My Life as an Album (Books 1-4)

by LJ Evans

  Of course, this had me rolling my eyes inwardly at myself. And it was then that I remembered how ridiculous I must look with no hair and a sweaty grimace. So, I slowly, ever so slowly, let my dark hair drop down, wishing I wasn’t as absurd as I looked.

  On most days, I was proud of my hair. I’d just spent thirty minutes in normal Tennessee two o’clock humidity, however. So I was pretty sure it was flat where I didn’t want it to be and curling funny where it shouldn’t. But better down than cupped in my hand like a swim cap.

  “Ms. Phillips?” he asked in a voice that was lyrically smooth, like a chord from an Ed Sheeran love song. He sounded just like he looked: sultry and intoxicating. The Good Girl Mia side of me was screaming to back away from the boy.

  “Yes?” I was surprised to hear my own voice sound so normal while looking at this stunning human being. I’ve read a lot. I mean hundreds upon hundreds of books, and this guy could certainly be on any cover and attract sales like flies attract fish.

  He proved that even more when he smiled, and the smile took over his entire face. It was a smile that showed off the cleft in his chin and eyes that sparkled like rain hitting those clouds inside them.

  “Really?” he asked while his smile spread more.

  “Um. Yes, why?” I asked.

  He threw a thumb back over his shoulder. “Those folks back there said I should talk to the owner. They sent me to pick up the car for the charity auction at the Abbott farm tonight.”

  I didn’t know what to address first. That he didn’t believe I was the owner, which—to be fair—was a completely normal mistake as I was only twenty-two, or the fact that he was supposedly picking up Jake’s cherried-out Camaro. The Camaro that my family and Cam had agreed to auction off for the American Diabetes Association.

  I wasn’t expecting a dark-haired bad boy to be picking up Jake’s Camaro. I was surprised that Daddy or Cam would let anyone drive it. They were having a hard enough time giving it away. But then, I guess it shouldn’t really be a surprise as none of us wanted to drive it. It was still too emotional for both our families. It had sat in the dealership’s showroom since his death. The mechanics kept it running, but that was it.

  “Who exactly told you that you were to pick it up?” I asked, making a beeline for the management offices in the back with him tagging along behind me.

  “Blake. Well, I guess it was Cam. But Blake said to take her orders as if they were his own. I kind of think it’s really the other way around with those two sometimes.” He winked at me. “Do you know them?”

  Again, I didn’t know what to respond to first. The wink that left my still upside-down heart pattering like a kitten who’d just chased a bug, or the absolute nonsense he’d asked about me knowing Blake and Cam.

  “She’s pretty much my sister,” I told him flatly as we reached the office. And she pretty much was. We’d grown up next door, and our families shared everything, including Sunday dinners. And if Jake had been alive, she would have married him and made the sister thing legit. Instead, she was with Blake who was also from our town but lived in Nashville now as an entertainment lawyer.

  I pulled out my iPhone from the desk drawer and texted Cam.

  ME: There’s some moron here who says you told him to come get Jake’s car?

  I waved the book boyfriend into a chair, buzzed the intercom, and asked Mary Beth for an iced tea. “Would you like anything?” I asked the man.

  “Sure, iced tea sounds great.”

  My phone buzzed back.

  CAM: LOL So you’ve met Blake’s pride and joy?

  I stared at the text like it should make sense. She hadn’t really answered.

  Mary Beth, who’d worked for my daddy for almost as long as I’d been alive, brought in two sweet teas. She fluffed her hair that was ratted tall like she still belonged to the eighties while she took in the BB—the book boyfriend—in front of her.

  “Thanks, Mary Beth.”

  “That’s such a southern name.” The BB’s grin returned with the cleft in his chin stretching in a way that made it seem like it was smiling too. “I’m really glad I came to Tennessee.”

  He took a big gulp of the sweet tea and choked almost as if he’d slammed back a shot of whiskey. “Holy shit, that’s sweeter than cotton candy.”

