Complete Works of Plautus
Page 53
EUTYCHUS
Can’t you possibly be attending to something else?
CHARINUS
It isn’t possible.
EUTYCHUS
going . Kindly fare you well.
CHARINUS
I’ faith, I cannot fare well, before you come back to me.
EUTYCHUS
To better purpose, recover your senses.
CHARINUS
Farewell, and prevail, and be my preserver.
EUTYCHUS
I’ll do so. Wait for me at home.
CHARINUS
Do you take care, then, to betake yourself back just now with the booty. (Exit EUTYCHUS, and CHARINUS goes into DEMIPHO’S house.)
ACT III.
Enter LYSIMACHUS, with PASICOMPSA, weeping.
LYSIMACHUS
to himself . I’ve lent my assistance to my friend in a friendly manner; this piece of goods, which my neighbour requested me, I’ve purchased. Turning to PASICOMPSA. You are my own; then follow me. Don’t weep. You are acting very foolishly; spoiling such eyes. Why, really you have more reason to laugh than to be crying.
PASICOMPSA
In the name of heaven, prithee, my good old gentleman, do tell me ——
LYSIMACHUS
Ask me what you please.
PASICOMPSA
Why have you bought me?
LYSIMACHUS
What, I, bought you? For you to do what you are bidden; in like manner what you bid me, I’ll do.
PASICOMPSA
I am determined, to the best of my ability and skill, to do what I shall think you desire.
LYSIMACHUS
I shall bid you do nothing of laborious work.
PASICOMPSA
Why, really, for my part, my good old gentleman, I haven’t learnt, i’ faith, to carry burdens, or to feed cattle at the farm, or to nurse children.
LYSIMACHUS
If you choose to be a good girl, it shall be well for you.
PASICOMPSA
Then, i’ faith, to my sorrow, I’m undone.
LYSIMACHUS
Why so?
PASICOMPSA
Because in the place from which I have been conveyed hither, it used to be well with the worthless.
LYSIMACHUS
aside . By my troth, her talk alone is worth more than the sum that she was purchased at. To PASICOMPSA. As though you would say that no woman is good.
PASICOMPSA
Indeed I don’t say so; nor is it my way, to say a thing which I believe all people are acquainted with.
LYSIMACHUS
I want to ask this one thing of you.
PASICOMPSA
I’ll answer you when you ask.
LYSIMACHUS
What say you now? What am I to say your name is?
PASICOMPSA
Pasicompsa.
LYSIMACHUS
The name was given you from your good looks. But what say you, Pasicompsa? Can you, if occasion should arise, spin a fine woof?
PASICOMPSA
I can.
LYSIMACHUS
If you know how to do a fine one, I’m sure you can spin a coarser one.
PASICOMPSA
For spinning, I fear no woman that’s of the same age.
LYSIMACHUS
Upon my faith, I take it that you are good and industrious, since, young woman, now that you are grown up, you know how to do your duty.
PASICOMPSA
I’ faith, I learned it from a skilful mistress. I won’t let my work be called in question.
LYSIMACHUS
Well, thus the matter stands, i’ faith. Look now, I’ll give you a sheep for your own, one sixty years old.
PASICOMPSA
My good old gentleman, one so old as that?
LYSIMACHUS
It’s of the Grecian breed. If you take care of it, it is a very good one; it is shorn very easily.
PASICOMPSA
For the sake of the compliment, whatever it is that shall be given me, I shall receive it with thanks.
LYSIMACHUS
Now, damsel, that you mayn’t be mistaken, you are not mine; so don’t think it.
PASICOMPSA
Prithee, tell me, then, whose I am?
LYSIMACHUS
You’ve been bought back for your own master. I’ve bought you back for him; he requested me to do so.
PASICOMPSA
My spirits have returned, if good faith is kept with me.
LYSIMACHUS
Be of good courage; this person will give you your liberty. I’ troth, he did so dote upon you this day as soon as ever he had seen you.
