by L. L. Ash
“I saw your car still outside,” Dad said after he’d opened the door and found Connor in my bed like he had many, many times throughout our childhood.
“Care to tell me what’s going on?” Dad asked, folding his arms over his chest. “You were so intent on seeing Sam last night I didn’t get anything out of you.”
Conner unwrapped himself from the blanket and sat up, his arms leaning on his thighs as he looked up at Dad like a child about to get reprimanded.
“And please, tell me what all that nonsense at dinner last night was all about.”
“Can we go into the living room to talk,” Conner asked Dad, who nodded and led the way out of the room.
They were gone for a while so I eventually got up and ran a brush through my hair and changed into a short sheath dress and made my way out into the kitchen where Dad and Connor were talking and laughing up a storm. I grabbed a box of cereal off the table before they noticed me. Connor looked at me with a grin and his green eyes sparkled along with his bright smile.
Dad rapped his knuckles on the table and said, “I’m going to go shopping. Sounds like you two have a lot of talking and catching up to do so I’ll leave you alone. I’ll be back before dinner.”
He kissed my cheek before leaving the room and grabbing his keys before hitting the black friday sales.
Connor motioned to the chair beside him and I sat asking, “Ok, what was that all about?”
“I explained everything to your dad,” he said and sipped on the mug of coffee in his hands.
“And? Do WE even know what’s going on between us?” I asked, suddenly losing my appetite.
“Well, I told him we weren’t sure about things. That we were going to try. At least, I think that’s what you agreed to. When you kissed me back I figured you were going to give us a try.”
I nodded slowly and looked down into the bowl of quickly sogging rice krispies.
“What I really explained was what happened with your old boyfriend and I yesterday, and what I’m doing here.”
“I thought you were here for me?”
“I am, but I’m not heading home.”
“What?” I asked in surprise.
“I had decided, and discussed with Mom and Dad that if you would have me, I was going to stick it out here for a while. I wanted out of that small town anyway, and why not have a little adventure around here? Around you?”
“But your job….”
“I transfered. I already got the permission.”
“You’ve been planning all this?”
“I missed you a lot,” he said and touched the top of my hand gently with his long fingers. “I was going to tell you all about it yesterday but you brought that guy and everything just kind of went to hell.”
“Tyler. His name is Tyler,” I told him with a little irritation. “He is a great guy, and he deserves your respect, Connor. This is going to crush him.”
“I can understand that,” he said with a slow nod.
There was a long silence before Connor asked, “Want to help me move into my new appartment?”
I nodded and took one big bite of my soggy cereal before standing up.
I followed Connor to his car which was filled with his meager belongings and drove across town to a studio apartment in a suburb just on the other side of the strip.
I helped bring in a few things but mostly just looked around at the small space. He was 3 stories up and the view was amazing.
“Thanks for the help,” Connor told me with a grunt and a laugh.
With a grin at him, I waved him off.
When everything was in the house he got to unpacking.
“Connor,” I said, touching his shoulder as he unrolled a sleeping bag that’d be his bed for now. “I need to go take care of a couple things. I’ll be back in a while if it’s ok if I borrow your car.”
He shrugged and held the keys out to me before saying, “You’re going to go see Tyler?”
I nodded and he stood up to hug me and kiss me before letting me go.
In Connor’s car I drove over to the Triton and managed, after much asking and walking around in circles, to find the office Tyler worked in.
The receptionist, an attractive twenty-something buzzed Tyler’s office phone and said, “A Ms. Bulliard is here to see you Mr. Harrison. Would you like to see her?”
She looked up at me with weary eyes before I heard Tyler’s voice on the line saying eagerly, “Send her in, Georgiana.”
My heart sunk to my toes as I played the death march in my head while I went to the frosted glass door that led to Tyler. I still wasn’t even sure I was making the right decision, because I felt like I was going to die at the thought of not seeing Tyler anymore. But he was right. I couldn’t have both….
The door suddenly opened and Tyler met me with a smile on his face that quickly faded when he saw the look on my face. He looked away as he held the door open for me. He motioned for me to sit in the chair on the opposite side of the desk and settled himself behind the oak bulk between us.
“I take it you’ve decided,” Tyler said and shuffled a couple of papers.
“You didn’t really give me much of a choice in the matter,” I told him, trying not to get irritated or cry.
“I wasn’t given any choice, so consider yourself lucky,” he said and suddenly sat back in the chair, steepling his fingers like an old businessman would do. “So, what’s your decision Samantha. I want to hear you say it.”
“Say what?”
“I want to hear how you chose him over me,” he said and met my eyes fiercely.
“What do you want me to say, Ty?” I asked, too uncomfortable to look into the pain-filled eyes staring back at me.
“Just say it. Just say the truth.”
“He’s my best friend,” I said, my throat closing up and my voice squeaking. “I don’t know if I have feelings for him that way…. the way I do for you…. but I wouldn’t be able to live with the what-ifs.”
“If you really felt that way about me, this wouldn’t even be an issue, Sam,” he said with a disgusted tinge in his voice. “If you loved me like you said you do, you wouldn’t even consider anyone else.”