  Mary Beth smiled politely at him. “Thank you.” Then she turned to me. “Anything else you need?”

  Mary Beth seemed to think that any time the parts manager, a mechanic, or one of the male salesmen came into the office, she had to chaperone me like a debutant. It was both pleasant and smothering at the same time.

  “I think we’re good. Thanks. I’ll buzz if I need anything,” I said as I texted Cam back.

  ME: You’re telling me the moron is allowed to drive Jake’s prize possession?

  I took a sip of the tea and turned to find the keys of the Camaro on the wall behind me. When I turned back to the BB, he was watching me carefully, and I literally fought the urge to wipe at my eyes and fix my hair. I’d never been a girl overly concerned with the way I looked. I didn’t go overkill with the makeup. I fixed my hair in the morning and typically forgot about it until it went up into a messy bun at the end of the day. But this man, this BB, made me want to appear as good as any book girlfriend could look.

  My phone buzzed.

  CAM: Maybe you’re right. Can you bring it? And bring the pride and joy back with you. Blake will never let me live it down if he gets lost.

  I sighed. “They’ve had a change of heart. I’ll give you a ride.”

  “What? They don’t want me to pick it up or the car isn’t being donated?”

  “Don’t take it personally. The car. It’s just… special,” I said with a pang of emotion in my voice that I hadn’t expressed aloud in a long time.

  “But the dealership is donating it anyway?”

  “No. My family is donating it.”

  He grinned. “Oh. I see.”

  “I doubt it.”

  I finished my sweet tea quickly. I suddenly needed to get all of this over with. The car and the BB would both be deposited safely, and I could go home where, hopefully, they would both stop pulling at the scabs inside me.

  “I’ve been asked to give you a ride back out to the ranch. Seems there is some fear of you getting lost,” I told him.

  The BB chuckled. “Damn Blake. He never lets anything slide, does he?”

  The BB’s laugh made my insides go squishy again. I suddenly resented it. I didn’t want this temptation to Mary coming into my life and stirring up the pot. I had enough on my plate with taking over the dealership, starting my MBA classes in the fall, and trying to recover from a broken heart. I didn’t need him here making me feel anything. Especially not the desperate longing that hit me when I watched him.

  “Let’s go, Lost Boy,” I said as I grabbed my purse, my phone, and the Camaro keys. I stopped by Mary Beth’s desk.

  “I’m off. I’ll be at the Abbott’s ranch if you need me for anything.” I looked over at the sales folks that were waiting in the air-conditioned room for a new customer that wasn’t going to show in the summer heat. “I guess I’ll have to leave Denise in charge for now. She’s the only one that can sign contracts while Ben is on vacation.”

  Mary Beth patted my shoulder. “Don’t you worry, sugar. We’ll keep this place rolling. Remember, we’re closing early, anyway. Everyone in town will be at Jake’s fundraiser.”

  I swallowed back the lump in my throat, nodded, and walked out of the showroom with the BB following me.

  The Camaro

  HAPPIER

  “Promise that I’ll not take it personal baby

  If you’re moving on with someone new,

  Cause baby you look happier, you do.”

  -Ed Sheeran

  As I rounded the corner of the building, I stopped suddenly at the sight of Jake’s Camaro. It wasn’t like I hadn’t expected it. I’d come out to drive it for goodness’
sake, but it was still hard to see.

  Daddy had had the body department take it out and detail it. It looked sparkling red in the shimmery sunshine. It was so Jake that it was hard to even look at, let alone drive. Jake had loved this car. Even more, he’d loved Cam sitting next to him in it.

  “You okay?” The BB seemed to sense that he had stepped into the middle of something but wasn’t quite sure what.

  I nodded, unlocked the door, and slid into the driver’s seat. I reached across and unlocked the passenger side, and the BB got in as I adjusted the seat. Daddy was pretty much the only one to drive it after Jake, and they’d been close to the same height at a lean, mean six feet two inches or so. My short frame made it a stretch even with the seat as close to the dash as I could get it. The truth was, sixties muscle cars weren’t made for short girls.