PASICOMPSA
I’ faith, it’s now two years since he commenced his connexion with me. Now, as I’m sure that you are a friend of his, I’ll disclose it.
LYSIMACHUS
How say you? Is it now two years since he formed the connexion with you?
PASICOMPSA
Certainly, it is; and we agreed, on oath, between ourselves, I with him, and he with me, that I would never have intercourse with any man except himself, nor he with any woman except myself.
LYSIMACHUS
Immortal Gods! Isn’t he even to sleep with his wife?
PASICOMPSA
Prithee, is he a married man? He neither is nor will he be.
LYSIMACHUS
Indeed, I wish he wasn’t. I’ faith, the fellow has been committing perjury.
PASICOMPSA
No young man do I more ardently love.
LYSIMACHUS
Why, really he’s a child, you simpleton; for, in fact, it’s not so very long a time since his teeth fell out.
PASICOMPSA
What? His teeth?
LYSIMACHUS
It’s no matter? Follow me this way, please; he requested that I would find you room for one day in my house, since my wife is away in the country. He goes into his house, followed by PASICOMPSA.
Enter DEMIPHO.
DEMIPHO
to himself . At last I’ve managed to ruin myself; a mistress has been purchased for me without the knowledge of my wife and son. I’m resolved on it; I’ll have recourse again to former habits and enjoy myself. In my allotment of existence, almost now run through, the little that there remains of life, I’ll cheer up with pleasure, wine, and love. For it’s quite proper for this time of life to enjoy itself. When you are young, then, when the blood is fresh, it’s right to devote your exertions to acquiring your fortune; and then when at last, you are an old man, you may set yourself at your ease; drink, and be amorous; this, the fact that you are living, is now so much profit. This, as I say, I’ll carry out in deed. Turning to his house. Meanwhile, however, I’ll take a look in-doors here at my house; my wife has been some time expecting me at home quite hungry: now, she’ll be worrying me to death with her scolding, if I go in-doors. But, in fine, whatever comes of it, i’ faith, I’ll not go, but I’ll first meet this neighbour of mine before I return home; I want him to hire some house for me, where this damsel may dwell. And, see, he’s coming out of doors.
Enter LYSIMACHUS, from his house.
LYSIMACHUS
to PASICOMPSA, within . I’ll bring him to you directly, if I meet him.
DEMIPHO
behind . He’s meaning me.
LYSIMACHUS
turning about . How say you, Demipho?
DEMIPHO
Is the damsel at your house?
LYSIMACHUS
What do you suppose?
DEMIPHO
What if I go see her? Moves towards the house.
LYSIMACHUS
Why making such haste? Stay.
DEMIPHO
What am I to do?
LYSIMACHUS
What you ought to do; take care and consider.
DEMIPHO
Consider what? Why troth, for my own part, I think there’s need for my doing this, going in-doors there, I mean.
LYSIMACHUS
What, is it so, you old wether? Wou
ld you be going in?
DEMIPHO
What should I do else?
LYSIMACHUS
First listen to this, and attend; there’s something even before this that I think it proper you should do. For if you now go in-doors to her, you’ll be wishing to embrace her, chatting with her, and kissing her.
DEMIPHO
Really you know my feelings; you understand what I would be at.
LYSIMACHUS
You will be doing wrong.
DEMIPHO
What, with that which you love?
LYSIMACHUS
So much the less reason. Would you, full of hungriness, with a foul breath, a stinking old fellow, be kissing a woman? And wouldn’t you, as you approached, be setting a female vomiting?
DEMIPHO
I’ faith, I’m sure that you’re in love, as you point out these things beforehand to me. What then, if I give a dinner? If you approve of this, let’s lay hold of some cook, who may be cooking away a meal here at your house, even until the evening.
LYSIMACHUS
Well, I’m of that way of thinking. Now you are talking wisely, and like a lover.
DEMIPHO
Why are we standing here? Why then don’t we be off and procure the provisions, that we may be comfortable?
