Complete Works of Plautus
Page 54
DORIPPA
laying the sprig on the altar . Apollo, I pray thee that thou wilt propitiously grant peace, safety, and health, unto our household, and that in thy propitiousness thou wilt show favour to my son. rushes out of the house, clapping her hands.
SYRA
I’m utterly undone! Wretch that I am, I’m ruined! Ah! wretched me!
DORIPPA
Prithee, are you quite in your senses? What are you howling for?
SYRA
Dorippa, my dear Dorippa!
DORIPPA
Prithee, why are you crying out?
SYRA
Some woman, I know not who, is here in-doors in the house.
DORIPPA
What? A woman?
SYRA
A harlot woman.
DORIPPA
Is it so, really?
SYRA
In serious truth. You know how to act very prudently, in not remaining in the country. A fool even could have found it out that she was the mistress of your very pretty husband.
DORIPPA
By heavens, I believe it.
SYRA
taking her arm . Step this way with me, that you, my Juno, may see as well your rival Alcmena.
DORIPPA
I’ troth, I certainly shall go there, as fast as I can. They go into the house of LYSIMACHUS.
Enter LYSIMACHUS.
LYSIMACHUS
to himself . Is this too little of a misfortune that Demipho’s in love, that he must be extravagant as well? If he had been inviting ten men of highest rank to dinner, he has provided too much. But the cooks he directed in such a way just as at sea the time-keeper is wont to direct the rowers. I hired a Cook myself, but I’m surprised that he hasn’t come as I directed him. But who’s this, I wonder, that’s coming out of my house? The door’s opening. He stands aside.
Enter DORIPPA, from the house of LYSIMACHUS.
DORIPPA
weeping . No woman ever will be, or ever has been, more wretched than myself in being married to such a husband. Alas! unhappy that I am! Just see, to what a husband have you committed yourself and the property you have! Just see, to what a person I brought ten talents for a portion; that I should see these things, that I should endure these insults.
LYSIMACHUS
behind . I’ troth, I’m undone; my wife’s returned from the country already. I do believe she has seen the damsel in the house. But what she says I cannot distinctly hear from hence; I’ll go nearer to her. Approaches her.
DORIPPA
Ah! woe to wretched me!
LYSIMACHUS
behind . Aye, and to me as well.
DORIPPA
I’m utterly undone!
LYSIMACHUS
behind . As for me, i’ faith, to my sorrow I’m downright undone! she has seen her. May all the Gods confound you, Demipho!
DORIPPA
I’ troth, this was it, why my husband wouldn’t go into the country.
LYSIMACHUS
behind . What shall I do now, but go up and speak to her? Goes up to her. The husband bids health to his wife. Are the country people becoming townsfolk?
DORIPPA
They are acting more decently than those who are not become country people.
LYSIMACHUS
Are the people in the country at all in fault?
DORIPPA
I’ faith, less so than the townsfolk, and much less mischief do they meet with for themselves.
LYSIMACHUS
But in what have the townsfolk done wrong? Tell me that.
DORIPPA
Whose woman is that in the house?
LYSIMACHUS
What, have you seen her?
DORIPPA
I have seen her.
LYSIMACHUS
Whose is she, do you ask?
DORIPPA
I shall find out, in spite of you; i’ faith, I long to know. But you are trying me on purpose.
LYSIMACHUS
Do you wish me to tell you whose she is? She, she —— Aside. Ah me! upon my faith, I don’t know what to say.
DORIPPA
Do you hesitate?
LYSIMACHUS
aside . I never saw one who did it more.
DORIPPA
But why don’t you tell me?
LYSIMACHUS
Nay, but if I may ——
DORIPPA
You ought to tell me.
LYSIMACHUS
I cannot, you hurry me so; you press me as though were guilty.
DORIPPA
ironically . I know you are free from all guilt.
LYSIMACHUS
Speak out as boldly as you please.
DORIPPA
Tell me, then.
LYSIMACHUS
I, tell you?
DORIPPA
Why, it must be told, in spite of everything.
