Play Me (Jaded Ivory Book 5)

by Rebecca Brooke

  I glanced up at Jackson and almost got lost in the comfort and reassurance I saw there. My feet were moving toward the door before my brain had a chance to catch up.

  19

  Megan

  Jackson placed a hand on my back and led me forward. “Megan was just admiring the flowers in the garden.”

  Mari laughed. “I’m surprised they’re still alive. If I had to take care of them, they’d surely be dead by now. Cole’s the green thumb.”

  We passed by and Jackson ruffled her hair. “Good thing he’s only gone a weekend at a time.”

  “Ain’t that the truth.” Mari smiled and turned to me. “Megan, it’s nice to see you again.”

  “You too. Thanks for having me.” I noticed her eyes wander to where Jackson still had his hand on my back. Her gaze moved back to mine, a knowing look in her eye. But she didn’t know what she was seeing. His hand had been a sense of comfort in the midst of my feelings of inferiority, not the caress of a man who was in love with a woman and just wanted her to be close.

  “Any friend of Jackson’s is always welcome here.” We stood there for a moment, no one saying a word. Thankfully, Mari broke the silence. I had a feeling Jackson didn’t notice the tension surrounding us. “Well, there’s a ton of food in the kitchen. At least there was until I came out here and left Monty in there.”

  “Dammit, he’ll eat everything.” Jackson laughed.

  Mari waved a dismissive hand. “Allana only went downstairs to grab a drink. He can’t do that much damage that quickly.”

  Jackson quirked a brow. “Depends on how hungry he is.”

  I laughed. “Jackson’s right. I’ve seen him take down enough Chinese food to feed an army in less than ten minutes.”

  Mari laughed. “Allana promised me he had lunch and a few snacks before they came.”

  Jackson shook his head, chuckling with her. “God, it sounds like we’re dealing with a toddler.”

  “Sometimes we are,” another female voice said from behind Mari.

  She stepped up next to Mari and I knew there was only one of two women this could be—Jenna or Allana. Like Mari, her eyes darted back and forth between me and Jackson, moving down to his hand on my back before coming up again to meet mine. This time, I took a step away. I didn’t want both of them to get the wrong impression.

  Jackson’s brows drew together, but after a second he gestured toward the woman who’d just joined us in the hall. “Megan, this is Heath’s wife, Jenna.”

  She smiled just as a little girl walked up and wrapped her arms around her legs. “Mama.”

  Jenna bent down and picked up the little girl, resting her on her hip. “Hi, Megan, it’s nice to finally meet you. And this here is Mia.” She looked down at her. “Can you say hi?”

  Her face pulled into a smile exactly like her mother’s. “Hi,” she said then squirmed, trying to get out of her mother’s arms. Jenna set her down and we watched as she waddled back down the hall.

  Mari gestured toward the next room. “Let’s get there before Monty eats everything.”

  Jenna lifted her hands and shrugged. “See, toddler. You’d be able to leave any other adult alone with food and not have to worry.”

  I laughed. “I have to agree. Monty’s always been that way.”

  Jenna nodded, a smirk on her face. “See, and she’s known Monty longer than we have.”

  We reached the end of the hall, which opened up into a great room. At one end, a large flat screen TV hung on the wall, surrounded by couches for everyone to sit on. Heath sat on one of them with Mia in his lap. When he noticed us step into the room, the corner of his mouth pulled up. “Megan, glad you could make me.”

  “Happy to be here. Thanks for having me.”

  A door to my right swung open, but I didn’t give it much thought until I was wrapped up from behind in a bear hug, my feet coming off the floor.

  “Monty, put Megan down.” Jackson pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

  “Just giving her a hug,” he said.

  “Can’t breathe,” I forced out, his grip stopping enough air from getting into my lungs.

  A loud whack sounded in my ear. “Let the poor woman go.”

  My feet touched the floor again and I turned to thank the woman who’d gotten Monty to finally put me down. Her long chestnut hair left her unmissable, even if there was only one person left I hadn’t been introduced to. She looped her arm through his.

  “Hi, I’m Allana, Monty’s wife.” A warm grin spilt her lips.

  I almost said I knew that from the papers when they’d first gotten married, but more attention on myself was the last thing I needed tonight.

  “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you and your ability to keep Monty in check.”

  She glanced over her shoulder at him. “I do the best I can, but it’s a full-time job. I usually leave it to Jackson when I’m at work.”

  Jackson scoffed. “Not like he listens to me. I have nothing to hold over him.”

  “You got that right,” Monty said. “She can keep me up all night with the way she—”

  Allana slammed her hand over Monty’s mouth. “Let’s just say, we’ve got a lot of work to do.”

  My cheeks heated when my stomach decided that this was the most opportune time to let everyone know how hungry I was without eating all day. Everyone’s eyes darted in my direction and for a moment I hoped he ground would open up and swallow me whole.

  Jackson placed his hand under my elbow. “Let’s get you something to eat.”

  “Plates are on the counter,” Mari called out to us and Jackson led me through the kitchen door.

