He tapped my nose. “Shut it, baby. You’re fucking hot like this. You’re always hot.”
“Shut it?”
“Yep. Now, I gotta get to Rocktown early, so we need to be efficient. Option one: You stroke my dick and I finger your pussy. Option two: Sixty-nine. Option three: Hard and fast fuck.” He gave my butt a squeeze. “Lady’s choice.”
My face heated and a pulse between my thighs started instantly. How was that possible? How was it he could turn me on so easily? “Um…”
Someone banged on the door. “Riff! Stones wants to see you. Now.”
Jesse stiffened and growled.
He did not look happy.
“Everything okay?” I asked, snuggling closer.
He let out a long breath. “Yeah.” He kissed me hard and fast and rolled out of bed. “Sorry, babe.”
I frowned. “You’re going, now?”
My gaze moved over his gorgeous naked body as he scooped up his jeans and tugged them on. “Promise I’ll make it up to you.” His gaze darkened. “Won’t be long, then we’ll head home.”
I didn’t know how motorcycle clubs worked, but obviously when the president called, you went, even if you were in bed with your girlfriend. “Okay.”
He shoved his feet in his boots and came back. He put a hand to the bed, leaned in, kissed me again, then sauntered out shirtless.
I felt weird just lying here and quickly got up and dressed. I was pulling on my boots when the door opened. I turned, expecting Jesse, but it was Sofia.
His sister-in-law who’d tried to get between Jesse and me.
She smiled. “Riff told me to come keep you company. I think he’s scared you’ll leave this room and walk into something that might shock you for life…or at least make you think twice about coming back.” She glanced at my feet. “Nice boots.”
“Thanks.” I smiled back but remained wary. Right now, she was being nice, so could I. “And what would I walk into if I left this room?”
She sat on the bed beside me. “Well, I just came across the aftermath of a threesome in the clubhouse.”
She chuckled at my obviously shocked expression.
My belly squirmed. “Does that kind of thing happen a lot?”
“People in the club are free and easy. You can screw who you like. As long as a girl hasn’t been claimed and she’s into it, she’s fair game.”
“Has Jesse, did he ever…” I slammed my mouth shut. Did I really want to know the answer to that?
“Has he had group sex?” She winced, which was answer enough. “People don’t have hang-ups about sex here. We don’t judge, you know?”
Unlike me.
The old you, I reminded myself, even as I worried that I could never be enough for Jesse. He was used to free and easy, zero inhibitions.
“Riff really likes you. I wouldn’t worry.”
I nodded, feeling weird, my happy glow washing away with the image in my head of Jesse and a bunch of women in this bed with him.
“Hey…um, I wanted to apologize to you.”
I took Sofia in. She was nervous. “You don’t need to do that…”
“No, I do. When you called…when we were on the road, I made it seem like Riff and I were together. It was a dick move.” She stared down at her feet. “I was messed up, getting out of a bad situation, and I guess…I felt threatened by you, scared Riff would get sick of dealing with me and my shit, leave me to go to you and forget all about me.” She glanced at me. “Dumb, I know. Riff’s not like that.”
No. He wasn’t. “How are you doing? Jesse mentioned…he didn’t share much, but enough.”
Sofia’s smile was wobbly. “It’s been hard.”
“You miss him, don’t you?” I said gently.
Her gaze shot to me.
I didn’t know Sofia that well, at all, really, but I reached out and covered her hand resting on the mattress, with mine. “My situation was nothing like yours. Nothing compared to what you’ve been through. But getting away, breaking free, from any kind of abuse, it can mess with your head.”
“Yeah, yeah it can,” Sofia choked.
Her hand turned under mine and she wrapped her fingers around mine. “It sucks.”
“Big-time,” I said and held her gaze. “It does get easier.” I was still working on a couple of things, trusting myself for one, my own judgement, and my confusing feelings when it came to sex. Yes, my parents, my mom especially, was in my head, but even a few months ago, the thought of having sex again made me feel so wracked with guilt and humiliation, my stomach had churned.