LYSIMACHUS
For my part, I’ll follow you. And, i’ troth, you’ll be finding out a lodging for her, if you are prudent; for, i’ faith, she shan’t be at my house a single day beyond the present; I’m afraid of my wife, lest, if she should return from the country to-morrow, she’ll be finding her here. (Exeunt.)
Enter CHARINUS, from DEMIPHO’s house.
CHARINUS
to himself . Am I not a wretched mortal, who can rest quietly nowhere? If I’m at home, my mind’s abroad; but if I’m abroad, my mind’s at home. To such a degree. has love kindled a flame in my breast and in my heart; did not the tears fall from my eyes, why then, I doubt, my head would be on fire. I cling to hope; safety I’ve lost; whether she’ll return or no, I know not. If my father seizes her, as he has said, then my welfare is gone in exile; but if my companion has done what he promised, then my welfare has not departed. But still, even if Eutychus had had gouty feet, he could have been back from the harbour by this. This is a very great fault of his, that he is too slow, against the wishes of my feelings. But looking towards the side isn’t this he whom I espy running? ’Tis he himself; I’ll go meet him. Clasps his hands. Thou who art the overlooker of Gods and of men and the mistress of mortals as well, inasmuch as thou hast indulged me in this hope that I entertained, I do return thee thanks. Does any hope remain? Alas! I’m utterly undone. His countenance by no means pleases me! He moves along in sadness. My breast burns. I am in doubt. He shakes his head. Eutychus! Enter EUTYCHUS.
EUTYCHUS
Alas! Charinus. He pants.
CHARINUS
Before you take breath, in one word, speak out. Where am I? Here, or among the dead?
EUTYCHUS
You are neither among the dead nor here.
CHARINUS
I’m saved, immortality has been vouchsafed me — he has purchased her. He has nicely tricked my father. There’s no one living more clever at gaining his purpose. Prithee, do tell me; if I’m neither here nor at Acheron, where am I?
EUTYCHUS
Nowhere in the world.
CHARINUS
I’m utterly undone! That speech has just put an end to me here. Whatever it is, do come to the material points of the matter.
EUTYCHUS
First of all, we are ruined.
CHARINUS
But why don’t you in preference tell me that which I don’t know? It is an annoying way of speaking, when you should despatch the business, to be beating about the bush.
EUTYCHUS
The damsel has been taken away from you.
CHARINUS
Eutychus, you are guilty of a capital offence.
EUTYCHUS
How so?
CHARINUS
Because you are killing your year’s-mate and friend, a free citizen.
EUTYCHUS
May the Gods forbid it!
CHARINUS
You’ve thrust a sword into my throat; this moment I shall fall.
EUTYCHUS
Troth now, prithee, don’t be desponding in mind.
CHARINUS
I have none to be desponding in. Tell on, then, the rest of your bad news; for whom has she been purchased?
EUTYCHUS
I don’t know. She had been already knocked down to the bidder and taken off by him, when I got to the harbour.
CHARINUS
Ah me! Already, indeed, have you heaped burning mountains of woe upon me. Proceed, executioner, torment me on, since you have once begun.
EUTYCHUS
This is not more a cause of anguish to yourself, than it has proved to me this day.
CHARINUS
Tell me, who bought her?
BUT.
I’ faith, I do not know.
CHARINUS
Well, is this a good friend giving one his aid?
EUTYCHUS
What would you have me do?
CHARINUS
The same that you see me doing, die with grief. But did you make enquiry, what was the appearance of the person that had bought her? Perhaps the damsel might have been traced out by that means.
EUTYCHUS
Ah! wretch that I am ——
CHARINUS
Do cease lamenting; attend to that which you are now about.
EUTYCHUS
What have I done?
CHARINUS
Proved the destruction of myself, and with myself of your own word.
EUTYCHUS
The Gods know that that is not any fault of mine.
CHARINUS
A fine thing, indeed! You mention the Gods, who are absent, as witnesses; how am I to believe you in that?
