“Nothing’s wrong but…” He trails off, but it’s obvious he has so much more to say.
“But?”
“Shelly’s been giving her grief—”
“You’ve met Rae, right? I’m pretty sure she can handle herself around the likes of Shelly.”
“Yeah, yeah of course she can. But… I think she’s missing you.”
“I highly fucking doubt that, man. She fucking hates me.”
“Maybe so, but your parents are gone again and—”
She’s alone. I have no idea if those are the words that fall from his lips, because his voice fades away as I picture her in the house with no one.
“And anyway,” Shane says, my senses coming back to me once again, “we fucking need you on the field Friday night.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” I mutter, thoughts of her alone still at the forefront of my mind.
“I gotta go, Jake’s busting our fucking balls.”
“Sure, yeah.” I pull my cell from my ear before thinking better of it. “Shane?”
“Yeah?”
“Um… thanks for looking out for her, man.”
“No worries. Just do the right thing, yeah?”
I hang up before my mouth runs away with me. I’ve not exactly been focusing on doing the right thing when it comes to Rae since she arrived. I’ve just got to home and find out if it’s not too little too late.
I shower, pull on some fresh clothes, and pack the little I brought with me. It’s time to face the music.
It’s late Monday evening when I eventually drive through Rosewood. I’m fucking exhausted and wished I’d flown the long ass journey to Connecticut when I first fled town. I’d put my seat back and crashed on the side of the road last night, not wanting to waste time getting a motel, but I’m fucking paying the price for it now.
It’s dark when I pull up out front of Jake’s aunt and uncle’s house. I debated where to go. Home would have been the most sensible place, but call me a pussy, I’m still not ready to look her in the eyes.
Jake’s trailer lights are on, and I breathe a sigh of relief even though I know I’m about to get ripped a new one for skipping out on the team.
I knock but don’t bother waiting for a response, seeing as it’s pouring down with rain. I pull the door open and step up inside.
“Well, he is alive,” Jake says after doing a double take. Amalie lifts her head from his shoulder and also looks my way, but unlike Jake’s angry eyes, hers are full of sympathy and concern.
“Yeah, look, I’m—”
My apology is cut off when he pushes from the couch and steps toward me. I wince when he lifts his arm, because from the anger rolling off him, I expect him to plant his fist in my face. It’s the least of what I deserve for everything, but the pain never comes. Instead, he pulls me in for a quick man-hug and pounds me on the back a few times.
When he pulls back, he barks out a laugh when he looks at my face. “No need to look so freaked out, bro.”
“I… uh… thought you were going to rip me a new one.”
“Oh don’t worry. It’s coming. Beer?”
“Yes.” One thing about spending time at my grandparents’ is that it’s an alcohol-free house. Not exactly what I needed after these few weeks, but in hindsight, it was probably for the best.
He walks over to the fridge and pulls two bottles out. I leave him to it and walk over to where Amalie’s still sitting on the couch, looking at me.
“Good to have you back,” she says softly.
Every inch of my body fills with guilt for leaving, but I couldn’t see any other way after what I discovered.
“I’m not sure everyone will think that,” I mutter. I know she’s been spending time with Rae. Mason let it slip in one of his messages that the girls had been over at my house doing homework with her.
“You need to talk to her, Ethan.” Her slim hand lands on my knee and squeezes encouragingly. “I’m not getting in the middle, but I think you might be blowing things a little out of proportion.”
“Am I?” I snap. “I doubt she’s told you the whole story.”
“You’re probably right, but she’s told me enough that I know that you need to pull your head out of your ass and talk to her.”
“And here I was thinking that it would be Jake giving me a tongue lashing.”
She quirks a brow at me, but she doesn’t say anything else.
32
Raelynn
The second I step into school on Tuesday morning, it’s obvious something has happened. The buzz around the students is electric, but as I make my way to my locker and then to my first class of the day, I can’t get a handle on what it is from the tiny snippets of conversation I hear.
All that changes once the students around me start filling the room.
“Apparently he just turned back up to practice this morning like everything was normal.”
“I heard Coach really laid into him.”
“Yeah. He threatened to bench him for Friday night’s game.”
“Lisa said that Jake had him pinned against the wall.”
The gossip goes on and on, but after the first few I’m unable to listen as my pulse starts to race and nothing but white noise fills my ears.
He’s back.
I glance around, noting that none of the team have yet arrived in class but knowing it doesn’t really matter. He’s not in any of my classes today.
Blowing out a slow breath and hoping my sudden bout of anxiety over seeing him again disappears with it, I sink back in my chair and try to ignore the gossip surrounding me. I have no doubt most of it is bullshit.
I look for him all day, but the closest I get is spotting Jake at the end of the hallway, presumably heading for the locker room for afternoon practice.
“Have you seen him?” Amalie asks, coming to stand next to where I’m gazing down the hallway.
“Um… no. You?”
“Yeah.”
“And? How is he?”
“Honestly, I’ve no idea. But it’s not really for me to discover. You need to talk to him.”
“I know. But I have a suspicion that he’s doing everything possible to avoid me.”
