Black and the Ugliest

by T. Styles

  “Listen, if my wife comes back and see’s you in my room the first step I take will be to get outta this bed and kill you.”

  “JAY HERNANDEZ!” My mother yelled. “This woman has been at your side since you been in a coma! The least you could do is offer her a little respect by hearing her out.”

  I took a deep breath. I didn’t understand what was happening. I didn’t understand why my mother was pushing shit so hard with this chick. I just woke up and already my moms was thrusting another bitch on me when she knew how I felt about my wife.

  Taking another deep breath I said, “What you wanna say, Quinn?”

  “Like your mother said,” she cleared her throat. “I, um, have been here since—”

  “You gonna tell me or not?” I snapped looking at the door again hoping Parade wouldn’t come back. This accident although fucked up may have saved my marriage. I didn’t need Quinn messing that up.

  “Your wife, I think she’s cheating on you,” she said. “And I know you don’t want to hear that but it’s the truth.”

  I frowned. “Fuck you mean cheating on me?” I positioned myself so I could see her clearly. And I can’t lie; my heart was pumping just thinking about what she was going to say next.

  “I followed her because, well, she was acting strange and I—”

  “Get out.” I waved the air. “Get the fuck out of my room.”

  “Jay, please.” My mother said. “Just listen.”

  “GET OUT!” I yelled. “NOW!” Quinn looked at my mother and ran out the room crying. When she was gone I looked at my mom. “You too.”

  “Son, please don’t.”

  “Ma, don’t make me say it again.” I said.

  She grabbed her purse. “I’ll bring the kids by tomorrow.”

  I nodded and she walked out.

  When I was alone I rubbed my throbbing temples. I don’t know what they were talking about, or what they meant by trying to fuck my head up when it came to my wife but I didn’t play games when it came to my family. Parade may have been mad at me for losing our home but she would never cheat on me.

  I had to get out of this bed.

  Now!

  ****

  PARADE

  I had just finished making breakfast for my kids when I turned around and noticed Logan wasn’t at the table again. I sat down the long plates of eggs, bacon and potatoes.

  “Want me to get him, ma?” Landon asked.

  I smiled. “No, I’ll go.”

  I scooped Logan up some food, walked to the room he slept in and knocked on the door. “Come in.” He said with an attitude.

  I walked inside. “Hungry?”

  He nodded yes and took the plate. Immediately he started eating.

  “Logan, how much longer are you gonna hate me?”

  “I don’t hate you.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “I hate that you, I mean, I hate that ya’ll just moved us from our life and put us here. And…you know what, it doesn’t matter.”

  I sat next to him. “I’m sorry we didn’t ask you your input.” I said placing my hand on his knee. “Things moved so quickly that we didn’t get a chance to ask you kids what you wanted. But I promise you this, that will never, ever, happen again. I—” When my phone rang I looked down at it and pulled it out my pocket. “I have to answer—”

  “It’s okay, ma,” he smiled. “I don’t feel like fighting anymore. I understand.”

  “Really?”

  He nodded.

  I kissed his cheek, walked out the room and into my own. Sitting down on the edge of the bed I answered. “Hello.”

  “Somebody forgot ‘bout me already.”

  “Never.” I said when I heard Am’rak’s voice. Today was the day I was going to hit him for the money so I had to be sweet. “What you doing right now?”

  “Waiting on you.”

  I nodded. “Okay, give me a few hours. I’ll be on the way.”

  “I’m here.”

  “Ma,” Ella said knocking on the door.

  I placed my hand over the phone and said, “I’ll be right out.” When she was gone I put the phone back to my ear. “Hello.”

  “Everything cool?” Am’rak asked.

  Good. He didn’t hear my daughter. The last thing I wanted was a dangerous man knowing about my family. He already knew my real name, which was way too much. “Yes, of course.” I cleared my throat. “I’ll see you in a little while.”

  When I hung up I walked out to see Wayne in the kitchen smiling at me. I could tell before he even opened his mouth that something was wrong and I didn’t know if I could handle it at the moment. “Are you okay?” I asked him. “Are Danny and Shantay alright?”

  “Come…Let’s talk outside.”

  “You scaring me.”

  “Please.” He smiled and grabbed my hand.

  We walked outside and I closed the door. “What’s going on, Wayne?”

  He took a deep breath. “I’m going back to L.A.”

  My mouth opened and closed. “But…I…”

  “I’m sorry. I really wanted to stay but my husband threatened to leave and you know…I can’t have that.” He paused. “Danny is my foundation and I may be a tough girl but that’s one thing I can’t deal with.”

  I moved closer and grabbed both of his hands. “Wayne, please stay for just a few more days. I’m finally about to ask for the money and—”

  “I can’t do that, Parade. I mean didn’t you hear me?” He said softly. “My husband is gonna leave me, baby. Now I love you. I’m sure you know I would die for you too but I can’t…I just can’t let him leave me.”

  I took a deep breath. Despite the blessings I had received with my husband being alive, the selfishness in me wasn’t trying to let my best friend go until I brought my entire family back home. We came together and I wanted us to leave together.