EUTYCHUS
Why, it rests with your own self what to believe; with myself, what to say, that rests with me.
CHARINUS
On that point you are ready, so as to give answer like for like; but as to what you are requested, you are lame, blind, dumb, defective, and weak. You promised that you would trick my father; I myself supposed that I was entrusting the matter to a skilful person, and I entrusted it to an utter stone.
EUTYCHUS
What could I do?
CHARINUS
What could you do, do you ask me? You should have enquired, and asked who he was or whence he was, of what lineage; whether he was a citizen or a foreigner ——
EUTYCHUS
They said that he was a citizen of Attica.
CHARINUS
At least, you should have found out where he lives, if you couldn’t the name.
EUTYCHUS
No person was able to say he knew.
CHARINUS
But at least you should have enquired what was the appearance of the man.
EUTYCHUS
I did do so.
CHARINUS
Of what figure, then, did they say he was?
EUTYCHUS
I’ll tell you: grey-headed, bandy-legged, pot-bellied, wide-mouthed, of stunted figure, with darkish eyes, lank jaws, splay-footed rather.
CHARINUS
You are mentioning to me not a human being, but a whole storehouse, I don’t know what, of deformities. Is there anything else that you can tell about him?
EUTYCHUS
It is just as much as I know.
CHARINUS
I’ troth, for sure, with his lank jaws he has caused my jaw to drop. I cannot endure it; I’m determined that I’ll go hence in exile. But what state in especial to repair to, I’m in doubt; Megara, Eretria, Corinth, Chalcis, Crete, Cyprus, Sicyon, Cnidos, Zacynthus, Lesbos, or Bœotia.
EUTYCHUS
Why are you adopting that design?
CHARINUS
Why, because love is tormenting me.
/> EUTYCHUS
What say you as to this? Suppose, if when you have arrived there, whither you are now intending to go, you begin there to fall desperately in love, and there, too, you fail of success, then you’ll be taking flight from there as well, and after that, again, from another place, if the same shall happen, what bounds, pray, will be set to your exile, what limits to your flight? What country or home can possibly be certain for you? Tell me that. Say now, if you leave this city, do you fancy that you’ll leave your love here behind? If it is so fully taken as certain in your mind that so it will be, if you hold that as a point resolved upon, how much better is it for you to go away somewhere in the country, to be there, to live there, until the time when desire for her and passion have set you at liberty?
CHARINUS
Have you now said your say?
EUTYCHUS
I have said it.
CHARINUS
You have said it to no purpose; this is my full determination. I’ll be off home, to pay my duty to my father and my mother; after that, unknown to my father, I’ll fly from this country, or adopt some other plan. Goes into DEMIPHO’S house, leaving EUTYCHUS alone
EUTYCHUS
to himself . How suddenly he has taken himself off and gone away. Ah! wretch that I am! if he goes away, all will say that it has happened through my remissness. I’m determined at once to order as many criers as possible to be hired to search for her to find her; after that, I’ll go to the Prætor forthwith, and beg him to give me search-warrant officers in all the quarters of the city; for I find that nothing else whatever is now left for me to do. (Exit.)
ACT IV.
Enter DORIPPA.
DORIPPA
to herself . Since a messenger came to me in the country from my husband, that he couldn’t come into the country, I made up my mind, and came back to follow after him who fled from me. But looking round I don’t see our old woman Syra following. Aye, look, there she comes at last. with a bundle of green sprigs.
DORIPPA
Why don’t you go quicker?
SYRA
By my troth, I cannot; so great is this burden that I’m carrying.
DORIPPA
What burden?
SYRA
Fourscore years and four, and to that are added servitude, sweat, and thirst; these things as well which I am carrying weigh me down.
DORIPPA
Give me something, Syra, with which to decorate this altar of our neighbour.
SYRA
holding out a sprig . Present this sprig of laurel, then. DOR. Now do you go into the house.
SYRA
I’m going. Goes into the house of LYSIMACHUS.