  I adjusted the mirrors and then finally, unable to delay it anymore, turned the ignition. It roared to life and instantly brought back memories of me in the treehouse with a flashlight and the sound of Jake coming home from the lake. You could hear the car all the way down the street, typically, with the music blaring. And yet, our neighbors had never complained. No one had ever told my parents that he drove too fast or had his music too loud. They all looked the other way. I guess that was mostly due to his superstar status in town.

  “You sure you’re okay?” the BB asked.

  “Stop asking that,” I said with a huff that I didn’t really mean. It was bad enough that I had to drive Jake’s car. I didn’t need some perceptive hunk delving into my emotions.

  “Okay,” he said with a grin that said he found me slightly humorous, and I didn’t know if I hated that or liked that.

  I pulled out of the lot and headed down the street, making the turns automatically till we got out to the pastures and farms. We passed the turnoff for the lake, and I couldn’t help but let my head be drawn that way ever so slightly; wondering if Jake was watching over us all from his place by the tree with branches like a goalpost that he and Cam had loved.

  “So, you know Cam well then?” he probed further.

  “We grew up together,” I said, not wanting to be rude, but definitely not wanting to talk.

  “You know Blake, too?”

  I just nodded.

  “Don’t feel like you have to elaborate or anything,” the BB said.

  I didn’t want to elaborate, but I could also sense my Southern manners kicking in. It wasn’t polite to let your guest do all the talking. Not that he was really my guest. I hadn’t invited him to Jake’s fundraiser, but if Blake and Cam had, then it was pretty much the same thing.

  I sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little emotional today. This was Jake’s car.”

  I could feel the BB’s eyes boring into me, but I didn’t look over. “Jake, as in the guy the fundraiser is named after?”

  I just nodded.

  He seemed to be putting it all together, which meant I didn’t have to spell it out for him. “You’re his sister?”

  I nodded again. I am his sister, but it still felt like it should be said in the past tense. I was his sister. He’s dead. God, I couldn’t believe I had tears in my eyes. What in bejesus was wrong with me? I hadn’t cried over Jake in a long time, and especially not openly in front of another human being.

  “Wow. I’m sorry. That sucks,” he said.

  As we neared the ranch, I tried to get my emotions back under control by turning the attention back to him.

  “And who are you exactly?”

  “I was hoping you’d ask,” he said with that infectious, knowing smirk that simultaneously made me want to wipe it off and join along. “I’m Derek Waters. Musician. Songwriter. My band is playing tonight.”

  Of course this beautiful BB would be a musician, I thought to myself with a whole pile of sarcasm. Cam had said he was one of Blake’s protégés so I should have put two and two together instead of being stunned brain-dead by his gorgeousness. Blake did specialize in writing contracts for up-and-coming musicians after all.

  “I can’t believe they were going to let you drive Jake’s car,” I groused before I could help myself. Then I flushed in embarrassment because that was definitely not something a polite Southern girl was supposed to say.

  To my surprise, he laughed at me. A big laugh that seemed to come from his belly and had me glancing in that direction, taking in how awfully good he looked in those snug jeans of his. This made me want to rip my eyes off and stuff them away where they couldn’t do any more damage.

  I pulled into Blake’s grandparents’ farm and was taken aback by the volume of trucks and cars. A massive tent had been put up near the barn, and people were busy hanging twinkle lights and setting up tables with flowers.

  Somewhere in the middle of all that would be Cam, going a mile a minute even though she was eight months pregnant. It hadn’t been a planned pregnancy. She and Blake weren’t even married yet. Like all things Cam, stuff happened before she thought about it. She appeared to be taking it in stride, which seemed so not the Cam that Jake and I had grown up with that it made me sad once more.

  Old Cam would have been kicking walls at the idea of carrying anyone’s baby, and especially the idea of carrying anyone’s but Jake’s.