LYSIMACHUS
She is —— Do you wish me tell her name as well?
DORIPPA
You are trifling. I’ve caught you in the fact; you are guilty.
LYSIMACHUS
Guilty of what? If now I had no occasion for silence, now I shouldn’t tell you. Why, this same woman is —
DORIPPA
Who is she?
LYSIMACHUS
She ——
DORIPPA
Marry, come up! don’t you know who she is?
LYSIMACHUS
Why, yes, I do know. I’ve been chosen as an arbitrator with respect to her.
DORIPPA
An arbitrator? Now I know; you have invited her here to consult with you.
LYSIMACHUS
Why no; she has been given me as a deposit.
DORIPPA
ironically . I understand.
LYSIMACHUS
By my troth, it’s not anything of that sort.
DORIPPA
You are clearing yourself too soon.
LYSIMACHUS
aside . Too much of a business have I met with; really I’m stuck fast.
Enter a COOK, at a distance, with SCULLIONS and provisions.
A COOK.
Make haste, get quickly on, for I’ve got to cook a dinner for an old gentleman in love. And, in fact, when I think of it again, it’s to be cooked for ourselves, not him for whom we’ve been hired: for a person that’s in love, if he has that with which he is in love, he esteems that as food, to see her, embrace her, kiss her, chat with her; but we, I trust, shall return well laden home. Step this way. But see, here’s the old gentleman that hired us.
LYSIMACHUS
aside . Why, look! I’m undone! here’s the Cook.
A COOK.
going up to LYSIMACHUS . We are come.
LYSIMACHUS
Be off!
A COOK.
How, be off?
LYSIMACHUS
in a low voice . Hush! Be off!
A COOK.
What, I, be off?
LYSIMACHUS
Be off, I say.
A COOK.
Are you not going to have a dinner?
LYSIMACHUS
We are full already.
DORIPPA
But ——
LYSIMACHUS
aside . I’m utterly undone.
DORIPPA
What say you? Have those persons ordered these things to be brought to you as well, between whom you were appointed arbitrator?
A COOK.
Is this person pointing to DORIPPA your mistress, whom a little time since you told me you were in love with, when you were buying the provisions?
LYSIMACHUS
Won’t you hold your tongue?
A COOK.
A very pretty figure of a woman.! I’ faith, she does love a sweetheart.
LYSIMACHUS
Won’t you be off to perdition?
A COOK.
She’s not amiss.
LYSIMACHUS
But you are amiss.
A COOK.
I’ troth
, I do fancy she’s a nice bed-fellow.
LYSIMACHUS
Won’t you be off? I’m not the person that hired you just now.
A COOK.
How’s that? Nay but, upon my faith, you are that very man.
LYSIMACHUS
aside . Alas wretch that I am!
A COOK.
Your wife’s in the country, I suppose, whom you were saying a little time ago you hated full as much as vipers.
LYSIMACHUS
I, said that to you?
A COOK.
Aye, to me, upon my faith.
LYSIMACHUS
So may Jupiter love me, wife, I never did say that.
DORIPPA
Do you deny that as well?
A COOK.
to DORIPPA . He didn’t say he hated you, but his wife.
DORIPPA
This is made clear, that you detest me.
LYSIMACHUS
But I deny it.
A COOK.
And he said that his wife was in the country.
LYSIMACHUS
pointing to DORIPPA . This is she. Why are you annoying me?
A COOK.
Because you say that you don’t know me. Are you afraid of her?
LYSIMACHUS
I’m wise in being so; for she’s my only companion.
A COOK.
Do you wish to use my services?
LYSIMACHUS
I don’t wish.
A COOK.
Give me my pay.
LYSIMACHUS
Ask for it to-morrow; it shall be given you; for the present, be off. Aside. Alas, wretch that I am! I now find that that old saying is a true one, that some bad comes through a bad neighbour.
A COOK.
to the SCULLIONS . Why are we standing here?
LYSIMACHUS
Why don’t you be gone?