“He’s got a lot going on for the game.” It’s clear the second the words leave her lips that she believes them as much as I do.
“Whatever. I’m going to be late for work.”
“You want me to drop you off?”
“No, it’s okay. I’m sure it’s well out of your way.”
“Shut up. Come on. You can buy me a milkshake to say thank you.”
I grab the books I need before following Amalie out toward the parking lot. I don’t really have much of an argument as I’d much prefer a lift from her than getting on the bus. It’s well worth the milkshake she’s after.
I spend all night watching the door and waiting for the team to arrive, but they never do. I tell myself over and over that it’s just because they’re focused on the Friday night and not because Ethan’s demanded they boycott the place.
I expect his car to be sitting outside the house when Cody pulls up to drop me off, but his space is still vacant, like it has been for the for days.
“This is fucking bullshit,” I mutter as I storm to my bedroom and dump my bag. If I thought he was driving me crazy by running off after discovering my secrets, it’s nothing compared to knowing he’s close yet avoiding me. He really must hate me after discovering the truth.
Pulling my clothes angrily from my body, I storm through to my en suite and stand under the shower before turning it on. When I flick the switch, I’m blasted with ice cold water. It’s a welcome relief from thinking about that motherfucker all day.
I toss and turn all night as I wonder what the next day is going to hold. Is he going to turn up to the classes I know we have together, or is he more serious about not seeing me than even I think he is?
I’m a nervous fucking wreck as I walk into class the next day, knowing that he should also be
in it.
I’m the first in the room, so I find my seat and pull my books out, ready to get started.
Students soon begin to fill the room around me. The teacher arrives, and I just start to think that he’s not going to show when the door pushes open. Every set of eyes in the room turns to see who it is seeing as we’re all silent, ready for class to start. My breath catches as I get my first look at him in almost two weeks. He’s just as annoyingly handsome as the first time I laid eyes on him. He’s wearing a pair of dark jeans that are teasingly tight across his thighs—and, I’m sure, his ass, should I get a look at his back—and a skin-tight white V-neck t-shirt that shows every ripple of muscle beneath as he closes the door behind him and nods in apology to the teacher.
As he takes a step to the back of the room, I swear to god that I stop breathing. I stare at him, willing him to look at me so I can get a read on him. Is he ashamed of what happened between us, what he thinks he did? Is he just repulsed by me now he knows my past? Does he care more than he’s ever let on? That last one is a long shot, but in the long hours I’ve had awake at night trying to figure this shit out, I’ve thought of every angle possible.
He steps up to my desk, his scent filling my nose and my mouth watering, but still, he refuses to look at me and instead keeps his eyes on the floor.
Fucking pussy.
I realize there and then that if I want to have this out with him, I’m going to have to be the one to confront him.
I don’t get a chance for the rest of the day. He’s out of class before I even pick up my book to leave, and he remains irritatingly invisible. Knowing it’s too late to do anything seeing as I should be heading for work, I vow to find a way to intercept him tomorrow and head off to find the bus.
“Is there any chance I could get tomorrow night off?” I ask Bill, poking my head into his office.
“Is everything okay?” he asks, concern filling his eyes.
“Y-yes, of course. I’m just falling a little behind this week and—” Thankfully, my rambling is cut off when he agrees, although I can see in his eyes that he doesn’t totally believe me. I get out of there before he feels the need to play the part of my dad and sit me down for a talk.
There’s still no appearance from the team or the bitch squad. It’s a relief as much as it is frustrating that Ethan has so much control over his idiot friends that he can stop them coming here.
“You fallen out with your friends or something?” Cody asks when we pull up to the Savage house later that evening.
Both Amalie and Camila have been busy this week so haven’t been here. Amalie’s buying a house for her and Jake. I think she’s utterly insane, but I guess when you have that kind of money, what else is there to do? And Mason’s had doctor appointments. I can’t really complain at either of them, and I hate to admit it, but after their almost constant company last week, I miss them.
“They’re busy.”
“So… I’ll see you Friday then?”
“Yeah. Thanks for the lift.”
“Always.” He turns and gives me a sad smile before I climb from the car. I’ve been trying to put a brave face on, but I fear that Cody can see right through it. I’m grateful however that he doesn’t seem to want to dig into what’s put it there.
The rest of the evening drags. I end up getting talked into a late night dinner with Mom and Eric and am forced to listen to their plans for leaving again tomorrow. They’ve only been back a matter of hours and they’re already talking about leaving again. I bite my tongue to stop myself asking if he’s ever been here to support Ethan, but it’s not my place to get involved.
“Have you seen him?” Eric’s voice drags me from my thoughts, making me wonder if I said Ethan’s name aloud.
“I’ve seen him at school,” I mutter.
“I keep calling, but it just goes to voicemail. I swear he’s not been here yet this week.”
I shrug, not wanting to confirm his suspicions.
“Just keep trying. I’m sure he’s just busy,” Mom adds, like this kind of behavior is normal. Although we’ve only been here a few weeks, so maybe it is. Maybe Ethan often just fucks off without a word to his parents.
