Winters Solace
Page 8
When I finally hang up the phone, I look outside my office at the beautiful view of Silicon Valley. For ten years this had been my life. The dream that I had worked so hard for. I shut the blinds, falling back down at my desk in a puddled heap as my phone rings, yet again.
I stay late that evening to prepare for a big presentation the following day. As I’m packing up my things to leave, there is a knock at the door. I’m surprised when Tim walks inside, toting his briefcase and jacket slung over his arm.
“Do you have a minute?” He asks me, and I stare at him a while unable to speak. Finally, I motion for him to enter and he closes my office door behind him.
“What do you need, Tim?” I ask, feeling as if I had one more weight to carry for the day I might implode.
“There’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for a while,” he says as he sits in the chair in front of me. I take a deep breath, prepared for the worst. Instead, I am pleasantly surprised.
“Katlynn,” he looks at me. “I’m sorry for hurting you.” He looks genuine and sincere when he says it. I have a hard time taking it in at first. “It’s taken me a while to realize the damage I’d done, and I just wanted to tell you that.”
I nod, unable to speak as he gets up from the chair and starts to leave.
“Tim,” I catch him just as he starts to open the door. He turns back to me. “Are you happy?”
As much as I expected to feel sad when he nodded, I didn’t. Instead all I can think about is Iris. How much different she had made me feel than Tim ever had. How much more she’d understood about me. It gave me peace.
I smile at him softly. “I’m glad,” I reply as I finish packing up my things.
Later that night, Sarah calls me out of the blue to chat. It had been a week or so since I’d talked to her last, so it was a nice surprise. I can hear Tommy in the background playing with Michael. I’d just finished pouring myself a glass of wine and I make my way back over to the couch to sit down.
“How’s the sunshine?” She asks me when I pick up.
“Oh, the same as every other day,” I reply, laughing a little. “How’s the snow?”
“Ugh,” my sister groans. “Don’t get me started.”
There is a pause for a moment before she speaks again. It was the kind of thoughtful pause before a loaded question. “How have you been doing?”
I let out a long sigh. “I don’t know,” I admit, honestly. “I’m just confused anymore.” I take a sip of wine and fall back into the couch
“Well, Iris has been terrible,” Sarah mentions. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so depressed.”
“Really?” I ask curiously. It feels almost bittersweet to hear it. “Has she said anything about me?”
“Every day,” Sarah replies.
“I miss her too,” I sigh. “I miss Wellesley. I miss all of it.” It occurs to me as I sit there that my home felt about as foreign as it ever had to me.
“Well you know, it’s here for you whenever you want to come back.”
“I know,” I reply, smiling. “Have a good night, sister.”
The next day I arrive painstakingly early for the presentation with the board. It was the first major report on how the project had been going so far. Tim helps me set up the room. I run through my notes a few more times until I feel prepared.
Suddenly, when I look up to Tim, I feel a rush of anxiety unlike anything I’d ever felt. Before I can stop myself, we meet eyes and the words come flying out of my mouth.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I tell him and saying it feels like a hundred pound weight was just lifted off of me.
“What?” Tim asks, “What do you mean you can’t do this anymore?”
“This,” I wave my hands around the room. “This corporate bullshit. I’m so sick and tired of all of it. I’m not cut out to be a manager. I don’t want to push papers all day long or tell people what to do with themselves.”
Tim stares at me curiously as I pace the room. “Do you know what I’ve wanted to do ever since high school?”
The fact that he doesn’t makes it all the more clear why he and I never worked to begin with. “I wanted to program! That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do! And I’m ever going to get anywhere sitting in this damn office all day long.”
I find myself walking through the conference room out into the office and down the hall. Tim runs behind me, trying to catch up. When I finally make it outside, I can breathe again. Tim finds his way out behind me and he calls out to me.
“Katlynn, wait!” He says, and I turn to face him. “Where are you going?”
“You remember how you told me you were happy, yesterday?”
He shields his eyes from the sun, nodding.
“Well, I’m going to go be happy,” I reply.