  “Okay. Wait here.” I went in the house and grabbed the gun he loaned me and gave it back to him. “Bye.”

  He smiled, walked up close and kissed me on the cheek. “I love you.”

  I nodded, too selfish to let him hear the words back. He stood and waited but what he wanted me to say wouldn’t leave my lips. So he got into his car and pulled off.

  ****

  PARADE

  When I made it to Am’rak’s house and knocked on the door he yelled, “Come in, bae.”

  I entered and was surprised to see him sitting on the couch in the living room, a suitcase on top of the table. I smiled at him. “What’s going on?”

  “Come here.”

  I nodded and walked closer. “Is everything okay?”

  “I heard you in a bind.” He sat back. “Is that true?”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and suddenly the floor seemed hot. I paced a little, trying to find the right thing to say. “I…I’m confused on what you talking about.”

  He nodded and stood up. “Sit down, Parade.”

  “Am’rak, I—”

  “Sit the fuck down!”

  The thunder of his voice ripped through my chest and I flopped down on the sofa.

  “Open the suitcase,” he said softer.

  I did what he asked. When the latch was open I saw stacks of one hundred dollar bills inside. “What is this?”

  “One hundred grand.”

  My eyes widened. “But, I don’t understand.”

  “Yes you do.” He paused. “You were gonna ask me for the money right? That’s what this all been about? The holding out on sex. The elusiveness when I asked you about your life. You wanted the money…so there it is.”

  I felt as if my life was about to be over forever. And suddenly, that quickly, I didn’t want the money anymore. I don’t know where I was going to go or where my family and me were going to live but in that moment, none of it mattered. I just wanted to leave and hug them all again. More than anything I wanted us all to be safe.

  I stood up. “Am’rak, maybe—”

  I don’t know when it happened but w
hen I opened my eyes I was looking at his black Balenciaga boots from the floor. The taste of blood in my mouth.

  “Yeah, all of this was a game,” he yelled over me. “All of this was a ploy to get at my money!” He continued. “And chump change at that. If you would’ve asked I would’ve given you the paper. All you had to do was be honest. But nah, you wanna play games, toss a nigga some pussy and then run off with his racks.” Slowly he stooped down and rubbed my face with the back of his hand.

  “Am’rak, can you tell me what you mean?”

  “I got Intel on you, Parade. Some faggies been asking around about me and my man got his hand on one of ‘em.” He paused. “Turns out you married to some Spanish nigga who fucked up the paper back in L.A. and now you back here slumming.”

  Wayne, no! I knew this would happen! I thought to myself. I begged him not to have his friends asking around about him and now my worst fears came to be realized.

  “I know you got three kids. I know his name is Jay Hernandez and that you Mrs. Parade Hernandez.”

  I felt faint.

  “And guess what, I’m gonna give you the money,” he continued. “But it’s gonna cost you.”

  ****

  JAY

  “You did a good job but you should take it easy for the rest of the day,” my nurse said as she helped me back to bed. I had been practicing walking and I think she thought it was too much on me. Maybe it was. “You had a long day, especially with your kids visiting earlier.”

  “Maybe you’re right,” I said thinking about their faces. They looked healthy but sad and it motivated me even more to move. “I guess they inspired me to do what I gotta do to get back.”

  “Yes but you must take it easy.” She said with a smile. “We want you at your very, very best.”

  I nodded. “Thank you.”

  When she left I lay back in bed and took a deep breath. Suddenly a man sitting in a wheelchair rolled into my room. He was wearing a black backpack and his eyes were sinister. Without saying a word he reminded me of the worst niggas I knew on the street. “So you up.”

  I frowned. “Who you?”

  “I’m nobody really,” he smiled. “I was shot around the time they brought you in. Glad to see we both came through ‘bout the same time. It looked bad at first.”

  I didn’t trust this dude but I didn’t know why either. Not only that but I was vulnerable. If he wanted to act a fool there would be nothing I could do but watch. Immediately my mind went to the people I wronged in life. And outside of the banks I was coming up short.

  “Who are you?” I repeated.

  He smiled and slowly got up. Closing the door he walked up to me. I sat on the edge of the bed. Not sure what I was gonna be able to do because every part of my body ached. But I knew one thing, I was going out swinging.

  “I always wanted to be an actor so, well, forgive me if I came at you the wrong way.”

  “Fuck you want with me, nigga?”

  “Okay, I can tell you want me to get to the point.” He reached behind him for his backpack and tossed it on the bed next to me. I scooted away from it and glared.

  “Fuck kind of games is this?”

  “That’s from Parade. While you were in your coma she had a whole new life with my man. And she asked me to give you that money for whatever bill you got. Then she wanted me to tell you to head back to L.A. ‘cause ain’t nothing left here for you.”

  My temples throbbed and my heart rocked out my chest. And still I was on my feet, with no cane. Slowly I moved toward him. “If you knew me, you’d know better than to play games when it came to my wife.”

  “The money’s all there,” he said slyly. “So don’t shoot the messenger. Especially not one who just saved your life. Your wife had a wish and she used it on you. Be grateful. Most bitches out here foul.”

  “Who are you?”

  “Mercer.” He winked and walked out the door.

