Complete Works of Plautus

by Plautus

  LABRAX

  aside . What’s to be done here? It’s a matter of necessity, I see: to GRIPUS the talent shall be paid.

  GRIPUS

  going towards the altar . Just step this way; I wish Venus here to put the question to you.

  LABRAX

  Whatever you please, that command me.

  GRIPUS

  Touch this altar of Venus.

  LABRAX

  touching it . I am touching it.

  GRIPUS

  By Venus here must you swear to me.

  LABRAX

  What must I swear?

  GRIPUS

  What I shall bid you.

  LABRAX

  Dictate in words just as you like. Aside. What I’ve got at home, I shall never beg of any one else.

  GRIPUS

  Take hold of this altar.

  LABRAX

  taking hold of it . I am taking hold of it.

  GRIPUS

  Swear that you will pay me the money on that same day on which you shall gain possession of the wallet.

  LABRAX

  Be it so.

  GRIPUS

  speaking, while LABRAX repeats after him . Venus of Cyrene, I invoke thee as my witness, if I shall find that wallet which I lost in the ship, safe with the gold and silver, and it shall come into my possession ——

  GRIPUS

  “Then to this Gripus do I promise;” say so and place your hand upon me.

  LABRAX

  Then to this Gripus do I promise, Venus, do thou hear me ——

  GRIPUS

  followed by LABRAX . “That I will forthwith give him a great talent of silver.”

  GRIPUS

  If you defraud me, say, may Venus utterly destroy your body, and your existence in your calling. Aside. As it is, do you have this for yourself, when you’ve once taken the oath.

  LABRAX

  If, Venus, I shall do anything amiss against this oath, I supplicate thee that all Procurers may henceforth be wretched.

  GRIPUS

  aside . As it is, it shall be so, even if you do keep your oath. Do you wait here; going towards the cottage — I’ll at once make the old gentleman come out; do you forthwith demand of him that wallet. Goes in.

  LABRAX

  to himself . If ever so much he shall restore to me this wallet, I’m not this day indebted to him three obols even. It’s according to my own intention what my tongue swears. The door opens. But I’ll hold my peace; see, here he’s coming out, and bringing the old man.

  Enter GRIPUS, followed by DÆMONES, with the wallet.

  GRIPUS

  Follow this way. Where is this Procurer? Hark you to LABRAX , see now; this person pointing at DÆMONES has got your wallet.

  DÆM.

  I have got it, and I confess that it is in my possession; and if it’s yours, you may have it. Everything, just as each particular was in it, shall in like manner be given safe to you. Holding it out. Take it, if it’s yours.

  LABRAX

  Immortal Gods, it is mine. Takes it. Welcome, dear wallet.

  DÆM.

  Is it yours?

  LABRAX

  Do you ask the question? If indeed, i’ faith, it were in Jove’s possession, still it is my own.

  DÆM.

  Everything in it is safe; there has only been one casket taken out of it, with some trinkets, by means of which this day I have found my daughter.

  LABRAX

  What person?

  DÆM.

  Palæstra, who was your property, she has been discovered to be my own daughter.

  LABRAX

  By my troth, it has happily turned out so; since this matter has happened so fortunately for you according to your wishes, I’m rejoiced.

  DÆM.

  In that I don’t readily believe you.

  LABRAX

  Aye, by my faith, that you may be sure that I’m rejoiced, you shan’t give me three obols for her; I excuse you.

  DÆM.

  I’ faith, you are acting kindly.

  LABRAX

  No, troth; it’s really yourself, indeed, that’s doing so. Going off with the wallet.

  GRIPUS

  Hark you, you’ve got the wallet now.

  LABRAX

  I have got it.

  GRIPUS

  Make haste.

  LABRAX

  Make haste about what?

  GRIPUS

  To pay me the money.

  LABRAX

  By my troth, I’ll neither give you anything nor do I owe you anything.

  GRIPUS

  What mode of proceeding is this? Don’t you owe it me?

  LABRAX

  Troth, not I indeed.

