your life, you jade!
ACROPOLISTIS
I shan’t call you so. When you want to be my father, then be so; when you don’t want, don’t be my father.
PHILIPPA
to PERIPHANES . What? Did you purchase her for that reason, because you supposed her to be your daughter? By what signs did you recognize her?
PERIPHIANES
By none.
PHILIPPA
Why did you suppose her to be our daughter?
PERIPHIANES
My servant Epidicus told me so.
PHILIPPA
What if it had seemed to your servant otherwise? Prithee, could you not have known?
PERIPHIANES
How should I, who had never seen her after having once beheld her.
PHILIPPA
Wretched creature, I’m quite undone! Begins to weep.
PERIPHIANES
Don’t weep, madam; go in-doors; be of good courage; I’ll find her out.
PHILIPPA
An Attic citizen from Athens here purchased her Indeed, they said it was a young man who had bought her.
PERIPHIANES
I will find her; hold your peace. Only do go in-doors, and keep an eye upon this Circe, this daughter of the Sun. She goes into the house, followed by ACROPOLISTIS. All business laid aside, I’ll give my attention to seeking for Epidicus. If I find him, I’ll make this day become the final one for him. (Exit.)
ACT V.
Enter STRATIPPOCLES, from the house of CHÆRIBULUS.
STRATIPPOCLES
to himself . The Banker is inattentive to me, not to seek the money of me, or bring this woman who has been purchased out of the spoil. But see — here comes Epidicus How’s this, that in gloominess his brow is wrinkled? at a distance.
EPIDICUS
to himself . If Jupiter unto himself were to take the eleven Gods beside himself, even then, all of them would not be able to rescue Epidicus from torture. I’ve seen Periphanes buying the thongs; Apæcides was together with him; now, I do believe that these persons are in search of me. They have found it out; they know that they’ve been imposed upon.
STRATIPPOCLES
coming forward . What are you about, my ready occasion?
EPIDICUS
That which a wretched fellow is about.
STRATIPPOCLES
What’s the matter with you?
EPIDICUS
Why don’t you prepare for me the necessaries for flight before I’m quite undone? For the two fleeced old gentlemen are hunting for me through the city; they are carrying in their hands handcuffs an inch and a half thick.
STRATIPPOCLES
Be of good heart ——
EPIDICUS
Of course I will, whose freedom is so close at hand.
STRATIPPOCLES
I will preserve you.
EPIDICUS
I’ faith, they’ll do it better for me, if they catch me. But who’s this young woman, this greyish old fellow, too, that’s coming along? are seen at a distance.
STRATIPPOCLES
This is the Banker, and this is the woman whom I purchased out of the spoil.
EPIDICUS
What, is this she?
STRATIPPOCLES
It is she. Isn’t she just like what I told you? Look at her.
EPIDICUS
Is it she?
STRATIPPOCLES
Survey her, Epidicus. Even from her nail to the top of her hair she is most lovely! Is she not? Do look at her! Observe her! You’ll be looking at a picture beautifully painted.
EPIDICUS
Judging from your words you are foretelling that my hide will be beautifully painted; me, whom Apelles and Zeuxis, the pair of them, will be painting with elm-tree pigments. Enter the BANKER and TELESTIS.
STRATIPPOCLES
to the BANKER. Immortal Gods! I’m surprised at your slowness. The man that’s spoken of in the proverb with swollen feet, would have got here sooner than you have arrived for me.
A BANKER.
pointing to TELESTIS . I’ faith, ’twas she delayed me.
STRATIPPOCLES
If indeed you delayed for her sake, because she wished it, you have come too quickly.
A BANKER.
Well, well, dispatch with me and count out the money, that I mayn’t be detaining my friends.
STRATIPPOCLES
It has been counted out.
A BANKER.
giving him a bag . Take this bag; put it into it.
STRATIPPOCLES
You come discreetly provided! Wait till I bring out the money to you.
A BANKER.
Make haste.
STRATIPPOCLES
It’s at home. Goes into the house of CHÆRIBULUS.
EPIDICUS
looking steadily at TELESTIS . Have I the use of my eyes quite unimpaired, or is it otherwise? Do I not behold in you, Telestis, the daughter of Periphanes, born at Thebes of your mother Philippa, and conceived at Epidaurus?
TELESTIS
What person are you who are making mention of the name of my parents and my own?
EPIDICUS
Don’t you know me?
TELESTIS
Not, indeed, so far as recurs to my mind just now.
EPIDICUS
Don’t you remember my bringing you a crescent upon your birthday, and a little gold ring for your finger? STRATIPPOCLES returns with the money.
TELESTIS
I remember it. What, are you that person?
EPIDICUS
I am, and pointing to STRATIPPOCLES, at a distance he there is your brothe
r by another mother and the same father.
TELESTIS
in agitation . What of my father? Is he alive?
EPIDICUS
Be of calm and composed feelings; hold your peace.
TELESTIS
The Gods will that from being lost I should be saved, if you speak the truth.
EPIDICUS
I have no occasion to be telling untruths to you.
STRATIPPOCLES
to the BANKER . Take this money, Banker; here are forty minæ. If any piece shall be doubtful I’ll change it. Gives him the money.
A BANKER.
You do well. Kindly farewell. (Exit.)
STRATIPPOCLES
to TELESTIS . Now then you are my own ——
TELESTIS
Why yes — sister, i’ faith, that you may know it as well. Greetings to you, brother.
STRATIPPOCLES
to EPIDICUS . Is this woman in her senses?
EPIDICUS
In her senses, if she calls you her brother.
STRATIPPOCLES
How’s this? Have I just now become her brother while going in-doors and coming out?
EPIDICUS
What good fortune there is, do you in silence keep your peace thereon and rejoice.
STRATIPPOCLES
Sister, you have both lost and found me!
EPIDICUS
Simpleton, hold your tongue! Through my endeavours, there’s ready for you at home, in fact, a Music-girl for you to make love to; I too, through my endeavours, have restored your sister to liberty.
STRATIPPOCLES
Epidicus, I confess ——
EPIDICUS
Be off into the house, and order the water to be made warm for her. The rest I’ll let you know afterwards, when there’s leisure.
STRATIPPOCLES
Follow me this way, sister.
EPIDICUS
I’ll bid Thesprio come across to you. But remember, if the old gentlemen are at all savage, you, with your sister, to run and help me.
STRATIPPOCLES
That will be easy. He and TELESTIS go into the house of PERIPHANES.
EPIDICUS
going to the door of the house of CHÆRIBULUS . Thesprio, come this way through the garden. Come to my rescue at home! The matter’s of importance! To himself. I care much less for the old fellows than I did just now. I’ll return in-doors, that the strangers may be attended to on their arrival. I’ll tell these same things that I know, in-doors to Stratippocles. I shall not take to flight; I’m determined to be there at home, and he shan’t throw it in my teeth that he has been provoked by my running away. I’ll away in-doors; I’ve been talking too long. (Goes into the house of PERIPHANES.)
Enter PERIPHANES and APÆCIDES, with thongs in their hands.