by Plautus
PERIPHIANES
Hasn’t this fellow quite made a laughing-stock of us two decrepit old people?
APAECIDES
Why yes, I’ faith, you’ve really kept me plagued in a shocking fashion.
PERIPHIANES
Now do hold your tongue. Only let me catch the fellow!
APAECIDES
I’ll tell you now, that you may know it. It’s best for you to seek another companion; so much, while I’ve been following you, has the congested blood, from weariness, come down into the knees of poor me.
PERIPHIANES
After how many fashions has this fellow made sport of me and you to-day! besides, how he has disembowelled my silver resources for me!
APAECIDES
Away with him from me; for surely he’s the son of Vulcan in his wrath: wherever he touches, he sets all on fire; if you stand by him, he scorches you with his heat. unperceived, from the house.
EPIDICUS
to himself . More than the twelve Gods, the immortal Gods as many as are in the heavens, are now assistants in my rescue, and are fighting on my side. As to whatever I have offended in, I have aid and assistance at home. All my enemies I quite spurn by the heels.
PERIPHIANES
looking about . Where in the world shall I look for him?
APAECIDES
So long as you look for him without me, you may look for him even in the middle of the sea, as far as I’m concerned.
EPIDICUS
coming forward, and addressing PERIPHANES Why are you looking for me? Why are you taking this trouble? Why are you worrying him? Pointing to APÆCIDES. See, here I am. Have I run away from you? Have I betaken myself from the house? Have I hid myself from your sight? I don’t entreat you either. Do you wish to bind me? Look then, I present my hands. Holding out his hands. You have got thongs; I saw you purchase them. Why do you delay now? Do bind me!
PERIPHIANES
It’s all over. He gives bail to me of his own accord for his appearance.
EPIDICUS
Why don’t you bind me?
APAECIDES
A wicked slave, upon my faith!
EPIDICUS
Really, Apæcides, I don’t want you to intercede for me.
APAECIDES
You easily obtain your wish, Epidicus.
EPIDICUS
to PERIPHANES . Are you going to do anything?
PERIPHIANES
What, at your pleasure?
EPIDICUS
Troth, at my own, indeed, and not at yours, are these hands to be bound by you to-day.
PERIPHIANES
But I don’t choose; I shan’t bind them.
APAECIDES
to PERIPHANES . He’s preparing to throw a dragnet over you; he’s framing some plan, I know not what.
EPIDICUS
You are causing delay to yourself, while I stand unbound; bind them, I tell you, bind them together.
PERIPHIANES
But I choose rather to question you unbound.
EPIDICUS
But you shall know nothing.
PERIPHIANES
turning to APÆCIDES . What am I to do?
APAECIDES
What are you to do? Let him be complied with.
EPIDICUS
You are a worthy person, Apæcides.
PERIPHIANES
Hold out your hands then.
EPIDICUS
holding out his hands . They don’t at all object; bind them fast together too. Don’t be afraid. PERIPHANES binds his hands. I’m submissive. When the job is done, then pronounce your judgment.
PERIPHIANES
There, that is good.
EPIDICUS
Now then, to the point, with your enquiries of me; ask me what you please.
PERIPHIANES
In the first place, with what assurance did you presume to say that she who was bought the day before yesterday was my daughter?
EPIDICUS
I chose to; on that assurance.
PERIPHIANES
Do you say so? You chose to?
EPIDICUS
I do say so. Even lay me a wager that she is not the daughter ——
PERIPHIANES
A woman whom the mother declares she doesn’t know?
EPIDICUS
Then, if she isn’t the daughter of her mother, make me a bet about it, my didrachm to your talent.
PERIPHIANES
Why, that’s a mere catch. But who is this woman?
EPIDICUS
The mistress of your son, that you may know the whole matter.
PERIPHIANES
Did I not give you the thirty minæ for my daughter?
EPIDICUS
I confess that they were given, and that with that money I purchased this Music-girl, your son’s mistress, instead of your daughter. As to those thirty minæ, in fact, I imposed upon you.
PERIPHIANES
For what reason did you play a trick upon me about that hired Music-girl?
