Heartless

by Vi Carter

  ***

  It takes another two hours before I’m released without charge. Having Mike Gordan on our payroll was something that could stop these over-achievers, who rise from nowhere, and decide that the O’ Reagans will be their trophy.

  I drive to the house just to make sure no one has come. I don’t like the idea of anyone being inside our home. I had the locks changed, even against Peter’s advice. Stephen lets me in and I notice immediately that I’m not alone. Finn’s jeep is parked out front, I had no idea what he was doing here after I forbade them from entering, until I got rid of Mr. Novak. I leave my car parked behind Finn’s jeep and go in the front door. I don’t call out but make my way through the downstairs of the house. I find Finn sitting at the head of the dining room table. My eyes immediately go to the plaque that hangs over his head.

  Chlann is the singular word on it. The meaning of it is Family. It’s what everything we do is for. Family.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask from the door. When Finn looks up at me, his eyes gleam with tears that he fights not to spill. His fist is placed over his mouth that he removes now.

  “I thought I’d sit here and see if the men who killed my wife came back to hurt us. In my head…” He looks away from me. “I kill them for taking her.” Now he looks at me and it’s not just pain I see in his eyes, it’s alcohol too. “But it won’t bring her back.” He blinks and tears spill down his face.

  “Do you know what the worst part is?” He’s standing now as he wipes his face roughly. He’s far more intoxicated than I thought. “I’m a coward and I couldn’t even take their lives if I wanted to.”

  “That makes you brave, Finn,” I tell him.

  His roar fills every space in the room. Pain amplifies it and rips at him. “I’m weak. I hate how powerless I am. She’s gone.”

  He takes another unsure step towards me. “I lost her.” His pain is crippling him and I don’t put myself in his shoes. I try to keep the same distance I’ve always kept from this kind of emotion. It was weak and would do him no good.

  “You are weak,” I tell him.

  He seems to stand a bit straighter and he gives me the strangest look; I can’t decipher it.

  “You just said two seconds ago I was brave, now I’m weak?”

  “You are brave for not killing those men, because it won’t bring her back and that’s what I’m here for. I’ll take care of them. But right now, you're weak and she would hate to see you like this.”

  His shoulders slump forward.

  “Go home.”

  He sniffles. “I actually thought you were Connor. I rang him to pick me up.”

  The doorbell rings on cue. “I’ll get it.”

  Finn sits back down at the table as I leave him. My hand goes slowly to the gun that’s in the waistband of my trousers. I open the door, ready for whoever it is. It’s Connor.

  “Is he okay?” He’s trying to bust past me but I jam the door with my foot, making Connor take a step back. “One of your friends killed his wife and you are refusing to give the name of that person. So no, your brother isn’t in a good place.” I remove my foot and he isn’t so eager to enter now.

  “Maybe if you tell me who killed our mother.”

  I let him in and close the door. “I didn’t kill her Connor,” I say and he sneers.

  “What? I’m just meant to take your word for it?”

  “Yes. You seem to forget that I was the first born. I loved her just like you.”

  He doesn’t respond.

  “Now, you can take your over-intoxicated brother out of the house and try to keep him away.”

  He still doesn’t move. “You never see me as your equal. You think because I was born from the affair that that makes me less.”

  “I knew of the affair. You being born from Tom didn’t bother me, Connor. It was your own disregard for this family that made me dislike you, but no matter what, you are family. Even Tom lives by that rule.” I pause. “Or he once did. But I swear to you if you help me keep our family safe, I will help you figure out what happened to our mother.” I put out my hand for him to take, the conflict rattles across his jaw that flexes, but he takes my hand.

  Connor steps away and once he takes Finn out to his car, I lock up the house and leave too. I’m anxious to see Svetlana.

  Returning to Shane’s house, I try not to give in to my instincts and push my foot down on the peddle. Two Gardai cars are parked out front of the house. Had they changed their mind about me and decided to arrest me? I would work my way out of it, but Svetlana was here and that terrified me more than anything. I leave my gun in the glove box before getting out of the car.