So I’d definitely made progress.
“I hope you’re right,” Sofia said.
“I haven’t been through what you have, but I’m here if you ever need to talk, okay?”
She blinked rapidly, then finally looked at me, a small smile curling her lips. “I like you, Lila.”
“I like you too, Sofia.”
There was a thump by the door and Jesse walked in, his expression unreadable. “You ready, Bambi?” He glanced at the woman beside me and his expression softened. “You need anything before I take off, Soph?”
She gave my hand another squeeze, then stood. “Nope. I’m fine.”
“You’ll call if you’re worried about anything?” Jesse said.
Sofia nodded.
Jesse crossed the floor and pulled her in for a quick hug, then she waved at me and quickly left. Jesse frowned after her, finished dressing, then walked around the room, grabbing a few things and stuffing them in a pack before turning back to me. “Let’s go.”
Something was off, but I didn’t have time to question him. He took my hand and rushed me out the door and around the warehouse to the lineup of bikes out front. Jesse strapped his pack on the back and glanced up at me.
“Wait there.”
He strode back into the warehouse, and I stood there feeling out of place as several bikers milling around openly looked me up and down, assessing. I didn’t know where to look, so I stared at my feet. Last night had been intense, kind of crazy, but in a good way. I’d liked it, some parts I’d loved. This morning, I’d been confronted again with our differences.
I didn’t belong here and everyone knew it.
Then Jesse was coming toward me again, a jacket in his hand, and the look on his face as he stared down the men who had been watching me sent a shiver down my spine. It was cold, flat, full of warning. There was no sign of my Jesse in his green eyes.
The men quickly looked away and Jesse strode up to me and gripped my chin. “Ignore them. They’re just jealous you’re getting on the back of my bike and not theirs.”
My face heated.
A slow smile curled his lips. “FYI, my dick gets hard every time you blush like that.”
He held up the jacket and I slid my arms in the sleeves and huffed out a laugh. “You must be in pain a lot.”
“You have no idea,” he said, a growl in his voice that made my nipples tingle.
I glanced down at myself, at the leather jacket I was wearing. It was a woman’s and, though a bit snug over my boobs when Jesse zipped it up, it was worn and soft and fit pretty good. “Who does this belong to?”
“Sofia.”
Her husband was a biker, and it was obvious that she’d worn this jacket a lot, probably daily, doing what I was about to: climb on the back of a bike. She was still spending time with the club despite getting away from Jesse’s brother. Like these people were her family. Like it wasn’t just about riding bikes and parties but a way of life.
Did I want this to be my life, like it was hers?
Jesse was messing around with his bike when a car with several women pulled up. When they climbed out, their chatter, their laughter, carried across the lot. I couldn’t take my eyes off them as they strode full of confidence toward the warehouse. They each wore leather vests, smaller versions of what the guys wore.
I read the back of one and flinched.
The woman at the back of the pack had a patch that read �
��Property of Stones” across it. The others had the same patch, declaring they each belonged to a different biker.
My stomach turned over.
Jesse started his bike and glanced back at me. “Let’s go, babe. We’ll stop at my place and get you some pants before we leave town or you’ll freeze. Soph still has some shit there. She said to grab whatever you needed.”
Wordlessly, I hitched up my skirt, there was no other choice. Jesse seemed to enjoy this, and I climbed on behind him. I wrapped my arms around his waist, an unsettling feeling uncurling behind my ribs as we pulled out onto the road.
Is that what Jesse wanted? To be with a woman who would wear a leather jacket, worn from riding like Sofia’s, who would fit in with his club, his family?
Who would wear a vest like those women, proudly telling the world that they were nothing but some man’s property?
I’d just gotten away from parents who’d thought I was theirs to manipulate, to control.
Jesse’s not like that.
