The Right Way

by Ashey, Katie

  Smiling, I said, “Even though he made mistakes in the past, I know you would have been your dad’s little princess. He would’ve showered you with love and gifts and attention. Knowing him like I did, he would’ve given anything to be here to be the dad you deserve.” Tears pricked my eyes. “God, I miss him.”

  Dipping my head, I wiped my moist eyes on my shoulder. “I don’t know a lot about babies, least of all little girls, but I promise you there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. As a part of me, I would love you by default, but the fact you’re a piece of Jake makes you extra special.”

  I brought my lips to her plump little cheek. “I might not be your father, but there is nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for you. You have my heart and soul, Evie.”

  A sharp intake of breath caused me to jerk my attention away from Evie and over to the bed where Presley stared wide-eyed at me. I jumped in my seat, which caused Evie to grunt in protest. I could only imagine how it looked—me without a shirt on and holding Evie, not to mention the absolute nonsense I was saying.

  “Uh, the nurse came in while you were asleep and suggested we do some of the skin to skin stuff.”

  Presley nodded. “Yes. It’s very good for her.”

  “You don’t mind?”

  “Why would I mind?”

  “I know. It’s just…”

  “You’re not her father.”

  “Exactly.”

  “In the end, that doesn’t matter. You helped bring her into the world. After all these months, I’m sure she knows your voice.”

  Talk about a punch to the gut. The idea that Evie could recognize me was seriously intense. “You really think so?”

  “I do. It’s probably why she was listening so intently to you.”

  Oh shit. How much of my emotional rambling had Presley heard? “Um, how long were you awake before I noticed.”

  “Awhile,” she murmured before giving me a tentative smile.

  Fuck me. “I was just talking nonsense to her.”

  “It wasn’t nonsense—it was beautiful.”

  I cleared my throat. “Um, thanks.”

  It was like Evie possessed an almost sixth sense. As soon as she heard her mother’s voice, she immediately perked up and began squirming. “I think she wants you.”

  A sheepish look flashed on Presley’s face. “Can you give me like five minutes? I really need to pee.”

  “No prob.”

  After Presley threw back the covers, she tentatively put her legs over the side of the bed. When she started to stand up, she wobbled a bit before falling back into the bed. Shifting Evie in my arms, I shot to my feet and hustled to her side.

  Holding out my arm, I said, “Need some help?”

  With a frustrated grunt, Presley jerked a hand through her hair. “How much more mortifying is this going to get? I can’t even get to the bathroom on my own.”

  “Give yourself some slack. You just squeezed a watermelon out a lemon-sized hole.”

  She giggled. “And you were there to see it all.”

  Wincing, I replied, “I’m afraid so.”

  “I’ll never forget when you almost puked everywhere.”

  “Me either.”

  As she hooked her arm through mine, she peered curiously at the side of my chest. “What?” I asked.

  “I didn’t know you had a tattoo.” Before I could respond, she replied, “I mean, how could I know since I haven’t seen you with your shirt off since high school.” She grimaced. “You would have your shirt off at your pool when we would all go swimming.

  “I just got it a few months ago.”

  “It’s for Jake, isn’t it?”

  I nodded. Since the room was dark, I knew she couldn’t quite make it all out. “It’s his initials and the date he died.”

  She reached her finger out and traced over the lettering. “He would’ve thought that was badass.”

  “I’m sure he would’ve. I plan on adding to it. I just haven’t had the chance.”

  “I’ve been thinking about getting another one.” A mischievous glint flickered in her eyes. “You know, so I can scandalize your mom again.”

  Laughing, I replied, “Damn, I’ll never forget the look on her face when she first saw the one on your ankle.”

  Presley snickered. “I’m pretty sure I went straight to the top of her prayer list after that.”

  “So far I’ve been a pussy and not told her about mine.” Before Presley could react, I jerked my gaze down to Evie in my arms. “Sorry about that.”

  “Don’t worry. With my potty mouth, I’m sure a cuss word will be one of her first.”

  “A tattooed, cussing mama,” I teasingly replied.

  “Har, har.” She grinned at me. “But the next one will something for Evie. And maybe for Jake.”

  My skin prickled under her finger that remained on my chest. For some reason, I didn’t like the idea of her inking Jake’s name permanently into her skin. I’m not sure why it mattered.

  We arrived at the bathroom door, and Presley pulled away. “I think I can handle it from here.”

  “I can wait right here to help you back.”

  Although she looked like she might protest, she bobbed her head. “Thanks, Jonathan.”

  “Anytime.”

  She flashed me a brief smile before she went inside the bathroom. As I stood there holding Evie in the crook of my arm, it hit me how after today things would never be the same between Presley and me.

  And that was both good and bad.

  Chapter Fourteen: Presley

  As the first weeks in December flew by, my life continued to evolve as a new mom. Evie kept right on growing, and her tiny features continued to mirror Jake’s. Evelyn’s favorite thing was to compare baby pictures of Jake and Evie. If it weren’t for the dimple on her right cheek, it would’ve appeared she had none of my DNA.