  Shane meets me at his front door. He gives me a nod and something in me relaxes. He was telling me it was okay.

  Two officers are in the sitting room. I look around quickly, but they are the only occupants of the room. Opening my jacket, I sit down.

  “Earlier today a body was discovered in the Headfort Arms in Kells. We believe the hotel is registered in your name.”

  I nod and glance at Shane, who has joined us.

  “The hotel has been closed as forensics investigate it. It is now a crime scene.”

  God damn it.

  “Of course. I will comply in any way necessary,” I say and the Gardaí nods.

  “How was she killed and was she a member of my staff?”

  “A Bernie Hughes.”

  She was a prostitute.

  “Her knee caps were blown out and a kill shot to her head after.”

  I glance at Shane and his jaw tightens. The RA. They were sending a message, shutting down my business. Cutting off my money. It was clever but wouldn’t make a dent in my operations. Still, the fact I had believed to have them on my side set this whole thing back.

  “I do appreciate you coming out to tell us.”

  We all stand and they place their hats back on their heads before leaving.

  “What are you going to do?” Shane asks as Connor steps into the room.

  “Finn is in bed,” he says. “What were the Gardai doing here?”

  I look at Connor now, really look at him. He had so much inside knowledge. He had access to both sides. Access to the head of both families.

  “There was an attack on one of my hotels.”

  I stare at him and Shane.

  Connor shrugs. “What did they take? Money? I’m sure you’ve plenty stashed away.”

  I take a step towards Connor. “They killed a girl, shot out her knees before killing her.”

  His face falls slightly, but not enough for my liking. “But you knew that already.”

  “Connor?” Shane steps forward and I stop him.

  “You’ve conspired with him once, so my advice to you is to remain silent.”

  I turn back to Connor. “This is war and you are standing on the wrong side.”

  “I didn’t do this.” Connor for the first time is looking panicked.

  “Liam, I just swore to protect our family. Why would I do this?”

  “You may not have done it yourself, but you know who did.”

  His silence is my answer.

  “You betrayed us?” Shane sounds hurt and it’s naïve of him to even think of trusting Connor.

  “This is what separates you from us,” I say.

  Connor sneers. “Fuck you, Liam. I’m not your lapdog. I don’t take orders.”

  “But you do.”

  “No. This was nothing to do with the RA. This was a one-man job. I swear. I tried to stop him, but he’s hell bent on revenge. “

  “Who? Tell me who and prove your loyalty to your brothers.”

  Connor turns away from me and I can see the conflict on his face. “I can’t.”

  Shane moves quickly and grabs Connor. He could never win a fight with Connor. None of us could.

  “You’ve never considered me family, Shane. Now let me go.” Shane releases him and steps back.

  “Here is the warning you can take back to your family
. I will be attacking.” I close the button on my jacket and walk past Connor.

  “Don’t Liam. I’ll tell you who did it.”

  Something in me breathes. I’ve relaxed since I discovered this person acted alone. It meant the plan with the RA will still go ahead, and we can wipe out Novak. The second thing that allows me to breathe is Connor is loyal to us, he just fights it too hard.

  I stop but don’t turn around.

  “It’s revenge for his sister, Margret. He’s like a brother to me, Liam.”

  Now I turn around at the pleading in his voice. “He jeopardized my business. They have closed my hotel. No doubt questioning my staff.”

  “You and I both know that can be mended. He’s had his revenge and he will stop.”

  “What are you asking?” Shane sounds disgusted.

  “Spare him.” Connor looks at me.

  “I want his name.”

  Connor is already shaking his head, a look of defeat in his eyes. “Please, Liam.”

  “His name or I will retaliate.”

  “Matt… Matt Griffin.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  LIAM

  Connor leaves and something inside me tugs. Shane hasn’t spoken and I can see the weight on his shoulders. When I look at him, he shrugs. “What happens now? Are you going to kill Matt?”

