“Oh, right.” Jesse hadn’t once mentioned a party, and he’d had plenty of opportunities. Why hadn’t he told me? “I haven’t decided yet,” I lied, feeling like a fool.
Dane nodded. “It can get kinda wild, but they always have a bit of a blowout when another chapter’s in town.”
He’d stayed in Black Stone…for a party. One he hadn’t told me about. My belly squirmed. “Right, well, I better get back to work. Catch you later.”
“Later, Lila,” Eves called after me.
I pulled my phone free as I walked down the street.
Lila: You up to much tonight?
Jesse: Nah, just club shit to deal with. Miss your mouth, Bambi.
I stared down at his text and the squirming in my belly turned into something else, something ugly, something that I didn’t like. He was lying to me for some reason. I hated lies. If he didn’t want me to go to his club party, or if there was some other reason he didn’t want me there, I deserved honesty.
I went back to work, but the afternoon dragged. By the time I locked up I was running on nervous energy and anger. When I climbed back in my car, instead of heading home, I ended up at Trix’s trailer. It was parked in Quinn’s driveway, well, her old family home.
Quinn had moved into Bull’s place when they married and when Trixie needed somewhere to park her mobile home, Quinn had offered her the empty house. But Trix preferred the trailer, so she’d claimed the backyard. It was cool, though. She’d inherited it from her gran and Trix said it gave her a sense of freedom. That she could hit the road whenever she wanted, and no matter where she went, she’d always have her home with her.
I knocked on the door.
She pulled it open, and as soon as she saw me, frowned. “What the hell happened?”
“Is it that obvious?”
Jimmy Chew stuck his head out, giving me a sniff. “Girl, you look ready to tear shit up.”
“Sounds about right.”
“Get in here and tell me everything.”
I grabbed Trix’s arm. “I’m not sure this is such a good idea.”
After filling Trixie in, we’d riled each other up, picked up Addie, and driven to Black Stone. Now we stood outside the Ramblers’ clubhouse, looking in through the chain-link fence. There were bikes lined up across the front, a lot of bikes.
A massive converted warehouse sat in the middle of a huge concrete lot. There were a couple of four-bay garages and a bunch of other smaller outbuildings dotted in rows along either side and across the back from what I could see.
People were scattered all over the place, talking, laughing, dancing. Music pumped from the back, and going by the way light flickered behind the warehouse, they had a bonfire back there as well.
“You belong here,” Trix said. “Grifter’s your boyfriend. Some of the women who come to parties like this are here to take a walk on the wild side, which is cool. Do your thing, sisters. But you need to make it known that Grifter is taken.”
“I don’t want Jesse to think I don’t trust him.” Nerves were now flying through my belly.
Addie planted her hands on her hips. “He lied to you, Lila. If nothing else, you need to confront him. And if something messed up is going on, you can tell him where he can stick it and we’ll get you outta here. Either way, with you in that outfit, he’ll eat his tongue when he sees you strut your sexy ass in there.”
He had lied.
And he had been avoiding me, I was sure of it.
I’d told myself after Jarod that I’d never let anyone make me feel the way he had ever again. And right now, I didn’t feel great. Jesse had made me feel this way, whether he meant to or not.
I thought Jesse and I were growing stronger. No, we hadn’t been seeing each other very long, but we had a complicated past. I didn’t think honesty was too much to ask for.
Trix held out her fist. “You ready?”
I bumped it with my own. “Let’s do this.”
Trix, Addie, and I strode through the tall gate. Usually Everly would be here with us, she was my sidekick in all things, but I was worried she’d tell Dane and he’d give his friend a heads-up that I was coming. I didn’t want that.
Jesse had kept tonight a secret from me for a reason, and I wanted to know why.
There were a couple of younger-looking bikers with patches that said “prospect” on their vests standing out front by the bikes and they perked up when they saw us.
“Ladies,” one of them said, swaggering toward us. “You’re looking fucking fine tonight.”
The other one joined them. “Why don’t you hang here and keep us company.”