Pushing my dinner around my plate, I try not to focus on the look on his face in class earlier. He was hurting, that much was clear, but why? And why did he even refuse to look at me? Is he that ashamed to even glance my way after learning the truth? That thought causes my heart to constrict. He might be an asshole, but I always thought there was someone redeemable beneath the hardened exterior.
“Can I be excused?” I ask once my dinner is cold and the two of them are reliving a memory from their last trip.
“Of course.” I get to the door with my plate when Mom’s voice calls me back. “Rae, it’s Thanksgiving next week. We’ll be back so we can all celebrate as a family.” A lump forms in my throat. Are we a family? I almost laugh at the hopeful look on her face.
“Sure thing, Mom. Looking forward to it.” They must be the least sincere words I’ve ever said, but she accepts them and thankfully allows me the escape I’m desperate for.
33
Ethan
I thought avoiding her would be easy. She’s just one person in a huge school full of students, but I swear to fucking god that every time I look up, there she is. Without her even realizing it, she’s driving me fucking crazy. Those fucking short shirts she wears that show off the smooth lines of her stomach. Her ridiculous excuse for skirts that make my mouth water to rediscover what’s hiding beneath. She’s all I can fucking think about, and it’s the reason I continue to stay away. I don’t need her distracting me more than she already is. Coach, Jake, and the rest of the team deserve my undivided attention for tomorrow night. I can’t allow her to take up any more of my headspace, and I know talking to her will do just that. There’s so much that’s been left unsaid between us, and after everything, she deserves my time to hear her out properly, and I know I can’t give her that right now.
Thursday afternoon’s practice session is grueling beyond belief. We thought Coach was upping the ante earlier in the week, but nothing could have prepared us for this afternoon. My legs feel like jelly as I pull my bag up onto my shoulder and head for the locker room door.
What I really want to do is go home, relax in the jacuzzi and sleep in my own bed, but I fear that if I do that, sleep won’t come for one reason or another. I want to say it’ll be because I’ll be inside her all night like I keep dreaming of, but realistically, it’ll be because I’m in bed on the other side of the hallway, tossing and turning for being a pussy and hiding from her once again.
I need to man the fuck up and get it over with, I know this. But still, I keep telling myself to get the game out of the way and then I can do what needs to be done.
Sadly, those intentions come crashing down around my feet when I pull the locker room door open and find her leaning back against the opposite wall with one foot propped up and a can of soda halfway to her lips.
Our eyes lock. My heart damn near falls out of my chest as something crackles between us.
Someone crashes into my back where I’ve stopped so suddenly. “Savage, what the fuck, man?” But still, I stand there staring at her.
I’m jostled to the side as a few of the guys leave and head toward the exit.
“What do you want?” I grunt, dragging my eyes from her dark ones in favor of the floor.
“I think it’s time we talked, don’t you?”
Voices get louder behind me as she pushes from the wall and closes the space between us. As usual, her hair is pulled back from her face, her makeup is heavy, her eyes and lips dark in a stark contrast to her pale skin. She’s anything but my type, but as she stands there demanding more from me than I’m willing to give right now, I’m hard-pressed to say I’ve ever wanted anyone more. Her ripped black shirt has whatever scrawled across the front of it in white and her black skirt is almost pointless. When I make it down her pantyhose covered legs and to her biker
books, I take my time in heading back up once again. Only now, she’s got her hand on her jutted-out hip and one brow raised in question.
“No.”
“N-no?” she questions, her head pulling back in surprise.
“No. We’re not doing this here.”
“Why?” she asks, her chin lifting in defiance in a way I love. I’m not used to girls standing up to me—they’re usually heading down to their knees instead. It’s a refreshing change to the norm. As she opens her mouth, the voices behind me get louder still. “You ashamed of me now? Now you know the truth?”
The guys come barreling through the doorway and hesitate when they see us together in the empty hallway.
“Fucking hell, Savage. You slumming it tonight?”
The words and their assumptions about Rae piss me off—only, not enough to show her that. They give me the perfect distraction and moment to think to get me out of this situation.
Ignoring them, I turn my stare back on her. “Yeah, actually. I am.” I put as much hatred into my voice as I can. “We’re done here, trash.” I narrow my eyes at her as she gasps in shock, a couple of the guys slapping my shoulder as I get to them. Thank fuck it’s not Jake or Mason, because they’d call me out on this bullshit in a second.
With her standing there looking like I’ve just told her I’ve killed her puppy, I make my retreat. We find the rest of the guys still in the parking lot, and when Zayn suggests heading to his place to watch some old games, I eagerly agree. Anything to attempt to forget the look I just put on her face.
I end up sleeping on Zayn’s couch. Thankfully, the girls didn’t turn up. Fighting them off was the last thing I needed, especially seeing as there was no alcohol. I offered to get some in, but all I got in return was some seriously pissed-off faces. Their only concern is the game. It should be mine too, but the second I left Rae standing there, I knew I’d made a mistake. I was avoiding talking about it, hoping that it would help clear my head, but in doing so, it’s only made it worse. If I’d just taken her up on her offer, or even gone home last night, then all this could be sorted.
SAVAGE: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rosewood High Book 3) Page 25