Heartless

by Vi Carter

  “Liam?”

  I don’t turn as Una enters the room. I finish my drink before turning to her. She halts in her steps. The nervous twitch she always displays around me is there. Right now it seems worse. She swallows as her eyes shoot to the glass.

  “I didn’t peg you for a drinker?” She’s forcing a smile. The strain has me quickly watching her body language. She was too tense, too still. Her eyes flicker to the left.

  “I want to hear the conversation you had with Svetlana,” I say.

  Her hand flutters to a necklace that dangles a half heart on the end of it. “Just that she was afraid.”

  I shake my head. “I want a word-for-word conversation.”

  She swallows again. “She was afraid that he would find her.”

  I shake my head. Irritation growing too fast. “Where were you when this conversation took place? What was she wearing? How did the conversation start? I want a full description, Una.”

  Her eyes glisten as they fill with tears. “I’m so sorry, Liam. But this won’t do you any good.”

  I look over Una’s shoulder as Shane steps into the room. I’m the enemy, I can see it in his eyes. He hasn’t blinked or taken his eyes off me as he makes his way to Una. She jumps as he places his hand on her shoulder. When she turns to him, he looks away from me, instantly his whole body language softens.

  “It’s okay.” He rubs tears from her eyes and something in me twists. I refill my glass and keep my back to them until I hear the door close. I know Shane is still here.

  “She told you everything. Don’t forget, we opened our doors to Svetlana. We aren’t the bad guys here.”

  I finish my drink and reach out for the bottle that disappears. Shane comes into view holding it.

  “What? I’m the bad guy?”

  He shrugs. “I don’t know, but what I do know is that you drinking yourself into a state isn’t good for this family.”

  He was right. I knew he was. If one of them acted out like this, I wouldn’t have it.

  “Finn coming home drunk is bad enough without you starting.” He puts the lid on the bottle and removes my glass. I don’t stop him.

  “Jim. How well do you know him?”

  Shane glances up at me as he places the bottle back on the shelf. “Everyone who works for me has been screened by me personally. He’s loyal.”

  I want to find a kink in Shane’s armor. I wanted someone to be responsible, but it was still looking like it was coming full circle.

  I was the reason she left.

  “Liam. We need you.” Shane’s leaning over the bar and I nod. I don’t feel the dedication I usually feel, but I knew I had to be there for my family. We both look up as the door opens and Darragh steps in.

  He raises both eyebrows. “Bad time?” He quizzes.

  I stop Shane from speaking. “No.”

  He nods and steps in.

  Shane leaves the room and Darragh watches him go with narrowed eyes. “What’s up with him?” he asks, going behind the bar and getting himself a drink, oblivious to my turmoil.

  He takes a bottle of beer out of the fridge. Kicking the door closed with his foot, he opens the bottle. His movements are always so carefree. The lid of the bottle hits the bar and he leaves it there. When he looks up to find me watching him, he raises the bottle to his lips and drinks deeply.

  “You want one?” He asks the longer I stare at him.

  “No.”

  He grins now. “Are you drunk?” He moves around the bar and sits down. “It must be the apocalypse.” He takes another long swallow and I envy his carefree manner, yet the darkness that haunts him is in his eyes, a darkness that I have the power to remove.

  “Just needed a drink,” I finally say.

  He raises both brows before taking another long swallow. “Yeah, me and you both.” He puts the half empty bottle down on the bar.

  “You didn’t kill her,” I say without blinking.

  His brows furrow and Darragh grips the bar stool tightly. I can see the immediate shift in him. “What are you talking about?” he’s whispering.

  “Mother,” I answer.

  He flinches before looking away from me. He picks up the bottle and drinks more down. He places it back on the counter and when he looks at me, he shakes his head. “You said I did.” His words are shaky, like someone standing on the edge of a cliff during a storm. One wrong word and it would all go over the edge.

  “I didn’t. You said it. Not me.”