I straightened my spine. “I’m actually looking for Grifter.”
“Knowing him, he’s already found company,” the first guy said.
“He better freaking not have,” Trix said. “This is his girlfriend.”
The guy actually paled. “You’re Riff’s woman?”
“Just tell us where to find him?” Addie said.
“Tell ’em,” the other guy said. “If she’s telling the truth and you don’t send her to him, Riff’ll kick your skinny ass.”
The first guy scowled and crossed his arms. “Round back, last I saw him.”
“Thank you,” I said and headed for the door of the warehouse.
“I’d go around the side,” the second guy said. “Shit’s getting wild in there.”
I smiled my thanks and we hustled around the side of the building to the back.
“Whoa,” Addie said beside me.
Whoa indeed.
The party was in full swing back here. There were rough-looking bikers everywhere. Topless girls dancing. People making out…doing a lot more than that.
“No wonder Grifter didn’t tell you about it,” Trix muttered.
Honestly, I wanted to run the other way. This was even worse than what I’d seen at his house all those months ago.
“Hey, honey,” some older guy with a scraggly beard said.
That’s when I spotted Jesse. He stood on the other side of the bonfire. He was holding a bottle of beer and talking to a couple of guys. He was in low-slung jeans, his leather cut, with nothing on underneath despite the cold, showing off all that muscled, tattooed skin. There were girls dancing almost on top of him. But Jesse didn’t seem to notice, deep in conversation.
His gaze lifted at that moment and somehow came straight to me. His entire body rocked back—then he was on the move, striding around the bonfire toward me.
The older biker grabbed my arm. “Hey, I’m talking to you.”
Jesse planted a hand in the guy’s chest and shoved him off. “She’s taken.”
The guy stumbled back. I’d barely noticed him. I’d only seen Jesse.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Lila?” His gaze bored into mine before dipping, taking in what I was wearing. His nostrils flared.
“You lied about tonight,” I said. “And I know you’ve been avoiding me.”
His green gaze was hard. “I had stuff to deal with.”
“Okay, so why didn’t you just tell me that instead of lying to me?”
His jaw clenched. “Let’s go, and we’ll talk.”
“Was it so you could hook up with one of those girls?”
His head jerked back and he looked around, like he hadn’t even realized there were girls with their boobs out dancing around them. “What? No,” he choked out. “Of course not.”
“Are you embarrassed of me…”
“Christ, Lila, no.”
“You want to leave?” Trix said, moving closer to me.
Jesse looked at her, then to Addie, only now realizing I had my friends with me. “You two need to leave,” he bit out. “I can take care of Lila, but you shouldn’t be here,” he said to my friends. “Grinder,” he called to a guy close by. “Walk these girls to their car. Anything happens to them, I’m holding you personally responsible.”
Grinder moved in and started herding my friends away.
“Now h
ang on a minute,” Addie said as Trixie tried to break away.
Jesse shook his head, looking harder than I’ve ever seen him. “Lila’s staying, you two are leaving.”
Trix looked ready to do battle and Addie was right behind her. Shit. “I’m okay,” I said to my friends. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure I was yet, but they weren’t going to back down and neither was Jesse, unless I said something. “I’m with Jesse, I’ll be fine.”
Trix narrowed her eyes. “Are you sure?”
Jesse growled, cursing under his breath, and his hard gaze cut to Grinder. “Take them to their car.”
I nodded to Trix and did my best to give Addie a reassuring smile.
“Call us if you need us,” Addie said.
“And if not, I still expect a call in the morning, okay?” Trix said.
I nodded.
Then they let the big biker herd them back the way we’d come.
Jesse looked down at me. “We need to have a conversation, Bambi.”
“Yes, we do.” My hand lifted to his cheek before I could stop myself, tracing the multicolored bruise there. “What happened to your face?”
He covered my hand, pulling it away, and threaded his fingers with mine. “Nothing. Took a hit during training.”