I held him tighter. If that’s what he wanted from me—we had no future.
I wouldn’t go back to living that way, not for him.
Not for anyone.
Chapter Sixteen
Lila
The morning had been pretty steady. The fact that I was only putting the returns away now, just before lunch, said a lot. Our little library was popular. We also had story time on Monday mornings, so moms could leave their little ones in good hands while they picked out new books.
Pauline, the woman who used to work here, had offered to read. She loved the library, but due to a few health issues had retired. This brought her back to the place she loved. She told me it made her feel useful. It worked well for both of us.
I’d also had a chance for a quick catch-up with Kate. She’d brought in coffee right after I opened and we’d gabbed for a little while. I hadn’t seen her as much lately and I loved hanging out with my sister.
Now the library was empty, and I carried a stack of books to the Romance section and got busy putting them away.
“Don’t move. Stay tight there, just like that,” a rough, extremely sexy voice said behind me.
I stilled instantly, shivering when Jesse moved up behind me and pressed his body against my back.
“I think I just walked into one of my fantasies,” he said against my ear. “I also remember you promising to make this particular one a reality.”
“I don’t remember promising anything of the sort,” I said, heart pounding faster. It had been a week since I crashed his party and it had been the best week of my life.
“Yeah, you do. I hadn’t been inside you yet. We were on the couch and you were desperate to be fucked, but you were shy and nervous and I was trying to do the right thing.” He nipped my ear and I shivered. “Before my good girl let me see just how bad she wanted to be.”
He gripped the sides of my skirt and slid it higher.
“What are you doing?”
“Having lunch.”
I laughed breathlessly.
“The door’s locked, we’re all alone.” He gripped my hips and steered me toward one of the tables.
How could he turn me on so fast? How was it possible? But he did, every time.
His hand went to the back of my neck and he pushed me forward so my front was to the table, then yanked up my skirt the rest of the way.
He made a rough sound, his hand gliding over the fabric covering my ass. “I like these ones. Blue looks pretty against your skin.” Then he tore my underwear down my legs, all the way, and unhooked them from my feet. I turned to watch him and he shoved them in his pocket.
“You’re gonna stay bare all day, Bambi, and when I come to you after work, you’ll be ready for my cock again. You’ll be ready for me, won’t you?”
I shivered. “Yes.”
His hand came down hard on my butt, spanking me twice in quick succession.
I cried out. More in surprise than pain. Oh God, it stung, but in a really good way. Heat spread over my skin, then arrowed right between my legs.
“That’s for teasing me with these sexy fuck-me skirts for so long.”
He dragged me off the table, spinning me suddenly, and positioned me on the surface before dropping to his knees. A startled laugh escaped but died quickly when he threw my legs over his shoulders and buried his face against my slick flesh.
Propping myself up on my hands, I watched as he used his mouth on me. His big hands wrapped around my thighs, holding me tight, a look of sheer pleasure on his beautiful face.
He wasn’t messing around, he licked up from my opening and zeroed in on my clit. He sucked and flicked it with his tongue until I was writhing and close to coming in minutes.
But just before I could go over the edge, he stood.
My hand dropped down between us, going for my clit all on its own in my desperate need to finish. Jesse growled and grabbed my hand.
“When you come, it’s gonna be around my cock. Nothing beats your tight-as-fuck pussy clamping down on me.”
“Goddammit, Jesse,” I moaned.
He chuckled darkly and pulled a condom free, rolling it on. Then he grabbed both my hands, tugging them up over my head, and pushed me down on the table. “Keep your hands up,” he rasped.
The wicked glint in his eyes, dirty and hungry, made my inner muscles quiver. He shoved up my top, then yanked down my bra cups so I was exposed. He hissed and dipped his head, sucking one of my nipples into his mouth, squeezing the other breast roughly before he looked up at me.
“I’d really like to worship these gorgeous tits, but we don’t have much time, so I’m gonna watch them bounce while I fuck you instead.”