  “Are you fucking with me?” He stands up abruptly and the stool wobbles as he gets up but doesn’t fall over. “You said I fucking strangled her.” He holds out his hands. A vein throbs in his neck. “With my hands.” He holds them up. “These hands.” His roar rushes across my face.

  “I never said that, you said all that. I just never corrected you.” I stand now as he takes a step towards me.

  “Why are you doing this to me?” Pain fills his words.

  “I’m telling you the truth.” I want to end this conversation. I step away, but Darragh blocks me.

  “If I didn’t kill her, did you?”

  I don’t answer him.

  His laughter is sharp and quick. “Is this the part where I fill in the fucking blanks? Again.” His fist smashes into his open palm.

  “You didn’t do it. That’s all that matters.”

  His hands slam into my chest. I stare at Darragh in surprise. I didn’t expect that. “We’re done.” His words aren’t filled with anger or hurt. They are filled with pain. Just pain that blurs his eyes as he turns on his heel and storms from the room.

  I stare at the door. “That went well,” I tell myself as I go behind the bar, and take back down the bottle of Brandy that Shane had put away. I pour myself a drink, and try to drown out all the voices that want to haunt me.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  LIAM

  This time Tom meets me in Cabra Castle. Danny, one of the security men, is holding the door open for me. Straight away I think of Gregor. Funny, but I miss him.

  After Darragh left me, I drank until … until I don’t remember what happened. I woke up on the couch in Shane’s house with a blanket over me. The moment I had woken up, I’d reached for Svetlana, who wasn’t beside me.

  “Tom,” I greet my uncle as I step into the meeting room. He stands. I glance around, he is alone as I had requested.

  “Searching me wasn’t necessary,” he states straight away.

  He was right it wasn’t, but it reinforced my distrust of him.

  “I’m afraid it is.” I open my suit jacket, and sit down.

  Tom stares at me, his eyes so like fathers. He sits. “The boy who did this is from a good family.”

  When I don’t respond, Tom continues.

  “He was trying to avenge his sister, Margret. He acted alone.”

  “Margret was killed by the Czech. You know this Tom.” I place both hands on the table. “This boy Matt, is he the one that killed Siobhan?” I ask.

  “Yes. When we find him, we will hand him over.”

  I force a grin. “Find him? As in he is lost?”

  How very convenient. They were lucky I had other plans for Matt. “When he is found, he is mine.” I declare to Tom and reach out my hand to his.

  He takes it and we shake.

  “See you soon.” Tom releases my hand and leaves the room. My phone rings, the sound louder. I wince with the pain in my head. Taking out my phone, I exhale as I see Connor’s name flash up on the screen. Tom wasn’t even out of the building.

  “You are quick.”

  “What did he say?” Connor speaks like he expects an answer. Normally I would be careful with my words but by the end of this I don’t think anything would remain hidden.

  “He told me that Matt is responsible, and that he acted alone. I know he killed Siobhan, and he will be handed over to me.”

  Connor curses down the phone.

  I leave the meeting room.

  “Liam. He’s not a bad person.”


  “Why don’t you tell that to your brother, Finn?”

  “This won’t bring her back,” he barks.

  I stop walking. “What will keeping him alive do? It will be a reminder that you can hurt the O’ Reagan’s and nothing happens. What then? Maybe they will target Darragh next?” I start walking again and leave Cabra Castle.

  “Just promise me when you get him you’ll let me talk to him before anything happens?”

  “No.” I end the call.

  Outside in the cool air, I inhale deeply as I pull off my tie. It was becoming irrelevant wearing them lately. They spent more time in my trousers pockets, than around my neck. I return to Shane’s house. Jim opens the gates to allow me to drive in, I don’t move past the hut and he pops his head out the window.

  “Yesterday, are you one hundred percent sure that only Una left the premises?”

  “Yes.” His answer is so definite. I hate it.

  “What time?”

  He picks up a clipboard and stares at it. “Twelve fifteen.”

  “You record it all?”

  He nods. “Shane’s orders.”

  I enter the house. The smell of cooking from the kitchen has my stomach heaving. Another beautiful effect of drinking.

