Black and the Ugliest

by T. Styles

  Five minutes later Erick returned alone with my wife nowhere in sight. “She not in there, man.” He said. “You want us to call around and—”

  “Nah, I’m good.” My jaw twitched.

  “You sure?”

  I nodded.

  “Well I’m here if you need me. Just say the word.” He looked at the house. “You may wanna roll out though. Don’t know if the neighbors called the police. But hit me if you need me.” I shook his hand; he hit the truck once and walked to the pickup truck.

  With no other moves in play, Quinn pulled off while I sat back frustrated in the passenger seat. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I mean, did Parade really choose another nigga all because of the mistake I made?

  “I have a number,” Quinn said softly.

  “What number?” I sighed, looking at the road.

  “Of the guy she left with.”

  I looked at her. “Pull over up there.” We were about five blocks away from the house so I figured that was good enough. “Why you just telling me this now?”

  “You didn’t ask.” She paused. “Just told me to take you to the house and that’s what I did.”

  I frowned. “How you get the number?”

  “Well…remember when you were in the hospital and I was trying to tell you how I followed Parade?”

  I rolled my eyes, “Yeah.”

  “So, I followed her to a motel and saw the guy who lives in that house. He was with her and Mercer. Mercer is the dude I said that likes me. A little too much. Anyway, we met each other and let’s just say we connected and he gave me his number.”

  “Connected huh?”

  “Yeah.”

  I frowned because I recognized the name Mercer from the hospital. “Call him.”

  She removed her cell phone from her pocket and dialed a number before placing it on speaker. “Mercer, this is…”

  “I know who you are,” he said. “Is he with you?”

  She frowned. “Wait, you know I know Jay?”

  “I know you just showed up to the house with him. And that Am’s neighbors saw niggas going through his crib.” He paused. “Now where is he?”

  “I’m right here.” I said. “And she ain’t know nothing ‘bout that. It’s all on me. Now where’s my wife?”

  “Hold on.”

  The anticipation felt like forever and finally after two minutes Parade came to the phone and said, “Hello.”

  I exhaled and moved uneasily in the seat. Just hearing her voice after days of not being able to put me at ease before I even knew what she was about to say. “Parade, what’s going on? Why you moving with niggas out here when you know how I am? I’m about to kill everybody!”

  “What you want, Jay?”

  I frowned. “I wanna know why you got some nigga bringing me money and—”

  “Jay, take the money and save the house.”

  “I don’t want the fucking house!” I yelled punching the air, missing Quinn’s face by inches. “I want you.”

  “Well we over!” She yelled. “You really think I would be with you after everything you did? After you had our children put out of our home?” She paused. “I’m not interested in being married to a man like you,” she said in a low voice. “It’s…it’s over.”

  “Parade, don’t do this!”

  “Don’t call me again, Jay.”

  “PARADE!”

  Silence.

  “PARADE!”

  “You done,” an unfamiliar voice asked on the phone.

  “Who the fuck is this?”

  “It don’t matter,” he said. “You got the money. I got the girl. Be gone.”

  “You better watch your back,” I said.

  “Forget about your wife. Or I’ll help you do that by erasing you, your kids and the rest of your life off this planet.”

  ****

  PARADE

  Now that Am’rak had me for what he wanted, he moved us back down south and I was more confused than ever. Why did he want me so badly? I had yet to get a complete answer. Something was missing.

  I had just put the last of my new clothes in drawers in the bedroom, which were part of the expensive reinvention efforts when I broke down crying on the bed. I missed my kids. I missed my friends and I missed my husband. The way I talked to him on the phone was harsh but I needed him to move on. I had a feeling what Am’rak was capable of and that scared me.

  Still, there was no way I could see spending a lifetime with Am’rak but what could I do? I wasn’t even sure if he gave Jay the money like he claimed when I elected to use the card. I think he likes to play games.

  I was still crying when the bedroom door flew open. He came inside drinking something brown in a small glass. He drank more and more which made me uncomfortable.

  “You crying again?”

  Silence.

  “Answer me.” He snapped, moving deeper into the room.

  “Am’rak, what do you want with me?” I asked. “I don’t get it. I mean, why you doing this?”

  “Where’s the latest dress I bought for you?”

  “What dress?”

  His brows lowered. “You playing games now?”

  I looked away and remembered the box in the bottom of the closet. “I didn’t open it yet. I’m sorry.”

  “Well open it and get dressed. We have a long day ahead of us.” He walked out.

  ****

  ONE WEEK LATER

  JAY

  I just finished moving the last box back into our house in L.A. when someone knocked on the door. I ordered pizza for the kids because I didn’t feel like cooking so I figured it was them. To be honest I didn’t feel like doing anything.

  It felt better to be home but the constant questions from my friends about where Parade was weighed on me. I didn’t feel like telling them that I fucked up my life and because of it my wife didn’t want me back.

  Still, that’s exactly what happened.

  “Logan, get the door!” I yelled after putting up the curtains in the living room. I was almost back to myself but still needed more help than I wanted these days. So small chores like furnishing the house was difficult.

  I was almost done when I saw Wayne walk up to me. “What you want?”