  “I don’t know,” I answer honestly. I didn’t want to act on emotion, I needed to think about what was the most effective way to proceed with this.

  “We will talk later.” I leave and go upstairs, seeing Svetlana is the only thing that is keeping me going. She’s what this is all for. To keep her. I open the bedroom door and feel a pang when I discover it empty.

  “Svetlana?” I call as I push the half-open door into the bathroom. It’s empty. I remove my suit jacket and tie, before going back downstairs. Shane is still in the front room, standing at the fireplace.

  “Have you seen Svetlana?”

  “She could be asleep.”

  “No. I’ve just checked her room.” Something stirs in me.

  “She could be with Una.”

  I nod and go to the kitchen. Una has her back to me, while she washes the plates. When I step in, she turns to me.

  “Hi.” She sounds off, like her voice is raised too high. “You okay?” She sounds like herself again and I shake off the odd feeling.

  “Have you seen Svetlana?”

  She smiles and nods. “Yeah, she’s in her room.”

  I’m staring at Una and she stares back, water dripping off her yellow rubber gloves onto the floor.

  “You’re dripping water onto the floor,” I say.

  She gives a laugh. “Are you okay?” She asks again while removing her gloves.

  “Fine.” I turn and leave her to check the study, but Svetlana isn’t there. I pass the front room again, Shane looks up at me.

  “I can’t find her.” My voice is low as I turn for the stairs and take it two steps at a time. Each bedroom door I open, I know she isn’t in.

  “Svetlana,” Una calls. We pass each other on the landing and she squeezes my arm. “It will be okay.”

  I appreciate her helping. After searching upstairs, we move downstairs. Each empty room has my stomach plummeting.

  “Ring Connor and Finn. I’ll call Darragh,” I say to Shane.

  I try to remain calm as Darragh’s phone rings out.

  “Is Svetlana with you?” I ask and try to remain calm.

  “No. Why? Did she finally get a grip and run?” He’s joking, but deep down that is the fear. I hang up on him. Shane’s finished too.

  “Una is asking Finn now. He’s still asleep and Connor said no.”

  “Someone took her.”

  He’s shaking his head. “No one took her, Shane. There is no way anyone got into this house without my knowledge.”

  Una steps into the room. “Finn hasn’t seen her either.”

  My heart is pumping too fast in my chest.

  Una takes a step towards me and her eyes soften. “Maybe she ran away,” she says softly.

  “Did she say something to you?”

  She swallows and looks away.

  “This is no time to keep secrets, Una,” Shane says, and she looks up at him and nods.

  “You’re right. She hadn’t said it, but I knew she missed her home and she was afraid of her uncle. She was afraid that he would find her.”

  Something deep inside pulls at my heart. “I told her she was safe. She had no reason to be afraid. I would protect her.”

  Una’s eyes water. “Oh, Liam.” She reaches out and touches my arm. “I’m so sorry.” She blinks and her tears fall.

  A part of me didn’t believe that she ran away, but she had every reason to run. I hadn’t exactly kept her safe.

  “She wouldn’t leave me,” I say the words out loud and step away from Shane and Una.

  I race up the stairs again, my heart pounding faster at each step I take. I enter our room and open the wardrobe. Pain sears me and it feels so physical. Some of her clothes were gone. She really had left me. I don’t know how long I’ve been staring into the wardrobe, but when I look up Shane is there.

  “I want you to find everything you can on Mike Gordon.”

  Shane steps into the room and I gently close the wardrobe door.

  “Liam, you need to talk to me.”

  “I just told you what I need you to do. What do you want me to talk about?” I pick my tie up off the bed and put it on.

  “About Svetlana. I know she meant a lot to you.”

  “She decided to leave. What can I do?” Once I have my tie on, I pick up my jacket.

  “I don’t know but…”

  “I’m not like you. I don’t break down on a whim. Do as I’ve asked.”