EPIDICUS
I’ faith, I really did do it, and I think it was rightly done.
PERIPHIANES
In the last place, what has been done with the silver I gave you?
EPIDICUS
I’ll tell you; I gave it to a person neither bad nor yet good — your son Stratippocles.
PERIPHIANES
Why did you dare to give it him?
EPIDICUS
Because it pleased me.
PERIPHIANES
stamping . Plague on it! what insolence is this?
EPIDICUS
Am I to be bawled at just as if I were a slave?
PERIPHIANES
ironically . As you are a free man, I rejoice.
EPIDICUS
I have deserved to become so.
PERIPHIANES
You — deserved?
EPIDICUS
Go look in-doors; I’ll let you know that this is the truth.
PERIPHIANES
What’s the matter?
EPIDICUS
The thing itself will tell you so at once. Only do go in-doors.
PERIPHIANES
Aye, aye! this is not without its meaning. Do you keep an eye on him, Apæcides. Goes into his house.
APAECIDES
What’s the meaning of this, Epidicus?
EPIDICUS
I’ faith, it’s with the greatest injustice that I’m standing here bound, through whose aid his daughter has been discovered to-day.
APAECIDES
Do you say that you have found his daughter?
EPIDICUS
I have found her, and she is at home. But how hard it is, when, for services done, you reap a harvest of evil.
APAECIDES
What, her whom this day we’ve both been weary with seeking throughout the city?
EPIDICUS
I’m weary with finding, you weary with seeking. from the house.
PERIPHIANES
at the door, to those within . Why do you entreat me thus earnestly in his behalf? For I find that he does deserve that I should be pleased to act according to his deserts. To EPIDICUS. Hold out your hands, you, that I may unbind them.
EPIDICUS
Don’t you touch them.
PERIPHIANES
But do you present them to me.
EPIDICUS
I don’t choose.
PERIPHIANES
You don’t do right.
EPIDICUS
Upon my faith, I’ll never allow myself to be unbound this day, unless you give me satisfaction.
PERIPHIANES
You ask what’s very fair and very just. Shoes, a tunic, and a cloak I’ll give you.
EPIDICUS
What next, after that?
PERIPHIANES
Your freedom.
EPIDICUS
But after that? There’s need for a new-made freed-man to pick a bit.
PERIPHIANES
It shall be given; I’ll find you food.
On my word, never this day shall you release me, unless you beg my pardon.
PERIPHIANES
I do entreat you, Epidicus, to forgive me, if unawares in fault I’ve done anything wrong. But by way of return for this matter, be a free man.
EPIDICUS
Against my inclination do I grant you this pardon, but I’m compelled by necessity. Unbind them then, if you choose. He holds out his hands, which are unbound by PERIPHANES, and they go into his house. coming forward.
This is that man who by his roguery has gained his freedom. Clap your hands, and fare you well! Stretch your loins, and rise from your seats.
MENAECHMI
Translated by Henry Thomas Riley
Considered by some to be Plautus’ most accomplished drama, Menaechmi is a comedy about mistaken identity, involving a set of twins, Menaechmus of Epidamnus and Menaechmus of Syracuse. It incorporates various Roman stock characters including the parasite, the courtesan, the cunning slave, the domineering wife, the doddering father-in-law and the quack doctor. As with most of Plautus’ plays, much of the dialogue was in fact sung.
The plot introduces Moschus’ twin sons, Menaechmus and Sosicles. Moschus decides to take only one of the twins, Menaechmus, with him on a business trip, while the twins are still young. During the trip, Menaechmus is abducted and adopted by a businessman that lives in Epidamnus, separating the twins. Their father dies of sorrow and their grandfather changes Sosicles’ name to Menaechmus (i.e., Menaechmus of Syracuse). When the twins are grown to manhood, Menaechmus of Syracuse sets out in search of his brother. He arrives in Epidamnus, unaware that his twin brother is there also.
The play was a major source for William Shakespeare’s The Comedy of Errors, which was subsequently adapted for the musical theatre by Rodgers and Hart in The Boys from Syracuse. A similar line of influence was Carlo Goldoni’s 1747 play I due gemelli veneziani (The Two Venetian twins) (also adapted as The Venetian Twins in 1979).