  The first week home was pretty hellish as I recovered not only from giving birth, but also getting used to a newborn’s sleep schedule. Of course, Evelyn was always there to help out. I couldn’t imagine how I would’ve survived without her. My own mom could barely be bothered to stay in town a few days after I came home from the hospital. I was shocked she even did that.

  Even Martin went out of his way to be helpful. Although I’m pretty sure he’d never folded a piece of his own sons’ laundry, he was happy to do Evie’s. When he came in from work, he immediately sought her out. She clearly had him wrapped around her little finger.

  As for the other Nelson men, they were both coming back home now that finals were over, and Christmas was just a few days away. Well, Jonathan had been home every weekend since Evie came home and some during the week. Jason had initially come down the weekend she was born, but his work and class schedule didn’t give him any more time to be away.

  It had been interesting watching how differently the two of them interacted with Evie. While Jason was content with just holding her for a little while before giving her back to me, Jonathan was all in. For starters, he changed diapers, even the poop ones that caused him to gag.

  With our connecting rooms, he could hear when she woke up crying in the middle of the night. Sometimes he would appear in the doorway and ask if I needed him to take her. Considering my exhaustion levels were off the charts, I would happily hand her over to him.

  In those wee hours of the morning as he bounced Evie in his arms around the bedroom, a gnawing feeling entered the pit of my stomach. Its warmth trailed up into my chest. I wanted to think it was the postpartum hormones that initiated feelings I shouldn’t have had towards him. That I was a single mother who was just basking in the attention of a good-looking male who adored my daughter. There was no way it could be anything different or anything more.

  Of course, there were also still moments of mortification with both of us. Like this afternoon after I’d been feeding Evie. I’d come upstairs to my bedroom since Evelyn was expecting some of her family to arrive for an early Christmas get together, and I didn�
�t want to greet them with my boob out. Since it was still up in the air whether we would go to the farm on Christmas Day, Evelyn had decided to have a low-key get together at the house.

  After nursing herself into a milk coma, Evie started to doze off. I’d just shifted Evie to my shoulder to burp her when I heard Jonathan’s voice in the hallway. “Where’s my Evie Boo?”

  At the rattle of the doorknob, I cried, “Wait, Jonathan!”

  But he didn’t hear me. Instead, he just burst on into the room while I fumbled to cover myself. At the sight of my exposed boob, a horrified look came over his face. “Oh fuck,” he muttered before he whirled around and ran out the door.

  Rolling my eyes to the ceiling, I shook my head. “Well, that wasn’t awkward at all, was it?”

  Evie responded with burp. “Good girl.”

  Once she was asleep, I put her down in her bassinet. I picked up the monitor and then eased out of the bedroom. When I got downstairs, I found no guests had arrived. Jonathan was partially hidden by the refrigerator door as he rummaged around inside.

  “Hey,” I said.

  He froze. A few seconds passed before he peered around the side of the door. “Hey.”

  “I thought it was best to clear the air of any awkwardness.”

  “Um, sure.”

  “I suppose it’s not surprising what just happened with us living in such close quarters.”

  “I guess not.”

  “But maybe from now on out, you could knock before you came into the room?” I suggested.

  “Trust me. I will no longer enter your room until I get a verbal confirmation.”

  “Was it really that traumatic after you went through labor with me?”

  “Uh, yeah, it was.”

  “It’s just a boob.”

  He gave me a withering look. “Don’t stand there acting all progressive when you were busting your ass to cover up.”

  With a laugh, I replied, “Fine. I was a little freaked out. Especially since I’d gone upstairs to feed her so I didn’t your grandparents seeing my boobs.”

  “See? We’re even.” He then tossed a packet of ham and cheese on the counter. “Want a sandwich?”

  Glancing at the clock on the oven, I said, “Dinner is in an hour.”

  “I need to eat now.”

  “Oh, aren’t you staying for dinner?”

  He gave me an odd look. “Duh, I live here.”

  “I just thought after you spent some time with your grandparents, you’d be heading out to go to the party at Avery’s.”

  “How did you know about that?”

  “Someone mentioned it on social media. I thought since you missed her other one, you might be making up for lost time.”

  With a snort, Jonathan rolled his eyes. “That would be a negative.”

  I didn’t know why I was so relieved to hear he wasn’t going. After all, it wasn’t any of my business who he hung out with—even if it was my arch nemesis.

  “Honestly, I was slightly curious about going since Jake always said the Christmas parties were the best.”

  “Because everyone went skinny dipping in their heated pool?”

  “Uh, no, because her parents catered in a full buffet from La Parilla.”

  Rolling my eyes, I replied, “Yeah, I’m sure Jake was stoked for the Mexican food over the skinny dipping.”

  Jonathan grinned. “I think you underestimate his love of burritos and tacos.”

  “Trust me, I’m sure tits and ass always won out.”

  Snickering, Jonathan replied, “I would have to agree.”

  I side-stepped him to grab some orange juice out of the fridge. As I reached for a glass, Jonathan said, “You know, most girls wouldn’t be okay admitting Jake’s failings like you do.”

