With Every Breath

by Everhart, Allie

  "To her it was. She had her perfect husband and perfect daughter. Every day was the same. No drama. Nothing unexpected. And then I show up and ruin everything."

  "You didn't ruin anything. You were a kid. Kids aren't perfect. Your aunt can't blame you for being a kid."

  "No, but she blames me for making Amy rebel."

  "You guys were ten, right? Almost eleven? That's when kids start to rebel. It's the preteen years. It's normal. It would've happened if you were there or not."

  "She doesn't see it that way. She blames me for why Amy was wearing shorter skirts and putting on makeup and hanging out with boys."

  "Well, she's wrong. None of that was because of you. Amy was just growing up and her mom didn't like it."

  Skye glances at her watch. "I should go. I have to get home and get ready for tonight."

  My gut clenches hearing her talk about getting ready for her date. With Danny. Why the hell did I hire that guy? I should've known he'd hit on Skye. She's beautiful, sexy, funny, smart, and they're the same age. Of course he's gonna ask her out. I should've hired an old guy with a potbelly and missing teeth.

  "You gonna be out late?" I ask.

  "I don't know. Why?"

  "I usually call around ten, but if you're out then—"

  "Call me anyway. If I'm still out, I'll text you and let you know."

  "Would you text me when you get home? I want to know you made it home safely."

  "Why wouldn't I?" Her brows draw together. "Do you know something about Danny you're not telling me? He doesn't have some kind of criminal record, does he?"

  "Not that I know of, but you should still be careful."

  "I will." She smiles. "Have a good night."

  I don't tell her the same because I don't want her having a good night. Not with Danny. It's wrong of me and I know I'm being selfish but I don't want her going out with him. I doubt they even have anything in common.

  There's a knock on the door. I go over and open it and see Laney standing there, her hair in a messy bun, her face looking like she hasn't slept in days.

  "Hey, Laney! Good to see you!" I give her a quick hug. "How's the kid?"

  She groans, which I guess is her answer.

  "That bad, huh?"

  She comes inside. "All three of them have it now. I've been cleaning up vomit for days and there's no end in sight."

  Shit. I shouldn't have hugged her. I wasn't even thinking. I step back, putting some distance between us.

  "So what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be home?"

  "I needed a break. Karl's taking care of the kids. As soon as he got home from work, I took off. Told him I was coming here and may not return for a week."

  I laugh.

  "I'm not kidding. I just about lost it today. I had to get out of there." She tosses her coat on one of the chairs. "Hey, what happened in here? Did you finally hire a decorator?"

  "No. Skye did this. We went shopping last weekend and she redid the place."

  "It looks great," she says, assessing the room. "I love the kid area. I've been telling you to do that for months."

  "I know, and it was a good idea. The parents love it."

  She walks over to the reception counter. "Did Skye leave the files for me?"

  "Yeah. They're in the drawer." I walk over and show her. "Are you really here to work? I thought you were kidding."

  She picks up a folder and flips through it. "I told Skye I was coming. Didn't she tell you?"

  I stop to think. "I don't remember. Maybe. Actually she left me a note earlier. I think it did say something about you coming back to work but I thought it was next week."

  "I told her I'd be in tonight if I could. I wasn't sure if Karl would go for it but by the time he got home, I didn't care. I needed to get out of there and I wasn't taking no for an answer."

  "I don't know how you do it, Laney." I shake my head. "I couldn't handle it. Marriage? Three kids? It's too much," I say with a laugh. "I'm not even close to being ready for that."

  "You will be when you meet the right person. Marriage and kids are hard no matter what age you are but if you have the right partner, you can make it work. Like Karl. He saw how frazzled I was when he got home and didn't even try to get me to stay. I told him I was going and he said to do what I needed to do and that he'd take care of the kids." A tired smile crosses her face. "That might've been the nicest thing he's ever said to me."

  "He's a good guy," I say, remembering him from high school. He wasn't too smart but he was really nice.