CONTENTS
THE SUBJECT.
THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT.
THE PROLOGUE.
ACT I.
ACT II.
ACT III.
ACT IV.
ACT V.
THE SUBJECT.
MOSCHUS, a merchant of Syracuse, had two twin sons who exactly resembled each other. One of these, whose name was Menaechmus, when a child, accompanied his father to Tarentum, at which place he was stolen and carried away to Epidamnus, where in course of time he has married a wealthy wife. Disagreements, however, arising with her, he forms an acquaintance with the Courtesan Erotium, and is in the habit of presenting her with clothes and jewels which he pilfers from his wife. The original name of the other twin-brother was Sosicles, but on the loss of Menaechmus, the latter name has been substituted by their grandfather for Sosicles, in remembrance of the lost child. Menaechmus Sosicles, on growing to manhood, determines to seek his lost brother. Having wandered for six years, lie arrives at Epidamnus, attended by his servant, Messenio. In consequence of his resemblance to his brother, many curious and laughable mistakes happen between him and the Courtesan Erotium, the wife of Menaechmus of Epidamnus, the Cook Cylindrus, the Parasite Peniculus, the father-in-law of Menaechmus of Epidamnus, and lastly Messenio himself. At length, through the agency of the latter, the brothers recognize each other; on which Messenio receives his liberty, and Menaechmus of Epidamnus resolves to make sale of his possessions and to return to Syracuse, his native place.
THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT.
[Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian.]
A SICILIAN merchant (Mercator) who had two sons, on one being stolen from him (Ei), ended his life. As a name (Nomen) for him who is at home, his paternal grandfather (Avus) gives him that of Menaechmus instead of Sosicles. And (Et) he, as soon as he is grown up, goes to seek his brother about (Circum) all countries. At last he comes to Epidamnus; hither (Huc) the one that was stoien has been carried. All think that the stranger, Menaechmus (Menaechmum), is their fellow-citizen, and address him (Eum) as such: Courtesan, wife, and father-in-law. There (Ibi) at last the brothers mutually recognize each other.
THE PROLOGUE.
Prologus
In the first place now, Spectators, at the commencement, do I wish health and happiness to myself and to you.I bring you Plautus, with my tongue, not with my hand: I beg that you will receive him with favouring ears. Now learn the argument, and give your attention; in as few words as possible will I be brief. And, in fact, this subject is a Greek one; still, it is not an Attic, but a Sicilian one. But in their Comedies the poets do this; they feign that all the business takes place at Athens, in order that it may appear the more Grecian to you. I will not tell you that this matter happened anywhere except where it is said to have happened. This has been my preface to the subject of this play. Now will I give the subject, meted out to you, not in a measure, nor yet in a threefold measure, but in the granary itself; so great is my heartiness in telling you the plot.