  Any news to report? I text Sam. He has no news. If he did, he would have rang me. But I needed to feel like I was doing something.

  The smell of bacon is strong as I step into the kitchen. Una is at the cooker and she glances at me over her shoulder. She wasn’t expecting me, I can tell by how her face drops but she recovers.

  “Hi Liam.”

  “Una.” I move around her and make a cup of tea. She doesn’t speak as she flips the bacon, but a slight tremble in her hand catches my attention.

  “I’m sorry about yesterday,” I say.

  She glances at me. Her eyes soften. “It’s okay.” She gives a little shrug before refocusing on the bacon. I make my tea in silence, but I keep snatching glances at Una. She’s snatching glances at me too and something isn’t right.

  “I just was worried in case I had missed something.” I sip my tea but glance at Una over the rim.

  She shakes her head without looking at me. “No. I told you everything.”

  She was lying. The tea turns sour in my stomach.

  “Would you mind telling me again?” I open the top button of my shirt. The air feels thin.

  “Why aren’t you answering your phone?” The demand comes from Connor, who enters the room with Shane.

  “We have nothing more to discuss.”

  “Like hell we don’t. You hung up on me.” Connor is filling the room, his anger growing faster than his steps that he takes towards me.

  I glance at Una, who’s watching us. “I would like to hear the conversation again,” I say to Una.

  “I told you everything,” Una says.

  Shane kisses her on the top of the head before looking at me. “I told you to leave it,” he says to me.

  “I’m asking her a question.” I step around Shane and when he stands in my way, I take a step back.

  Una turns around from the frying pan. “Maybe it’s a good thing she’s gone.”

  Her outburst has Shane glancing at her.

  “What do you mean?” I’m staying calm, but now I know she knows more.

  “What if he comes here looking for her? You put her in my home, Liam. You put us at risk by placing her here.”

  Each word that leaves her mouth has me tightening my fists. “What did you do?”

  I take a step towards her without even being aware. It’s not until Connor and Shane block me.

  “I’m asking her a question. I’d advise both of you to move right now.”

  “She was ripping this family apart. She was a danger.” The accusations that pour from Una’s lips choke me.

  “You need to calm down.” This comes from Shane and for the first time I take three steps away from them, because right now I’m not sure what I’m capable of.

  Connor stares at me wearily as Shane turns and walks back to Una. “Sweetheart.” Shane takes Una’s face in his hands. “It’s okay, but you have to tell us.”

  “I had to.”

  My heart pounds rapidly in my chest. “Is she dead?”

  Una’s eyes widen. “No, I would never do that.”

  I exhale loudly and run my hands across my face. I had expected to hear that she was. “Where is she?”

  Una shakes her head. “She’s safe.”

  I take a step towards her. “Speak now, Una. Where is she?”

  Connor moves into my line of sight again and I try to keep it together.

  “I hid her. She’s safe.”

  “Did you both plan this?” Shane asks and he looks dumbfounded that she could keep something like this from him.

  She doesn’t answer but tilts her head. It was taking every ounce of strength I had to stand here and wait until she was ready to speak.

  “No. I forced her.”

  “Jesus Christ. What were you thinking?” Shane asks and he looks a little stunned. Connor hasn’t taken his eyes off me.

  “Just tell me where she is and I will let this go.”

  “No.” Una blinks rapidly.

  “Una. What are you doing?” Shane shakes his head in confusion. The fire alarm rings and the smell of cremated bacon fills the kitchen.

  Shane reaches behind Una and takes the pan, throwing it into the sink. I clear the three spaces that separate me and Una. Connor is beside me, but doesn’t touch me. Shane’s eyes flash and he’s moving.

  “Where is she?” I’m toe-to-toe with her. Pleading with her. Something I have never done.

  Una’s eyes fill with tears. “She caused so much, Liam.”

  I tighten my fists at my sides and hold them there. All I want to do is strangle the truth from her.

  “Where is she?”