  “What I want?” He said wiping his long hair out of his right eye and toward his left. “Why didn’t you tell me you were home?” He looked around from where he stood.

  “You not my wife.”

  “Jay, where is my friend?”

  I laughed.

  “Jay!” He said walking closer. “I been calling for days and I couldn’t reach Parade or you. Now what’s going on?”

  “Why you in here faking like you care?” I snapped. “If you really gave a fuck then you would’ve stayed instead of tucking tail and running back here to Hollywood.”

  He took a deep breath and for some reason I felt bad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not with the gay shit but Wayne had always come through when we needed him, especially when it came to the kids.

  “I’m sorry about that,” I said grabbing my cane that was leaning on the wall to take a seat on the sofa. “I’m just…I’m just trying to keep it together but it’s hard, Wayne. I can’t even pump fake.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” He sat next to me.

  “Nah, you didn’t deserve that shit.” I wiped my hand down my face. “It’s just that, I think I messed up big time, Wayne. And I’m pretty sure Parade ain’t ever coming back.”

  “How you figure?”

  “She left me.”

  He laughed.

  “I pour out my heart and you laugh in my face?”

  “Listen, I’ve known Parade all my life. And leaving you ain’t in her makeup. Trust me.”

  “And I have known her almost just as long, Wayne. Trust me when I say she’s gone.”

  “Not saying you don’t know her.” He paused. “But what I’m telling you is what I know about my friend. That woman loves you. To the impossible limits of this universe. And there ain�
��t no way she would leave you in her own will. None.”

  “Well why am I back in L.A. without her?”

  “That’s what I’m gonna have to find out.”

  “You can try all you want,” I paused. “But I heard it with my own ears. She’s done with me. Left me for some nigga that dropped the paper to get the house back—”

  “Jay, no!” Wayne said covering his mouth.

  “What?”

  “Jay, please don’t tell me he has her!” He was trembling.

  I stood up. “What you mean?”

  “I have to go.” He ran toward the door.

  “Go where?”

  “Back to Maryland to find my friend!” He rushed out the door.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  WAYNE

  I was packing a black duffle bag heading back to Maryland when Adrian walked in our bedroom door, eyes all wide and crazy. “Not now, Aid. Please save the speeches for the pageant.”

  “Not now?” He yelled. “Bitch, what you talking ‘bout?” He stood next to me. “And more importantly where you going?”

  “You already know.”

  He flopped on the edge of my bed. “Miss Wayne, if you go you gonna lose your husband. If you go you gonna lose your family.” He paused. “And you know I love Shantay but she’s as foul as the inside of a restaurant dumpster when you not home. Don’t leave us with that child alone!”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “I’m serious, Wayne!” He continued. “We do our best but she got way too many gay fabulous mothers to take us seriously anymore.”

  I sat next to him. “My Parade is in trouble.”

  “Your Parade is always in fucking trouble.”

  “But this is different,” I paused. “I’m afraid,” I took a deep breath. “I’m afraid if I don’t go back that she’ll die. Think about it, Aid. When was the last time you heard me speak in such ways?”

  He looked down. “Can’t lie, it’s been awhile.” He sighed. “But still, I don’t understand why you never think of us as much as you do her.”

  “Blasphemy.”

  “No it’s not.” He paused. “Anytime Parade is in trouble you drop everything, even your family and run. I’ve seen you walk away from lucrative business deals at our restaurant to defend her honor too. And it’s been that way for as long as I can remember.”

  “How do you feel about yourself?” I asked him.

  “Bitch, I’m everything. The mecca! The queen! The last. The first. The ending. The beginning.” He stood up and started fluffing his hair. “The beautiful, the fabulous—”

  “You see?” I said softly. “You don’t look like a person who needs anything but love. Parade does.”

  He flopped next to me. “Ooohhh…that’s sneaky. Gonna ask a queen how she feels about herself just to prove a point.” He pointed at me. “Real low.”

  I shrugged. “Parade has always needed me. And I thought when we moved here that she realized how much she’s worth and how much she’s loved but I fear being in a city where beauty and wealth is more important may have made her worse.” Tears rolled down my cheek. “And I have to find her, Aid. Can you understand that?”

  He nodded.

  I stood up and grabbed my duffle bag while walking to the door. I was almost out when he ran and hugged me tightly from behind. I smiled and walked out.

  When I went downstairs I was surprised to see Danny standing in the middle of the living room with his arms folded over his chest. “This how you do me?”

  “Baby, I was going to call you.” I stood in front of him and dropped my bag on the floor.

  “You were gonna call me and then leave?” He paused. “Like I’m some trick?”

  “Danny.”

  “FUCK THAT!” He yelled. “How come you the only one who gets to make moves without dealing with the consequences, Wayne?” He moved closer. “Huh? What have I done in our relationship to be treated so badly?”

  “I’m going to help Parade.”

  “You always going to fucking help Parade. Who’s gonna help this marriage? Who’s gonna help this family?”

  “Daddy,” Shantay said walking down the steps. “Is everything okay?”

  “Shantay, come with me,” Adrian said walking down the steps and up to her. “I have some new dresses I want you to try on at my place.”