  Laney takes a seat on the stool by the counter. "So what are you up to tonight?"

  "Not much. Probably watch some TV and go to bed."

  "That's it? No hot date?" she kids.

  "I haven't had time to find one. Business has really picked up. I've been working nonstop."

  "What about Skye?"

  "She's been working a lot too. But she also has classes so she's usually just here in the afternoons."

  "I wasn't talking about work. I was talking about you and her."

  "What about us?"

  "Um, the fact that you're totally hot for each other," she says like it's obvious. Is it? I try to hide how I feel about her but maybe I'm not very good at it.

  "She's my employee. I don't see her that way."

  "Uh huh," Laney says, rolling her eyes. "You know I can tell when you're lying, right?" When I don't answer, she says, "I can smell a lie a mile away. It's a mom thing. My kids lie all the time. I can see it coming before they even open their mouths. They just have that look on their face, you know? That look that says whatever they're about to say is pure bullshit."

  "I'm not one of your kids. Your bullshit meter doesn't work on me."

  "Sure it does. A lie is a lie, no matter who it comes from, and I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty that you're lying when you say you don't have feelings for Skye."

  "And what exactly am I doing that tells you that?"

  "The way you were looking at her when you first introduced me to her. I knew right then and there you were falling for her."

  "I wasn't falling for her. And there was no look. I admit I like her, but as a friend. That's it."

  She smiles. "Denying it only makes it more true."

  I sigh. "Are we done here? I need to go clean up."

  "Go ahead. I wouldn't want to keep you from your exciting evening alone in your apartment." She snickers.

  "Just as exciting as your night in the office," I shoot back.

  She laughs as I walk away. When I'm about to go up the stairs to my apartment, I hear her again.

  "She likes you," Laney calls out.

  I stop and turn back. "What was that?"

  "I said she likes you. In case you're too clueless to figure that out."

  Walking back to her I say, "Who are we talking about?"

  "Skye," she says, like I'm stupid for not knowing. "You can't seriously tell me you don't know this by now."

  "She doesn't like me. Not like that. Skye sees me as her boss. And someone to talk to. It's nothing more than that."

  "It is, but neither one of you seems ready to admit it, which is too bad. I think you make a cute couple." She opens one of the folders. "Do you know if Mr. Mathers ever paid his bill? He said the check would be here last week but I'm not seeing it."

  "I don't know. Probably not." I walk up to her and close the folder so she'll pay attention. "Why do you think Skye likes me like that? You don't even know her."

  "I know her enough to know she likes you. The first time I met her she couldn't stop talking about you. And last week when I talked to her on the phone to check on work stuff, the conversation always ended up back on you. About some funny thing you said. Or how you call her every night." She pauses. "Do you really call her every night?"

  "I do, but just to check on her. She's going through a rough time. You know she was the one in the bridge accident, right? The girl who survived?"

  "Oh my God, are you serious?" Laney's eyes bug out
. "I had no idea. That's awful."

  "Yeah, and she's not doing so great. I mean, she's better than when I met her but she still gets really down sometimes, which is understandable, given what happened."

  "I KNEW I sensed a connection between you two," she says, like she just solved a mystery. "Now it makes sense."

  "It's not a connection. More of a shared experience. I think that's what you're seeing between us. People like Skye and me who've had that kind of loss feel something for each other but it's not romantic. It's more of a feeling of understanding."

  Laney shakes her head. "It's more than that. You definitely seem to get each other, like you've known each other forever, but there's something else. That thing you can't really define. Maybe love?" she says with a smile.

  "It's not love," I say, smiling back. "Since when are you such a romantic?"

  "I'm usually not. Maybe it's the lack of sleep." She starts to yawn, then stops suddenly and looks at me. "When was the accident? With Skye and that girl? September, right?"

  I nod. "That's the other thing. Her cousin died the same day Seth died. I didn't realize that until she told me. I'd heard about the bridge accident but at the time I was too wrapped up in what happened to Seth to pay attention to anything else that was going on."

