Hawk

by Belle, Kimberly I.

  Jen’s mom used to burn essential oils growing up. She said it would promote focus and calm energies. It’s always calmed me.

  “It’s beautiful in here.”

  “Let me take you around quickly and then show you to your room. I’m going to call my friend to come take a look at you after.”

  “Okay.”

  Jen shows me her kitchen immediately to the right upon entering the home. It’s all white, with a marbled gray countertop. It’s huge. There’s a dining room right next to it. On the left there is a living room. She has dark grey couches, a small glass coffee table, a fireplace, and a giant flat screen right above it on the wall. Further back is a small half bathroom. She then takes me down the hall to the left and there’s her master bedroom suite, a guest suite slash office, and then finally the room I’m staying in.

  “I set it up just in case you ever came by. I hope you like it,” Jen says as she opens the door.

  Once she opens the door, I’m greeted with a beautiful clean white bed. There’s a grey headboard and a picture frame of some funky art. It’s super colorful. There’s little sitting area, a desk, and bookshelf in the corner. The closet is on both sides of the small walkway to the bathroom. The bathroom is huge, there’s a bathtub, shower, and Jack and Jill sinks. It’s all white and grey. My favorite colors.

  “Jen. This room is amazing. I love it so much.”

  She hugs me gently. “I’m so glad you like it and I’m so happy that you’re here. I wish it was under better circumstances but you’re here now and safe. That’s all that matters.”

  I go to the bed and sit down. It’s so comfortable. I take a breath and feel like I’m finally breathing. I can’t help it but tears just flow from my eyes.

  “Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe now.” Jen sits next to me. I can’t help but wince as she moves the bed. “I’m sorry. We need to get you looked at. Let me call my friend.”

  She steps out of the room and calls her friend.

  I get up to use the restroom. It hurts so bad to pee. As I wipe myself, I feel raw and there is blood on the tissue. Lord help me. I hope I don’t have an infection.

  “Hannah?” I hear Jen call out.

  “Yeah, in the bathroom. I’ll be out in a second.”

  “Do you need any help?”

  “No.” I flush the toilet and head towards her in the bedroom.

  “Hey. So I called my friend and he said to bring you down to his club. He also happens to be part owner of my work. Someone got attacked last night at the shop and they’ve been looking for me, so I need to get down there to speak with them ASAP.” She seems a little frazzled.

  “His club, Jen? What does that even mean? Like a country club? Chess club? And are you in trouble?” Now, I’m worried.

  “No, I’m not in trouble. It will be killing two birds with one stone. I need to get you to see the doctor, and I need to make sure everything is okay with work.” She’s sweaty and pale. Something’s wrong.

  “Okay.”

  “Come on, let’s head out.” She helps me back outside to her car.

  About 10 minutes later, we pull up to a huge gated lot.

  “Jen, where are we?” I feel a surge or anxiety in my stomach and chest seeing the gated fortress we are about to go into.

  “We’re at the Blazing Saints Motorcycle Clubhouse.”

  “Ugh, I thought you said we were going to the club, as in where you work?”

  “Nope. This is the clubhouse or headquarters for the Blazing Saints Motorcycle Club. They own the strip club and tattoo shop I work at.”

  “You didn’t tell me you were involved with an outlaw motorcycle club.” I’m freaking out inside. I’ve only heard bad things about motorcycle clubs.

  “Don’t worry, Han, these are good guys. No harm will come to us, I promise you. Plus, Doc is in there and he has a whole office in there with an x-ray machine and all of it. You need to be seen and you don’t want to go to the hospital. We’ll be okay. I promise you.” She squeezes my leg.

  I wince in pain. “Ouch.”

  “Shit. I’m sorry. Hannah, you’re hurt more than what I can see, aren’t you?”

  I nod my head as a tear falls from my right eye.

  Jen lowers her window and a huge biker approaches. “Hey Gunner. I’m here to see Hawk and Doc.”

  “Hey Jen, they’ve been expecting you. Who is that with you?”

  “It’s my cousin Hannah. She needs to see Doc real bad.”