  GRIPUS

  Didn’t you promise it me upon your oath?

  LABRAX

  I did take an oath, and now I’ll take an oath, if it is in any way my own pleasure; oaths were invented for preserving property, not for losing it.

  GRIPUS

  Give me, will you, a great talent of silver, you most perjured fellow.

  DÆM.

  Gripus, what talent is it you are asking him for?

  GRIPUS

  He promised it me on oath.

  LABRAX

  I chose to swear; turning to DÆMONES are you the priest as to my perjury?

  DÆM.

  to GRIPUS . For what reason did he promise you the money?

  GRIPUS

  If I restored this wallet into his hands, he swore that he would give me a great talent of silver.

  LABRAX

  Find me a person with whom I may go to the judge, to decide whether you did not make the bargain with wicked fraudulence, and whether I am yet five-and-twenty years old.

  GRIPUS

  pointing to DÆMONES . Go to the judge with him.

  LABRAX

  No; I must have some other person.

  DÆM.

  to LABRAX . Then I shan’t allow you to take it away from him, unless I shall have found him guilty. Did you promise him the money?

  LABRAX

  I confess it.

  DÆM.

  What you promised my slave must needs be my own. Don’t you be supposing, Procurer, that you are to be using your pimping honesty here. That can’t be.

  GRIPUS

  to LABRAX . Did you fancy now that you had got hold of a person whom you might cheat? It must be paid down here holding his hand , good silver coin; I shall, at once, pay it to him pointing to DÆMONES , so that he may give me my liberty.

  DÆM.

  Inasmuch, therefore, as I have acted courteously towards you, and by my means these things pointing to the wallet have been saved for you ——

  GRIPUS

  I’ faith, by my means, rather; don’t say by yours.

  DÆM.

  to GRIPUS . If you are prudent you’ll hold your tongue. To LABRAX. Then it befits you in a like courteous manner kindly to return the obligation to myself, who so well merit the same.

  LABRAX

  You are pleading, of course, for my right?

  DÆM.

  ironically . It would be a wonder if I didn’t, at a loss to myself, ask you to forego your right.

  GRIPUS

  aside . I’m all right; the Procurer’s giving way; my freedom is at hand.

  DÆM.

  pointing to GRIPUS . He found this wallet; he is my slave. I therefore have preserved this for you, together with a large sum of money.

  LABRAX

  I return you thanks, and with regard to the talent that I promised on oath to him, there’s no reason that you shouldn’t receive it.

  GRIPUS

  Hark you, give it me then, if you are wise.

  DÆM.

  to GRIPUS . Will you hold your tongue, or not?

  GRIPUS

  You pretend to be acting on my side: I tell you * * * * * * by my troth, you shan’t do me out of that, if I did lose the other booty.

  DÆM.

  You shall have a beating if you
add a single word.

  GRIPUS

  Troth now, do you kill me even; I’ll never be silent on any terms, unless my mouth is shut with the talent.

  LABRAX

  For yourself, in fact, is he using his exertions; do hold your tongue.

  DÆM.

  Step this way, Procurer.

  LABRAX

  Very well. They walk on one side.

  GRIPUS

  Proceed openly; I don’t want any whisperings or mumblings to be going on.

  DÆM.

  Tell me, at what price did you buy that other young woman, Ampelisca?

  LABRAX

  I paid down a thousand didrachms.

  DÆM.

  Should you like me to make you a handsome offer?

  LABRAX

  I should like it much.

  DÆM.

  I’ll divide the talent.

  LABRAX

  You act fairly.

  DÆM.

  For that other woman Ampelisca, that she may be free, take you one half, and give the other half to him.

  LABRAX

  By all means.

  DÆM.

  For that half I’ll give his freedom to Gripus, by means of whom you found your wallet, and I my daughter.

  LABRAX

  You act fairly; I return you many thanks. They return to GRIPUS.

  GRIPUS

  How soon then is the money to be returned to me?

  DÆM.