A COOK.
aside to LYSIMACHUS . If any inconvenience happens to you, that’s not my fault.
LYSIMACHUS
aside to the COOK . Why, you are utterly ruining wretched me
A COOK.
aside to LYSIMACHUS . I understand now what you want. You mean, you wish me to go away from here.
LYSIMACHUS
aside to the COOK . I do wish it, I say.
A COOK.
aside to LYSIMACHUS . I’ll be off. Pay me a drachma.
LYSIMACHUS
aside to the COOK . It shall be paid.
A COOK.
aside to LYSIMACHUS . Then order it to be paid me, please. It can be paid in the meantime, while they are putting down the provisions.
LYSIMACHUS
aside to the COOK . Why don’t you be off? Can’t you cease being troublesome? Slips the money into his hand.
A COOK.
to the SCULLIONS . Come, do you set down those provisions before the feet of that old gentleman. These baskets I’ll order to be fetched from your house either by-and-by or else to-morrow. To the SCULLIONS. Do you follow me. Exeunt, having set down the provisions.
LYSIMACHUS
Perhaps you are surprised at that Cook, that he came and brought these things. I’ll tell you why it is.
DORIPPA
I’m not surprised if you do anything wrongful or criminal; and, by heavens, I’ll not put up with it, that I am married thus unfortunately, and that harlots are brought into my house in this way. Syra, go ask my father, in my name, to come here directly together with you.
SYRA
I’ll go.
LYSIMACHUS
Prithee, wife, you don’t know what the matter is. In set form now will I make oath, that I have never had anything to do with her. Exit SYRA. What, is Syra gone now? By heaven, I’m undone! DORIPPA goes into the house.
LYSIMACHUS
to himself . But, see, she’s off as well! Woe to wretched me! Then, neighbour Demipho, may the Gods and Goddesses confound you, together with your mistress and your intriguings! He has most unjustly loaded me with suspicions; he has stirred up enemies against me. At home my wife is most infuriated. I’ll be off to the Forum, and tell this to Demipho, that I’ll drag this woman by the hair into the street, unless he takes her hence out of this house wherever he chooses. Goes to the door and calls. Hark you! wife, wife! although you’re angry at me, you’ll order, if you are wise, these things to be carried hence indoors. We shall be able by-and-by to dine all the better upon the same.
Enter SYRA and EUTYCHUS, at a distance, on opposite sides.
SYRA
to herself . Whither my mistress sent me, to her father —— , he’s not at home; they said that he has gone off into the country. Now, I’ll take home this answer. I’ faith, the women do live upon hard terms, and, wretched creatures, on much more unjust ones than the men. For if a husband has been keeping a mistress without the knowledge of his wife, if the wife comes to know it, the husband gets off with impunity; if, unknown to the husband, the wife goes from the house out of doors, a pretext arises for the husband, the marriage is dissolved. I wish the law was the same for the husband as for the wife; for the wife that is a good one, is content with one husband; why, any the less, should the husband be content with one wife? By my troth, I’d give cause, if men were punished in the same way (if any one should be keeping a mistress unknown to his wife), as those women are repudiated who are guilty of a slip, that there should be more divorced men than there are women now.
EUTYCHUS
to himself, apart . I’m quite tired with hunting the whole city through; I find nothing whatever about this woman. But my mother has returned from the country; for I see Syra standing before the house. Syra!
SYRA
Who is it that’s calling me?
EUTYCHUS
’Tis I, your master and foster-child.
SYRA
turning round . Save you, my foster-child. EUT. Has my mother returned from the country then? Answer me.
SYRA
Aye, for her own especial sake and that of the family.
EUTYCHUS
What is it that’s the matter?
SYRA
That very pretty father of yours has brought a mistress into the house.
EUTYCHUS
How say you?
SYRA
Your mother, on arriving from the country, found her at home.
EUTYCHUS
By my troth, I didn’t think my father was a person for those practices. Is the woman now even still in-doors?
SYRA
Even still.
EUTYCHUS
Do you follow me. He goes into the house of LYSIMACHUS.