“Grifter!” Two girls came running up to him, both topless, boobs out for all to see. They stopped beside us and grinned up at him. To his credit, Jesse looked unmoved and uninterested, in fact his gaze was downright cold.
“Busy,” he said dismissively.
They both turned, eyeing me from head to toe. I had my wavy hair down and a little tousled, and I’d gone heavy with the eye makeup. I’d worn my contacts to show it off. It was cold, though, so yes, I’d tried to dress provocatively, but I wasn’t willing to die of hypothermia to impress anyone. My jean skirt was tight and short and my tight, long-sleeved red shirt was low-cut. But I was also wearing a cute little jacket, because again, it was cold.
Still, I looked like a nun compared to the other girls here. Suddenly, I was extremely self-conscious. Jesse's fingers tightened around mine, then he was leading me across the yard to one of the small outbuildings with a porch and couch on it.
“Sit there,” he muttered and disappeared inside.
Jesse was different here with his club. Harder. Colder.
I bit my lip, my belly squirming.
He was back a few moments later with a quilt.
I screwed up my face when he went to put it on me. “No, thank you. God knows what’s on there.”
He threw it on me. “It’s mine. No one’s touched it but me.”
“Yours?”
He shrugged. “This is my room when I crash at the clubhouse.”
“Why? You already have a house.”
He sat down beside me and tugged me onto his lap, pulling the quilt over us. “Because I earned it.”
I tried to wriggle away, my anger still strong. “How?”
He scowled and tugged me back. “Stop trying to change the fucking subject.”
The anger I’d been working to suppress exploded, and I pushed at him, struggling to get off his lap. He held on tight.
I shoved at his chest. “Don’t you dare get pissy at me. I have every right to come here and ask my boyfriend why he chose to avoid me and lie about what he was doing.”
“Pissy?”
“Yes, pissy.”
“Boyfriend?”
I flushed hot. “I ah, I mean, I just…”
“I’m not your boyfriend, Lila.”
Pain lanced through me and I struggled again to get away.
He cupped my chin firmly but gently and made me look at him. “We’re not in high school. I’m not your boyfriend, I’m your man.”
My heart beat harder at the green flames in his eyes. “And are you just mine, or everyone else’s as well?” I rasped.
His nostrils flared. “That’s what you thought was going on? What I was doing here tonight? The conclusion you immediately leaped to?”
I refused to look away. “It’s an obvious conclusion to leap to.”
I didn’t think his eyes could get any colder. I was wrong. “Why?”
I opened my mouth, closed it. I’m not sure why I assumed he’d cheat on me. I guess I didn’t have very high expectations when it came to men. My ex had made me feel worthless, like there was something wrong with me. And in the end, I’d driven him away.
And when Jesse had been away from me those months, I’d convinced myself he’d been screwing his way around the country before he picked up some random girl to bring home with him. Only he hadn’t. My battered heart forgot that sometimes.
I bit my lip and glanced out at the party, at the beautiful women, barely dressed, confident. “There’s a lot of temptation here.”
He cupped my face again and made me look at him. “I’ve been there and done that. I’ll be honest, I’ve fucked around a lot…”
I tried to pull away, but he held me fast.
“I’m not interested in casual hookups anymore. I don’t want that. I don’t want any of those women. I want you, Lila. Only fucking you. I thought we’d covered this? Christ, what we did in my bed the night you came to me was hotter than anything I’ve done with everyone else.”
I flushed hot. Focus, Lila. “Then why did you lie?” I whispered.
There was a party raging just a few yards from us, people laughing loudly, dancing, drinking, but here on this couch, cocooned in warmth under this quilt, we were a million miles away, like we weren’t part of any of it.
He took off his hat and tossed it aside, rubbing his hand over his hair. “I didn’t get the bruise in the ring.”
“What?”
“It was in a fight. I didn’t want you to see this.” He pointed to the bruise and cleared his throat. “My world isn’t like yours. It’s not nice and tidy. It’s fucked up sometimes…”
“You think mine’s nice and tidy?” But then what else would he think? I hadn’t shared any of the important stuff with him.