  I watched him leave before flopping on the edge of the bed. When I opened the bag I saw racks inside. There was also a card that read Te concedo un deseo, which meant I grant you one wish in Spanish.

  What was going on? I know Parade wouldn’t, she wouldn’t do this to me.

  I…I’m not understanding nothing right now.

  I picked up my phone and called my moms. “Hey, I need you to come back to the hospital.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Nah, you gotta come get me, now.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  JAY

  DAYS LATER

  When I made it to my mother’s house my boys helped me through the door. I was always the strong one in the family and now I was relying on them. It had been a long time coming and finally I was almost on my feet, able to walk without assistance. Even though I was alive, I felt dead because I don’t know what was going on with my wife. But I did know this, I had no intention on leaving Maryland until I found out where she was and why she left.

  After I sat down on the sofa I told my children to go to the room so I could talk to my mother who was making Spanish rice in the kitchen. In the past I loved when she cooked that meal but I wasn’t in the mood to eat.

  “Ma, come here right quick!”

  “Give me a second,” she said cheerfully. “I’m making dinner and—”

  “Ma!” I yelled. “Ven aqui, now!”

  A minute later she came out wiping her hand on a yellow towel. Slowly she sat next to me. “What’s wrong, Jay? You feel alright?”

  “I need you to,” I cleared my throat because I had been trying to act like Parade was visiting friends. Didn’t want her to know what was really going on because I knew she would judge her. Now it was time to ask questions. “I need you to tell me everything you know about Parade.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Jay, why is everything that exits your mouth about that woman?”

  I stared at her.

  She sighed and rubbed her hands down her thighs. “All I know is that while you were in the hospital she was spending less time with her kids, less time seeing you and less time asking how she could help raise her family. Is that a woman you want at your side?”

  I frowned and ran my hand down my face. “Where she go?” She looked away and I knew she knew more than she was letting on. “Mami, I love you. I do. But understand this, if you’re holding out on info I need to find my wife I’ll never fuck with you again.”

  “Find her? I didn’t know she was missing.” She said.

  I clinched my jaw. “Just tell me what I asked, please.”

  She took a deep breath. “If you want real answers you need to call Quinn. She knows more than I do.”

  ****

  JAY

  Two days later, using a cane, I was walking out of my mother’s house to Quinn’s truck. She promised to help find my wife and I hoped she would do that without trying anything else. “Hey,” I said when I slid into the passenger seat. “Thanks for this.”

  “You need any help?”

  “I’m fine.” I said louder than I wanted. “I mean, thank you but I’m good.”

  She smiled. “I’m glad I can do this for you.”

  I wiped my hand down my face. “Listen, Quinn, I’m sorry that my mother pulled you into this. I don’t know what her purpose was and I don’t know what she thought would happen between us but my position is firm when it comes to my family. And I gotta let you know that I’m not leaving Parade. Ever.”

  She looked down at the steering wheel.

  “Please don’t get me wrong,” I continued. “I’m grateful for anything you may have done to help out at the hospital but—”

  “When you were in my palm you responded to me. Got hard. Could you feel my touch?”

  I frowned. “What you talking about?”

  She looked at me.

  I repositioned myself in the seat. “Are you saying you…gripped me…on my…when…when I was out?”

  “Yes.”

  My jaw hung and then I took a deep breath. Quinn was always weird whic
h was another reason I dumped her for Sky back in the day. And I can see after all this time nothing had changed.

  “If that’s how you get off then—”

  “How could you even marry her?” She snapped. “I remember you in school, Jay. And she wasn’t your type. At least with Sky it made sense but now…”

  “She’s more my type than you know.” I smirked.

  “But why?” She yelled. “You always told me I would be next if—”

  “Why you bringing up shit I said when I was a kid?” I snapped. “I’m a grown man now, Quinn. With a family and that’s all I’m thinking about. Don’t let the cane fool you. I know what I’m saying.” I paused. “Can you understand that?”

  Silence.

  “Quinn, can you understand?”

  She looked at me, turned the truck on and pulled off. I just hoped I had my answer.

  Thirty minutes later we were outside a house that she said the nigga who works for the guy who got Parade brought her to. Said he told her it was his boss’s spot.

  I made a call and twenty minutes later my friend showed up in a black pickup. Once there, they pulled up behind Quinn’s truck and walked over to us.

  “Which one?”

  “That one,” I said pointing. I positioned myself to get out but my man Erick stopped me by shoving the truck door lightly.

  “You called us.” He said. “Let us do our thing.”

  I nodded and five minutes later him and two other dudes I didn’t know were banging on the door. I hated that my body wasn’t one hundred percent and I had to sit and watch other niggas handle business for me but for now I needed to let somebody else help. After two minutes of banging there was no sign of anybody being home and then Erick kicked in the door.

  “Uh, maybe you should go,” I told Quinn when he kicked things up to the next level. “I’ll hang out with them. Don’t wanna get you in the mix.”

  “I’m not leaving without you.”

  I looked at her and shook my head. If she wanted to hang back that was on her. Within seconds Erick and his boys were running through the house while I sat anxiously in the car waiting on the verdict.