  Glancing at him over my shoulder, I replied, “Call me a realist, but I don’t get the point in making him or our relationship into something it wasn’t.”

  “And that’s just so different from other girls.” Staring pointedly at me, he added, “You’re just so different.”

  “I would argue that as a teen pregnancy statistic, I’m more of the norm.”

  “But you’re not. Especially since you’re still planning on going to college.”

  “Damn straight I am. I want to show Evie you can rise above how you were raised.”

  “Interesting to hear you say that. Sometimes I think I’m the opposite of how I was raised.”

  I downed a sip of orange juice. “What do you mean?”

  “Mom took us to church and instilled all these values in us, yet none of us adhered to them when we got older.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, Jake was in the last year of his life.”

  “You and Jason aren’t godless heathens.”

  He laughed. “You haven’t hung out with me lately.”

  No, I hadn’t. Jake had been the glue that held us together. As the life of the party, he was always coming up with things for all of us to do when I was at the house. Everything from pool parties to game nights. Yeah, it was pretty shocking that Jake enjoyed G-rated fun like board games. Most of the time, Jonathan and I would end up on the same team, and there was nothing better than beating Jake.

  Shaking my head, I countered, “I seriously doubt there is anything you could do that would shock me. At the same time, I know you have a good heart. Compassion. Empathy.”

  “Really?”

  I nodded. “Totally.”

  “Thanks. I want to believe I could be like Jake. Or Noah and Maddie.”

  “Well, two of those you mentioned were works in progress. And celibate . . .” He looked shocked that I raised that one. Okay, moving on. “People can change, Jonathan, you know that. So that should give you hope of how you can change . . . if that’s what you want.”

  He nodded. “I have to say I’m not down for the celibate part, but yeah, I hear you.” After grabbing a beer from the fridge, Jonathan popped the top and then peered curiously at me. “Speaking of Maddie, I don’t think we’ve ever really talked about her and the ring.”

  “It’s not like it’s a fun subject. But what the hell, I’ll bite. What do you want to know?”

  “Did you think the ring was yours?”

  “I hoped it was.” With a shake of my head, I replied, “Deep down, I knew it wasn’t for me.”

  “It didn’t seem that way the night of the Jake’s wake.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You and Avery got in that cat-fight, and you claimed Jake only loved you.”

  Groaning, I buried my face in my hands. “I can’t believe you remember that.” My mind went back to the night of Jake’s visitation at the funeral home. In my grief, I’d let my pride get the best of me, and I’d gone toe-to-toe with Avery.

  Jonathan snorted. “Sorry, but you and Avery fighting over Jake’s urn is something permanently seared into my mind. Not to mention when his ashes spilled out all over the floor.”

  I shuddered. “That was…just horrible. Thank God, your mom had gone home for the night. As for Jake, it’s a wonder he hasn’t haunted me.”

  “I’m pretty sure if Jake had been alive, he would’ve gotten a huge kick out of the two of you physically fighting over him.”

  “I’m sure. He always loved when girls fought over him.” I shook my head. “Jesus, he could be a real jerk sometimes.”

  “That is true.”

  Wagging my finger at him, I countered, “For the record, Avery slapped me. I never touched her.”

  “That was seriously bizarre. Like, I think it was the most emotion I’ve ever seen Avery convey.”

  “I never dreamed she would get physical.”

  “No. You were too busy grabbing up Jake’s urn and claiming he was yours.”

  Talk about a cringe-worthy memory. “Do we really have to relive this? It was a true moment of weakness, which I will also blame on pregnancy hormones.”

  “Oh man, you’re playing the pregnancy card?” he teased.

  “Damn straight.” />
  Leaning in on the counter top, Jonathan said, “There is something else I wanted to know.”

  With a roll of my eyes, I replied, “The rumor about me and Señor Martinez was totally untrue.”

  His brows crinkled. “Wait, what?”

  “You know how Avery brought up that I’d allegedly screwed Señor Martinez and that’s why he had to transfer schools. Well, I didn’t.”

  “Fucking hell. I didn’t remember that.”

  Warmth flooded my cheeks. “Sorry,” I muttered.

  “No, I was wondering if you were angry when you found out the ring was for Maddie?”

  “It wasn’t exactly anger that I felt.”

  “What was it?”

  Devastation. Sadness. Envy. Those were all the emotions that coursed through me when I found out who the mysterious ring Jake had left behind actually belonged to.

  I tore my eyes from the counter to stare at Jonathan. “I guess, it was more envy than anything. He never loved me, but he did her. So much so that he bought her an engagement ring.”

  Jonathan’s brows creased with thought. “Deep down, I think Jake loved you.”

  A mirthless laugh bubbled from my lips. “You’re full of shit.”

  “I’m serious.”

  “Come on, Jonathan. We both know what I was to Jake: a lay.”

  “That’s not it, and you know it.”

  “I’m pretty sure it was.”

  “If you were just a lay, why did he keep coming back to you? You guys were off and on for years.”

  Don’t do this. Don’t add fuel to the waning flame I carry for Jake. “Maybe he did enjoy spending time with me.” Giving him a pointed look, I added, “Both with and without our clothes.”