Tears fell down my face now and there was nothing I could do to stop them.
“I do love you. But you made me choose between new love and love I’ve had for someone almost since birth.”
“Shit,” he said quietly, digging his face into his hands and covering his eyes with his fingers. “Maybe I was wrong….” he said and looked up at me, his eyes red from unshed tears, “Maybe you’re more like my mom then I ever realized.”
My mouth popped open in protest before he went on.
“One whiff of something that might be better and you’re gone.”
I gulped down the ball of pain in my throat.
Tyler cleared his throat, rubbed his eyes with his fingertips then said, “Thank you for informing me of your decision, Sam. At least you had the balls to say it to my face.”
His face became emotionless and bored looking again.
“You can leave now.”
“Ty.… I….”
“You may leave,” he said in a low voice, meeting my eyes.
His icy eyes were dark blue now. Pain radiated from him, but he held it in well.
I got up and as my hand turned the handle to leave, Tyler called, “And Sam,”
I looked back at him.
“Thank you,” he said, leaning back in his swivel chair again. “Thank you for keeping me from making the worst mistake of my life. I’ll always owe you for that, at least.”
The tears came full force now as I left the office. I heard Tyler’s voice come over the intercom faintly as I hurried away.
“Hold my calls. I’d like some time without interruption.”
When I managed to get to the car I bawled like a baby. Tyler had a way of doing that to me.
Chapter 7
When I got back to Connor’s apartment I slowly made my way up th
e stairs and knocked on the door. He answered it in just a pair of boardshorts and his typical jewelry. When he saw the look on my face he pulled me into his embrace. I stayed there, feeling sheltered and safe, for a long time. Connor pulled me into the apartment and we cuddled on his makeshift bed since there was no other surface to sit on.
“Do you want to talk about it Sam?” he whispered into my ear.
I shook my head vehemently before digging my head further into his chest. He just held me tighter.
It was this that I missed. I missed this comfort and feeling of belonging I always felt with Connor. With Tyler it was all heat and lust and sex with a background of laughter and friendship. With Connor it was the opposite.
After a while our butts got numb and we just laid down and cuddled. Eventually Conner walked his fingers up my side and wiggled them against the flesh on my waist.
I held back a giggle and he grunted before saying, “Going to be difficult are you?”
He dig his fingers harder into me and tickled me with a vengeance.
When I was laughing so hard my bladder was threatening to pee, Conner backed his hand off and smiled at me saying, “There, I like seeing you laugh.”
“That wasn’t fair!” I gasped out between giggles.
“Not fair but necessary,” he said and tucked some hair behind my ear.
The laughs faded away as we stared into each other’s eyes, and my skin tingled like an electrical current was buzzing between us.
“Can I kiss you?” Connor asked in a whisper, his lips only half an inch from mine.
I nodded and he closed the distance; we slowly kissed on the sleeping bag and blankets on his apartment floor.
There was such a difference between Connor’s slow, romantic, passionate kisses and Tyler’s fast, heated, demanding kisses.
Where Tyler made me burn with need, Conner relaxed me and I basked in the innocence of the exchange.
After a while my phone rang. Connor gave up on the kisses so I could answer.
“Do you guys want to meet me for dinner?” Dad asked when the line connected.
“I don’t know, let me ask,” I said and put my hand over the mouth piece and asked Connor, “Dad wants to go to dinner He wants us to join him.”
“That sounds good to me,” he nodded and I told Dad we’d meet him at Red Lobster.
Connor stared at me with a small smile on his face before he rubbed my lower lip with his thumb.
“You looked like you’ve been making out.”
I laughed and touched my lips too, not sure I cared if I looked like I’d been well kissed.
Together we went to the restaurant and after having a nice, comfortable dinner I went home with Dad and Connor went back to his apartment.
For a week it went like that. Connor started work in the nearby Four Seasons hotel and I was bored. He offered to get me a job at the hotel but I wasn’t ready to settle on anything yet. Nothing felt right on the job front.
Connor and I spent evenings together, and usually slept over at either his apartment or my house, and Dad never said a word about our sleepovers like he did with Tyler. But maybe it was because he knew Connor respected me and protected me with his life.
Another week, and another week passed. Connor and I caught up with the last year of life, and we cuddled and occasionally kissed and even more rarely made out, but he never attempted to move any further than that.
By almost one month of dating, I was beginning to grow frustrated. It almost felt like the same friendship we always had, but we just kissed now and then. There was no real passion, just respect and care, which was great, but something was lacking. Finally I decided we needed a real, romantic date. Connor agreed to my arrangements and we made our way to the strip around 8 o’clock on a Friday night. The night before Christmas. The streets were filled with visitors escaping snow and women wearing not much more than a santa hat on their heads. Connor looked around like a child, trying to catch everything. There was so much around I didn’t blame him one bit. I was him when I’d first arrived.
After a nice dinner at Caesars Palace, we meandered around their hotel before moving down the line. We held hands and toured. When we reached the Triton I almost skipped it, knowing there was a slight chance of running into Tyler. But I knew the chances were so slim, and I didn’t want Connor to miss out on the splendor inside, so we went in.