  “Can you have her remove the hood for me? It’s protocol, Jen.”

  “Hannah, can you remove your hood please? They need to make sure you’re not a threat.”

  I really didn’t want to. I haven’t removed my hood since I got off the airplane, but I have no choice.

  I turn my face to him and lower my hood. His face immediately changes from this hard, stern expression to a look of sorrow. Jen starts crying. I didn’t want to take my hood off because half my hair had been chopped off on one side and I also have a large gash on my head. My ex decided he didn’t like a vase I bought and thought it would be funny to throw it at me. He also decided that me looking pretty was not okay and that I was attracting too much attention, so he chopped off my hair. I’ve been trying to grow it out but it’s barely anything right now. My hair is also covered in blood, and that’s probably what shocked them, but my bruised face and neck didn’t help.

  “Hannah,” is all Jen says in disbelief. I pull my hood back up. I don’t say anything. I’m embarrassed. I just look straight ahead as tears well up in my eyes.

  “Go ahead, Jen,” the guy says. She drives towards the front of the giant building. It looks like a warehouse. It’s all brick. She parks the car next to a beautiful black Harley.

  “That’s a beautiful bike,” I say.

  “It sure is. Do you still have yours?” Jen asks.

  “No. Ted sold it when I wouldn’t give him money for drugs.”

  “I’m sorry, Han. I know how much she meant to you,” she says, referring to my bike. The bike belonged to my dad. My uncle kept it for me until I got of age and I loved it so much.

  “Come on, let’s get inside.” She walks around to my door and helps me out.

  “Thank you.”

  “Anything for you. We’re family. Now let’s get you looked at, okay?” We walk into what looks like a giant recreation room.

  “What is this place?” I ask in a whisper.

  “It’s their clubhouse. They have parties here, meet here, hang out. It’s pretty fun and raunchy,” she says as she leads me towards a couch.

  We are approached by a huge man. “Jen, we’ve been looking for you. Where the hell have you been?” I keep my head down. I don’t want him to see me.

  “Sorry, Jax. I had a family emergency. I needed to pick my cousin up at the airport.”

  “Is this your cousin?” he asks.

  “Yeah, this is my cousin Hannah. I need to take her in to see Doc. Where is he?”

  I look up at him. He’s gorgeous and massive. His face was mean and stern, but as soon as I look at him, it softens. He must be at least 6’2 and made of solid muscle. His eyes are a beautiful baby blue. They remind me of the sky.

  “Let me help you.” He tries to help me but I don’t want him to touch me.

  “Please don’t,” I whisper out, my breathing hurts.

  He takes a step back.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend or scare you. I just want to make sure you get back to Doc safely. Is it okay if I have you lean on me? It will make it easier for your ribs. I know that kind of breathing when I see it. I’ve had a few broken ribs before too.” His eyes are really nice. From the way he looks, I’d think he would be mean, but he’s a giant softie. I nod my head in agreement. He takes my weight off my cousin and helps me. Jen walks by us but ahead a little. Everyone in the room is looking at us. I can’t help but notice what I think are a few topless girls on the couch rubbing on each other as some
guys watch. It must be my eye swelling shut and I’m delirious; that can’t be right.

  After what feels like a mile, we make it back to what looks like a doctor’s office exam room. I feel like I ran a mile. I’m out of breath. It’s like daggers stabbing me with each breath I take.

  “What is this place?” I ask to no one in particular.

  “This is Doc’s makeshift triage slash sick bay. He’s got everything stocked and ready to go if anyone gets injured or hurt. You’ll be in good hands.” He leads me over to one of the exam tables and helps me up.

  “Thank you,” I say to him.

  “You’re very welcome. I’m Jax by the way. I’m the Vice President of the Blazing Saints.”

  “I’m Hannah.”

  “I’m going to go get Doc,” he says, leaving the room quickly.

  “Don’t worry, Hannah, they are harmless. I saw the way you were looking at Jax.” She giggles a little.

  “He’s a big guy and gorgeous. I couldn’t help it.”

  “He’s a big softie most of the time. I feel bad for whoever gets on his bad side.”

  “I can believe that.”