  Shantay smiled at him and they walked out the door. I took a deep breath. “Danny, please don’t fight me on this. I’m begging you.”

  “And what exactly does your begging mean to me? I’m a man, Wayne. But I still need somebody to love me. So tell me how can begging help me with that?”

  “I have to do this but I don’t want to worry about not having a family waiting when I get back.”

  “By the sight of that duffle it looks like it’s a chance you’re willing to take.” He said looking down at it.

  “Danny.”

  “You know what, you gonna do what you want so go.” He walked to the front door and opened it. “Leave.”

  “Danny!”

  “If you gonna go get the fuck out!”

  I looked at him as tears rolled down my face. There was no need in me fighting with him. When he was this mad it was best to separate and talk to him when things were calmer. So I grabbed my bag off the floor, walked out the door and when I turned around he was behind me.

  I blinked a few times. “Where you going?” I asked.

  “You don’t think I’m letting you go on some wild goose chase alone do you?” He grabbed his keys from his pocket and unarmed the alarm on his car. Next he opened the passenger side door. “Now get in.”

  I smiled and ran up to him, before kissing him passionately. “I love you so much.”

  “I know you do.” He paused. “That’s the only reason I’m still here.”

  We almost made it to the street when Jay pulled in front of Danny’s car, blocking our exit. Danny backed up and allowed him inside. He parked in our driveway, grabbed his bag and exited his truck. Hopping a little, he opened the backseat of Danny’s car and slid inside.

  “Good,” Jay said. “I caught you just in time.”

  “How you know we were leaving for Maryland?” Danny asked.

  Jay looked at me. “You really asking me that?”

  Danny looked at me and they broke out laughing. I guess they had their answers.

  ****

  JAY

  DAYS LATER

  MARYLAND

  I had just finished taking a shower when the door opened and Quinn walked inside the bathroom with a folded towel in her hands. She smiled at me and I took it before wrapping it around my body. “I forgot to give you one,” she said.

  “So you waited to give it to me until I got out the shower?”

  She grinned. “Jay, to be honest, I’m just happy that you’re here. And that I have enough space in my house to help you and your friends. I won’t push myself on you unless you want me to.”

  “I’m married.”

  “I know.” She sighed. “Trust me I know.” She took another deep breath. “Dinner’s ready. Wayne and Danny are downstairs waiting on you.”

  She was about to walk out when I said, “Quinn.”

  She stopped at the door and turned around. “Yes.”

  “I just wanted to say…well I wanted to say thank you.”

  She smiled again and walked out.

  Twenty minutes later I was downstairs sitting at the table with Wayne and his husband. I’ma be real, I fuck with Wayne but being apart of this situation was not something I saw myself getting used to. With homosexuals and all. Like even now they can’t keep their hands off each other. Touching, hugging and kissing like I’m with this shit. I’m like hold off on that until you get in your own crib.

  “Yah, mind?” I said to Wayne who was seated on my right and Danny who was seated on his left.

  Quinn touched my leg and I held out my hand. I didn’t need nobody trying to quiet me.

  “What you mean, man?” Danny asked.

  �
��I came all the way back to Maryland with you and him hugging and kissing like it was going out of style.” I paused. “I thought this was about Parade. Can we take a break from this shit now?”

  “It is about Parade,” Wayne said.

  “So can you cut it out for five minutes?”

  Danny leaned back and folded his arms across his chest. “We’re here because we care about Parade too.”

  “I’m not saying—”

  “Don’t cut me off, Jay,” he said. “Hear me out.” He paused. “Now we here because we care about your wife. And you may not agree with my lifestyle but Wayne is mine and I’m not gonna be ashamed of him. Wasted too much time doing that already and I’m not gonna spend another second doing it again.” He continued. “So you want our help or not?”

  I leaned up and clasped my hands together on the table. “What we gonna do?” My teeth gritted.

  “Mercer,” Quinn said.

  I looked at her. “What about him?”

  “He called again last night.” She paused. “Gave me a new number. Said he had to trash the last phone. I think because his boss told him too.”

  “You think you could meet with him?” Wayne asked her. “Maybe somewhere private so we could talk to him?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know about that. I mean, when you guys were in L.A. he stood me up a few different times when we had plans. Still mad about Jay breaking into that house I think. We were supposed to go to dinner and stuff but like I said…I mean…he doesn’t seem interested now.”

  “He’s interested,” Danny said. “Just cautious.”

  “What’s up with that dude?” I asked.

  “I don’t know but I think he be following me to work,” Quinn continued.

  I frowned. “He came to your house too?”

  “No, I always go out the way to get here ever since I saw him out my window one day while working. It’s like he wants to get to know me but he’s afraid.”

  I looked at Danny for some reason. I guess because he use to be a cop and I was so desperate at this moment I needed some direction to be able to find Parade. At first I thought she left me on her own but after I saw Wayne’s face when he came to my house I knew I got it wrong. Then I started putting one and one together and remembered her coming to the hospital and apologizing in advance. She even said she’d get us back into the house, which she did. It’s like she knew she had to do something but I doubt she thought things would go this far.