  "Wow," Laney says with a faraway look. "That's strange. Almost eerie. You both lost someone on the same day. Both in tragic accidents."

  "Which is why Skye and I understand each other so well. But it's nothing more than that. In fact, she's out with Danny tonight. He's the new guy. You haven't met him yet."

  "How's he working out?"

  "So far he's been okay."

  He's actually been doing a great job but I don't know if I can keep him around if he's dating Skye. I don't want to see the two of them flirting with each other, or worse, catch them making out in the back office.

  "Do you like him?"

  I shrug. "I guess."

  She laughs. "See? Another sign you like her. It's so obvious I can't believe you're trying to deny it."

  "What are you talking about?"

  "You're jealous. You're jealous of Danny because he's out with Skye and you're stuck here by yourself."

  "I'm not jealous," I insist. "Why would I be jealous of some punk ass kid with a stupid hairstyle that keeps falling in his eyes so he can't even see." I huff. "If that's what she likes, so be it. Nothing I can do to stop her."

  Laney gets up and puts her hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eye. "Okay, just to be clear. Skye likes you, as in she wants to date you. She may not have said it but it's clear as day. I know for a fact she'd rather be with you tonight than Danny but for some stupid reason you're hiding how you feel about her so she's going out with someone else. Someone who isn't afraid to tell her he likes her. So you can either choose to sit back and watch her date other guys, or you can man up and tell her how you feel." She lets go of me and smiles. "I suggest the latter. Then in a few years, you and her can be just like Karl and me. Married with three kids who are puking all over your house and making you actually want to go into work on a Friday night."

  "Sounds great," I say with a laugh. "I'm gonna go clean up. When I'm done you want to order dinner? Maybe a pizza?"

  "Pizza," she moans. "That sounds sooo good. I've been living on peanut butter sandwiches for days. Haven't had time to go to the store."

  "Then order one up." I take a twenty from my pocket and give it to her. "I'll be down in a few minutes."

  I go upstairs and take a shower, thinking about what Laney said. She's right in that I'm definitely falling for Skye, but does Skye really feel the same way? Or was Laney just making that up? If Skye really was into me, she wouldn't be going out with some other guy.

  I wonder where he's taking her. Is it just dinner or does he have something else planned? He better not be taking her back to his apartment. It's only a first date. They shouldn't be doing anything on a first date. Not even kissing. If she were on a first date with me I'd definitely kiss her but we already know each other. We've shared things with each other. Things we wouldn't share with anyone else. We know more about each other than people who've been dating for months, so a kiss on a first date wouldn't be at all inappropriate.

  Now I'm thinking about kissing her. What it'd feel like. Her taste. How our mouths would fit together. Our bodies.

  Shit. I need to stop this. I turn off the shower and quickly dry off. As I'm getting dressed, I hear the pizza guy arrive. I go downstairs and Laney and I watch the new TV while we eat our pizza. She looks so exhausted I tell her to go home and forget about work but she insists on staying. I go upstairs and hear her leave just before ten.

  I want to call Skye but don't know if I should. What if she's making out with Danny right now? Thinking that's possible makes me immediately call her.

  16

  Skye

  The phone rings and my heart skips when I see it's Travis. I quickly pick up the phone and answer.

  "Hey, Travis. You're early."

  "Am I?"

  "Just by a few minutes. It's not quite ten yet."

  "Guess I didn't notice. Should I call back in a few minutes?"

  "No," I say with a laugh.

  Having him call early normally wouldn't mean anything but tonight I'm wondering if he's early because he's anxious to find out what happened with Danny and me. When I told him we were going out, I got the feeling Travis didn't approve but I wasn't sure if it was because he was jealous or because he didn't want coworkers to date. I wish it was jealousy but he's dating Shana so I'm sure that wasn't it. Maybe he just doesn't like Danny.

  "So how was your date?" he asks.

  "Good. We had dinner, then went bowling."