  The money’s paid, Gripus; I’ve got it.

  GRIPUS

  You, faith; but I had rather it were myself.

  DÆM.

  I’ faith, there’s nothing for you here, so don’t you be expecting it. I wish you to release him from his oath.

  GRIPUS

  aside. Troth, I’m undone; if I don’t hang myself, I’m utterly done for. Aloud. I’ faith, after this day you certainly shall never be cheating me again.

  DÆM.

  Dine here to-day, Procurer.

  LABRAX

  Be it so; the proposal is to my taste.

  DÆM.

  Do you both follow me in-doors. He comes forward and addresses the AUDIENCE. Spectators, I would invite you to dinner as well, were it not that I’m going to give nothing, and that there is no good cheer at all at home; and if, too, I didn’t believe that you are invited to dinner elsewhere. But if you shall be willing to give hearty applause to this Play, do you all come to make merry at my house some sixteen years hence. Do you to LABRAX and GRIPUS both dine here with me to-day.

  GRIPUS

  Be it so.

  An ACTOR

  (To the AUDIENCE) Now give us your applause.

  STICHUS

  Translated by Henry Thomas Riley

  CONTENTS

  THE SUBJECT.

  THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT.

  ACT I.

  ACT II.

  ACT III.

  ACT IV.

  ACT V.

  THE SUBJECT.

  THE plot of this Play (which is supposed by some Commentators not to have been written by Plautus) is extremely meagre. Antipho, a wealthy and jovial old gentleman of Athens, has two daughters, Philumena and Pamphila. They are married to two brothers, Epignomus and Pamphilus, who, having run through their property in the company of idlers and Parasites, have, with the view of retrieving their fortunes, taken to merchandize. Having been absent three years from home, and no tidings being heard of them whether they are alive or not Antipho assumes the prerogative of a father, and requests his daughters to marry again; who resolve, however, to maintain their fidelity to their absent husbands. Philumena sends the Parasite, Gelasimus, to the harbour to see if any ships have arrived. In the meantime, the boy, Pinacium, brings her word that her husband has. returned to Athens. He and his brother meet the Parasite, and resist all his attempts to fasten himself upon them; they then go home, and become reconciled to Antipho, from whom, in their poverty, they had become estranged; and who now requests them to make him a present of a female slave. Stichus, the servant, obtains a day’s holiday, together with a present from his master of a cask of wine. He makes an entertainment for himself, his friend Sagarinus, and their mistress Stephanium. The Play concludes with a dance, to the music of the Piper.

  THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT.

  [Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian.]

  An old man (Senex) rebukes his daughters because they are so (Tam) persevering in thus (Ita) adhering to their husbands, brothers, poor and abroad, and in not deserting them. And, on the other hand (Contra), he is softened down by prudent words to allow them to retain (Habere) those whom they have already got. Enriched with wealth, their husbands (Viri) come back from beyond the sea; each one retains his own (Suam) wife, and to Stichus a holiday is given.

  ACT I.

  Enter PHILUMENA and PAMPHILA.

  PHILUMENA

  Sister, I think that Penelope was wretched from her very soul, who was so long deprived of her husband; for from our own fortunes, whose husbands are absent from us, we judge of her feelings; for whose affairs, still, in their absence, both night and day, sister, as is becoming, we are ever anxious.

  PAMPHILA

  ’Tis right that we should do our duty; and we do not that any further than affection bids us.

  PHILUMENA

  But, sister, step this way a moment; I want to speak about the affairs of my husband.

  PAMPHILA

  Ain’t they prospering, pray?

  PHILUMENA

  I hope and wish so, indeed. But, sister, at this am I vexed, that your and my father, one who is esteemed as especially honorable among all his fellow-citizens, should be now acting the part of a dishonorable man; who is undeservedly doing so great an injustice to our absent husbands, and is wishing to separate us from them. These things, sister, render me tired of existence; these things are a care and a vexation to me. She sheds tears.