  “Hannah, what happened to your hair?”

  “Ted. He didn’t want me to attract attention.”

  “And the cut on your head?”

  “He didn’t like a vase I bought and thought it would be funny to break it. Except he wanted to act out a movie and break it on my head.”

  “That looks like an old cut that isn’t healing.” She says as she studies me.

  “It happened a couple days ago. He didn’t let me see the doctor, so he put super glue in it.”

  “Hannah, why didn’t you go to the police?” She’s tearing up and angry.

  “Jen, he’s a cop.”

  “What?”

  “Ted is a cop. How could I call the police on a cop? They wouldn’t believe me.”

  “Jeez. I’m so sorry this all happened to you and I wasn’t around. You’re safe now, and no one is going to touch you ever again.”

  “Thank you, and you don’t need to be sorry.” We hug.

  There’s a knock at the door and we break apart.

  “Come in,” Jen yells out.

  In walk two huge men, they look related to Jax. One of them is a little bigger than the other; he exudes authority. The other one comes over to me immediately.

  “Hi, I’m Doc. You must be Jen’s cousin.”

  “Hi. I’m Hannah.” My throat hurts the more I talk.

  The other guy goes up to Jen and asks to speak with her privately. He keeps staring at me as he talks to her. He’s beautiful. He has a dark five o’clock shadow, short dark brown hair about two inches long on top and buzzed on the side, and he’s extremely muscular. He looks like a GQ model to be honest. His eyes are a piercing grey, my favorite color. He must be about 6’5 in height and solid muscle.

  Jen comes up to me. “Are you okay if I step out and speak with them for a bit?”

  I really don’t want her to leave me, but I also don’t want her to be here when I get examined. I look at the doctor, searching his eyes for safety.

  “I’ll be okay.”

  “I’ll be right back okay. Take care of her, Doc.”

  I turn my attention back to Doc. “Are you actually a doctor?” I manage to get out.

  “I sure am. Licensed by the medical board and everything.”

  “Okay.”

  “So Hannah, what can I do for you?” It’s a stupid question but I know he’s allowing me to set the pace.

  I remove my hoodie completely. It’s hurts like a bitch. I only have a white tank top on underneath, no bra. I also have leggings on that have seen better days.

  “Fuck,” The doctor mutters out. “What happened to you?”

  “My ex.” Is all I will say. “I’m pretty sure I broke a few ribs. I’ve broken five before in the past, and it feels like that again. It’s hard to breathe. It also hurts to talk.”

  “Let me take a look at your eye and the gash on your head first.” He grabs some gauze and starts cleaning me up.

  “It looks like your orbital bone is bruised. Your lip is going to need stitches as well as the gash in your head.” He moves on to do a thorough head to toe exam. “No other broken bones except for the ribs. You have multiple bruises and scratches on your torso. I’ll clean those up.” He steps away to the cabinets and pulls out a few syringes and a suture kit. “I’m going to numb up the area and then suture everything. You tell me if it hurts, alright?”

  “Okay,” I say. He starts with the gash on my scalp, then moves to my lip. He also draws blood.

  “I’m going to prescribe you some pain medication and also splint your ribs.” He grabs an ace bandage and wraps it around my ribs. “Hannah, I have to ask. Were you raped?”

  “Yes.” A tear falls out as I look ahead.

  “Is everything okay in your vaginal region?” he asks.

  “No. It hurts to pee and I’m bleeding. It’s not a period blood. I haven’t had a period in five months.”

  “Are you okay with me taking a look? I can have your cousin come back in while we do it.”

  “No. I’m okay with just you. I don’t want her to know.”

  “Okay. I need you to take your leggings off and lie back for me, okay?”

  “Okay.” He helps me remove my leggings and underwear. There’s blood in my underwear. I sit back on the table and put my legs up in stirrups.

  “Hannah, are you alright with me doing a pap smear to check for any STDS?”

  “Yes.” I can feel him insert forceps and then swab my cervix. It’s painful.