  All the smells hit me at once, making my mouth water. There was food on every surface of the kitchen, even a table in the corner where Sawyer sat with another man.

  “Jackson, when did you get here?” the other man asked.

  “A few minutes ago. Monty was trying to cut off her circulation first, now we came to get something to eat before Megan’s stomach decides to start eating itself.” Jackson gestured toward the man in the seat. “I know you’ve already met Sawyer, but I want you to meet Reagan, his partner and our lawyer when we’re on tour.”

  “Ah, so you’re the one who is supposed to keep Monty out of jail when you’re touring?”

  “Pretty much.” He shrugged with a chuckle.

  I giggled. “Yeah, can’t say I blame them. I’m sure Monty hasn’t changed much since college.”

  Jackson shook his head. “Nope. Not an ounce. Now he just has more money and more people watching him do crazy shit.”

  Jackson picked up a plate from the counter, handing it to me before grabbing one for himself. There were almost too many choices, and I had a hard time choosing what to eat. I moved back and forth between the dishes until Jackson took the plate from my hands, a smirk on his lips. He moved from dish to dish, picking everything that was at the top of my list and adding a little of each. When he handed the plate back and gestured to the table, my jaw practically hit the floor. Jackson had chosen everything I would’ve picked for myself.

  By the time I got my feet to move, he’d taken a seat next to Sawyer and had been drawn into some conversation about their latest song. I took the seat next to him, the food almost forgotten as I watched him. A man who claimed to have hated me for years, and on the surface maybe he did. Deep down, I think he might have cared more than he wanted to admit for all those years. It would explain why he fought so hard against me when I tried to explain the truth.

  He knew me as well as I knew him, something that would never change. A sound to my right had me glancing over, only to stop when I noticed Reagan watching me, a spark of recognition in his gaze. Like everyone else in the house, he saw the real me. The girl with her heart on her sleeve for a man who just wanted to be friends.

  Bile burned the back of my throat as my appetite vanished as quickly as it came. What am I doing to myself by being here? Maybe I really was a glutton fo
r punishment. It was the only explanation for why I let Jackson bring me to a place where his friends would know exactly how much I wanted Jackson. I’d always love Jackson. Even sitting in a tent in the middle of a desert, sweat dripping down my back as I checked the vitals of each patient who came through the door, he never strayed far from my mind.

  And there I was sitting next to him, waiting for him to look up and see me. See the woman he used to love. The one who still loved him with her whole heart. Reagan gave me a half smile, then inclined his head toward my forgotten plate. He lifted his hand from the table and discreetly pushed the plate in my direction.

  I picked up the discarded fork and his smile grew. Something in his eyes made me feel like everything would be okay. Letting myself drown in worries by starving wouldn’t help anyone. I’d either have to learn to accept Jackson as he was now or keep hoping that eventually he’d find his way back to me.

  The moment I dug into my food, Reagan nodded in approval. Thankfully, not once during the silent exchange did Jackson notice anything. I don’t think I would have been able to contain my flush of embarrassment had he noticed.

  When we finished eating, Jackson took everyone’s plates and loaded them into the dishwasher. He said it was the least he could do since he absolutely couldn’t cook. Eventually, we wandered to the den where the TV had already been set up on the pregame show.

  “Think they’ll have an even better season this year?” Heath asked.

  Jackson relaxed back into the cushions and nodded. And that was the last thing I heard as the game started on the screen. Only my focus wasn’t on the game, it was solely on the man beside me. The scent of his cologne every time he moved. The sound of his laugh when Monty said something ridiculous. I pretended to watch the game, but by halftime I couldn’t have told you a single play from the game.

  Every once in a while, I would shift my gaze, trying to pretend my focus was on anything else but the man beside me. Each time I found someone else’s eyes zeroed in on me. I knew from the moment Jackson called that I wouldn’t be able to hide my feelings for him from his friends. The question was—how long would it take for one of them to reveal the truth to him?

  20

  Jackson

  The sound of someone knocking on the front door echoed through the condo. The doorman had called up earlier to let me know Megan had arrived and was on her way up.

  “Come in,” I called, pulling plates down from the top cabinet.

  The front door opened, revealing Megan with her hands full. She didn’t give me a choice when she offered to pick up dinner on the way over. But it seemed she’d also stopped at the liquor store.

  I walked over and held my hands out. “Need help?”

  She shook her head and darted around me to the kitchen where she hoisted the bags up onto the counter. She turned to face me. “I had everything balanced. I didn’t want to drop something when you took one of the bags from my hand.”

  Without another word, we both began unloading the bags in perfect sync. It had been almost three weeks since we’d watched Cole’s game at Mari’s place where something shifted in our relationship. Gone was the Megan who avoided me at every turn and in her place a woman who spent as much time with me as possible. We’d gone from seeing each other once, maybe twice a week to seeing each other almost every night.

  The change had been welcome. Sitting around my condo by myself had started to grow old. Not that I couldn’t call up one of my friends, but it was nice to have someone outside the band to talk to. Someone I could vent to when things with a new song weren’t working out, or when we argued about how many shows a week we’d do on tour.