  PAMPHILA

  Weep not, sister, nor do that to your feelings which your father is threatening to do. ’Tis to be hoped that he will act more righteously. I know him well; he says these things in jest; and he would not earn for himself the mountains of the Persians, which are said to be of gold, to do that of which you are in dread. Still, if he does do it, it befits you by no means to be angry; nor will it happen without some reason. For this is the third year since our husbands have been away from home.

  PHILUMENA

  ’Tis as you say; while, in the meantime, they may be living, and may be well, they do not make us acquainted where they are, what they are doing, whether they are doing well, neither do they return.

  PAMPHILA

  And do you, sister, regret this, that they do not observe their duty, whereas you do yours?

  PHILUMENA

  Troth, I do.

  PAMPHILA

  Hold your peace, if you please; take care, please, that I hear not that same thing from you in future.

  PHILUMENA

  And why, pray?

  PAMPHILA

  Because, i’ faith, in my opinion, ’tis proper for all prudent people to observe and to do their duty. For that reason, sister, although you are the older, I advise you to remember your duty; and if they are unjust and act otherwise to us than is right, then, i’ faith, in exactly the same degree, that there may be no further mischief, it befits us studiously to remember our duty by all means in our power.

  PHILUMENA

  ’Tis good; I’m silenced.

  PAMPHILA

  But do take care and remember it.

  PHILUMENA

  I do not wish, sister, to be thought to be unmindful of my husband; nor has he thrown away the distinction that he conferred upon me. For, by my troth, his kindness is pleasing and delightful to me; and, really, this choice of mine is not now irksome to me, nor is there any reason why I should wish to abandon this match. But, in fine, ’tis placed in our father’s power; that must be done by us which our relatives enjoin.

  PAMPHILA

  I know it, and in
thinking of it I am overwhelmed with grief; for already has he almost disclosed his sentiments.

  PHILUMENA

  Let us consider, then, what is necessary for us to do.

  Enter ANTIPHO from his house, speaking at the door to his SERVANTS.

  ANTIPHO

  The man in condition of a servant who always waits to be told his duty, and doesn’t remember to do it of his own accord, that servant, I say, is not of a deserving character. You remember well on each returning Calends to ask for your allotment of provisions; why, then, do you less remember to do what is necessary to do about the house? Now, therefore, if, when I return, the furniture shall not be set for me, each piece in its proper place, I’ll be putting you in mind with a bull’s hide remembrancer. Not human beings seem to be living with me, but pigs. Take care, if you please, that my house is clean, when I return home. I shall soon be back home; I’m going to her house, to see my eldest daughter. If any one should enquire for me, call me thence, some of you; or —— I shall be here soon myself.

  PHILUMENA

  aside . What are we to do, sister, if our father shall resolve against us?

  PAMPHILA

  It befits us to submit to what he does whose power is the stronger. By entreating, not by opposing, I think we must use our endeavours. If with mildness we ask for favour, I trust to obtain it of him. Oppose him we cannot, without disgrace and extreme criminality; I will neither do that myself, nor will I give you the advice to do it, but rather that we should entreat him. I know our family; he will yield to entreaty.

  ANTIPHO

  speaking to himself . In the first place, in what manner I should make a beginning with them, about that I am in doubt; whether I should accost them in language couched in ambiguous terms, after this fashion, as though I had never pretended anything at all against them, or whether as though I had heard that they were deserving of some censure against them; whether I should rather try them gently or with threats. I know that there will be opposition; I know my daughters right well. If they should prefer to remain here rather than to marry afresh, why, let them do so. What need is there for me, the term of my life run out, to be waging war with my children, when I think that they don’t at all deserve that I should do so? By no means; I’ll have no disturbances. But I think that this is the best thing to be done by me; I’ll do thus; I’ll pretend as though they had themselves been guilty of some fault; I’ll terribly terrify their minds this day by some ambiguous expressions; ana then, after that, as I shall feel disposed, I’ll disclose myself. I know that many words will be spoken; I’ll go in. Goes to the door of PHILUMENA’S house. But the door’s open.