  Shane’s eyes widen briefly as I pull my jacket on. By the time I close the buttons, his composure has returned. He gives me a brief nod and leaves the room.

  Taking out my phone, I step onto the landing and glance around me. A part of me remembers her unease earlier. I knew she was hiding something, but leaving me wasn’t what I thought it would be. Taking out my phone, I hit Sam’s name.

  “Mr. Novak’s niece has run off, no doubt she may go back to him.” As I speak the words into the phone I know they aren’t true. She was terrified of him.

  “If you hear anything regarding Svetlana, you let me know straight away.”

  “I’ve heard nothing. But if I do, I’ll ring it in, Boss.”

  “Thank you, Sam.” I hang up and slip my phone back into my pocket. My legs won’t move, they won’t obey me. I loosen the tie around my neck. It didn’t make sense to me.

  Leaving the house, I pull the tie off completely and fold it before putting it in my pocket. It’s a long walk down the gravel driveway from Shane’s house. How far could she have gotten. Every fiber of my being wants to start searching for her and bring her back to where she belongs. I reach up and open the top button of my shirt.

  The hut near the entrance comes into view. The surrounding greenery has grown around it and ivy hides it from one side. As I walk around to the window, Jim, Shane’s gate man, stands up and pushes the window open.

  “Jim. I’m Liam O’Reagan, Shane’s brother.” Jim looks behind me no doubt wondering how I got here.

  “I thought a walk would be nice.” I answer his unspoken question.

  He nods his head. “Once it’s not raining, it’s not so bad,” he answers while sitting back down.

  “Today, from when your shift started. Can you tell me who has come in and out of the property.” I knew the chances that Svetlana walking out the front gate were zero, but my mind wouldn’t let it go that someone may have taken her. I watch Jim’s reaction while he answers me.

  I focus on his eyes, body language. I’m searching for a nervous tick, a sign that he’s lying.

  “The only person who left was Una, that was a few hours ago.”

  I hate that he’s telling the truth. I want someone to blame for her leaving, bu
t I know who to blame. Myself. I couldn’t keep her safe. Una spoke the truth.

  I return to the house with the intentions of questioning Una again. I want to hear the conversation she had with Svetlana, word for word. I can’t find either herself or Shane.

  The interior of Shane’s pool room that acts as a bar isn’t that much different from father’s. A lot of the house has that same décor. I don’t think Una was the designer. No one is in here and searching upstairs wasn’t something I was going to do. Removing my suit jacket, I place it on the couch and open another button on my shirt. The air seemed thin. Pouring myself a glass of brandy I drink it down and it washes away some of the burning that I now associate with Svetlana. It’s pain, pain I have never felt before.

  I pour another glass while walking to the window and opening it wide, allowing some of the air into the room. My mind springs to Svetlana’s smiling face before jumping to my mother’s dead one. I drink the glass down while looking at the pictures that Una and Shane have hung on the wall. One of our family has me pausing. It’s a few years old. We are all standing around our father who sits on a high-back chair. I’m directly behind him, Shane to his right and Finn to his left. Darragh is beside Shane and Connor beside Finn. Not one of us looks happy. Darragh is smirking into the camera, but it’s fueled with chaos. Shane stands proud, but something in the way he holds his shoulders shows his discomfort with the photo. With being a part of something bigger than him and I. Connor, I find my lips tugging up, he was the strongest of us all. He wasn’t fully like us and sometimes I envied him for that.

  The glass feels heavy in my hand as I stare at my father’s eyes. He is proud, proud to have his family around him, arrogance shines from him and I tighten my hold on the glass. I leave the picture and refill my glass, the oxygen level in the room seems to be returning to normal. I sip the drink as I continue to look at pictures of Una and Shane, most of them are Una with horses, but one of her and Shane lying on the ground, the picture taken from above shows me a carefree Shane, a side to my brother I’ve never seen. He looks … happy.

  I finish my drink and fill another. The buzz in my head is nice.