By the time I get back to the house, I’ve made up my mind. My world feels like a blur around me as I pull out suitcases and stuff them with everything I can fit inside of them to last me until the movers can get the rest. I book the earliest flight I can to Boston. By the time I’d finished, it was after dinner. Just as I’m about to call Sarah to tell her I was coming, I notice a voicemail on my phone. It was from Iris, really early this morning. I was probably preparing for the meeting and had missed it.
When I put the phone to my ear and hear her voice, it makes my heart flutter in my chest.
“Hey there, it’s Iris. I know it’s still early there in San Francisco. I just really needed to tell you this and I’m afraid if I don’t, I’ll lose my nerve. So, here goes.”
I hear a faint knock from the other room. I move swiftly, listening to her message as I walk. “Katlynn, I don’t want to be without you anymore.” Before I can listen to the rest, there is a commotion outside. When I open the door, I almost drop my phone in surprise.
Iris stands outside, adorned in a flowery print dress reminiscent of her college years. She holds a poster board in her hands with that scribbled familiar handwriting of hers written on it. When I go to speak, she waves and points down for me to read.
There’s this cheesy movie. She smiles at me and turns the next one over. Where this guy holds up these signs.
And another. To profess his love to this girl.
And another. But you already know how I feel about you.
I can feel tears streaming down my face as she moves to another.
So all I really want to say is.
I want to be with you.
To watch that cheesy movie with you.
Until you look like this. A decrepit looking skeleton, reminiscent of the one from the movie, follows on the last board. I let out a laugh, wiping my eyes.
“See what you make me do?” Iris says with a smile as she comes to me.
“I love you,” I breathe, pressing my lips to hers. “I don’t want to spend another minute without you.”
Epilogue
Iris
IT WAS THREE MONTHS after Katlynn had moved back to Wellesley. After taking the job with Stephen in Boston, she’d moved in with her sister for a while to get herself on her feet. Having her next door and knowing she would be there every day was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. We spent nearly every spare moment we had with one another.
She’d agreed to meet me at Rocky’s after she got off of work that evening. For the first time in the history of our relationship, I manage to beat her. I order our usual, taking a seat at the infamous back corner booth where the beginnings of our friendship had blossomed.
When she walks in, it takes my breath away. She looks beautiful in the dusk light, her strawberry blonde hair falling around her face, wearing that amazing smile that got me every time I saw it. After she makes it over to me, Rocky brings out waters and offers her a friendly hello.
“I can’t believe you beat me,” she says, laughing. “That’s a first.”
We sit together and catch up on our day for a few minutes. It’s refreshing to see how much Katlynn loves her job now. I tell her about running into Ro
bert, and she asks about how my mother is doing.
Finally, the conversation goes where I’d expected it to.
“So, I’m going to start looking for a place this weekend,” Katlynn says to me after she takes a drink of water. “I’m thinking somewhere in the neighborhood or on the other side of the college, so I’m still close by.”
“It would be nice if you were close,” I agree. I reach down and dig through my purse for a moment, hunting for the newspaper I’d picked up earlier in the day. “I think I might have found a great place for you.”
“Oh really?” Katlynn asks curiously as I pass her the classifieds from the newspaper. “I circled it for you, it’s on the second page.”
Katlynn sifts through to the next page, looking up to meet my eyes curiously for a moment. There in the center, circled in red, is a small advertisement.
3 bedroom, two bath, quaint cottage home in Wellesley. Looking for one beautiful girl to share it with. Must tolerate an eccentric roommate who can’t cook and can be messy. If this is you, call Iris.
When she finishes, she lets out a little laugh and looks up at me for a moment. Then she reaches down into her purse, pulling out her cellphone. Seconds later, I feel mine vibrate in my pocket.
“Hello?” I put the phone to my ear, smiling at her.
“Hi there, is this Iris?” Katlynn asks. I can hardly take how cute she looks when she smiles back at me.
“Indeed it is,” I reply, giving her a wink. She laughs at me and nudges me softly with her foot under the table.
“I’d like to take you up on that roommate offer.”
Other Books by Magnolia Robbins
Lightkeeper
Royal Pains
Written Stars
Due North
Sweet Pickles
Traffic and Weather
Safe Words
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