He searched my gaze. “Tidier than mine.”
I got it then, it sunk home. “You were trying to protect me?”
“Yeah, Bambi.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want you to do that. If I’m going to be part of your life, it can’t just be the parts you pick and choose. If you want this…if you want me, you need to let me in.” I held his green gaze. “Show me all of you, Jesse.”
Chapter Fourteen
Jesse
I looked down into her beautiful eyes and forced myself to lie to her. “Okay.” I could never show her all of me. Not with sweet, little Lila. I would never taint her with the dark shit of my past, the twisted shit I’d done for the club.
She smiled wide, and she was so beautiful my gut ached and my skin seemed too tight over my muscles. Yeah, I was a fucking bastard, but I’d lie, keep on lying. I’d do anything to keep the truth from her—to keep her.
She wouldn’t look at me the way she did anymore if she knew the things I’d done, where I’d come from. How could she? The club was my family, and I didn’t regret anything I’d done for them—I’d do anything to protect family. Anything. But I wasn’t so sure Lila would be okay with the truth.
She pressed closer, tipping her face up. Her hand on my bare chest was a molten hot brand. I leaned in and claimed her mouth. I was addicted to her mouth, her taste. That fuller lower lip drove me fucking wild. I opened, deepening the kiss, licking into her heat, sliding my tongue over hers. So hungry for her. Always hungry for her.
I cupped one of her soft tits and squeezed lightly. Christ, I loved her tits. She gasped and her nipple tightened against my palm. She didn’t ask me to stop, she pressed closer, wanting more. My girl liked it as dirty as me, and she’d asked me to show her everything. I intended to.
I needed my skin against hers badly, so I burrowed up under her shirt, cupping her again over her bra this time. “Fuck, you got nice tits,” I rasped, voice tight from how much I wanted her.
&nb
sp; I sucked on her lower lip, nipped it, sucked on it again, then opened my mouth wider, forcing hers to do the same, and fucked her mouth with mine. Christ, kissing had never been this good. Never. Just this made me impossibly hard.
The texture of her lips, her taste, the scent of her skin, was my drug. She lit me on fire. With a growl, I tugged the cup of her bra down and hot, soft flesh spilled over into my hand. I shuddered and my dick throbbed. “Jesus, Lila.”
She made a desperate sound and chased my mouth, just as hungry for me. I wanted more of that, more of Lila greedy for me.
Her hand moved over my chest, her fingernail grazing my nipple, then down over my abs and my cock started weeping.
I didn’t want to let go of her tit, but I wanted under her skirt so bad, it was all I could think about. I took my hand away and chuckled darkly at her whimper of protest. I didn’t make her wait, I slid my hand up the inside of her soft, bare thigh to the teeny, tiny denim skirt that I’d wanted under the moment I laid eyes on her.
The first time I’d kissed her, I’d tried to touch her pussy and she’d slammed her thighs shut, had blushed and shied away. It seemed so long ago now.
She didn’t do that this time. No, she fucking spread wider for me, giving me room.
I groaned into her mouth. “You want more, Bambi?”
She trembled against me and nodded. “Y-yes, please.”
That soft plea ripped through me. Fuck, I was close to coming in my jeans. That’s all it took—Lila wanting me to touch her.
“What color?”
“Hmmm?”
“Your panties. Bet they’re pretty. All silky and dainty.”
“I l-like nice underwear.”
Yeah, she did. And every morning I wanted to know what she was sliding on, how they’d look molded to her gorgeous body.
“What color, baby?”
“Purple.”
I groaned again and my dick throbbed harder.
Her and me, we should be impossible. To anyone looking in we were wrong for each other in every way. But when I was with her like this, just her and me, nothing felt more right. Nothing.
“You want me to make you come?” I said between kisses, running my knuckles along the seam of her pussy over those silky panties, waiting. Holding my breath.
Bad For You (Rocktown Ink Book 4) Page 11