His voice was almost harsh and sent tingles over my skin. I liked the thought of people just outside, walking past the library, not knowing that inside I was about to be fucked on a table. That there could be people waiting outside for me to get back from lunch so they could check out books.
You’re so wet, Lila. Only whores get wet like that. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Jarod’s voice, his hateful words, echoed through my head. My warped emotionally abused subconscious was trying to shame me with the memory, trying to ruin my happiness. Trying to make me feel guilty for loving the pleasure Jesse was giving me.
But then I looked up at him and my heart clenched.
I quickly shoved all the bad away, locking it down. I had no reason to feel guilty. I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and the desire I felt was nothing to be ashamed of.
No, I felt amazing. Beautiful. Happy. So desperate for the man kissing his way up my body, I could scarcely breathe. “I need you inside me, Jesse.”
I needed it badly. I needed him to wash all the hurt away like only Jesse could.
He loomed over me, grabbed both my wrists with one hand, pinning them over my head, then he took his cock with the other. “Legs around me.”
I did what he said.
He slammed inside me. No easing me in, no going slow. I cried out as my body tried to adjust to his size.
“Jesus Christ, so fucking tight,” he growled.
Then he started thrusting into me, hard and deep, his intense gaze moving between my breasts and down to where we were joined. Watching him watch me turned me on even more.
His thrusts grew harder, his expression lined with tension. He was close.
He released one of my hands. “Play with yourself, Lila, like you were going to before.”
I did as he said, my fingers going to my clit, teasing it as he slammed into me. Jesse’s gaze dropped, watching.
His cock grew bigger, harder, as he thrust into me. He cursed viciously, his gaze snapping up to me. “Let me feel it, baby.”
My legs tightened around his waist and I arched. As I came hard, my inner muscles spasmed, locking down on his heavy, hard length repeatedly.
Jesse dropped down, covering me, pinning me with his weight, and fucked me with short, deep, brutal thrusts, his mouth at my neck, my
ear.
“Addicted to that pussy,” he gritted out. “So fucking tight and wet. That good-girl pussy loves to be fucked hard, doesn’t it? You love it, don’t you, Lila, you love the way I fuck you?”
His dirty words sent me spinning higher, coming harder. “Yes. Yes, I love it.” I dragged my nails down his back, moaning and writhing beneath him helplessly while he came with me, growling and gasping and saying my name.
We lay there catching our breath. And Jesse trailed kisses over my neck and jaw, making his way to my lips.
“Christ, I’m gonna miss you while I’m away,” he said.
My belly twisted unhappily at the thought of being without him. But he had to do something for the club—whatever Stones had called him away for the morning after the party—and he couldn’t put it off any longer. I traced his jaw, his perfect lips. “So it’s just a few days?”
We’d spent nearly every night this last week together, and I didn’t relish the idea of being parted from him. Pathetic, but there you go. I’d fallen hard, and there was no point denying it.
He nodded and stood, sliding from me. I straightened my clothes as he wrapped the condom in a piece of paper before tossing it in the trash can.
He tucked himself away and his gaze came to me, sliding to my mouth before traveling back up to my eyes. “I’m gonna visit Mom in the morning, then head out. But yeah, it should just be a few days.”
He took my hand and kissed it, then led me to the front. There were a couple of small brown paper bags on the counter.
“Lunch,” he said. “Got Addie to pick out your favorites.” He grinned wickedly. “Since I planned on using up the time doing something other than eating.”
“So organized.”
“I wanted to do you right, but my girl still needs lunch.”
I laughed. Jesse made me laugh a lot, it was one of the many things I loved about him. “You take such good care of me,” I said, grinning at him.
“That’s all I want to do, Bambi.” He tugged me back into him, giving my boob a squeeze and kissing the top of my head. “Wish I could hang around, but I need do a few things, then get back to work.”
Bad For You (Rocktown Ink Book 4) Page 13