  “Alright. We’re all done.” He removes his gloves and washes his hands. I sit back up and start dressing. “I’m going to give you Plan B as well as antibiotics. They are prophylactic but I just want to be sure just in case. Also, the bleeding is from tears inside your vagina. It will burn when you urinate, but they will go away on their own. I recommend you ice your eye, lip, and vaginal area for the swelling and bruising. Now, do you have any questions for me?”

  “My throat hurts to talk.”

  “Let me take a look.” He has me open my mouth. He then examines my neck again. “You have finger imprints on your neck. Being choked can cause difficulty speaking and swallowing. Hannah, why didn’t you go to the police?” he asks with sad eyes.

  “He’s the police.”

  “Shit. I’m sorry this happened to you. Let’s get you some pain killers, anti-inflammatory, antibiotic, and the plan B, okay?”

  “Thank you for everything. Will you let me know about the pap smear and blood work?”

  “Yes, I’ll let you know as soon as possible. I need you to remember to ice, rest, and stay on top of your anti-inflammatories for pain. Is there anything else I can answer for you?”

  “How do I remove the stitches?”

  “Oh, 5-7 days, I want you to come back and I’ll remove them for you.”

  “Okay. Thank you. Um, how do I pay you for everything?” I ask. I didn’t even think to ask about how much all this would cost.

  “It’s free of charge.”

  “I don’t believe it. How?”

  “We don’t charge when someone needs our help,” a voice calls from over my shoulder. I turn and see the gorgeous guy from before. I didn’t catch his name. He walks in with Jen.

  “Oh. Are you sure?” I look to Jen.

  “Yes, Han. They won’t charge you.”

  “Okay.”

  “How’s she doing, Doc?” Jen asks. I can feel the gorgeous guy staring at me.

  “She’ll be okay. I gave her some meds and she needs to come back in five days so I can remove the stitches.”

  “Everything okay, Hawk?” Jen asks the gorgeous guy. Hawk, his name is Hawk? These guys have some weird names.

  “Yup. Doc, you all wrapped up in here? I’m calling church.” He walks out without saying a word. That was weird, now they are going to c
hurch.

  “Did I do something to upset him?” I ask Doc and Jen.

  “No, Hawk’s got a lot of shit on his plate right now. Being President isn’t easy. Don’t take it personal, it has nothing to do with you.”

  “Can we leave now?” I ask Jen. I feel uncomfortable suddenly.

  “Yeah, let’s get you dressed.” Jen helps me dress back into my clothes. I can’t wait to take a shower. I feel like I have blood and filth all over me. We head out of the makeshift doctor’s office they have and into that main room again.

  “Jen, am I seeing things or are there naked women over their giving that guy head?” I whisper to her.

  She starts laughing. “You’re definitely not seeing things.”

  “Oh, okay.” What kind of place are we in? I lean on her a little more and we make our way through. A girl stops in our path. She looks fake and disgusting. Her lips look like vagina lips and her teeth look like shark teeth. Yikes.

  “Can I help you?” Jen says.

  “Yeah, who’s the new bitch you got with you?” she says, referring to me.

  “Whoa there, don’t be calling my cousin a bitch. You don’t know what you are doing right now. So step back and let us through.”

  “No. I want to see what this bitch is hiding under that hoodie.” She makes a move to remove my hoodie. It’s at that moment that a hand stops her. It’s Hawk. He grabs her hand, stopping it from touching me.

  “You will not disrespect anyone in this club. Now, get the fuck out and never come back,” he yells are her. He’s scary.

  “I’m sorry, Hawk. Please don’t kick me out. Let me make it up to you. You know I know how to treat you right, remember?” She’s rubbing her hands all over him. He want’s none of it.

  “Prospect, get this trash out of here.” Another guy comes up to her and pushes her out. Not in a violent way but in a get the fuck out kind of way. He turns to me. “Let me help you to the car.”

  I just stare at him for a moment searching his eyes for something to tell me he won’t hurt me. His eyes get sad for a moment.

  “Hawk, you don’t have to do that. I got this.”

  “No.” Jen steps back and lets him near.

  “Can I?” he asks as he holds his arm out for me.

  I nod my head yes and take his arm to lean on.