  Una jumps at my raised voice and Shane pushes me away from her.

  “He would come here for her, Liam.” Una pleading and crying doesn’t matter. I don’t care if she bleeds on the floor in front of me. I want to know where Svetlana is.

  “When he finds out, he will kill all of us. She said it herself that he would kill all of us.”

  “I want you to listen to me. We all need to calm down.” Shane's voice I focus on right now. He’s holding my face and over the ringing alarm and my own heartbeat, I focus on his words. “I promise Una will tell us where she is. Right now, everyone needs to calm down.” He nods and I nod back.

  The fire alarm ceases and Connor jumps down from a chair with the battery in his hand. Our eyes clash, but I refocus on Una.

  “I need you to listen to me. I did it to protect us.” I didn’t want to hear her speech. “Her presence in my home…”

  “I’ll take her away from here,” I say through gritted teeth, my control slipping.

  “Una.” The warning comes from Shane. He glares at her and I can see my brother now. It was about time.

  “She was pregnant. Do you know what that means?” She’s shouting at Shane and it’s like someone has hit me in the gut. “Liam has put us all in danger.” She’s pointing at me, but I can’t seem to wake up.

  She’s pregnant.

  “Do you hear yourself?” Shane grips her arms. “This life is dangerous. You can’t hide her because you’re afraid.”

  “I love you. I did it for us.” Una’s cries have Shane releasing her.

  I was going to be a father. Me.

  “Liam.” It’s Connor who has taken a step towards me that snaps me out of my frozen state.

  “How could you have been so silly?” The disappointment in Shane’s voice has Una taking a step away from him.

  “What did you think would happen when Liam found out you took her?” Shane’s speaking like I’m not in the room and right now I don’t feel present. I’m watching them like an act being played out on some stage and I got a front-row seat.

  “You should fear him more than Novak. You know this.” Shane’s sho
uts have Connor moving closer to Una.

  “Stop shouting at me.” Una’s raised voice is filled with anger and tears.

  I was going to be responsible for a child. A child that was part of me, that notion has me already pitying the creature. The child would be part of Svetlana, I focus on that and become present.

  “This is the final time I’m going to ask. Where is she?”

  The room falls silent as I speak clearly.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  SVETLANA

  The wooden spoon snaps in my hand and I pound the small square window. I didn’t think I could have fitted through it anyway, but I had to try to get out of here. I was in another basement, only this one was bare with just a bed that was pushed up against a concrete wall.

  A scream rips from my throat as my chest tightens. My hands automatically flutter to my stomach. I needed to calm down. Stress wasn’t good for a baby. Would it feel what I was feeling? Tears burn my eyes as I move away from the window and sit on my creaky bed. I couldn’t believe Una would do this to me. She had convinced me to come with her and get pregnancy tablets for the baby. I should have never listened to her, or followed her down here. I knew it was off, but I’ve seen shops in stranger places.

  I dab my face with my hands as tears continue to make a path down my face. I needed to calm down. It had only been a day, and I just hoped that Una returned soon.

  I start to hum a lullaby that’s haunting, yet calming. I sing for my baby; I sing to ground myself. I try not to think about my parents or Liam. A sob tears through my lullaby and I pull in a deep breath as I try to piece it back together.

  Closing my eyes tightly, streams of warm liquid pours down my face and into my mouth. I swallow as I continue to hum, and hold my belly. My baby.

  I was still terrified of how Liam was going to react. Now I wondered if I’d get to tell him. I shouldn’t have trusted Una. I didn’t think another woman would do this to a pregnant one. It had been a whole day and night, and she hadn’t left me so much as water. Was she going to just let me die down here? I’m moving around the space again and I pick up the broken wooden spoon; it was the only thing I had found. Using it, I try to wedge it into the corner of the window. With all my force, I push down. Pain sears my hand as it snaps again and cuts into my hand. Blood immediately flows as I pull the piece of wood from my palm. Dropping the bloody splinter, I return to my bed with the intentions of pulling off the pillowcase to wrap my wound.