  It was actually a fun night. I'm not that attracted to Danny but he's nice and he tells lots of stories so I definitely wasn't bored. It was better than spending the night alone in my room. It's hard to believe I used to look forward to being alone in my room and now I look forward to being away from it.

  "Bowling, huh?" Travis says. "I didn't know you bowled."

  "I know how. I'm just not very good. What'd you do tonight?"

  "Laney was here so we ordered a pizza. Then she worked on the invoices while I watched TV upstairs."

  "You saw my note about her working tonight, right?"

  "Actually, I didn't, but that's fine. I was just surprised when I saw her."

  "Her kids are sick. She said she needed a break."

  "Yeah, I hope she's not contagious. She claims she's not but I'm not sure I believe her."

  "Just wipe everything down with the antibacterial wipes I bought. They're behind the counter, just under the printer."

  "You bought antibacterial wipes?"

  "Flu season is coming up. I thought we should be prepared."

  "You think of everything, don't you?" I smile. "You used the petty cash, right?"

  "No, I just paid for them. They weren't that much."

  "You shouldn't be paying for that stuff. I'll give you the money tomorrow."

  We're both silent. It's an awkward silence, which we haven't had before. There's something off with us tonight. The comfort and ease I usually feel when we talk seems to be missing. Like there's tension between us.

  "So anything else?" Travis finally says.

  "What do you mean?"

  "About tonight? Anything else happen?"

  Is he asking if I did anything with Danny? If so, that's personal. He doesn't need to know. But for the record, nothing happened. I could tell Danny wanted to kiss me goodnight but I took off before he could.

  "Not really," I say.

  "So are you going out again? With Danny?"

  "He wants to go to a movie tomorrow."

  "And you said yes?"

  "I don't have any plans, so yeah."

  "I thought your uncle was coming to see you."

  "He texted and said he can't come until Sunday. Something's going on at work and he has to go into the office tomorrow."

  "So you
're going out with Danny," he says, like he's making sure. It's odd and I feel like I'm missing something. Is he trying to tell me something? If so, I wish he'd just come out and say it. And then I suddenly remember his dinner invite from earlier.

  "Oh, were you still wanting to go to dinner?" I ask. "Sorry, I forgot about that."

  "Don't worry about it. Go ahead and keep your plans."

  "I can change them. I don't think Danny would mind. Or I could meet up with him later, after you and I have dinner."

  "Forget dinner. It was just an idea."

  "Yeah, but—"

  "Skye, I just didn't want you home alone on a Saturday. That's all. But now you have plans so it's fine. It's good. You and Danny will have fun."

  My heart sinks because for a moment I thought he wanted me. Like I want him. I thought he was fighting for me. For us. Finally making it clear how he feels. And in a way, I guess he did. But it's not what I wanted. Instead of telling me to ditch Danny and go out with him, he told me to go out and have a good time. And what's even worse is that he admitted he was only asking me to dinner so I wouldn't be alone. Because he pities me. Feels sorry for me.

  That hurts even more. I don't want his pity. I want him. We have so much in common and have such a great time when we're together. He makes me feel hopeful. Like I can eventually go on with my life, even though part of me is still so sad and weighted down with guilt. Travis has been my lifeline. He saved me. Literally. But I guess all we'll ever be is friends.

  "I should let you go," he says.

  He's ending the call already? We've only talked a few minutes. We usually talk for an hour or two, sometimes more.

  "Okay, well, goodnight, Travis."

  "Goodnight."

  Tomorrow's Saturday and I worked so much this week Travis said I could have tomorrow off so I took him up on the offer, knowing my uncle would be here in the afternoon. Now he's not coming and I'm tempted to go into work just so I can see Travis and figure out what's going on with him. I don't want to lose his friendship, or whatever this is between us. If he's angry with me, which he seems to be, I want to know why. I want to fix it.

  An hour later I'm still awake, this thing with Travis really bothering me. I get my phone out to text him but then realize he's probably asleep. He had a long, hard week and I don't want to wake him up. He needs to rest.