There was a certain aged man, a merchant at Syracuse; to him two sons were born, twins, children so like in appearance that their own foster-mother, who gave the breast, was not able to distinguish them, nor even the mother herself who had given them birth; as a person, indeed, informed me who had seen the children; I never saw them, let no one of you fancy so. After the children were now seven years old, the father freighted a large ship with much merchandize. The father put one of the twins on board the ship, and took him away, together with himself, to traffic at Tarentum; the other one he left with his mother at home. By accident, there were games at Tarentum when he came there: many persons, as generally happens at the games, had met together; the child strayed away there from his father among the people. A certain merchant of Epidamnus was there; he picked up the child, and carried it away to Epidamnus. But its father, after he had lost the child, took it heavily to heart, and through grief at it he died a few days after at Tarentum. Now, after news reached the grandfather of the children at home about this matter, how that one of the children had been stolen, the grandfather changed the name of that other twin. So much did he love that one which had been stolen, that he gave his name to the one that was at home. That you may not mistake hereafter, I tell you then this beforehand; the name of both the twin-brothers is the same. He gave the same name of Menaechmus to this one as the other had; and by the same name the grandfather himself was called. I remember his name the more easily for the reason that I saw him cried with much noise. Now must I speed back on foot to Epidamnus, that I may exactly disclose this matter to you. If any one of you wishes anything to be transacted for him at Epidamnus, command me boldly and speak out; but on these terms, that he give me the means by which it may be transacted for him. For unless a person gives the money, he will be mistaken; in a lower tone except that he who does give it will be very much more mistaken. But I have returned to that place whence I set forth, and yet I am standing in the self-same spot. This person of Epidamnus, whom I mentioned just now, that stole that other twin child, had no children, except his wealth. He adopted as his son the child so carried off, and gave him a well-portioned wife, and made him his heir when he himself died. For as, by chance, he was going into the country, when it had rained heavily, entering, not far from the city, a rapid stream, in its rapidity it threw the ravisher of the child off his legs; and hurried the man away to great and grievous destruction. And so a very large fortune fell to that youth. Here pointing to the house does the stolen twin now dwell. Now that twin, who dwells at Syracuse, has come this day to Epidamnus with his servant to make enquiry for this own twin-brother of his. This is the city of Epidamnus while this play is acting; when another shall be acted, it will become another town; just as our companies, too, are wont to be shifted about. The same person now acts the procurer, now the youth, now the old man, the pauper, the beggar, the king, the parasite, the soothsayer ...
ACT I.
Enter PENICULUS.
PENICULUS
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The young men have given me the name of Peniculus, for this reason, because when I eat, I wipe the tables clean. ... The persons who bind captives with chains, and who put fetters upon runaway slaves, act very foolishly, in my opinion at least. For if bad usage is added to his misfortune for a wretched man, the greater is his inclination to run away and to do amiss. For by some means or other do they release themselves from the chains; while thus fettered, they either wear away a link with a file, or else with a stone they knock out the nail; ’tis a mere trifle this. He whom you wish to keep securely that he may not run away, with meat and with drink ought he to be chained; do you bind down the mouth of a man to a full table. So long as you give him what to eat and what to drink at his own pleasure in abundance every day, i’ faith he’ll never run away, even if he has committed an offence that’s capital; easily will you secure him so long as you shall bind him with such chains. So very supple are these chains of food, the more you stretch them so much the more tightly do they bind. But now I’m going directly to Menaechmus; whither for this long time I have been sentenced, thither of my own accord I am going, that he may enchain me. For, by my troth, this man does not nourish persons, but he quite rears and reinvigorates them; no one administers medicine more agreably. Such is this young man; himself with a very well-stocked larder, he gives dinners fit for Ceres; so does he heap the tables up, and piles so vast of dishes does he arrange, you must stand on your couch if you wish for anything at the top. But I have now had an interval these many days, while I’ve been lording it at home all along together with my dear ones; — for nothing do I eat or purchase but what it is most dear. But inasmuch as dear ones, when they are provided, are in the habit of forsaking us, I am now paying him a visit. But his door is opening; and see, 1 perceive Menaechmus himself; he is coming out of doors.
Enter MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus, from his house.
MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.
speaking at the door to his WIFE within . Unless you were worthless, unless you were foolish, unless you were stark wild and an idiot, that which you see is disagreable to your husband, you would deem to be so to yourself as well. Moreover, if after this day you do any such thing to me, I’ll force you, a divorced woman, turned out of my doors to go visit your father. For as often as I wish to go out of the house, you are detaining me, calling me back, asking me questions; whither I am going, what matter I am about, what business I am transacting, what I am wanting, what I am bringing, what I have been doing out of doors? I’ve surely brought home a custom-house officer as my wife; so much am I obliged to disclose all my business, whatever I have done and am doing. I’ve had you hitherto indulged too much. Now, therefore, I’ll tell you how I am about to act. Since I find you handsomely in maids, provisions, wool, gold trinkets, garments, and purple, and you are wanting in nought, you’ll beware of a mischief if you’re wise; you’ll leave off watching your husband. In a lower voice. And therefore, that you mayn’t be watching me in vain, for your pains I shall find me a mistress to-day, and invite her to dinner somewhere out of doors.