  The only snafu in the last three weeks was the night I took Megan to my favorite Indian restaurant. It barely took the paparazzi a little over an hour to post photos of us in the restaurant with headlines about new girlfriends and dating.

  Megan hadn’t taken it well. After that, we tried to stay in as much as possible to avoid the gossip blogs. I’d explained to one reporter about how we were just friends, but it hadn’t made a difference. Even when I posted pictures of us on social media with the BFF, people still assumed we were dating. So tonight, we were staying in. Megan had to be on base this weekend, and I didn’t feel like dealing with cameras following us everywhere.

  “How was work?”

  Megan sighed. “Long. I know it’s bad to want to be busy in the ER. I get it, someone got hurt if you’re busy. But when only a few people come through the door, it can make for a long twelve hours.”

  I handed her one of the plates. “Nothing worse than being bored at work.”

  She laughed. “Like you’re ever bored at work.”

  We loaded them up before moving to the living room to eat. I took the left seat on the couch while Megan took the center, curling her feet under her.

  “You’d be surprised at how boring some of it can be.” I grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels until I found a movie we both liked.

  “What could be boring about playing music all day?”

  I took a sip of my beer and set it on the table next to me. “Playing music isn’t boring. It’s when they make me sit through a million photo shoots and meetings about PR. I’d rather be anywhere than in that room.”

  She shook her head, laughing, and brought her fork to her lips. “See, now I would have never imagined a rock star sitting through all that.”

  I couldn’t help but chuckle with her. “Me neither. It’s one of those things no one tells you until after you’ve signed the contract.”

  “That’s ’cause they don’t want you to run when you find out there’s more.”

  “Probably. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” I set my empty plate on the table next to the couch. A few minutes later, Megan followed suit and set hers on the coffee table. She picked up her beer bottle and settled back into the cushions, shifting closer to me. The movie grabbed both of our attention, or at least I thought it had.

  “Do you miss it?”

  I glanced down at Megan where her head rested on my shoulder. “Do I miss what?”

  “Singing. Do you miss singing?”

  A question I’d asked myself a million times since the first night Mari sang for when I lost my voice. “Sometimes I do, but I know we never would have made it to where we are if I was still the lead singer.”

  She sat up and turned to face me. “What do you mean you wouldn’t have made it?”

  I set my bottle down on the table next to me. “We’d been playing small clubs and bars for over a year before the first time Mari sang with us.”

  “What made her join the band after all that time?”

  I thought back to the way Mari’s hand shook as she stepped on the stage with us that first night at the Mosley’s. Who knew a simple favor would push us on the path we were on?

  “Ironically, it was because of me. We’d finally convinced a manager of one of the bigger clubs to give us a chance. It had taken lots of phone calls and maybe a little begging before he agreed. And don’t you know I lose my voice the night before.”

  Her hand covered her mouth. “Oh my God. No…”

  “Yep. But we couldn’t lose out on that gig. We’d spent too many hours trying to get it. So, Sawyer begged Mari to help us out for one night. The plan was for me to take back over for the next show once I got my voice back.”

  “You changed your mind?”

  “You could say that. When we heard the way the crowd lost their minds over the way we sounded with Mari, we knew the decision had been made for us.”

  “But you miss it?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, there are days I miss it. It sucked knowing I could never get a reaction out of a crowd the way she could.”

  “You have. I’ve seen you sing the duet with Mari. Your fans go wild every time you’re up there.”

  I tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. “Now they do because they already know who we are and it’s something different. Before, when I ne
eded it, I couldn’t.”

  “Think you’ll start to sing more now that you have the fans?”

  “Actually, we talked about me doing a few solos and another duet with Mari on the next album. But we wouldn’t even talk about that until after this next tour.”

  She settled back down onto my shoulder, our Netflix binge still playing in the background. I picked up the remote and started the episode from the beginning. Before I hit play I wanted to ask her a question that had been on the tip of my tongue many times, but I’d never bothered to ask. I figured a part of me was afraid of the answer.

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  She giggled. “Considering I just practically made you play twenty questions with me, I think I could answer a few for you.”

  “So gracious of you.”

  “I know.” Her giggles turned into full-blown laughter. “Hit me with it. What questions do you have?”

  “I guess I’m just curious what you were going to do when your time in the army is up?”

  She sat up again, but this time she placed her hand over mine. “Is this because I have to leave for the weekend?”

  She hit the nail on the head. The first time she left, it didn’t affect me as much. We only saw each other every few days and I’d had a movie premiere where we had a few songs in the soundtrack. It made it easy to not miss her while she was gone. Since then we began hanging out almost every night. And with nothing planned for the weekend, I knew I’d miss her company.

  “No. Just curious.”

  “Sure. Just admit you’re going to miss me while I’m away for the weekend.” A light sparkled in her eyes, but just beneath the surface I could see another emotion she tried to hide. An emotion I couldn’t read from her.

  “You’re right. I will miss you, especially since I’ll have to wait the whole weekend to start the next season. Maybe I’ll watch it without you.”