[
SYRA
to herself . How now? Do I see Peristrata here, the wife of Demipho? She quickens her pace; she glances about with her eyes; she turns herself round; she inclines her neck on one side. I’ll observe from here what matter she’s about; it’s something of importance, whatever scent she’s upon. Stands aside.
Enter PERISTRATA and LYCISSA, from the house of DEMIPHO.
PERISTRATA
The Goddess Astarte is the might of mortals and of the Gods, their life, their health; she, the same, who is likewise their death, destruction, downfall, the seas, the earth, the heaven, and the stars. Whatever Temples of Jove we inhabit, they are guided by her nod; her do they obey; to her do they pay regard; what displeases her, the other Deities do quickly put aside. Whatever pleases her, that, all things, which live and have sense, do pursue. Some she tortures, destroys; others, with her own milk does she nourish and raise aloft; but those whom she tortures, they live and enjoy their senses; those whom she hastens to rear and raise aloft, these last indeed do perish forthwith, and to their sorrow use their senses. Then, well-wishers, they lie prostrate, objects of dislike they bite the ground, grovel upon their faces, roar out, and make a riot; and when they think they live, then in especial do they rush on to ruin, then, then do they show eagerness in the pursuit of the object beloved; young men stumble, aged men likewise are led away. They love themselves;
the object which they love, they wish to be loved and known. But if at that age they begin to fall in love, much more grievous is their madness. But if they do not love, then they hate, they are morose, too, and wayward; tattlers, haters, ill-disposed, passionate, envious for themselves and theirs. What they have formerly been shamelessly guilty of themselves, if it is done in a more quiet way, fathers do not tolerate as they ought to do; but they proclaim it, and indecently cry it out aloud.
SYRA
apart . So far as I understand, Demipho is treating this lady badly too.
PERISTRATA
This is the truth. My son is in love and is dying; when his father came to know of it, he was enraged beyond bounds. What insanity is this? This same husband of mine at one time packed my son off to Rhodes to traffic; now, according to the news Acanthio brings, he’ll be betaking himself into banishment. O unjust father! O unfortunate son! whither will you betake yourself? Where will you leave your mother? Shall I pass my life bereft? Shall I lose my son? I will not endure it. Has his father sold her? Wherever she shall be found, the mother will redeem her. Do you tell me, Lycissa, do they suppose that she was brought into this neighbourhood?
LYCISSA
pointing to the house of LYSIMACHUS . To that, I fancy; to the house of a certain old gentleman, a friend.
PERISTRATA
Here, there is no one that 1 know of besides Lysimachus.
SYRA
apart . They are mentioning Lysimachus. It’s a wonder if the old fellows, who are neighbours, haven’t been going halves in the same nest.
PERISTRATA
I’ll go look for Dorippa, his wife. The door of the house of LYSIMACHUS opens.
LYCISSA
Why go look for her? Don’t you see her?
PERISTRATA
Indeed, I do see her. Let’s listen; she’s muttering something in a passion, I know not what, to herself. They stand aside.
Enter DORIPPA, from the house of LYSIMACHUS.
DORIPPA
to herself . Syra hasn’t come back, whom, poor wretch, it’s now a long time since I sent to fetch my father; in her very slowness, she has either hardened into a stone, or she has stopped from swelling with the sting of a serpent.
SYRA
apart . I’m undone; here’s my mistress, she’s looking after me.
DORIPPA
continuing . I cannot remain at home; my eyes cannot abide that pretty young harlot; I would have shut her out of doors, but my son Eutychus prevented me. Still, I shan’t altogether believe the news he brings.
LYCISSA
apart . Do you hear, mistress?
PERISTRATA
apart . I hear; let her go on.
LYCISSA
apart . I’ll let her. DOR. to herself . He says that she has come hither to our house for the sake of an old gentleman, a friend; that he has her for sale, so that he may withdraw her from his son, who’s in love with her. This really is a falsehood, either in my husband or my son; the accounts differ. The husband says that she was given him as a deposit; but the son says that she’s on sale.