He ‘oo’-ed and ‘aww’-ed as we went through the halls.
“Hey,” Connor said loudly, to be heard over the crowd of people. “Your birthday is in 2 months. You excited or what?”
I nodded but said, “And you’ve yet to tell me about your 21st birthday you know.”
“Not much to tell,” he said with a crooked grin.
“Oh come one!” I begged.
“I got pretty smashed,” he admitted and released my hand to pull me closer to him by the waist.
I grinned at him and tried not to laugh as we wandered further. We heard a commotion going on towards the back of the hotel, past the restaurants, where we heard muffled music blaring.
“A club?” Connor asked me and I shrugged. “Let’s go see.”
I agreed so we went, and had to show ID’s before they let us in. It was 18 and up, but 21 to get alcohol at the bar.
We wandered further in and my heartbeat picked up in excitement. I hadn’t danced in months and months. I now I got to dance with Connor instead of awkward guys at a school dance.
“I’ll get us something to drink,” he shouted in my ear before heading to the bar.
I danced in a little circle by myself. Unafraid of looking stupid in a crowd this big, and not caring if my skirt crept up my legs and showed a bit more then I was usually comfortable. This environment reminded me of Tyler and my sense of embarrassment vanished at the memory. Connor came up just then, holding a beer in one hand and a Coke in the other.
“Sorry. I don’t want to get either of us arrested so you’ll have to stay sober this time.”
I grinned at the thought. Connor was the one I used to drink with when we’d experiment with it. Of course, he was legal now, being just over a year older then me.
He guzzled the drink and I put my arms around his neck, looking around the room again. Suddenly I caught a flash of a couple grinding in the center of the dance floor. My gaze flicked around the room again before I looked back, feeling a sense of familiarity about them. The woman waved her bleach blond locks around and I saw the man dancing with her. The platinum hair and crystal eyes were recognizable even beneath all the lights.
The woman ran her hands all over Tyler’s chest and he threw back an amber liquid in the tumbler he held in his hand before the woman took it from him, putting it on the table nearby and putting his hands around her. He rolled his eyes at her, and they landed on me. The shock in his face was definite, but it was quickly replaced by anger, and then all traces of recognition flittered away as he turned back to the woman in his arms.
“Sam?” Connor asked, but I was too busy looking at Tyler.
Tyler flipped the woman around in his arms, his hands pulling her slim stomach to him before his hand moved up to smooth over a breast while the other ran down, brushing between her legs, snaking up the skirt.
She threw her head back, pushing her breasts further against his hand and he dug his face into her neck. She suddenly dipped forward, grinding her ass against his crotch and he grabbed her around the hips, aiding in the grinding pressure when he glanced back over at me and Connor.
It was at that moment that Connor moved and turned to see what I was so intently focused on when he spotted Tyler, too. The men locked gazes before Tyler looked back at me, his eyes roaming from foot to face, then settling to the end of my tiny skirt.
The woman grinding against him finally straightened and turned, pulling Tyler by the hem of his shirt toward the exit. He stood still for a moment, his eyes moving from Connor to me, then he gave in to her coaxing and moved toward the exit with her. My stomach roiled, and bile made
its way up my throat at the thought of him having crazy hot sex with the fake blond.
Instead of focusing on it, I turned and threw myself at Connor. He caught me, held me around the waist, but met my kiss as eagerly as he could.
“Let’s get out of here,” I whispered in his ear before biting it.
I heard a low groan rumble out of him before he took my hand and led me out. We practically ran the half mile back to where the car was parked before we shoved into the back seat and assaulted each other’s mouths.
I pulled up the hem of his shirt and thrust my chest toward his, trying to get him to do anything more then kiss.
“Not here,” was all he said before getting out of the back seat.
I sighed in disappointment as I let him help me get out and settle into the front seat.
Connor white knuckled the steering wheel as we left the parking garage and headed out. It was about 15 minutes before we pulled into his apartment complex and he pulled me quickly up the stairs before shoving me against the door and smashing his mouth against mine. Finally my heart began to thump. He fumbled with the keys for a minute before letting us in. He slammed the door closed, turned the deadbolt and pushed me toward his new bed.
“Are you sure?” he asked as he basically ate my neck.
I nodded and pulled at his shirt again. He helped me get it off and I caught sight of his two necklaces, one a silver pendant on a leather strap, and the other a stone hanging off a fiber cord. The cord matched some of the bracelets lining his wrist, and the silver pendant was the same tone as the large celtic ring on his middle finger.
He pulled my shirt off quickly, unzipping my skirt next like a seasoned player. Then again, he was pretty seasoned in this area. I watched him have one night stand after one night stand in high school, unable to keep a girlfriend longer than a few weeks. Now, I realized, it was because he was secretly waiting for me.
When I was down to my underwear I helped him shed his baggy jeans, releasing the car seatbelt belt around his hips.
All of a sudden, when we were down to our underwear there was a moment when we realized who we were about to have sex with. Awkwardness settled over us and Connor tried to pick the momentum back up, but we’d reached a part where we’d never been before. That comfortable feeling of familiarity was gone without a trace and we were left fumbling, trying to get the rest of our clothes off.