  “Shall I go see where they want the car parked?” the BB asked, and I realized that I needed to start thinking of him by his real name, Derek.

  “That would be great,” I said.

  He jumped out of the car, and I literally sighed with relief. I thanked God that I could go back to being my normal self instead of the drooling Neanderthal girl I seemed to have become around him.

  Blake found me sitting in the car. He leaned his shaggy, blonde-haired head into the window to give me a half hug. “Hey, Mia! Why don’t you get out, and I’ll drive the car over to where we want it set up?”

  “You don’t trust me?” I asked, teasing.

  “She seems completely trustworthy to me,” Derek said, coming up behind Blake.

  I couldn’t help the visible eye-roll. Blake saw it and grinned his joyful smile that was never far from his face. I could tell why Blake and Derek got along. They both seemed like generally happy guys. I wondered what it must be like to be that happy all the time.

  Blake turned to Derek and waved his finger at him. “No.”

  Derek grinned. “I didn’t—”

  “No!” Blake cut him off.

  “Hey!” I protested because I was a good driver. I was as careful driving as I was with almost everything in my life.

  Blake took me in and then started backpedaling, “That’s not what I meant. Honest.”

  I realized I was missing something, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what it was. Not with Derek belly laughing again. It made my stomach flop like when you flipped backwards over the top of the monkey bars for the first time.

  I got out of Jake’s car, grabbed my bag, and headed for the tent. “I’ll leave you two children to whatever it is you’re doing. I’m assuming Cam’s inside?”

  I didn’t wait for a response. I could still hear Derek laughing, and it sounded like Blake punched his shoulder, but I didn’t bother to look back. I was glad to be leaving gorgeous with gorgeous behind me.

  In the tent, I found Cam going a mile a minute like I had expected, which was still good to see because for a while after Jake had died, she’d come to a full stop like she never had in her whole life. Now, with Blake and the baby, she was almost back to normal, except that it was a different normal.

  Her dark hair, with its chestnut highlights, was shorter than it used to be when we were growing up, but she still had it in a ponytail in acknowledgement of the heat. She was in a t-shirt dress which, again, was so anti the old Cam that it was hard to take in. It was probably much more comfortable than jeans due to the little round ball sticking out of her middle, though.

  “Cam!” I said and hugged her. She hugged me back, and this stupid, emotional me got teary-eyed, causing
Cam to notice.

  “Hey, kiddo!” She pulled back, taking me in. “What’s wrong?”

  I waved her off. “Nothing.”

  “Did the moron upset you?”

  “No. No. I think it was just driving the Camaro.”

  As I said it, Blake drove it up onto the grass near the tent, and the beefy engine got to us both. “He really loved that car,” Cam said quietly.

  We both stared for a moment, taking it in. Cam had ridden in the car way more than I had. She’d been Jake’s sidekick and soulmate from the time she was born, and even my birth, two years after her, had never come in between them.

  Blake exited the car, smiled at her, and then went off in a different direction once Cam had smiled back. It made me wonder, like I had a million times before, what Jake would think of Cam and Blake. Would he be like Ed Sheeran in “Happier”? Would he be happier to see her with someone new rather than with no one? I thought he would like to see her being taken care of and with someone that knew them as well as Blake had. I thought he would like to see her able to smile once more, but I also thought he’d hate the idea of her in anyone’s arms.

  Cam was never one for tears, and even though the Camaro had momentarily gotten to her, she’d already turned back into her normal, bossy self which was good because it kept her from punching something instead. She handed me a box of mason jars filled with candles.

  “Here, they go on all the tables, according to the event planner.”

  “Okay, but I have to leave soon to get ready. I’m sweaty as sin,” I told her.

  “You’ll just get sweaty all over again. We’ve got the misters and fans set up, but today had to be one of the muggiest days of July, didn’t it?”

  “Are you wearing that dress?” I asked her.

  “You don’t think it works?” Cam gave me her mischievous smile that used to mean she was plotting against Jake, but now was aimed at me.